A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 46
The Naughty Nauti

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The following morning, I woke up and looked myself over in the mirror.  I guess I was a smidgen taller.

“Mom, are you sure you don’t want me to do the teaspoon of water thing?  It looks like I’m maybe twelve now, but still no body hair.”

“It’s fine for now, sweety.  On this trip, I wanted to check out your body and see what you’re like a little older than ten.”

“Do you think Penelope will notice?”

Sammantha shook her head.  “Sweety, I actually don’t care … And don’t tell anyone I said this, but I think the whole Point DuJour family are a bunch of arrogant ‘wack jobs’.”

“Wow, Mom … I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

“Well, pardon my French, but I don’t really give a fuck how big his schlong is or how many millions he paid for his house..”

“But you’re still willing to go diving with them again this morning?”

“It’s just a one-off, sweety.  We’ll have some fun while we’re down here and then fly back home to Buffalo.  These are not the kind of people I would want permanently in my circle of friends.”

“True … and our friends back home wear clothes most of the time.”

“Okay, stop ogling me and get your Spiderman trunks on … Let’s get going.”

“Sorry, Mom, it’s just that I’ve never seen you in just a bikini and nothing else.  I think you look better now than you did at their house last night.  You should do a photo shoot.”

“You mean like a Playboy centerfold?”

“Uh uh.  I don’t want to share you with anyone.  It would be just for me.”

“Ah, I see … You need something to jack off to besides your bunny rabbit.”

“Is that such a terrible thing?”

We arrived at the Point DuJour residence at 8am as expected.  This time, Gladstone and Penelope were wearing their swim gear, and no genitalia were poking out from odd places.

The girl invited us in and she immediately gave me a hug, mentioning, “That was so fun last night.  You seem like you’re taller today.  That’s weird.  Were you guys able to get a good night’s sleep?”

“Oh yeah, I replied.  We were plenty tired.”

Then she moved close to me and quietly asked, “May I take a peek?”

“A peek?” I questioned.

Penelope didn’t wait for a yes or no.  She just took hold of Spiderman’s head and pulled my waistband outward.  Then she took her ‘peek’ and giggled.”

“I’m so sorry, Derrek,” she snickered.  “It may take awhile for the glitter to come off, but maybe the salt water today will help … Did you bring bunny rabbit with you?”

I shook my head.  “Nope, he was too tired.  He wanted to stay back at the hotel and polish his carrot today.”

“Ha, you’re so funny, Derrek.  Sit down and eat breakfast with us before we go.  My mom is making everything.”

Fortunately, Illuminada was wearing clothes too.  I don’t want to be mean, but it isn’t really too fun looking at older naked people.

Her kitchen was about the size of our entire apartment.  There were plenty of seats to ‘belly up to the bar’ so to speak.  And I have to admit, she can cook up a fine omelet.

After breakfast, Gladstone invited us to pile into his SUV for a five-minute ride to the Sapphire Beach Marina, where he introduced us to his private vessel with the clever nautical name of ‘Feelin’ Nauti’.

Penelope gave me a little nudge with her elbow saying, “Dad let me name the boat.”

I grinned and replied, “I absolutely believe that.”

“Welcome aboard,”  Gladstone said, directing us to step over a little bridge and onto his motor boat.  “The Feelin’ Nauti is technically classified as a small yacht.  She’s a forty-footer and cost three million dollars.”

The man should have stopped at the ‘forty-footer’ part.  When he mentioned the cost, I could see Sammantha parch her lips.  She would gladly have thrown up in Gladstone’s face.

Gladstone summoned his two-man crew for introductions.  “Hey folks, I’d like you to meet my pilot, Enrique, and my steward, Jose.  They actually stayed over from the previous owner when I bought the yacht.  They really know their stuff.

We exchanged handshakes and pleasantries while our two hosts began pulling out the diving equipment.  Jose then pulled up the bridge while Enrique revved up the engine … and we were off.

“Need some help, Derrek?” Penelope offered.

“I think I remember from yesterday, but if you’d like to supervise, I’d appreciate it.”

It took about thirty minutes to reach the dive site, and by then, everyone was ready to jump in.  I was a little scared yesterday, but not at all, this time.  And everything felt freer and looser without the wet suits.

Gladstone explained the dive.  “It’s only thirty feet to the sandy bottom, similar to yesterday.  But the fun part is we get to check out a shipwreck.”

“From pirates?” I asked excitedly.

“Afraid not, Derrek.  This boat went down in 1975, when a drunken party got out of hand and nobody paid attention to the approaching rocks.”

“Will we get to see the dead bodies?”

“No, but the sharks had a good meal.  C’mon, time to jump.”

I swallowed hard.  “Sharks? … Penelope, did you bring your spear-gun?”

She answered, “Derrek, you better jump before I push you.”

We drifted lazily down toward the sand.  My fins made swimming seem almost effortless, and Penelope wanted to stay at my side.  She drew my attention to whatever unusual sea life came our way.  As we neared the bottom, the shipwreck came into view.  I was a bit disappointed because it was not really what I considered a ship.  In fact, it was smaller than the Feelin’ Nauti.

Gladstone led us on a round trip around the sunken ‘party’ boat and back to a shuttered window which he opened up and invited us to peak in.

When it was Sammantha’s turn to look inside the window, I nearly went into a panic … and I had a good reason.   But I remembered the advice to take slow calm breaths to prevent hyperventilating and blacking out under water.  Penelope was also looking at me with wild eyes.

