A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 24
But I Don't Want a Babysitter

Chapter Description: Images for this story can be found at the following web..... https://sites.google.com/view/comedy-ars-characters/home

“Good morning sunshine! … Looks like you don’t belong in a crib anymore.”

When Sammantha woke me, I felt like Gulliver in the land of the Liliputians.  My head and feet were somehow bent up like a pretzel as I laid in a bed in which I obviously, no longer belonged.

“So sweety … can you do the math?”

“I think I’m nine now.  My punishment is almost over.  And I’m dry too.”  I lowered the gate myself and stepped out of the crib, still wearing my now very tight ‘eights’ clothing.

“Wonderful … And after you eat breakfast, I’m going to give you the written portion of your punishment, and then you’ll officially be off my ‘shit list’.”

I was a bit perturbed.  “Written portion?  You never said anything about that.”

“You need to do something constructive between now and lunch.”

“How about if I just de-construct the crib?”

“Oh no … We’re going to keep it here awhile to provide motivation for your good behavior.”

I whined, “But Mom … Weren’t the last four days motivation enough?  If my friends see a crib in my room, then they’ll think I’m a baby and tease me.”

Sammantha nodded.  “Good, then maybe that will motivate you to want to go to school and make some friends … and then maybe we’ll take down the crib.”

I looked down.  “Mom, I don’t like how you always twist things around.”

“Go eat your breakfast, sweety.”

I ate my cereal slowly.  I hated the thought of a written punishment.  It was like she was rubbing my face in it.  It reminded me of elementary school.  It also reminded me of Bart Simpson writing a repeated message on the chalkboard at the opening of each Simpson episode.  That’s it!  Maybe I can do that … I can write ‘I will not fuck my mom’ … 500 times.

After breakfast, Sammantha pointed me to the student desk in my room and asked me to take out paper and pencil.

I asked, “So Mom, are we going to start with the pencil test?  I’m going to need to see your boobs.”

She was not amused.  “No, smartass … I want you to write about your thoughts concerning what happened this week … and leave out everything about bullies.  I want to see one full page, single-spaced.  You can begin now.”

I grumbled, “But Mom, you’re the psychologist … Isn’t it your job to write about it?”

Sammantha frowned.  “Would you like a nice bath in warm water?”

“Okay, okay, I’m writing.”

Gee, could the morning get any more fun than this?  So what can I say?

… ‘Dear mom, I am seriously pissed off.   You’re parenting skills have a lot to be desired.  I don’t care if you stay or leave but this role play bullshit is officially done.  I will no longer be your ‘sweety’ little boy.  I have been humiliated, mortified, abased, abashed, abused, bemeaned, chastened, , degraded, demeaned, denigrated, disgraced, debased, shot down, cut down, dressed down, kicked around, and ass whipped for the last time.’

 (That’s exactly what I should have written.  Then I picked up my pencil and began my note.)

… ‘Mom, I’m really sorry that I mouthed off at you four days ago in the kitchen.   Being a ten year old,  I’ve found that sometimes my mouth says things faster than my brain can think about what I am going to say … and that was one of those times where I wished I was not a little boy.  I know that I am very fortunate to have a mom as nice as you and you are always deserving of my respect.  As soon as it happened, I knew that what I said was bad and wrong and that I was going to be punished for it and deservedly so.  To be honest, I don’t like to be spanked. You spank really hard and it really hurts a lot … and it seems that you have found a different and effective way to punish me … and frankly, I don’t like it any better than a spanking.  I really hate being a baby.  It is super-degrading and I would need a microscope to find my penis.  I am hereby stating that pooping in a diaper and sitting in the poop, waiting to be changed … and getting cleaned up with baby wipes as I lie there nude in a girls’ public restroom … is officially, the worst feeling I have ever had in my life.  But it got my attention and I will try to be extra careful in the future about thinking before I speak.  Sometimes when I argue with you, I’m not meaning to be disrespectful or saying that you’re wrong.  It’s just that I might have a different opinion … on things such as my bedtime, or wearing PJ’s, or drinking soda or watching porn or jacking off.  I know you love me and have my best interests at heart.  You are always good to me and I really want to please you, so I will try to do better and hope that you will be able to forgive me and be proud of me …  love, your son,  Derrek.’

I read it over several times and yelled out, “Mom!  I’m done!”

I handed the note to Sammantha and she sat down on my bed to read it.  I tried to gauge her emotional expression as she read it, but I didn’t see any.  She took her time reading it.  I was really nervous.

Then she spoke.  “Thank you, sweety.  You put some good thoughts into this note and yes, I do forgive you.  This would be a good time for a hug.”

I jumped to her and fell right into her lap, side-saddle this time.  I grabbed her and squeezed her as hard as I could … I think I squeezed the breath out of her … She was going like ‘wohh, wohh’, trying to breathe … but it was a great hug.  We smiled at each other and I hugged her again.

I exclaimed, “Mom! I’m so happy to be done with my punishment.”

“Well that makes two of us, sweety.”

“So what are we going to do today?  It’s Friday.”  Our bodies finally separated. 

“Well, while you were writing, I received a call from an old college professor and he invited me to attend a psychology conference in Chicago.  The only catch is … it’s tomorrow.”

