A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 82
Freaky Friday (28) – Genital Prisoners

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We could better understand now, the misery that Daniel must have felt being forced to wear a male chastity belt for two years.  We couldn’t touch ourselves, and going to the bathroom locked into one of these devices made relieving ourselves a messy project. It was hard to keep clean.

“I don’t feel one bit sorry for you two,” Paul told us, “especially you, Sam.  You always had a good head on your shoulders, but ever since you met Derrek, you’ve been doing goofy things … and not just goofy … try downright stupid.”

“I’m sorry, Dad,” said the boy.  But please don’t blame Derrek.  I take full responsibility for everything.  Derrek is a good person with a good heart.  I’ve influenced him to follow me into some bad decisions.”

Paul tossed a hand into the air.  “Sam, this so called water curse, and the body swapping is almost more than I can take.  I’m worried about your future.  You’re a little boy now.  How can you be Doctor Sammantha Adams?”

“Derrek and I are working together on that, Dad.”

“What … you’re going to train Derrek to be an unlicensed psychologist?  You could go to jail for that.”

“We’re working on that, Dad.  We’ll figure it out.”

“Well, while you’re at it, I’d like you to do some work around the house.  You can clean up the workshop downstairs, and you can clean out the basement.  I also have a lightweight hazmat overall that Derrek can wear and maybe the two of you can scrub the boat.  I just don’t want you laying around all week doing nothing.”

At least for this week, I would remain an eleven-year-old girl.  I stepped forward and said, “I’ll do my best to help, Pual.”

The basement workshop was a disaster area.  Paul was ‘sort of’ organized with boxes, baskets, and large jars with labels … except that the tools and bolts and screws were laying haphazardly all over the basement.  But our moods brightened.  We could actually keep busy doing something constructive together … and without making world headlines as we did in St. Thomas.

“Sam, you have a phone call,” Paul yelled into the basement.  Since our cell phones had been confiscated he had to run upstairs to take Paul’s phone.  I listened in.

“Hello?” said the boy.

“Oh, Daniel, it’s good to hear from you … what’s up?  Oh not much, we’re just cleaning up around my dad’s house … No, you don’t have to help us, really … You insist? … So what am I supposed to say, no? … Fine, are you driving? … How old are you now? … Somewhere in your twenties, but you’re not sure? … Okay, then just come over.”

Sam ran back downstairs.  The boy sounded excited.  “Daniel’s coming over.”

“Yeah, I heard.  That’s amazing that we actually still have one friend in the world.”

The boy nodded.  “But I think he might be a little surprised at the giant shit show we created in just one day.”

About ten minutes later, Daniel pulled into Paul’s driveway and we greeted him outside.  He was already wearing work gloves.  “Where do we start?” he asked.

Sam said coolly, “We should first probably tell you what happened yesterday, but let’s go to the basement for that.  You sure don’t look like twelve years old anymaore.”

“And that’s a good thing,” he responded.

Once downstairs, I looked at Sam and asked, “Should we show him?”

“Might as well.”

Simultaneously, Sam and I unbuckled and pulled down our pants … and then tighty whities and panties respectively.

Daniel’s jaw dropped.  He was dumbfounded.  “Holy Jesus Frickin Christ,” he stammered.  “What the hell happened to you guys?  I mean, I’ll admit that those are some pretty stylish looking chastity belts, but why are you wearing them?”

“It’s part of our punishment,” I explained to Daniel.  Then I handed him my clipboard.  “Would you like to help us with our homework?”

He read the title, “The Dangers of Pre-teen Sexual Promiscuity.  Wow, did Paul put these contraptions on you?”

Sam replied, “No it was court ordered by my office associate, Dr. Frumpy.”

“But how would she know what you guys do in private?”

Sam admitted, “Well, we were playing with our vegetables and things got a little out of hand.”

“I don’t understand, Sam.”

“I accidentally got a cucumber lodged too far up Derrek’s vagina, and she accidentally pushed one too far up my colon, so that one got stuck too …  so I had to go to the ER for a colonoscopy.”

“Oh, man!” Daniel exclaimed.  “That’s almost as bad as the guy with the gerbil … and what happened to you, Derrek?”

