A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 10
CHAPTER 110 .......... Day Two … I Hope it’s Better Than Day One

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CHAPTER  110

I slept ten hours … which was not a surprise because day ‘one’ completely exhausted me.  I’ve always heard that most students don’t get enough rest.  The good part was that I got to spend those ten hours curled up in the arms of a nude Amazon … just like in the painting by Guayasamin.  I felt so safe and content.  Intermittently throughout the night, I could feel her caressing various parts of my child’s body.

Though I did not want to wake up, I hoped that the challenges of coming school day would be more manageable than the first.  Some actions became routine … getting dressed, eating breakfast, waving Sammantha goodbye, and riding to school with Big-O, though we didn’t talk much.

“What did she say?” Sally anxiously asked me in homeroom.

“She said okay.”

“Great!”

“Sally, my mom said she’ll drop me off at 6 pm tonight.  But she wants to meet you and your mom when you drive me back.  You’ll need to come up to our apartment.”

“Sure, Derrek, not a problem.”

Sally then gave me one of those not-so-subtle fake kisses where she kisses her index finger and then touches my cheek.  She’s making herself very clingy, and I don’t want any groupies.  Tonight has to be the end of it.

I turned around and greeted my Bio lab partner, “Ohio Gozimazu.”  (Good morning, with respect.)

Hoshiko replied, “New York Gozimazu.”

“Ahhhhhhh … you remembered the joke!”

“Yes, thank you for telling me this humor, Darakatoms.”

A new voice cut in.  “So did you guys survive your first day of middle school?”

It was Madeline.  Unbelievably, she was talking to me again, like we were both normal people.  Well actually, from her pronoun ‘you guys’, she was referrinig to both Hoshiko and me.”

Hoshiko answered, “I’ve heard this expression ‘culture shock’ and that is what I am working on now to overcome.  The first day was not so easy for me.”

“Well, you and Derrek did a great job with your dolphin in the Bio lab.”

“As did you and Doll with your tiger.”

(I noted that the girls did not mention the word ‘penis’, so I wouldn’t either.)

“What about you, Derrek?” Madeline asked.  “How’d you make out with football practice?”

“If the coach doesn’t swear at me today as much as he did yesterday, then I’ll consider it progress.  My goal is still learning how to put on my uniform.”

“So you made the team?”

“This team has only 15 living, breathing bodies.  Anyone who’s willing to step on the field and get pummeled is welcome.”

“Ha, same with cheerleading … a small squad,” she replied cheerfully.

I added, “Good, then we’ll see each other on Fridays.”

I hoped that Madeline wouldn’t think that I was being too forward suggesting that we would be ‘together’ on Friday.  I didn’t want her to look at me as ‘clingy’ … the way I thought of Sally.  We would just be on our respective teams.  But I’m sure she would be horrified if she knew that I fantasized about getting her naked … and doing all sorts of immoral things with her body.  But she was only twelve … so it had to remain my most desperate fantasy.

Day two settled down a bit.  The first five periods almost felt like normal school days that I remembered back from the first time I went to middle school.  I was no longer the center of attention in every class.  And Randy even cut back on his pranks, having set the world record on day one with Mr. Victum.

Norton Bimbo didn’t single me out today, and thankfully, neither did Senorita Gato.  That was a relief, and I made sure to arrive on time.  She didn’t give me any winks, or raised eyebrows … just taught the class as if nothing had happened.

Sometimes if I feel like it, I can have selective hearing … so at lunch, even though I was sitting with the team again, I could vaguely hear a conversation taking place several tables over where Hoshiko was, again, sitting alone.

To my surprise, Madeline Dazilme passed up the girls’ table she was at yesterday and addressed my bio lab partner directly.

“Hi Hoshiko, would it be okay if I sit with you at lunch?”

Because of me, Hoshiko was now suspicious.  “Do you actually want to sit with me, or will you turn around and go back to your clique as Darakatoms did yesterday with the bad boys.  Maybe that is your culture?”

Madeline set her tray down took a seat.  “Don’t worry about your lab partner, Hoshiko.  He’s expected to sit with his teammates.  They’re not really bad boys, just goofy.”

“Oh yes … I know Goofy from Disneyland in Tokyo.  That is a good word for those boys.  But you said they were teammates?  For sports?”

“Yes, they’re on the football team.”

“Ahh, so Darakatoms was not meaning to be rude to me.  That is good to know.”

But I also had an interesting exchange at the lunch table with Goro.

(Goro)  “So how was your detention with the soft pussy yesterday?”