I brightened up when I heard that.  “That’s great, Mom!  We get to fly to Chicago.”

“Well, not ‘we’, sweety.  Unfortunately, no kids are allowed.”

I scoffed, “But that’s not a problem.  I can just stay in the hotel room while you’re in the conference.”

“I think it is a problem.  Aside from you being bored all day, there’s just too many opportunities for you to get into mischief … and a hotel is full of strangers.”

I argued on.  “No, it’ll be fine, Mom … I really want to go with you.  It’ll be like an adventure.”

“This is not Disney World, Derrek.  I can’t take you and your arguing won’t help.”

“So you want me to just stay home and jack off and watch TV … and then jack off some more?”

“No, I’ve already hired a baby sitter for you this weekend.”

The blood quickly drained out of my face.  This couldn’t possibly be true.

I pleaded, “Mom, you’re joking, right?”

“Derrek, I’m not joking.  There may come a day when I can trust you to be by yourself, but today is not that day.”

I started to cry.  “But Mom, when I agreed to do role play, I knew that I’d be doing it with you.  I never thought that I’d be so little that you would have to get me a babysitter.”

“It’s not your age, Derrek … It’s your recent erratic behavior that I’m worried about. You got caught looking at porn, you mouthed off to me in the kitchen which resulted in your major punishment, I had to smack you in the grocery store because you threw your binky on the floor, and at the zoo, you started singing about your penis.  Derrek, you’ve been acting like a child … What do you expect me to do?”

I hugged her again while I cried.

“Nooooooooooooo … Mom, pleeeeease, I promise I’ll be good.”

“Then you better make that same promise to the babysitter.  Her name is Kitti Power and she’s sixteen years old.  She has great references from the high school and she works very well with little boys.  I already told her you were ‘allergic’ to water.”

In an unusual emotional state, I found myself yelling at Sammantha.  “That’s because she’s probably a big fat slob who weighs 300 pounds and sits on boys to control them.”

She admonished me, “You better be more respectful to her than that, young man.”

“Mom!” I yelled.  “Don’t you think it’s like super creepy for a 28 year old man to be babysat by a sixteen year old girl?”

Sammantha was rapidly losing patience.  She grabbed my arm and dragged me from the bed to my bedroom door.  Then she closed the door so we could both view the full length mirror on the back. 

Now it was her yelling at me.  “Do you see a 28 year old man in this picture?  I don’t think so … And if you’re going to act like a baby, then I’m going to instruct the babysitter to treat you like a baby.  If she has to put you in diapers and a crib, then so be it.  That will all depend on your behavior.”

I ran back to my bed and buried my face in my pillow while I cried.  “Uhhhhhhhhh … This isn’t fair.  This isn’t fair.  Can’t you see I don’t need a babysitter?”

“You’re making the opposite case, Derrek.  And I’m also instructing her to give you a warm milk bath.”

I just flipped out.  “WHAT?!! … I have to take my clothes off in front of her?!”

“Not necessarily … I could tell her to undress you.”

“So I have to be naked in front of a high school girl?”

“Derrek, you haven’t had a bath since the first night of your punishment.  So you better get your little ass in that tub when she tells you to.  If not, I’ve given her full authority to administer spankings when you don’t obey her instructions.  She may not spank as hard as I do, but I’m sure that with her past experience, the palm of her hand is highly educated at disciplining little boys’ bottoms.”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” I cried.  “This is so embarrassing.  She’s probably going to wash my penis.”

“It needs it, Derrek.”

“But Mom, what if she’s a pervert and cups my balls?   What if she sticks a soapy finger up my rectum?  What if she makes me run around naked the whole weekend?”

“Derrek, I’m sure your bath will turn out just fine.  Just have your pajamas ready.”

“I wailed, “Noooooooooo!  I don’t want to be naked in front of a school girl.  The last time it happened was when I was getting my diaper changed in the girls’ restroom at the grocery store.  Two girls stood next to me and teased me about my ‘wiener’.  Then one of them grabbed my boner and yanked it really hard.  Then they giggled and ran away.  I even know that their names are Starline and Duchess.”

“I didn’t see that.”

“No, because they did it when your back was turned.  And what kind of name is ‘Kitti Power’?  Maybe she’s on a power trip and likes to spank boys for pleasure?  Mom, I’m really scared that she’s going to be my next bully and do terrible things to me.”

“Look, you can call me if you need to, Derrek.  But Kitti has good references from other parents and I’m sure everything will be okay …  And I’m giving you a final warning … You sure as hell better act your age.   If you start using big adult words with her, that’s going to create a very awkward situation.”

“What, it’s not awkward enough that I have to take off all my clothes?  She’s a girl!  What if I get an erection when she’s washing my penis?”

“Then I’m sure she’ll tease you un-mercifully, just like the other girls.  Derrek, you’re making this into a far bigger deal than is warranted.  So you better make up your mind to behave, or when I get back from this trip, and I don’t receive a stellar report from Kitti, then it will be punishment time all over again.  Are we clear?”

I was face down in my pillow and mumbled, “Uhhhhhhh.”

“I need an answer, Derrek.  Do we understand each other?”

I mumbled again, “Uhhhhhhh … yes.”