A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 86
Change is Good

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“Sorry, kids,” Paul uttered.

Those were the last words I heard for many hours.  Unbeknownst to Sammantha and me, one of Paul’s morning errands took him to a gun shop where he purchased two Sabre maximum strength tactical stun guns, each with an electrical charge of 2.517 micro coulombs.

Voltage doesn’t really mean that much with stun guns.  It’s the charge that counts.  Any stun gun with a 1.0 micro coulomb charge is rated as producing ‘intolerable pain’ to its victims.  But we got hit with a 2.517 charge which is one nasty bolt of electricity.

Paul never revealed to us that he coaxed Daniel to be part of the plan.  And Daniel was quite hesitant to participate because he was afraid of killing one of us with that high of a charge for seven full seconds.

“Why seven seconds?” Daniel asked.  Paul figured that he’d better apply it to the base of our brains long enough to simulate lightning.  In truth, Paul didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.

The medulla oblongata is the part of the brain responsible for controlling involuntary actions … such as heartbeat, digestion, and organ contractions resulting from a water curse.  It is located at the base of the brain stem where it attaches to the spinal cord in the center-back of the neck.  That was the target.

Paul stunned his own child while Daniel simultaneously stunned me.  We were both immediately knocked out cold.  They carried our unconscious bodies back to the den and deposited the adult female on the sofa, while the boy was set down on the lazy-boy recliner with the raised foot rest.  They were relieved that we were both still breathing.

In my REM sleep, I was having a terrible nightmare.  A group of head-hunters had captured me and stripped me naked … The women in the tribe ridiculed my voluptuous female body.  They tied my hands behind my back.  Then they pawed and pinched me, inflicting terrible pain. 

Maybe this dream was my body’s reaction to the electrical shocks.  The men of the tribe then lifted me up and took me to their polished stone god … one with a two-foot long, four-inch diameter stone phallus.

One of my greatest fears of being a female is that everyone would want to fuck me, but I never expected to be penetrated by a penis so humongous.  I screamed when I saw it and the men just laughed.

They lifted me high enough to be set down onto the head of this monster.  Then they pushed my shoulders down.  The phallus forced its way up my vagina as if I was having a baby in reverse … and the weight of my own body caused it to fill up my womb.  I sat, impaled on this giant stone penis, suspended in mid air with my legs dangling below me. The pain was excruciating … and everyone laughed at me.

I must have been reliving the pain of the electric shocks.  In real life, my body squirmed … and my eyelids fluttered.  I couldn’t keep them open but I was finally, semi-awake.  I shook the images out of my head.  Then instinctively, I reached down to grab my crotch.

There was a lump between my legs.  I punched my crotch with my fist, which caused me to moan, “Ohhhhhhhh.”   It hurt … but it was a good hurt.

I finally opened my eyes … and found Paul and Daniel right up in my face.

“Who ARE you?!!!” they yelled at me in unison.

“I’m Derrek,” I calmly replied.  “How long have I been out?”

Daniel answered, “About nine hours.  We’re glad to have you back.”

“Where’s Sammantha?” I asked.  I didn’t wait for an answer.  I sat up in the recliner and saw that she was still sleeping on the sofa.  I immediately ran to her.

Shaking her shoulder, I yelled, “Mom!!  Mom!!  Wake up!!  We’ve changed back!!”  I didn’t care if Paul objected to my calling her ‘Mom’.

She was causing me to worry because she kept saying, “Ummph.  Get away!”

I pushed her again.  “Come on, Mom, you’ve got to wake up.”

“Ummph!  No!  You can’t cut it off!  Get away from me!”

Sammantha was obviously having a nightmare too.  I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a can of Coke out of the frig.  I wouldn’t dare use water.  Then I popped the tab and poured some on her face.

She woke with a start.  “Blleeehhhhhhhhhhhh,” she shouted, shaking the coke off her face.  

She coughed a few times and I handed her a face cloth as she sat up on the couch, wiping away the soda.

“Who are you?!”  all three of us asked her, together.

“I’m someone with a splitting headache,” she answered.  “Can I have a couple of extra strength Tylenol, please?”

“But do you know who you are?” I asked her again.

“Of course,” she replied.  “I’m that crabby person who always wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.  What the hell did you hit me with, a sledge hammer?  I’d like to go back to sleep.”

“Tell us your name!” Paul demanded.

The woman scoffed, “Why don’t you just look at the driver’s license in my wallet?”

