A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 79
Freaky Friday (25) – Feeling Moody

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“Anna, this next tool that looks like a duckbill is called a speculum.  I’m going to insert it and it will widen your vagina by a few centimeters.  Now this requires a little class participation.  You need to relax your pelvic floor muscles.  Otherwise, it will feel painful.  Do you think you can be a good girl and do that for me?”

This officially was the worst day of my life … but I nodded anyway.

“Now as long as you other doctors are here, I’m going to ask for a volunteer to splay her vagina.”

The three interns kept pointing at each other and repeating, “Splay her vagina … Splay her vagina … Splay her vagina.”

Finally, Dr. Howard with the bowlcut told the other two to stand on each side of my vagina.

“Now you guys do the splaying while I take a picture of you and the dame with my Polaroid flash camera.”

The two interns pinched my outer labia.  One pulled left and one pulled right to make my hole as big as possible.

“Miss, can you smile please, or at least say cheese?” said the one with the camera.

“Ohh!  Ohh!”  I grit my teeth.  It hurt.  “Ohhhhhhhh!”

“Here we go, Anna,” said Dr. Penice.  “Okay, just a little farther, now.  You’re doing good … almost there … done.”

Dr. Fine let go and got a tissue and wiped the tears from my eyes. “You’re being very brave for dame,” he told me.

“Dr. Penice,” I lightly sobbed, “It feels like I’m being ‘fisted’.”

“That’s a normal reaction, honey, but it’s only a few centimeters.  Just try to relax.  You’re doing good.  We’re going to take a look inside you now.”

“Pardon?”

“This unit is called a colposcope.  It’s like a big stereo microscope that will enable us to look up inside your vagina and decide which tool can pull that bad boy out of you.  Just hold still now … Okay, I see some very pretty lady parts and one nasty cucumber.”

“Dr. Penice,” said Dr. Chuck Fullilove, “Would it be okay if my interns each had a look inside Anna’s vagina?”

“Why certainly … Just form a line.”

(This is so fun … I should do this every day.  I feel like I’m a frog being dissected in a high school biology class.  Could anything possibly be so invasively embarrassing?   No wonder girls get so moody.)

Dr. Howard (buzzcut) first looked into the microscope up into my vagina and said, “I think I see Greta Garbo.” 

Dr. Fine took a peek and said, “No, I think it’s Betty Grable.”

Dr. Howard (bowlcut) looked and remarked, “You’re both wrong … It’s Marylin Monroe.”

“Alright, you’re doing really good, Anna.  We’re almost done.  I just need you to hold real still.  I’m using a narrow rod with a corkscrew tip to drill into the cucumber … and then it should slide right out … Ready?”

I nodded and gritted my teeth again.  I heard the whirl of the drill, and surprisingly, the cucumber was pulled right through the speculum and out of me in under five seconds.  That was a great relief.

“A wonderful lesson, Dr. Penice,” said Dr. Fullilove.  “Thank you for hosting.”

“It was my pleasure for all of you,” Dr. Penice replied.

Dr. Fullilove asked, “Do you feel better now Anna?”

I replied, “I will when Dr. Penice removes the speculum.”

I expected now to be released from my torture table.  But Dr. Fullilove continued to look at me with a puzzled expression.  “Dr. Penice, why do Anna’s breasts appear to have bruises on them?”

Dr. Penice went to the wall and turned on the full compliment of lights.  “That’s odd,” she mused.  “I didn’t notice that in the low lighting.  Are there any other bruises?”

“Yes, on her thighs,” said Dr. Fullilove.

Dr. Penice looked at me sternly.  “Anna, did someone punch you in your breasts and thighs?”

(I was still strapped down.  Was she talking to me, or talking to my cunt?)

I fumbled for an explanation.  “The boy and I were just messing around.  We weren’t fighting for real.”

The nude boy stood up from his wheel chair.  “That’s true, Dr. Penice.  We were just wrestling.”

“Did you punch Anna in her breasts?”

The boy opened his hands to explain.  “We were punching each other.  It was just in fun.”

Dr. Howard (bowlcut) approached the boy with a clenched fist.  He loudly scolded him, “You hit a dame in the bazongas?!  Why I ought to murdalize you!”

“Turn around,” Dr. Penice ordered the boy … and he complied.

“Lord!  What happened to your buttocks?” the doctor exclaimed.  “They’re black and blue and red.”

Then Dr. Penice turned to Paul.  “Mr. Adams, I’m afraid I’m going to have to call ‘Child Services’.”

The man was apoplectic.  “Why?!!” he stormed.  “You’ve got two kids here who were just horsing around.  I certainly don’t beat them.”

