A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 93
CHAPTER 193 .......... Little Buddy Day – Part 5

Chapter Description: 2 new pictures added 4/3/24 Images for this story can be found at the following web...... https://sites.google.com/view/comedy-ars-characters/home

CHAPTER  193

At that moment, the sqauwk box broke in again, interrupting this very awkward class ocurrance.

“Coach Bimbo?”

“Yes, Dr. Glass.”

“Sorry to bother you again, Coach, but could you please send Derrek Adams and his little buddy down to my office now?”

“Sure thing, Dr. Glass.”

Before we left, Norton Bimbo pressed his index finger into the nose of Dorcus.  “Next time, I’ll let go of the second ankle.”

Dorcus sneered back, “Bite me, Bimbo.”

In a surprising move resembling Hannibal Lecter, the coach grabbed the boy’s left arm with two hands and bit down on the skin between the boy’s wrist and elbow.”

“AAAAAggggghhhhh!!” he squealed again.  “Now I’ve got rabies!!”

The coach shook his head and growled at me, “I didn’t even break his skin.  Now get this ‘thing’ out of my classroom.”

In the hallway, I yanked Dorcus’s hand.  “I told you not to piss people off!”

“I had to.  He’s a meanie.”

“You better not talk that way to the principal.”

“Yeah?  Well this school sucks.  The boys suck, the girls suck, the teachers suck, the librarian sucks, the janitor sucks, the food sucks … and you suck more than all of them put together, Derrek.”

“I will be so happy when you get picked up today.”

“And I’ll be happy when you drop dead.”

“AAAAAggggghhhhh!!  Derrek, why do you spank me all the time?”

“Same reason you tried to burn down the school … It’s fun.”

“Hello, Dr. Glass.  Did you want to see us?”

“Yes, the two of you can sit, and close my door please.”

The principal began by addressing the little boy.  “Dorcus, are you having a bad day today?”

“Oh no, Ma’am.  Derrek is the one having a bad day.  This morning, he tried to saw me in half.”

“Really?” she inquired.  “Well, from the looks of things, he didn’t do a very good job.”

“And then he paddled me in Spanish.  He’s a terrible role model.”

“Dorcus, how did Derrek paddle you in Spanish?  Did he say something like ‘El wacko uno … El wacko dos?

“No, he hit me with a big wooden ruler … So my parents are going to sue him and your school too.”

The principal took a deep breath and advised, “You might want to hold off on doing that till we find out how many years you’re going to be spending in ‘kiddie’ jail for trying to burn down our school.”

“Nuh uhh!” the boy empatically exclaimed, shaking his head.  “I never set fire to anything.  You just want to blame the nearest little kid.”

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ‘smoking gun’ and laid it on the prinicapal’s desk.

“Dorcus, why did I find a Bic lighter in your pocket?  I’m sure your fingerprints are still on it.”

The boy scoffed, “That doesn’t prove anything.”

The principal leaned in across her desk.  “I’m afraid the jig is up, Dorcus.  I just had a visit from an eighth grader who was reading a magazine in the same nook and he saw you start the fire.  The librarian also heard you tell Derrek that you were heading back there.”

“I’ve been framed.  You’re just hunting for witches.”

“Well, I’ve already called your parents, and unfortunately, they’re at work right now and can’t come and get you, but your brother will pick you up after school.  In the mean time, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you, Derrek, to watch him through the end of the day.”

“I was hoping I’d get a reprieve, Dr. Glass.”

“I admit it was my fault for matching you up.  I knew that Dorcus had some behavioral issues but I was hoping that you would be the one student in our school best able to deal with this youngster.”

“I would opt for sending him to ‘kiddie’ jail, Dr. Glass, but I’ll do my best.  There are just three periods left.”

“Okay, kids, then just sit and chill in my office till next period.  I don’t want to send you back to Coach Bimbo’s class.  As you know, there was a boy playing in an open window and the coach didn’t even see it.”

When the bell sounded, I grabbed the boy’s wrist and we headed toward Scarry Harry’s Geography class.  No sooner had we taken our seat, that Mr. Torrain walked directly over to us, holding a yard stick, and grabbed the boy’s shirt under his chin.

