I stepped into the hot water and sat down. It felt really good. Sammantha dumped a bucket’s-worth on top of my head to begin my shampoo. The body contractions began immediately. The thousands of tiny pops in all my joints and organs felt weird.
I was 9. (4 foot 5 in, 80 pounds)
She ran her fingernails through my big head of soapy hair. At 9, I still felt human, like not that much had changed. A 9 year knows there’s a whole world out there. It would be nice just to stop here.
I was 8. (4 foot 3 in, 68 pounds)
She scrubbed my back with a washcloth. That felt so good. But I remember how panicked I was the last time I was 8 … and that wasn’t too long ago. Knowing where I was headed, 8 didn’t seem so bad now. I would have been a third grader. Third grade was fun the first time. We liked acting silly. I ran and played hard.
I was 7. (4 foot 1 in, 60 pounds)
I started to notice that my legs weren’t taking up as much room in the tub. I was this size in the second grade. I really started to notice loss of body volume. When I was 7, I was tying to get more independence from my parents. Now it’s going to be less. I actually had real friends, not just a stuffed bunny rabbit. Muscles were getting soft and weaker.
It was a helpless feeling. It was so embarrassing. How could I let Sammantha do this to me?
She tilted my head back and scrubbed my chest and stomach.
I was 6. (3 foot 11 in, 54 pounds)
My hands in front of me were noticeably small now. I felt clumsy and indecisive. I felt fearful of monsters and kidnappers. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. Sammantha pushed my knees against the left and right sides of the tub so she could go in and do a thorough job on my crotch. My boner was much shorter, but it didn’t go down. It was just something people would laugh at now. I was a first grader. Do first graders realize how pathetically small they are? They have zero independence. They have to do whatever their female teacher tells them … like a second mommy.
I was 5. (3 foot 8 in, 48 pounds)
She raised my arms so she could scrub my armpits. My arms just didn’t go up very high. I felt like such a child. Kindergarten really sucks. I would probably wet my bed and my pants. I could be sent to school now to learn my colors and how to count to 10. This was when I thought that if I could stand on one foot and close my eyes, that was a big deal. I remember being tense, irritable, and angry. I didn’t like 5. I had tantrums. I had to spend standing-time-outs in the corner. Older kids never have to do that. My tongue reached up to find no front teeth. My baby teeth were coming back in. This was when I learned that only boys had a penis … but not very big ones. This was when I saw my first adult men’s penises at the public swimming pool and how horribly large and ugly they were.
I was 4. (3 foot 5 in, 42 pounds)
I was a bit scared seeing Sammantha’s hands getting bigger and bigger. I was back to that movie again … ‘Attack of the 50 Foot Woman’ … I’d like to see that movie again sometime when I get ‘older’, so to speak. My body shuddered for a second when I realized that a Kindergartener could now beat me up. I was so pathetic. 4 was when I lived mostly in a make-believe world. I thought cartoon characters were real. I believed in Santa. Nothing made sense at 4. I still slept in a crib, reinforcing my status as a slightly large baby.
She flipped me over on my stomach to scrub my buttocks and put a little soap in my rectum with her finger. She got to the bottoms of my feet while she was at it.
I was 3. (3 foot 3 in, 38 pounds)
In the final rinse, she dumped bucket after bucket of water on top of my head while I closed my eyes.
Being a ‘toddler’ is no badge of honor. Your biggest accomplishment in life is to be potty trained. If not, you wear a diaper and ‘toddle’ around. Spankings became the norm. I was sad now. I used to be a man. I had some dignity, although not a lot. I don’t know how I could have let Sammantha talk me into role play. At this moment it was far beyond role play. She said it would be fun but instead, she emasculated me. Maybe I should have called her bluff and asked for the swats. Would she have done it? Too late now.
I was 2 (2 foot 10 in, 30 pounds)
… or something like that. I never knew for sure what the maximum regression would take me to … maybe one and a half? This was my third time at the max. At least the woman who put the curse on me didn’t send me back to become a sperm and an egg. That would have sucked.
My mind was kind of in a fog at the moment. Sammantha bent down to pick me up, but I said, “No … sit … water … please.” I wasn’t sure if that was my real voice. It sounded like a talking toy, and my tongue couldn’t quite move like I wanted it to.