“I’m sure you don’t, Mr. Adams.  But New York state law requires that I contact the authorities whenever I see bruises on a child.  There are no exceptions.”

Dr. Penice was already punching her cell phone.  “Yes, have the social worker come up to my exam room, please.”

“But Dr. Penice,” Paul pleaded his case, “this is no different that if they were out in the back yard playing tackle football.  Of course they get a little banged up.  They’re kids!”

“Mr. Adams, I’ve yet to see two children have sex while playing football.”

“Dr. Penice,” I called out, “may I please get off the table now?”

“I’m sorry, Anna, the social worker will want to see you as I saw you.”

“With my legs spread?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Can I get dressed?” the boy asked.

“I’m afraid not,” replied the doctor.  “Your buttocks are exhibit A.”

Paul buried his face in his hands, in misery.

The public address speakers announced, “Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard … Report to the central desk immediately.”

“That’s us!” yelled Dr. Howard (bowlcut)

And for some reason they all departed together, with Dr. Howard (buzzcut) calling out a high pitched, “Wooooooo Wooooo Wooooo Wooooo Woo Woooooooo!”

A short time later, a woman dressed in white, with a clipboard, entered the exam room.

“Good afternoon, everyone.  My name is Judy Moody and I’m a child social worker for the state of New York.  Dr. Penice, can you get me up to speed on our situation here?”

“Of course Miss Moody … We have three issues here involving both the boy and the girl.  There is pre-teen sexual promiscuity, pre-teen sexual abuse, and bruising over various body parts of both children.”

“And I take it, this is the father,” she said, pointing at Paul.  “Would he be a defendant in this case?”

“He’s the boy’s father.  The girl is a family friend.  And no, I don’t believe that the father was a participant, although he might later be charged with parental negligence.”

“I see,” said the social worker.  “And what are the particulars?”

“The two children were apparently involved in a violent sexual orgy earlier today.”

“Just the two?”

“Yes.  In addition to intercourse, they inserted cucumbers into each other’s orifices … the boy, Derrek’s rectum and the girl, Anna’s vagina.”

Judy Moody walked over and stood between my legs, gazing at my cunt. (Yeah, nice to meet you too, Miss Moody.)

“Why did you do this, Anna?” she asked me.

I exhaled a deep breath and answered, “We were just fooling around.  We were curious. That’s all.”

The social worker asked the doctor, “How badly is she injured?  I see a lot of vaginal bleeding.”

“That’s just from my period,” I interrupted.

Judy Moody wasn’t buying it.  “I’d like to see for myself, if you don’t mind.”

(Ugh!  They wheeled over the damned microscope again and Dr. Penice stuck a cold forceps up my cunt to widen the view, while Miss Moody peered at my insides.  While they’re at it, I think they should officially make a movie titled ‘The Story of My Cunt’ starring Mike Hunt.)

“You’re a very lucky young lady,” Judy Moody scolded me.  “An object like that could have injured you to a point where you would no longer be able to have children.”

(But could I still have cucumbers?)

The social worker stood up and faced the nude boy.  “Why is your face so red?”

(Poor Sam.  Now he was trying to cover up a boner while answering the questions.)

“Put your hands at your side,” Miss Moody ordered.  “What’s going on here?  Your face is red and your penis is red.  Did the girl do this to you?”

The boy murmured, “Yes, Ma’am.”

“And did you punch her breasts in return?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“That’s a very bad thing to do, young man.  If nothing else, it could get you in serious legal trouble.  Don’t ever do that again to a girl of any age … Now turn around.”

The boy did as instructed.

“It looks like your buttocks have been through a war.”  Miss Moody turned her head to the left. “Anna, are you responsible for this?”

This time, I was the one who murmured, “Yes, Ma’am … Sorry Ma’am.”

“And did Mr. Adams encourage you to do any of this … the sex, the cucumbers, the wrestling?”

The boy and I both broke out loudly. “On no!  None of it!  We only did it because he went out shopping.”  I’m glad that all three of us got our lie straight.  Two kids alone in an apartment would not have looked good with the authorities.

Judy Moody put her thumb and index finger about an inch apart.  “Mr. Adams, you came this close to forcing me to file a police report.  But since the children are the same age, and you weren’t in the house, I’m not going to do that.”

Paul sighed, “Thank you, Miss Moody.”

“However, I am going to recommend psychological counseling for the two children.  You’ll excuse me please.  I’m going to step outside for a moment to make a phone call.”

By now, only Dr. Penice and the three of us remained in the exam room … and my cunt still had a lot of nice fresh air around it.

- - - Riiinnnggg ! - - - -

Holy shit!  One of our cell phones was ringing.