A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 71
Freaky Friday (17) – So Many Questions

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Paul brought the three ‘kids’ back to his house.  All of us were supposed to be adults but it was not the case here.

“Dad,” said Sam, “I want Derrek to sleep with me in my old room upstairs.  She’s scared.  She needs someone with her.”

Paul agreed.  “That’s fine.  Put some large pads on top of your sheet.  I’m not trying to demean you two, but I don’t know who’s a bed wetter … And Daniel, there’s another empty bedroom up there for you.”

“Thanks, Paul.”

I’ve noticed that with the water curse, I’ve always retained my adult brain and memories.  But maturity wise, Sammantha and I have both had a tendency to act our age regardless of what it was at the moment.  And so now I felt ‘infantilized’ to some degree as I occupied the body of a scared little four-year-old girl.

Sam’s bed was a ‘full size’ and there was plenty of room for two children.  He wrapped a bath towel around me so I wasn’t totally naked, and then he tucked me in, a few inches away.

He turned out the lights and said, “Goodnight, Derrek,” and kissed me on my forehead, but I was far from ready to go to sleep.

I guess I couldn’t blame him for not calling a four-year-old girl ‘Mom’.  I spoke in my squeaky voice, “Sammy?”

“Yeah?” he answered quietly.

“Do you think we’ll ever switch back to our real bodies?”

“I don’t know, Derrek … But either way, we’ll be okay as long as we stay together.”

“Sammny?”

“Yeah?”

“Since I’m a little girl now, do you think I should dress up like Precious again?”

“Well, I have to admit, Derrek, that you did look super cute when you were Precious.”

“Yeah, my legs felt so ‘airy’ … and I won’t have to tape back my penis this time.  Do you think your dad can take us to Goodwill to get some dresses for me tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“And some panties too, but I won’t need a bra.  That’s for big girls.”

“Sure.”

“Sammy?”

The boy seemed slightly annoyed now.  “Derrek, are you at that age where kids keep asking questions incessantly?”

“I think so.  I was just wondering if your dad could take us to the zoo tomorrow.  I’d like to go back to the stage like I did when I was a four year old boy.”

“Well, if you do, you better not sing the ‘penis’ song again.

“Oh no, it would be something different.  But since I’m four now, should I call my vagina a ‘twinkie’?”

“If you want to.”

“I don’t have any hair on my twinkie.”

“That’s okay, Derrek.”

“And I don’t have big boobies anymore either.”

“Well, you’re not supposed to at age four.”

“Sammy?”

“Yeah?”

“When you were four, did you play with your twinkie?”

“I probably did, but it’s hard to remember.  I always wanted a penis instead.”

“Sammy?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are penises more fun to play with than twinkies?”

“I think it’s because there’s more to grab onto.”

“Can I play with your penis, Sammy?”

“Okay … I’ll take my underpants off.”

“Sammy, you could get in a lot of trouble for not wearing PJ’s.”

“Well, there aren’t any boy PJ’s in my dad’s house … or girl PJ’s either.”

“Am I allowed to wiggle your penis?”

“Derrek, you can do anything you want except kick me in the balls.”

“I’m sorry, Sammy.  I won’t do that anymore.  Do your balls still hurt?”

“I think they’re feeling better now.”

“That’s good.  Okay, I’m wiggling your penis around in circles now.  Will that make it grow?”

“You’ll find out.”

“Sammy, can I draw Peepee the clown on it?”

“Let’s not do that tonight, Derrek.”

“Okay, I’m gonna kind’a whack it back and forth.  It really is fun to play with.  No wonder you wanted one.  It’s so funny to watch it grow.  It’s so tall now.  Sammy, can I do the ‘catapult’ thing where I pull it back and it slaps your tummy?”

“Derrek, just be nice to my balls … that’s all.”

“Okay.”

“Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing.”

As a little girl, I giggled with delight.  “That is so fun!” I squealed.

“Sammy?”

“What?!” he said with obvious annoyance.

“Can I give you a blow job … a little one?”

