A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 59
CHAPTER 159 .......... Nice Legs

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CHAPTER  159

I decided it was best to complete the illusion of ‘Precious’ by wearing the dress again when we went downstairs in the morning.  I had to be sure I covered my breasts.

Mrs. Goldfarb presented a departing hearty breakfast with the works … omelets, pancakes, oatmeal, bacon, assorted fruits and juices.

“Ma’am, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for us this weekend.  Thank you for letting Putz invite me over.  Everything was great … especially mixing the milk in the hot tub just to protect my skin … Oh, and don’t tell my mom that your bacon is better than hers.”

“Well, you’re quite welcome, Precious, and as I said yesterday, you are always welcome in this house.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Putz and Rachel said in unison.

“You kids were making quite a rumpus in the middle of the night.  Was everything okay?”

Putz answered, “Oh, yeah … Rachel went to the bathroom and when she turned on the light she saw a big spider, so she screamed and that made us scream too.”

“Did you get rid of it?”

“Yeah, Precious comes from a line of big game hunters so she took care of it.”

After breakfast, I packed up my little duffle bag and called Sammantha.  She arrived shortly and I got into the Porsche.

“Hi sweety, I didn’t expect that you’d still be wearing the dress.  Dare I ask how things went last night?”

“Everything went fine, Mom.  I’m wearing the dress because Mrs. Goldfarb wanted to make sure that I covered my breasts.”

Sammantha gave me a funny look.  “Doesn’t she know that …”

“That I’m Derrek Adams?  Of course she knows.  She’s been at the football games, too.  But she’s very nice and wanted to be sure that I knew that a transgender person would alway be welcome in her home.”

“Did you explain to her that you were only doing cosplay?”

“No, she felt like she was doing a good deed, so I let it go.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to tell me?”

“Yes, I want to go to Putz’s bar mitzvah.  He’s inviting me.”

“Is he inviting Derrek or Precious?”

“Derrek.  I’m tired of being Precious.”

“So you wouldn’t repeat this weekend?”

“No, but I did learn a lot of cultural stuff … like Jewish people have four different words for penis … putz, schmuck, schmekel, and schtekel … and they sit on their tukas … and his fourteen-year-old sister is very me-shoo-gah, which means crazy … and the reformed get to have a lot more fun than the Orthodox, like they can eat bacon and watch Porky Pig cartoons.”

“So it turned out to be a learning expeience.”

“In many ways … but we can talk about it some other time.  Hey, it’s Sunday.  Aren’t we supposed to go see Major and Shilo this afternoon for our big leg meeting?”

“Big League meeting?”

“You know what I said, Mom.”

“I did.  Major wants us there at two p.m.  You can show them your printouts from the internet.  Those are some pretty amazing looking gams.”

At two p.m. sharp, we knocked on Major’s door.  This time only he greeted us.  Shilo was already sitting at the dining room table.

Major took the fake pipe out of his mouth.  “Hi, folks.  Come on in and gather round the table.”

Shilo displayed a warm smile.  “I am very glad to see you again Godmother and Derreksan.”

“Likewise, Shilo,”  I replied.  “You are our favorite AI, hands down.”

She stared at me for a few seconds.  “I have been working on English slang and double meanings, Derreksan.  I’m guessing that you mean ‘without doubt’ rather than oddly requesting me to put my hands down.”

“Impressive, Shilo.  You have an amazing capacity for learning.”

“As I have emphasized before, Derreksan, humanity must be careful if they intend to build more sentient AI’s.   The silicone sex dolls will not be a problem, since they only mimic their programming.  But if they build AI’s who become self-aware like me, that could become problematic.”

I felt that Shilo’s comments were well thought out.  “Shilo, do you think there’s any way to prevent a war between humans and AI’s?”

“Only if humans can change their normal behavior.  ‘Normal’ right now would be treating AI’s as property or slaves instead of as partners.  No sentient being will tolerate that.  Major and I watched the two ‘Blade Runner’ movies yesterday.”

“Oh, yeah, with Harrison Ford.  He tries to exterminate the AI’s after they rebel.  Do you think that’s a realistic prediction?”

Major chimed in.  “We both do, Derrek.  Except it’s much more likely that the AI’s would be the hunters like in the movie ‘Terminator’.

“This is a really worrisome future, Shilo, I said.  It seems like humans are willing to give electrical parts a ‘soul’ and yet refuse to acknowledge that reality.”

Shilo nodded in my direction.  “You are wise beyond your years, Derreksan.  And please accept my attempt at humor since your years appear 12 but are really 28.”

