A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 8
CHAPTER 108 .......... Confessions of a Middle Schooler

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CHAPTER  108

“Norton Bimbo spanked you?!”

Before I could correct her notion, Sammantha made a mad dash to her bedroom and dashed back wielding her 17 inch fishing knife.

“Stay home till I get back,” she ordered me.

I took off down the hallway after Sammantha and spread my arms blocking the elevator doors.  “It wasn’t Coach Bimbo,” I said loudly.

“Then who did this to you, Derrek?”

“It was my Spanish teacher, Senorita Gato … and she weighs less than I do.”

“You were spanked in Spanish?” she inquired.  “You mean like uno, dos, tres?”

“It was a lot more than tres, Mom.”

Sammantha shook her head.  “We need to hash this out.  Let’s go back to the apartment.”

Back in the living room she pointed to her lap, obviously indicating I should ‘assume the position’ again.

“Senorita Gato put me on her lap like this too … except I was naked.”

“Sweety, it’s hard for me to believe that you could have been molested by a teacher at Jerry Sandusky Middle School.  It sounds like this was all your idea.  And were there any witnesses?”

I was straddled over Sammantha’s legs.  “No, Mom.  She ordered me to lock the classroom door.  And I swear to god I didn’t want this to happen.”

“Then why did you let it happen, Derrek?  You have the mind of an adult.  Why didn’t you just leave?”

I started to squirm.  “It’s complicated, Mom.  Detention started out as a Spanish lesson where I was reading cards, and the next card said it was getting caliente in the room, or very hot … so she told me in Spanish to take off my camisa, my shirt.”

Sammantha snorted, “Don’t act so innocent, Derrek.”

“But then she accused me of getting a gallo, a boner, when I looked at her back in second period Spanish class.”

“Was that true?”

“Well, yeah, I guess.  But Mom, I can’t help it.  She’s really cute.  She looks like a high school girl … almost like Kitti Power only with brown hair.”

“Go on.”

“Well, she tricked me.  I was reading my Spanish lines off those 3x5 note cards and on the next card I read in Spanish that, because of the boner, I was a nino travieso, a naughty boy and that I deserved an azotaina, a spanking.”

“Really?”

“Mom, I swear there’s was no way that I wanted that to happen.  I was scared. I was shaking.  So when she unbuckled me and pulled my pants down, I was like a deer in the headlights … and I started to cry.  At that point, I didn’t have an adult mind.  I was a naughty child about to get spanked by my teacher.  It was very embarrassing.”

“And what did she do after that?”

“After she spanked me, Senorita Gato placed me on her lap like I am now with you and she told me to read the next card which said in Spanish, ‘I want to caress your pechos bonita, your beautiful breasts’ … and then she unbuttoned her shirt and took off her bra.”

“I see,” Sammantha said smugly.  “And how would you rate your Spanish teacher’s boobs, Derrek?”

My face started to turn red again.  “Well, they were petite, but very nicely shaped with small nipples and areolas.”

“And did you caress them?”

“Yes.”

“And how did your teacher respond to that?”

“Umm … Well, in the interests of honesty and transparency … she jacked me off … and then told me to get dressed and go to football practice.”

“So tell me, Derrek … In the interests of honesty and transparency, would you like her to do it to you again?”

“Oh, no, Mom … absolutely not.  That’s not why I’m going to school.”

“Would you like to tell the authorities what happened?”

“I really don’t.  Senorita Gato is very nice and I don’t want her to lose her job.”

“I see.  Derrek, do you carry your folding smart phone in your pocket?”

“Yeah, I’m the only student allowed to carry a phone ... for emergencies.”

“Well next time this Senorita Gato tries hitting on you, put the home phone button on speaker so I can listen in … and if it goes too far, let me talk to her, okay?”

“Sure, Mom, that’s a good idea.”

“So why did you get these detentions in the first place?”

“With Spanish, I walked in after the bell had already rung.  In English class, I got a raw deal.  Randy Pantz, who’s a teammate, and also the class clown of the seventh grade, was sitting next to me and copied my quiz answers.  So the teacher, Mrs. Bullutis, blamed both of us and we have to serve detention on Thursday … when there’s no football practice. 

“Randy calls her Two-ton Tina Galento, obviously for her size … but I have this vague memory that I’ve seen her before.  I just can’t place it right now.”

“Well, football and girls were what I worried most for you.  Girls first … go.”

“Okay, well the two skanks were there as expected, Starline and Duchess.  They pierced your ear when you visited them as a boy at the elementary school.”

