Chapter Description: 2 new pictures added 10/20/23 Images for this story can be found at the following web...... https://sites.google.com/view/comedy-ars-characters/home
On Wednesday morning, Daniel got up early to make breakfast for all three of us. Sammantha was headed back to work to try to catch up with patients she missed during the time she was a little boy.
“Thanks, Dad,” I threw a compliment to him. “This is a great breakfast.”
“Well, you’re quite welcome, Derrek. You look about seven years old this morning.”
“Yep, that’s how it works … So did you bang my mom last night?”
“Sammantha did not look happy. “Derrek, that is quite rude, and frankly, none of your business.”
“Sorry, Mom. But if Daniel moves in with us, we could be a real family and I would have a dad. I never had one before and I would never stand in your way of having adult male companionship.”
Daniel pointed at the boy. “Derrek, that’s not happening. I will never move in with Sammantha. You both saved my life, and for that, I am forever grateful. I know that the two of you are betrothed and I’ve already made up my mind that I will not come between you.”
“But you’re not coming between us, Dad. It’s more like you’re bringing us together.”
“No, Derrek. Think about the future. Doing role play for now is fine. But at some point down the road, the novelty of being a middle-schooler is going to wear thin, and you’re going to want to go back to being adult Derrek. And when that day comes, I think there’s a reasonably good probability that you and Sammantha will be tying the knot.”
“So then what happens to ‘us’, Dad.”
“Simple, for now, the three us continue to be ‘friends with benefits’. Our trio can go out to restaurants, movies, games … maybe travel … or just hang out. Derrek, as a twelve-year-old, I agree with your math teacher. You’re a terrific kid. And it’s just possible that me and your mom will keep banging each other, with your permission.”
Now I smiled. “I like your ideas, Dad … but I have one serious question for you and Mom.”
“Well, since you and Mom are banging each other in a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement, would you guys be okay if I wanted to bang Shilo?”
Both Daniel and Sammantha raised their eyebrows. Sammantha spoke first.
“Derrek, do you really want to have sex with blow up doll or a robot?”
“No, but I’d like to have sex with an intelligent, pretty, sentient being, who happens to be a very nice person … and I think she likes me … and she can’t get pregnant.”
“How do you know that, sweety? She might give birth to a toaster oven.”
Daniel sighed. “Wow … I’m not sure what to think, Derrek. Even if we both gave you a thumbs ups, you would still need to get permission from both Major and Shilo.”
“I know that, Dad. I could ask Mr. Victum on Friday, when I go back to school. If he says no, that’s okay. I’m not going to beg.”
“But Derrek, why would you want to have sexual relations with an android?”
“Because I think she’s much more than an android, Dad. She has feelings like us. Last night, I fell in love with her head.”
“Derrek,” said Daniel, “you can’t have sex with a head unless you just want a blow job.”
“I know, Dad. I want to touch all her body parts.”
“Well, you would need to be very delicate in the way you approach this, Derrek. You can’t just go up to Major and say ‘Hey, Mr. Vic … Can I fuck your robot?”
“Yeah, I’ll be very delicate.”
“And you have to keep in mind that this is Major’s sex partner. He might feel that allowing her to to get laid by someone else would be like ‘whoreing’ her out.”
“True, Dad … But I might have an advantage because my mom is Shilo’s godmother.”
“Well, then wouldn’t that make you Shilo’s half-brother? So sex would be a no-no?”
“I don’t think so, Dad. ‘Godmother’ is just an honorary title.”
Daniel looked up. “Sammantha, what’s your take?”
“My gut instinct is to say ‘forget it’. But considering that this summer, I coerced Derrek into having sex underwater next to a shark and during a jump out of an airplane, I really can’t fault his curiosity.”
Daniel grumbled, “You guys are both really weird.”
“So can I? Can I?” I asked anxiously.
Sammantha shrugged. “Ask nicely, but don’t be surprised if your request irritates your teacher.”
Daniel and I hung out together as dad and son for two more days. We just picked out some local activities to pass the time … bowling, Putt Putt golf, and the art museum. It was a few days where I loved being a child again and having a dad to look up to … something I missed, growing up the first time.
We also spent all of Thursday afternoon at the Buffalo Museum of Science which was pretty cool. It was hard to believe that it was founded in 1861 at the start of the Civil War.
I was extra careful not to touch any water because I wanted to make sure I would grow back to twelve by Friday. Actually, I was just eleven on Friday morning, but would be twelve by game time, so my uniform would still fit okay.