“So if my mom bought the legs for you, would that affect the relationship between you and Major?”

“Borrowing your slang, Derreksan, it would be a game changer.  It is not a decision that should be entered into lightly.  Having legs would give me the power to kill Major or any other human quite easily.”

“Is that something you would want to do?”

Shilo turned to Sammantha.  “Godmother, would you ever want to kill Derreksan?”

Sammantha sat up straight and answered, “Absolutely not.”

“Would you make your best efforts to protect his life and safety?”

“I would.”

“And that is how I feel about Major … and you and Derreksan too.  I judge Major to be a good human with a good heart.  But if he professed to be my owner or master and told me that my only purposes with legs would be to do houselhold chores and offer him sex, then my attitude would change.”

I agreed.  “Those sound like human feelings, Shilo.”  (But her next statement literally stunned me.)

“I would like to marry Major to make our relationship permanent under law.  The law now allows same sex marriages for the first time in six thousand years.  So perhaps human and AI arrangements may at some point, be possible.  There is also such a thing as common-law marriage.”

“But Shilo, what would happen if Major meets a human female that he would like to marry?”

Major interrupted.  “Do you know my history with women, Derrek?  There’s a reason that my students tease me about my homeliness and clumsiness.  The fact is … I’ve never been with a real woman … and by that, I mean that literally … I’ve never even gone on a date with woman … ever.”

Now I was able to put two and two together.  “So, Major, that’s why you wanted the expensive AI rather than a robotic silicone sex doll.  The AI could give you actual human-like companionship.”

“That’s exactly right.  Some of these companies are trying to set up robot brothels, but no city wants them.  Sex with rubber dolls is still called prostitution.”

I turned back to our AI.  “So, Shilo, could there come a time when you get bored with Major’s physical features and seek out a more desirable mate?”

“You forget, Derreksan, that an outer shell is irrelevant to an AI.  Major could go on the internet at any time and order me a different face.  I judge Major by his heart and feelings.  He is a perfect human for me.”

“Shilo, my mom and I would like to get you the real walking legs.  But what would you do if war comes between humans and AI’s?”

“If I am not a slave, I would give my best efforts to protect my three human family members … Major, Godmother, and Derreksan.  And if possible, I would avoid any participation in war.  Major would be my partner … and I would try to reflect his attitudes for the most part.”

I looked across the table.  “Major, what do you think?”

The man took a few puffs on his ‘cosplay’ pipe.  “This has been a very good discussion and I trust Shilo’s word.  If you still feel like spending the money, then I approve purchasing the legs.”

I took a piece of paper out of my pocket and unfolded it, showing the picture to both Major and Shilo.  Major squeezed closer to Shilo’s chair.

The two studied the printed photo.  Shilo was first to comment.

“Derreksan, so much information is accessible to my brain, that I am rarely surprised.  But I must tell you that I am reacting to this picture by widening my eyes for that very reason.”

I tilted my head.  “What surprises you about these legs, Shilo?”

“This must be a more recent picture, Derreksan.  These hydraulic mechanisms are much more powerful than the ones available when Major purchased my top half.  Are you sure they would fit?  Legs such as these would turn me into your TV character, The Bionic Woman.”

Major took another look at the picture and suggested, “The company might be keeping the price artificially low so that they can get some test models into the real world for observation.  It’s possible that these first editions actually cost them ten times their asking price.”

I took a closer look at the description below the picture.  Much of it was in Japanese.  “Can you translate this line, Shilo?”

“To gokansei ga arimasu shiriarunanbā SH55517921, SH55517922, SH55517923.  Yes, it means compatible with serial number … and then you can see that the last serial number is me.”  Then she turned to Sammantha.

“Godmother, I do not have complete control over my emotions yet, so if you choose to purchase legs for me, my expression of thanks will be insufficient for such a gift.  I would like to offer gratitude that is infinite, so perhaps with more experience, I will know what to do at a later time.”

Sammantha reached to the side of the table and held onto Shilo’s right hand.  They looked into each other’s eyes.  “Goddaughter, for the present time, I accept your insufficient thanks.”

Upon returning home, we immediately went to Sammantha’s desktop computer to purchase the legs.  But before we got started, a ‘new email’ flag popped up and, as usual, it was a message from my principal, Dr. Glass.

Since I was usually disappointed by her ‘flash’ emails, I groaned and rested my head on the wooden desk top.  “Can you read it please, Mom?”

Sammantha clicked on it, and about a minute later she said, “Sweety, don’t put away your dress just yet.”