(Derrek) “Other than missing most of football practice, it went fine.”

(Goro) “Hey, amigo … What you say is toro caca.  Everyone knows you’ve got the hots for Senorita Gato and we know she thinks you’re an amorcito (little love).  So why don’t you tell your teammates what really happened.

(Derrek)  “Nothing happened.”

(Goro)  “Hey Batty, you want to tell Derrek about his culo?

(Batty) “When you were washing with ginger ale at your locker, I walked by and your ass was fire engine red.  Would you care to explain that?”

(Derrek) “I tripped and fell on the track when I was running laps.”

When Goro pounded his fist on the table and yelled ‘Toro caca!’, the rest of team joined in.

“Toro caca!  Toro caca!  Toro caca!”

I smiled and returned to eating my lunch.  That was the most excitement I encountered for the morning.

Then there was sixth period Geography.  It started out routinely enough with a review of the oceans and Earth’s largest lakes.  Scary Harry Torrain looked at the six band aids on Randy’s fingers, but walked away without saying a word.

About ten minutes into the period, there was a rap on the door and in walked my football coach, Mr. Icy Parker.  Randy said they might fight today, but he just likes to talk big.  There was no way that two adult teachers would engage in fisticuffs, especially in front of us impressionable young children.

“Good afternoon, Coach Parker,” said Harry.  “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

The coach approached Harry near his desk and said gruffly, “There will be no pleasure in this visit, Mr. Torrain.  Do you see that boy with his hands taped up?  I want to know why you would deliberately injure one of my players.

Scary Harry didn’t back down.  He removed his glasses and set them on his desk.  Then he walked forward and met the coach in the front and center of the classroom.  I noticed that he still had a yardstick gripped tightly in his right hand. 

Harry pointed it at Randy, saying, “That boy is a trouble-maker and he deserved the full measure of his punishment.”

The coach’s voice grew louder. “Mr. Torrain, corporal punishment is illegal in the state of New York.”

“Well, I’m not a corporal!”  Harry yelled back.  “I’m a teacher and I conduct MY classes MY way!”

Coach Parker pointed his index finger in Harry’s face and his voice grew ever louder.  “Your way is hurting my team!   I’ve only got 15 boys to send out there on Friday, and I need every one of them.”

Harry scoffed, “That boy will probably be fine.”

All of the students in Geography class were mesmerized by the heated confrontation of the two faculty members and we wondered how far it would go.

The coach bellowed, “If any boy can’t play because of you, there’s going to be hell to pay, Harry! … I’m telling you … hell to pay!”

As he said that, Coach Parker made the first physical affront, poking his index finger into Harry’s chest several times.  This was certain to raise the ‘temperature’ in the room, as most of the kids already knew that Scary Harry had a short fuse.

“Why wait?” Harry retorted.  “Let’s pay it now.”

With that last remark, our Geography instructor, Mr. Harry Torrain, lifted his yardstick high and smashed it over the coach’s head, breaking the wooden weapon into shards.  The football coach, staggered backward for a moment as a lot of kids screamed.

I figured that would only make my coach angrier.  He was a big guy and a former football player himself.  When he regained his composure, he set his feet and charged the older man.

But Harry surprised us all when he showed us what a slick operator he was.  He dodged the coach’s charge like a matador and used the coach’s own momentum to shove him into the gap of the nearest open window.  Then he bent the ‘elbow’ brace of the window so that the window itself trapped Coach Parker’s head … and Harry pressed down on it really hard.

Hoshiko tapped my shoulder.  “Darakatoms, is this part of our Geography lesson?  Are the teachers acting?”

“I know that these two men don’t like each other.”

“Oh, I see,” said Hoshiko.  “So they are acting out their anger.  I have never seen a lesson like this in Japan.  I will take notes in case there is a quiz.”

With a free hand, Coach Parker tried punching Harry’s abdomen enough times till he backed away from the window, allowing the coach to extract himself.  He turned around and charged Harry again, not realizing that his foe had picked up another yardstick which he once again, smashed over the coach’s head and broke it.

But again, that wasn’t nearly enough to slow down a man as tough as Coach Parker.  When the coach rushed towards him again, Harry picked up a large world globe used for Geography lessons, raised it high in the air, and brought it down with authority, smashing the coach’s head again, and leaving a sizeable dent in South America.

As I suspected, all of this offense only served to turn Coach Parker into a raging bull.  He charged the older teacher, grabbing him around the waist and shoving him all the way across the front of the classroom, and hard into the side wall that was only three feet from my desk.  They were practically in my lap.