When I walked into homeroom Friday morning, the noise and confusion that surrounded me was quite similar to the previous week when I returned after being poisoned by Randy. But I had no interest in becoming a celebrity.
Madeline and Hoshiko both gave me big hugs and told me how sorry they were for what happened. But I let them know that I was fine … and to all the other kids who peppered me with questions about my kidnapping, I just said ‘I don’t want to talk about it’. And that was the truth.
“Hoshiko, thank you so much for bringing over my homework sheets. I was able to keep up with most of my schoolwork.”
“You are very welcome, Darakatoms. And I was very surprised to see Shilo at your apartment. She’s so nice. We talked for a while in Japanese, but I could not come in because the ladies were trying on dresses.”
Then Madeline expressed her concerns. “Derrek, I was so scared when I found out that the school email was about you and Sally. She is so evil. But I was really relieved when your little neighbor boy, Johnny, came by on Tuesday and let us know that you were okay.”
I agreed. “Johnny’s a cute kid, Madeline, but his mother ought to do something about his potty mouth.”
“… which was on full display Tuesday morning,” Madeline added.
“Darakatoms, why do so many people attack you?”
“It’s just coincidence, Hoshiko. Randy wasn’t really trying to harm me … and Sally just has a problem in her head. I should not have rescued her from Starline.”
“Ah, that is why she thought you were her boyfriend?”
“Exactly, I should mind my own business.”
“Do not say that, Darakatoms. You are a good person.”
“And so are you and Madeline.”
Friday morning’s Math class was somewhat unusual. Randy and the rest of the ‘animals’ stopped pranking Mr. Victum. I wondered if they had begun respecting him more since they found out he was not the ‘loser’ they had pegged him to be. No, lately he’d been banging his totally hot girlfriend. That sure sounds like something I’d like to do.
When the bell rang, ending first period, I waited until the rest of my classmates departed before approaching my teacher’s desk. I knew that he did not have a second period class to teach.
“Welcome back,” he said to me with a smile. “Derrek, I have to tell you that it was quite enjoyable for me and Shilo to meet your mom and your alter ego, little Johnny, on Tuesday evening. Your mother has very high standing in the Buffalo community.”
“That’s very kind of you, Mr. Victum. It was super exciting for me to talk to Shilo and find out that she could even speak Klingon. I think everyone in class loved her.”
“That’s not surprising, Derrek. For an AI, she has a very caring personality.”
“And that’s what I came over to ask you about, Mr. Victum. I love Shilo’s head so much, and I was wondering if I could come over to your house and meet the rest of her body parts … you know, like fully assembled?”
“Well, I suppose we could arrange that.”
“Would I be allowed to touch Shilo?”
“I don’t see why not. Her skin feels exactly like a real human being.”
“I’d like to ask one more thing, but it’s like … kind of embarrassing for me.”
“Well, Shilo’s not here right now, so you might as well ask me.”
“Mr. Victum … may I touch her breast?”
“Are you asking as a 28 year old man, or as a horny little twelve year old?”
“Interesting. She’s never had any intimate relations with any human besides myself … and ‘embarrassment’ is not part of her programming.”
“I nervously asked, “Would I be allowed to touch her between her legs?”
“So now you want to go for the business end? Wow, Derrek, you really are a horny little bastard.”
“I can’t help it, Mr. Victum. I love Shilo. I’m not going to steal her feelings away from you. It would be more like a friends-with-benefits arrangement.”
The teacher puffed on his fake pipe as he thought it over. “So let me get this straight, Derrek … You just want to fuck a robot for the novelty.”
I pressed my case. “Shilo’s not a robot, Mr. Victum. She’s a self-aware person just like you and me. Her system just operates by electricity instead of by organic food like us. And her feelings are just as important as mine.”
I continued, “To some degree, we’re all programmed by our parents. Her creators programmed her to have empathy … to care about others. That’s something that really appeals to me. I don’t like her just because she has a nice figure.”
“Derrek, how do you know she has a nice figure?”
“Well, her head has a nice figure.”
“Derrek, if it were any other boy, I wouldn’t be having this conversation. But I have great admiration for you and your mom … so let me ring up Shilo and see what she thinks.”
(second ring) “Hi Major, love you! What’s going on?”
“Good morning, Shilo. I have Derrek Adams with me now. He wants to know if he can come over and fuck you.”