The boy took a moment to think about it.  “Ohhhhhhhhhhh, alright,” he groaned.

“Goody!” I squeaked.  Then I sat across his legs and bent forward.

To me, a little girl, his boy toy felt enchanted … as if this were the first time I had ever held one.  It was so warm and delicate.  I liked the little bell shape or ‘mushroom’ at the tip.  And the little hole on top looked like it wanted to say something.

I had totally forgotten that I had played with this exact penis thousands of times in the past.  Right now, it was something new and foreign.

I pulled it back a little and started licking it like an ice cream cone.  I was delighted that it put an instant smile on Sammy’s face.  Then my tongue went in circles around the ridge at the bottom of the bell.  That made his whole body wiggle.  It amazed me that a little person like me could turn on a real boy.

I decided to try lightly biting the head and shaft of his penis.  I would never bite too hard like those Hooey sisters said.  They were mean.

Sammy started making weird sound effects when I did the biting.

“Oooo … Oohhh … Ahhh … Ahhh … Ooooo.”

He balled his hands into fists and started ‘digging’ the end of the bed with the heels of his feet.  But he never opened his eyes.  I couldn’t figure out why his penis made the rest of his body so crazy.

I switched to light kissing and sucking on just the tip … okay, and a little biting too.

It seemed like that made his body go into convulsions.  “Oooo … Oohhh … Ahhh … Ahhh … Ooooo.”

Now, I wasn’t sure if he was liking it or hating it.  I couldn’t understand why such a small little toy could completely overwhelm the boy that it was attached to.  I guess if he didn’t like it, he could easily push me away. 

I pushed his pretend hot dog to the back of my throat.  I never thought a penis could be so big … or maybe it was because my mouth was so small.  Then without warning, Sammy became violent, and he screamed.

“Yes!, yes!, yes!, yes!, yes!”

His penis was throbbing in my mouth, like a heartbeat.  But at age eleven, he had no bullets to shoot.

Then Daniel burst into the room and said, “I heard some shouting!  Then he looked at the scene before him and moaned, “Jesus Christ, four years old and you’re already whoring around?  Unbelievable.”  Then he shut the door and departed.

I looked back at Sammy and asked, “What’s his problem?”

“Ahhh, he’s just jealous cuz we were having fun.  Okay, it’s bedtime now, Derrek.  Go to sleep.”

“Sammy?”

“What now?”

“When you put Fiddlesticks in the freezer, did he eat the ice cream?”

“No, Derrek, he was already dead.”

“Oh …………… Sammy?”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” he groaned.

“Do you think I’ll be a mommy when I grow up?”

“Sure.”

“And will you be the daddy?”

“Sure.”

“And how many babies will we have?”

“Four.”

“And what are their names?”

“Grimey, Slimey, Sleazy, and Romantoes.”

“Sammy?”

“Derrek, do I have to bang my head against the wall?  What do you want?”

“Does your scrotum itch?”

“No, why do you ask?”

“Because whenever I got out of bed, I always scratched my balls.  But now I don’t have any.”

“Okay, now go to sleep.”

“Sammy?”

Sam sat up and pointed a finger in my face.  “Derrek, if you ask one more question, you’re going to get a spanking!”

I buried my face in my pillow and cried … and cried … and cried … and cried.

Sam sat up again and touched my shoulder.  “Okay, Derrek, I’ll make you deal.  You can ask one more question … and then you have to go to sleep, okay?”

I sniffed, “Okay.”

“Alright then, what’s your question?”

“Do geese see god?”

The boy exhaled.  “Derrek, why the hell would ask such a question?”

I explained in my squeaky voice, “Because it spells the same forward and backward.”

“I see,” said the boy.  “Well, to answer your question … yes, I do believe that geese definitely see god.  But to them, god is probably a very large old goose.”

“Thank you, Sammy, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Derrek, and thanks for the blow job.”

“Your welcome, Sammy.  I’m glad you had an orgasm, and I have some questions about that too, but I’m not sure it’s worth a spanking.”

“Derrek, do you know how hard I spank?”

“Goodnight, Sammy.”