No, there was no shark.  What I witnessed was Gladstone ripping his own swim trunks away from his body.  They must have been velcro’d on, but why?   He was now nude except for his diving gear.  This didn’t make sense.

Then we watched in horror as the man pulled out a scissors and snipped off the right and left edges of Sammantha’s bikini bottom while she was still looking through the window.  He yanked the remainder off her butt and it started to float away.  She was now nude from the waist down.

Sammantha felt it.  She turned around slowly.  (You can’t turn around quickly under water.)  Gladstone tapped her shoulder and pointed to his cock, which for some reason was already at full attention.  Maybe the guy took a double dose of Viagra before he left the house.

Penelope and I were about eight feet away from the two adults, watching a horror movie unfold.  She looked at me and opened her hands as if to say, ‘I don’t know why this is happening’.

Sammantha had let Gladstone know yesterday that she had no interest in having underwater sex with him.  He didn’t take the hint.  And now, at this moment, if I could have screamed, I would have yelled at the man to run.  I was seriously concerned that she would do to him, what she did to Gort Canker.

It’s so hard to communicate during scuba.  Sammantha put up the palm of her left hand to Gladstone which meant ‘stop’.   But then she waggled her right hand, which meant that something was wrong.  When you give that signal, then next thing you do is point to what is wrong.

Samantha pointed to Gladstone’s penis.  That’s when I got really worried.  She kept pointing at it, closer and closer, until she got close enough to put his testicles in an iron grip.  Penelope and I floated helplessly nearby.  I started swimming toward the adults trying to get Sammantha’s attention.  I waved my flat hands back and forth to tell her to stop.  (This is the signal football refs use to indicate and incomplete pass.)

I prayed that she wouldn’t rupture him they way she did with Gort.  And that was my next signal … the praying hands.  I put my palms together with my fingers pointed upward, as if to say ‘please’.

Sammantha finally looked at me and apparently understood my desperation.  She released his balls, allowing the man to put his hands down there to soothe them.  But before she swam away, she yanked the air regulator mouthpiece out of his mouth, leaving the man in a panic.  He was trying to re-insert it before he drowned.

Sammantha gave me a ‘thumbs-up’, meaning we should go back up to the boat.  Our little group paired off, Penelope with her father, and Sammantha with me.  Then, at a depth of fifteen feet, we had to pause three minutes to decompress.

Here, I would suggest to the Guinness Book of Records, a new category … most awkward three minutes in world history … an attempted rapist and his intended victim, ten feet apart, staring at each other’s naked genitals.  And with the Viagra still working, Gladstone’s boner must have been a continuing source of embarrassment.

I was really worried about what would happen when we got back in the boat.  One by one, Jose, the steward, offered a hand and we climbed back in.  He had an inquisitive expression on his face when he saw the two nude adults.  He probably figured they had already had the underwater sex, but had oddly, returned from the dive in less than fifteen minutes.

At first, we all unlatched our equipment without saying a word.  Then Gladstone approached our way.

“Sammantha, I want to apologize for what I did down there.  I thought that after all the activity we had in the bedroom last night, that you would be willing to give it another go … as just another ‘fun’ activity.”

Sammantha, however, was not too receptive of his apology, and that is what concerned me … with good reason.   She grabbed the man under his chin with her right hand and forced him on his tip toes by putting her left hand under his right armpit.  It was the same move she put on Andrew at the workout gym.

She forced him back against the wall of the ship’s cabin and uttered her rebuke.  “I’m the wrong person to try to rape, Gladstone.  If your daughter wasn’t present, it would be my pleasure to break all 206 of your bones … and then you could tell me what each one of them cost.”

Penelope sat, bent over and crying, with her hands covering her face.

I felt that I had to act before Sammantha carried out her threat.  The man had had enough ‘proportional’ retaliation.  I jumped on her back and put my left arm around her neck. 

“Mom, that’s enough!” I shouted.  “I need you!  I can’t have you going to jail for assault.  Let him go!”

The man’s erection was still pressed against Sammantha’s belly button.  But she finally relented, and backed off, muttering, “Sorry, Gladstone … Sometimes I get carried away when I’m angry.”

The man rubbed his throat and adam’s apple trying to get some relief from the hand that was pressed against his throat.  “Sammantha, it was a misunderstanding on my part.  Again, I apologize, and suggest we get dressed.  Are you agreeable to not involve the authorities with this incident?”

“Of course, Gladstone … and I too, apologize for trying to cripple you by crushing your testicles, for trying to drown you by removing your air supply, and for trying to strangle you by choking the life out of you … As I said, sometimes I overreact.”

I tried to make small talk.  “Mr. Point DuJour, my mom’s nickname in high school was ‘ballcrusher.’”

Gladstone nodded.  “Can’t imagine how she got that name.”

The four of us began changing back into street clothes.  Since we had seen each other’s naked bodies last night, there was no reason to go to a lower cabin.  We just changed on the deck. 

Penelope was still distraught.  She put a hand on my shoulder, as she sniffed back tears.  “Derrek, I am so … so … sorry for what happened just now.  I like you so much and I hope that you and I can still be friends.”

I tried to console her.  “Of course, Penelope … We’ll always remember the fun we had yesterday.  Creating a star-spangled penis was a unique experience for me.  I’ll never find a friend in Buffalo who’s as much fun as you.”

She looked up.  “So you think that maybe we can meet again sometime in the future?”

I smiled at her.  “Penelope, I would like that very much.”