“And did they ask you why your ear stud was missing?”

“I just told them that my strict mom made me remove it.  Mom, I don’t wear bling.”

“Did they try to hit on you again?”

“They crowned me ‘cutest boy in school’ but I don’t go for that crap.  I said they both need glasses.  You understand why I hate them, Mom … but I should have listened to you when you told me ‘Don’t be a school policeman’.”

“What’d you do?”

“Well, those same two skanks were picking on another girl, and I just made the suggestion that ‘You shouldn’t be mean, girls … and I told the other girl ‘Keep your spirits up.”

“Why would you regret doing that?”

“Cuz the picked-on girl thinks I’m her hero now and wants me to be her boyfriend, and I had to give her the whole spiel about why I’m not allowed to have any girl friends.  So now she absolutely insists that I have to let her make it up to me by coming over for dinner with her and her mom.  And I hope that if I do, then that would be the end of it.  I don’t need any groupies.”

“So you’re willing to do it?  Did you want me to drive you over there?”

“If you would, please … Maybe tomorrow at 6 pm.

“Okay, but I want to lay down the law, maybe scare her off.  You tell her that she and her mom have to drive you back here and come upstairs to the apartment so I can meet them.  What’s this girl’s name?”

“Sally Sukkemsilli and she’s really needy.  I made a big mistake.”

“It’s that good heart of yours, sweety.  You can’t help being a nice person.  But you had to have met more than three girls.”

“Mom, I’m embarrassed to say that I have a schoolboy crush on the girl who sits next to me in most of my classes … Madeline Dazilme … She’s so ‘girl-next-door’.  She’s so sweet and pretty and so ‘un-stuck-up’ … the complete opposite of the two skanks.  And she even talks to me like a regular person.”

“Sweety, do you think that’s going to be a problem for you?”

“I think it will be okay if she and I are just platonic friends, but I’ll need to exercise a lot of discipline to keep my hands away and not mention any affectionate words.”

“Are you up to the task?”

“I better be.  Any middle school romance will end in disaster.  But Mom, do you think it would be okay if I just fantasized about Madeline when I jack off?”

“Don’t tell her if you do that.  But I would have guessed that you would be fantasizing about Senorita Gato.”

“No, my child-sized penis thought that was a nightmare … Anyway, the last girl is Hoshiko Aoki, a Japanese exchange student and my Biology Lab partner.  Adams and Aoki are always the first two names on the seating charts.  She’s a serious student, but very pleasant, very proper.”

“How did she end up as your lab partner?”

“Well, I really wanted Madeline, but Hoshiko asked me first.  She’s new to the United States and I rejected her at her lunch table and I knew that if I rejected her again, it would have emotionally destroyed her, and I couldn’t do that.  She’s really smart too.”

“See, sweety?  You are a nice person.”

“And she really liked when I spoke a few Japaneese words.  I don’t think she’s looking for a boyfriend … just a friend.

“So moving on to football, how did that go?”

“It’s a small team, only 15 players.  I met most of my teammates at lunch, and Putz Goldfarb was one of them.”

“Oh? … And did he greet you with ‘Hi Precious’?”

“Thankfully no, but the other guys couldn’t wait to tell me the story about Precious having a penis.”

“Sounds like Putz likes to brag.”

“Yeah, and I asked him when he’s gonna ask Precious out for a second date.  That got everyone laughing.  Mom, I think maybe you should wear your blonde wig if you come to watch our games … so his dad won’t recognize you.”

“Who else is on the team?”

“I’m not going to go over all of them right now, but I have to say that the captain … everybody calls him ‘X’ … is the best twelve-year-old leader I’ve ever met.  He’s really on my side … especially when I called a team meeting to do my ‘water’ speech.”

“So sounds like your first day of football went well.”

“Actually it was terrible.  Coach Parker swore at me for ariving late, after my detention … and then he swore at me again cuz I didn’t know how to put on my uniform properly.  All I did today was run laps, so I guess for now, I’ll have to dig my way out of the Coach’s doghouse.”

“Hmm, he seemed like such a nice man when we met him in the principal’s office.”

“Maybe, but Randy thinks Coach is going to fight our Geography teacher, Scary Harry, tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“Because Harry made Randy’s fingers bleed in a study hall punishment and Randy couldn’t practice.”

“Sweety, I hate to say it, but it sounds like your school has an awful lot of weird teachers.”

“Oh yeah … And wait till you hear about our Bio Lab instructor, Professor Clinkenbeard.  Today he made all the students examine his penis.