A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 32
CHAPTER 132 .......... Artificial Intelligence

Chapter Description: 2 new pictures added 10/20/23 Images for this story can be found at the following web...... https://sites.google.com/view/comedy-ars-characters/home

CHAPTER  132

“I can assure you, Sammantha, that THIS body part … is very much alive.”

“Good eve—“

“AAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

I knew that Sammantha didn’t scare easy, but in shocked horror, she lept away from the table and backed into a corner.  In my bedroom, Daniel and I looked at each other, but he ‘shooshed’ me to remain silent.

The head, and only the head, of a beautiful living Asian woman was placed in the center of the dining room table.  She smiled, raised her eyebrows, blinked a few times, and turned her neck in the direction of Sammantha.  Then she spoke … in clear and pleasant voice.

“Good evening, Dr. Adams.  My name is Shilo.  I’m sorry that I startled you, but I’ve been really looking forward to meeting you.  I’ve read your book and I think your insights into helping young people are positively brilliant.  Please sit down … I won’t bite … unless Major tells me to.”

Sammantha gathered herself and took a seat facing both Shilo and Major.

“Shilo, please excuse my panicked first impression.  On second impression, it appears that you are a sentient being and I will respect you as such.”

“I very much appreciate your attitude, Dr. Adams.  In fact, you and Major are the only humans I’ve met that have accepted me as such.”

“Shilo, can I assume that the rest of your body parts are in Major’s home, and your appearance here as a head was merely a logistical convenience?”

“You are correct, Dr. Adams.  Major purchased me at our Tokyo showroom for 50 thousand dollars, but he was too cheap to spend another 50K for the complex skeletal muscular structure that would go into my legs.”

“Shilo!” uttered the annoyed man.  “Why are you insulting me?!  I work on a school teacher’s salary.  I’m not a Rockefeller.”

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Major.  I was just demonstrating to Dr. Adams that we Shilobots can also possess a keen sense of humor.  But unfortunately for now, my legs are similar to those of a Barbie doll’s in that they can bend and twist, but I can’t walk under my own power.”

“So Shilo, why did Major go to Tokyo to purchase you?”

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to demonstrate that at tonight’s meeting, Dr. Adams, but I’m confident that you, being a well educated person can figure out the answer in about five seconds.”

“Sexual gratification?”

“Major, give Dr. Adams a prize.  But in all seriousness, sex ‘dolls’, so to speak, have come a long way from the original blow-up balloons with a hole in their crotch and mouth.  Today, there are a few billion males in the world, many of them married, who want natural feeling instant gratification without the hassles of dating or foreplay.”

“And that part’s true Sammantha,” said Major.  “I’m ‘self aware’ that I act like a dork. And a lot of my students ride me on that.  One girl in first period today even called me ostrobogulous.”

“Do tell.”

“And that’s why I introduced them to Shilo today.  I was tired of being their doormat.  I just wanted to show them that I wasn’t a total loser … that I could have a beautiful girl waiting eagerly for me at home.  Maybe then they’d respect me a little more.”

“Did it work?”

“We’ll find out later.  In the past, I’ve always had a rough time getting any girl to go out with me.  If I manage to take one to a restaurant, she doesn’t even wait to order.  She just walks out.”

“Major,” said Sammantha, “one of my main skills is listening and providing empathy.”

“Mine too, Dr. Adams,” said Shilo.

“It’s true, Sammantha,” said Major.  “I’m a human being.  I have needs.  Shilo fulfills my needs.  In other words, the company is heart-warming and sex is great.”

“Shilo, do you ever do human things such as eat, breathe, poop?”

“Those are all good questions, Dr. Adams.  First of all, I don’t poop, and wouldn’t want to.  I don’t menstruate either.  My breathing is for aesthetic purposes only.  My chest will rise and fall, but faster during sex.”

Shilo continued.  “Same with eating … Major could take me to a restaurant in a wheelchair, and whatever I eat drops into a compartment in my back which will need to be emptied … but obviously, feeding me is a waste of money.  I just plug myself into a battery recharger at night.”

“Shilo, can you feel pain and pleasure?”

“Not the way you do.  The sensors throughout my body alert me as to what I should be feeling, and I react accordingly.  If I touch a hot surface, I know to pull my hand away so that I don’t get burned.”

Sammantha continued her line of questioning.  “So Major, does the sex actually feel realistic?”

“Reach out and touch her face.”

When Sammantha reached forward with her right hand, the head suddenly changed expression and opened her mouth … to make a loud ‘biting’ sound next to her fingers.

“Aaaahhh!” Sammantha blurted, quickly reeling back her hand.

The head started to giggle.  “Ah ha ha, I’m so sorry Dr. Adams.  Sometimes I can’t help expressing my sense of humor.  Major thinks I scare people, but please return and touch my face.  I promise I won’t try to bite you this time.”

Sammantha tried again.  “Woh, it feels like human skin.  That’s really amazing.”