“You want to sit in the warm water a little longer?” she asked.
“Yes … please.” This was a first for me, well in many years anyway … being able to lay down in a hot water bath. It felt so soothing. I drifted off.”
Sammantha watched me for several minutes and said, “I think you’re ready to come out now, sweety.”
I didn’t object to her picking me up and placing my feet on the bathroom rug. From the way I ended up, I was glad to see that I wasn’t a tiny infant. I looked myself over and realized I had a short, but actual human-looking body. I could stand up and I could talk, a little.
“Mirror … please … Mommy.”
Sammantha lifted me so that I could see my reflection in the medicine cabinet.
“Lots … of … hair,” my toy voice squeaked.
“Yep, that’s your trademark, sweety,” she said with a smile, “a big head of brown hair. It’s official now … You are cute at any age. But I have to say that if you are one and a half now, this is definitely your cutest. You are totally soft, smooth, and hairless … but with a big mane like a lion.”
I knew what was coming next from her.
“ROOAR!!” (She did it into by chest and it made me giggle.)
She set me down and fluffed me with the towel. I should have expected that she’d follow up the roar with raspberries in my belly again. And sure, it made me laugh again, but I soon realized I had nothing to laugh about.
Welcome to hell. Welcome to babyhood. It’s the worst of the worst … diapers, baby wipes, pacifiers. All of the biggest, baddest, meanest men to ever walk the earth were pathetic helpless babies once, just like I was now. It is a traumatizing punishment and makes me wish I had taken the swats.
Sammantha let me walk, and guided my hand across the hall to this enormous bedroom that I hardly recognized. Everything was so big. There was a huge crib on the opposite wall that I had just put together about an hour ago. It couldn’t be the same one, could it? It looked as big as a house. For some reason, she walked me over to my clothes closet. Then she picked me up.
“What are we doing, Mommy?” I asked softly.
“Oh, it’s nothing bad, sweety. I was just wondering if an 18 month old baby boy could get a coregasm. You’ve already got a tiny prostate.”
“Do you want me to try it, Mommy?”
“If you’re willing.”
“Okay, but can we make a deal?”
“If I try the coregasm, can you not make me wear a diaper when I’m eight or nine?”
“You wet the bed when you were eight. You would still have to wear pull-up pants. Don’t you want to wear diapers?”
“Mommy, I think I can control my peeing when I’m awake … and if you wake me during the night to go pee … then I might not need to wear diapers at all.”
“Derrek, I’m only going to tell you this one time. I am going to slap a diaper on your butt before bedtime. And if you wake me up to go potty, I am going to be one seriously pissed off mommy. If you’re a baby … and you’re wearing a diaper … use it. One spank with the hand will be your price if you wake me during the night. Are we clear on that?”
I sighed. “Yes, Mommy.”
“Did you forget that diapers are part of your punishment? Do you still want to do the deal?”
(I guess pull-up pants were better than diapers … and I was curious myself to see if a baby could ejaculate.) “Okay, I’ll try it.”
Sammantha lifted me higher and placed my hands on the cylindrical hanger rod. One thing that toddlers do have is a strong grip. I raised my thighs to a 90 degree angle and I could feel the straining of my tiny core muscles. To my surprise, the tingly sensations prior to ejaculation began to build, just as they had in the gym. And in about a minute, I started saying ‘no, no, no, no, no’ and experienced a dry ejaculation. It felt really good. Waves of pleasure radiated through my tiny body, just like always.
Sammantha was impressed. “Wow, sweety … I think you just made medical history.”
Despite that success, she laid me down, face up, on my regular bed and I suddenly realized, this is where my punishment starts. I was thinking that maybe if I hadn’t wet the bed when I was eight, then maybe she wouldn’t have had to put a diaper on me now.
Powder first … and oh, was she enjoying rubbing that powder all over my penis and balls. I gritted my baby teeth. You know it really wasn’t necessary for her to keep rubbing me there for what seemed like forever … just to humiliate me and give me a boner. I could feel my face turning red with embarrassment.
“So how does it feel to be a baby, Derrek?” she asked, while continuing to rub powder in my genitals.
“It sucks,” I answered her in my toy voice.
“’Cause it’s no fun being the smallest person in the room.”