“So how does it feel to be a baby, Derrek?” she asked, while continuing to rub powder in my genitals.
“It sucks,” I answered her in my toy voice.
“’Cause it’s no fun being the smallest person in the room.”
She looked straight down at me. “I’ve got news for you, Derrek. You were still the smallest person in the room when you were ten. It’s also probably no fun having the smallest penis in the room either. Your penis is smaller than my clitoris. But I don’t feel sorry for you at all. You talk like such a smartass sometimes, you deserve to be a baby. You’re pathetic. You take no responsibility. You can’t feed yourself, you can’t dress yourself. All you do is eat the food, wet your bed, and poop your diaper. Derrek, as a baby you disgust me. I can’t believe I allowed you to have sex with me.”
With tears streaming down my cheeks, I replied in my tiny voice, “Sorry, Mommy.”
“No, you’re not sorry, Derrek. If you were really sorry, you would have taken the eight swats and be done with it … instead of making me do all this work. You’re the one who wanted to be a baby. Are you happy with your decision, baby? I can rub powder on your dick all night long if I feel like it, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You want to try to stop me?”
I whimpered, “I can’t.”
“And the reason you can’t is because you should be careful what you wish for. More than anything else, you wished to be a baby. So you should be happy now. Your penis isn’t small. It’s ‘fun size’. And you were still the weakest person in the room even when you were 28.”
She didn’t have to add the last part, even if it were true.
“Are you scared?”
(She was making me scared) “It just feels … I’m afraid to think that right now, even a four-year-old could beat me up.”
“Try three … but god, you’re cute. It’s your one redeeming quality. You’re like a tiny miniaturized version of big Derrek … and you still like to pop a boner like big Derrek too.”
I tried to move her hands away, unsuccessfully. “Hee hee, stop it, Mommy.”
“You’re tickling the head of my penis on purpose.”
“I’m using my fingernails. They do tickle, don’t they? Come on … If you want me to stop, then just push my hands away.”
I tried with two hands, but I couldn’t budge her hand away even a millimeter.
She wouldn’t stop it. My little body was squirming all over. “Hee hee eeeeeeeeee … Please stop it, Mommy!” I squeaked.
She finally relented. “Does it bother you to be helpless? Does it bother you to have such a tiny penis now?”
“I don’t think that’s a fair question to ask a baby.”
“Perhaps not. But don’t be so proud. Adult Derrek’s penis wasn’t much bigger than yours. Do you think we should measure yours now while you still have a boner?
“How tall can we make it?”
I couldn’t believe what Sammantha did next. She grabbed the full length of my member and lifted upward.
I screamed, “No, Mommy! No, Mommy! That hurts!”
She sneered, “Do you think that having one of these makes you better than me, Derrek?”
“No, Mommy! It doesn’t!” I thought that any second now, either my body would lift off the bed, or my penis would detach.
“The truth is, Derrek, that I should have been the one born with a penis, not you.”
She finally released my organ. “By the way, you’re an inch and a half … pretty pathetic if you’re trying to get a date. Your only chance of getting laid would be to crawl up a chicken’s butt and wait. Can you turn over now so Mommy can put some Vaseline on your butt hole … ah, there you go … Doesn’t that feel good?”
“My thingy still hurts.” I whimpered.
“Thingy? That’s cute. But how does the Vaseline feel?”
“How many times do you have to stick your finger up my rectum?”
“Just a few dozen more … be patient. We have to be thorough … I just can’t get over what a ridiculously cute looking baby boy you are … all that head hair … soft, smooth, perfectly rounded little buttocks … Naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty…”
“Mommy, now what are you doing?”
“I’m practicing spanking your cute little butt … but just patting it.”
“Not too hard, okay?”
“Not too hard if you behave … You’re little body is so fun to play with.”
Samantha took out her cell phone and started snapping pictures of the naked baby. “I want to have a remembrance of you at every age. Are you sure you wouldn’t want to stay a baby for a few more days?”
“You said I could grow back up on my own.”
“Well, you wouldn’t be an infant … You could role play as a two-year-old. That’s about where you are now … Tell me how this feels, sweety.”
“Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh … what was that? … It feels good.”
“I’m raking my fingernails down your back from your shoulders to your butt. Wouldn’t it be great if we did that every day?”
“But, Mommy, you could do that to me no matter what age I am. I really want to grow back up and you’ve never lied to me.”
“Well, the first forty years of childhood are always the hardest.”
“Never mind. It’s true, I won’t lie to you … Anyway, it’s time for your baby badge of honor. What brand of diaper should I slap on your butt tonight … Huggies or Pampers?”
“I don’t really care.”
“Derrek, part of your punishment is that you have to participate in being a baby. So when I ask you to make a decision, you need to answer me … And ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I don’t care’ is not an answer.”
“I’d like the Huggies, please.”
“Turn back over and lift your legs up.”
I did as instructed, and Sammantha slid the diaper under my butt … but she still wasn’t satisfied. “You need a little more powder.”
“But Mommy, you already—“
“Suck your thumb, baby,” she interrupted.
“Ah!” she corrected, while using her left hand to grab my right hand and guide it to my mouth. “Suck it,” she repeated.
I had no choice but to allow her to push my thumb into my mouth. Could I possibly look any more undignified?
“Derrek, you’re not co-operating. Your thumb is just sitting in your mouth. Sucking is the most natural instinct of every baby. Now if you don’t want to make me angry again then start sucking.”
This was so … so … humiliating. I started sucking really hard and made noises with it so she would hear me.
“Another good reason why you should suck your thumb is because your baby talk is really irritating to adults and this is a great way to shut you up.”
There was no question that this was an extension of my punishment, just another way to exercise dominance and humiliate me in my current state as a sub two-year-old. She rubbed my penis and balls with powder again for at least five more minutes. Then she taped up the tabs and put me in some toddler PJ’s we had picked up at Goodwill … all while I continued to suck heartily on my thumb.
“Derrek, you did a really nice job putting your own crib together. Looks good, nice and sturdy. You made your bed and now you can lie in it.”
(I don’t think she meant that in a nice way.)
Being placed in a crib was a difficult moment for me. I felt like I was being kept as a pet. How did I let myself get here? I used to be big Derrek. I started to cry, but managed to pull my thumb out and gurgle, “Mommy, may I please have bunny rabbit?”
“Sure, sweety … here you go.”
Even bunny rabbit was a bit scary. He was now nearly as big as me. Sammantha tucked me in and placed a pillow under my head.
“Sweet dreams, sweety.”
She kissed my forehead and put my thumb back in my mouth before walking away. She waited in the doorway until she could hear me sucking. Then she left.
I thought about being angry at Sammantha for all the ways she abused me tonight, but one of the things she said gave me a clue as to the cause of her bizarre behavior. She said ‘I should have been the one born with a penis’. I remembered her story when she revealed that she felt that she was a boy trapped in a girl’s body, so she grew up hating all boys because they verbally abused her, especially when she got her period. She must have been having a flashback tonight and took out her anger on a person who was born with a penis, which unfortunately tonight happened to be me.
I hoped that she had gotten all her anger out tonight and would be a nicer person in the morning, even if I had a loaded diaper. Perhaps she was also worried about her gort canker and I really wish she would explain that to me one day soon.