The teacher did not mince words.  “Dorcus Crudup, I understand that Derrek had to paddle you in Senorita Gato’s class this morning for using bad language.  If I hear one peep out of you in the next 40 minutes, I’m going to crack this yardstick over your ass until it breaks … and then I’m going to take the two pieces and keep wacking you till they break too … Do we have an understanding?”

With wide eyes the boy silently nodded.  This teacher did not earn the name ‘Scarry Harry’ for nothing.  If only I had him for all eight periods, this day would have gone a lot smoother.

I looked over at my friends, and their two charges, Zebulon and Ling Ling, still seemed to be happy as clams.

The instructor’s threat worked perfectly and I had no trouble the the rest of the period.  The bell rang and I then escorted Dorcus to Biology Lab which was, of course, next door. 

But I made a major screw up.  I figured we would take a shortcut and just walk through the science storage room that separated the two classes.  (I yelled at myself … ‘Dumb Dumb Derrek’).  Sure enough, the kid saw the huge tub-ful of penises and it was off to the races.

The boy immediately reached for the two-foot long dead donkey dick (which Goro and Showkat had affectionately named ‘Eeyore’) and broke away from me, going on a tear around the classroom.

The kid ran amuck, popping the end of the big phallus into the faces of most of the girls … and also bopping many of his five-year-old classmates.  Much screaming and squealing engulfed the room … till Professor Clinkenbeard managed to coral the kid in a corner of the room.

The teacher relieved the boy of his vulgar weapon and took a closer look at this face.

He asked him, “Aren’t you the same boy that was playing in Coach Bimbo’s open window upstairs?”

Dorcus complained, “Bimbo was trying to throw me out the window.”

The professor shook his head.  “Can’t that man do anything right?”

Then he handed Dorcus back to me.  “Derrek, I don’t know where you can take this child but I won’t allow him in my classroom.  His behavior is unacceptable.  Remove him now, please.”

In the hallway, I wacked the kid’s butt one more time.  “Shit, Dorcus … You couldn’t behave for just one more period?”

“You’re the one who showed me all the big dicks, Derrek.”

As we neared the office, I asked one of the security guards if I could borrow his handcuffs.  I made sure to tell him, “This is the boy who set the library on fire.  Right now, he needs to be restrained.”

“Just return them to me when you’re done, please,” said the guard.  “Take the keys too.”

I politely knocked on the principals’s door and explained, “Sorry, Dr. Glass.  Professor Clinkenbeard kicked us out of seventh period because Dorcus was running around the classroom hitting everyone with the professor’s penis.”

“Which one?” asked the principal.

“The dead donkey dick named ‘Eeyore’.

“Derrek, I wish the professor would get rid of those things.  They’re not toys.  And what’s with the handcuffs?”

“Because I give up.  Dorcus needs to be restrained so I can go back to class.  I figured I’d attach him to one of your chairs.”

“No, Derrek.  I don’t want to deal with him either.  Cuff him to the steel bed in the nurses’ station.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“This school sucks!” the boy yelled at the principal.

“Derrek, make sure you return after eighth period so you can hand him off to this older brother.”

(I’d be meeting Chikon Crudup again?  Too bad I forgot to bring my three-inch safety pin.)

The school nurse wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of guarding a ‘prisoneer’ but for now, it was our only good option.  I handed her the keys and forced the struggling boy to lie down.  This was followed by the racheting sound of the handcuffs to make sure there would be no escape.

“If you have to pee,” I told him, “go in your pants.  I’m sure the nurse has an extra diaper your size.”

The boy yanked on the cuffs, making a loud racket.  “Fuck you, Derrek.”

I answered, “No, Dorcus … Fuck you.”

I returned to the Biology Lab classroom without my little buddy and I was quite happy about that, but Madeline seemed to have a weird look of concern on her face.  She took out a sheet of notebook paper and began writing on it.  When she finished, she kept glancing back at Hoshiko, waiting for the right moment.

Passing notes in middle school reminded me of why I hated middle school so much the first time around.  The notes other kids passed around often contained disparaging remarks about me.  I was not the ‘popular’ boy.

With Hoshi’s attention focused on Ling Ling, Madeline stretched her right arm out and placed the well-folded note on my desk.  That never would have happened if I had Dorcus on my lap.

I expected the note to contain some lame attempt at humor, but I chose to placate Madeline by reading it anyway.  It turned out to be not what I expected.