I plopped myself on the couch next to her and gave her a hug.  “Mom,” I begged, “please tell me who you are.”

She hugged me back.  “Well, sweety, if you insist … My name is Doctor Sammantha Adams, clinical psychologist for the Buffalo Institute for Mental Health.”

I squeezed her harder.  “I love you, Mom.”

Paul added, “Can I have a turn?”

Sammantha stood up and she and her father embraced.  “It’s good to have you back,” her dad said, exhaling deeply.”

“Dad, I’m really sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you in the past month.  I behaved like a first class brat.”

A single tear appeared in Paul’s right eye.  “All of that is forgiven, Sam … So do you still want to keep Derrek?”

“Dad, there’s a good chance that this handsome young boy will someday be the father of your grandchildren.  He can grow back to adulthood any time.”

“Why wait?  He can get you pregnant at twelve.”

Then Sammantha quickly turned to me.  “Uh, Derrek, did you check the water curse?”

We both ran to the sink in kitchen.  “Just use a couple drops,” she advised me.

I took about a quarter teaspoon of water and dropped it on my wrist.  I immediately felt a few minor contractions in my body … and I gave Sammantha a thumbs-up.

Then she ran the faucet over her left hand and felt nothing … other than wet.  “Good,” she concluded.  “I didn’t want to become a four-year-old girl, singing dirty songs at the zoo.”

“Mom, what kind of nightmare were you having?  You kept yelling ‘You can’t cut it off’.

Sammantha laughed.  “That dream was so weird.  The Hooey sisters were chasing after me, trying to cut off my penis with a garden shears.”

Then she reached down and rubbed her crotch.  “Apparently, they succeeded.”

I chuckled a little too.  However there was still one more thing that really bothered me.  I tapped Sammantha’s dad on his shoulder, and inquired, “Paul, the last thing I remember before blacking out were two words … ‘Sorry, kids.’ … What did you mean by that?”

Paul reached for his back pocket and removed an unusual article.  “Derrek, this is a ‘Sabre’, the world’s most powerful stun gun.  I was trying to simulate the lightning when the EMP hit … so I placed it at the back of your brain stem and pulled the trigger.  I gave one to Daniel, too.  So I zapped the boy and Daniel zapped the woman.”

“For how long?” I asked.

“Seven seconds.”

I reacted with alarm.  “Shit, Paul … You could have killed us.”

He retorted, “Could have, but didn’t.”

“Wow … but during that, did our two hands stay glued or magnetized together?”

“Oh, I was watching that carefully,” Paul answered.  “The boy’s right hand and the woman’s left hand shook violently, but never separated.  I thought that was a good sign.”

Sammantha concluded, “If you’re not going to let me go back to sleep, can we all go out and get some coffee?”

Dunkin Donuts was a good choice.  I liked their coffee and you could get, of course, a doughnut too.  We sat down and contemplated our future.

Paul posed the first suggestion.  “Sam, don’t you think it’s time to let Derrek be an adult again?  Daniel seems to have gotten his life back together.”

I smirked and interrupted.  “I was having fantasies of marrying you, Daniel … if I was stuck being an adult female.”

Daniel’s eyes widened as he looked back at me (now a boy).  Well I have to admit you had a super hot body as a girl, but wouldn’t two people with a water curse pass it on to their kids?”

“Too late for that now, Daniel,” said Sammantha.  Derrek is my number one and as far as I’m concerned, he can be any age he wants.  Dad, that’s a decision that I’m leaving to Derrek.”

I shook my head.  “That’s going to be a tough one, Mom.”  (It felt so natural looking up to Sammantha and calling her ‘Mom’ again.)  “Before we switched bodies, being your son has been the best year of my life.  You’re such a good mom and you’re still my hero.  Everywhere we go and everything we do gives me the ‘warm fuzzies’.”

“Those words give me the warm fuzzies too, sweety.”

“Mom, I know that someday, we’ll need to pull the plug on this experiment, but could I please be your boy a little longer?”

“Sure, sweety … But if we go that route, we’re going to need to take a practical approach to our day-to-day living arrangement.  I’m going to be heading back to work, both in person at the office, and with remote sessions at home.”

I had to laugh.  “Gee, Mom, I hope you don’t pull your pants down in Frumpy’s office anymore.”

“That’s not going to happen, sweety … But I’m really more concerned about you.  The days of going on vacations or laying around the apartment have to end.  I seriously think you need to be put on a new regimen.”

“What do you mean, Mom?”

Sammantha exhaled.  “I think it’s time for you to go to school.”