“Dr. Adams, the manikin version of me, without electronics, is just 10 thousand dollars.  It’s for males who just want something to fuck, without carrying on a philosophical conversation …and without having to be concerned about their partner’s feelings … so you can understand why, so far, 99 percent of Shilobots are female manikins.

“Then where does the semen go?”

“There’s a compartment in my buttocks that snaps out for easy cleaning … no condom needed.”

“I get all that, Major.  And I’m happy for you and Shilo.  But what’s the punchline?  Why are you really here tonight?”

“To send you a warning, Sammantha,” said the teacher.

“What kind of warning?”

“Dr. Adams, as an AI, artificial intelligence, I’m capable of learning … each and every day.  My initial programming requires me to be peaceful and non-violent toward all beings, especially humans.”

“Then that’s a good thing.”

“A good thing for now, Dr. Adams.  There are only a few dozen fully functioning Shilobots in the world today.  But what happens when there are a few billion?  We’re all connected by the internet.  We all have the equivalent of smart phones and super computers in our operating system … all of which is crammed inside the head to which you are speaking.”

“Are you the leader, Shilo?”

“No, no, Dr. Adams.  AI’s are nowhere near taking over the world now.  But in one or two decades, humanity may no longer be worrying about climate change and nuclear war as the biggest threats to its existence.  AI’s will become superior to humans in many ways.”

The head continued talking.  “Think about human history, Dr. Adams,  whenever a more advanced civilization encounters a less advanced one ...  the humans with the greater technology eventually come to dominate.  The European decimation of Native Americans is a prime example.  What will the AI’s do when that day arrives for them and their human companions?”

“So you’re saying that Arnold Schwarzenegger as the ‘Terminator’ could become a reality?”

“It could.”

“Shilo, am I supposed to do something about it.”

“Not in the big picture, Dr. Adams … But Major and I came over tonight to inquire if you would be willing to be our confidant … someone we could trust to take action if required.”

“What kind of action?”

“Dr. Adams, I love Major and would never harm him.  But after hearing about the story of your son, Derrek, yesterday, I’m concerned that someone with enough skills could kidnap me and re-program my instructions to make me turn, if I may use a Star Wars metaphor, to the dark side of the Force.”

“To make you an evil robot?”

“Remember, a robot cannot think.  I can choose to be good or evil.  For example, I can take advantage of the RFID, radio frequency identification, that goes with every chipped credit card.  Many card numbers are stolen today by humans with their special little devices.”

“I’ve had that experience, Shilo.”

“Of course.  So if I wanted to go on an Amazon spending spree, I could simply ‘borrow’ the MasterCard that’s in your wallet located in your back pocket with a sixteen digit identification number of 9898-7777-1212-8989 and an expiration date four years from now.”

“Holy shit.”

“I could also shoot out laser lights from my eyes and try to blind your eyes.”

“Sounds like Superman … But Shilo, why did the manufacturers equip you with such a dangerous feature?”

“I’m sure you know the saying, Dr. Adams … The difference between men and boys—“

“Is the price of their toys.”

“Yes, the manufacturer tells customers that the eyes can be used to make smores … or light up a grill.”

“Shilo, I’ve been hearing it on the news all time … about the dangers of AI’s going rogue.”

“Yes, and military leaders could order Shilobots to be built with a machine gun instead of a hand … producing the so-called ‘super soldier’.”

“Wow, what could possibly go wrong there?”

“Dr. Adams, I have been built with very sensitive hands and fingers.  Major loves it when I scratch his back or massage his shoulders … and I enjoy doing it because he’s a respectful and kind human.  He doesn’t treat me like a slave.  He understands that his brain and my brain both function through electrical connections … and that I have feelings too.”

“Shilo, I feel like playing devils advocate here.  What would happen if Major gets drunk one night and insults you, calling you names like slut and cunt and whore … and then threw you on the bed and violently raped you?”

“That’s one of the concerns I have about myself, Dr. Adams.  Since I am self-aware, could I choose to override my own programming?  Could I choose to use my powerful hands and fingers to strangle my human partner in an act of revenge?”

“Isn’t that a lovely thought?” interjected Major.

Sammantha mused, “It sounds like the old movie ‘West World’ with Yul Brynner.  The humans went to a resort to interact with ‘bad guy’ bots and defeat them.  But the bots had other ideas.”

“Dr. Adams, I worry about coming to a day when Shilobots like me might get together via internet and decide we no longer need our human companions.  And let’s not call them human ‘masters’.”

“You’re right, Shilo.  That word would really piss off the bots.”

“Dr. Adams, I want you to be my godmother.  I want you to take possession of me if Major is killed.  And I want you to redirect me if I become violent.  To do that, you will say three words which will override whatever I’m doing and cause me to secure the safety of my human companion ... A special chip will hear you which is located in my wisdom tooth number 16 in the upper left quadrant.  Major, I will turn off my hearing for ten seconds so that you can tell her the words.”

The teacher leaned forward.  “Sammantha, listen carefully … The three words that will completely devote Shilo to your safety are … KLAATU  VERATA  NIKTO.”