“They took me up to gynecology, stripped me naked, and put my legs up in stirrups.”

Daniel shook his head in disbelief.  “What could be more embarrassing than that?”

“How about four interns looking up my cunt with a microscope?  They even tied my hands down.”

Daniel offered, “But that still doesn’t explain the chastity belts.”

I just spilled it out.  “We were having rough sex, Daniel.  And we did a pretty good job of beating the hell out of each other.  So the doctor saw all the bruises and called child services who told us how naughty we were and sent us to Frumpy for counseling.”

“And these belts are a form of therapy?” Daniel posed.

Sam elaborated on our ordeal.  “I had an erection when she tried to put the belt on, so she grabbed my penis with her cold hands, and shoved everything together and locked me in.”

Daniel chuckled, “Sounds like something Frumpy could have carved on her tombstone … ‘I’ll give you this penis when you pry it from my cold dead hands.’  And that’s the same model belt as I had.  I never really got the hang of peeing with it.”

“Yeah, it sprays all over … even sitting down.”

“Sorry I caught you two with your pants down, but are we ready to get to work?  I didn’t come here just to stare at your genetalia.”

Sam directed the three of us.  My dad’s workshop is kind of like 5 thousand piece jigsaw puzzle.  We have to put everything in the basement back into the right bin, the right box, and the right jar.  Just imagine we had a jigsaw box with the completed picture on the cover.”

Daniel nodded. “So our job is to make that picture.”

“Right,” Sam agreed.  “And I’ve got extra bins and markers if we need them.”

We got a good three hours into our ‘puzzle’ when Sam decided it was time for a break.  He told Daniel, “We should go to lunch.  You drive, we pay.”

“Suits me,” Daniel responded.

Sam led us back upstairs.  “Hey, Dad … We’re going to Piada’s for lunch with Daniel.  You want to join us?”

“Holy crap,” Paul called out when he looked at us.  “Is that really Daniel … the little twelve-year-old kid?”

“I am,” Daniel replied in his deep adult voice.  “But I’m not twelve anymore, thank god.”

“Well, kids, I like Piada’s but I have a feeling that you’re all a bit overdosed on adult scoldings lately and you’d enjoy it more if you could plan your next mischiefs without me at the table.  So go ahead on your own … I have to run an errand anyway to de-porn all your electronics.”

“Later,” Sam said, waiving.

“Three carboneras and three pepperoni sticks,” the line chef repeated our order.

“So Derrek,” asked Daniel, “how long are stuck as an eleven-year-old?”

I sighed, “The eleven-year-old part is for one week.  The ‘girl’ part may be forever.”

“So that means Sam, the former Sammantha, is going to be a little boy for a long time?”

Sam answered sarcastically, “Yeah, but the great part is that I’ll be allowed to drive a car in five years.  I hope Derrek doesn’t crash the Porsche into a tree before then.”

“So what are you going to do with all that time?” Daniel pressed.

“Our best plan, which my dad is against, is to train Derrek to be a psychologist with my help at his side.  We already pulled off a session with me as an avatar.”

Daniel looked stunned. “That’s very creative.”

Sam added, “My worst nightmare is that Derrek will hire Kitti Power to be my baby sitter.”

“Who?”

I stepped in.  “That was a nightmare we don’t want to talk about … So what about you, Daniel?  Any thoughts about your future?”

“I think about it constantly, Derrek … Should I dare try to go back to my old partnership and law firm, ‘Goldfarb & Prestek’?  

“Why not?”

“Because I’m scared shitless of facing Gottfried.  You know I can’t tell him the truth about the water curse.  The police and the government scientists would get involved and my life would be basically over.”

Sam commented, “And how do we know the government isn’t already involved?  Maybe they created the water curse and used Queen Emma Allred as their ginea pig.”

“Daniel,” Sam and I could help you build a cover story.  You could pretend you had an emotional life crises, but you’re over it … you’re better now.”

“I don’t know, guys.”

Sam added, “Yeah, we could even go with you to face Putz’s dad together, tell him what a great guy you are.  He did say at our dinner that things were better two years ago when you were around.”

I jumped in, “Yeah, but I would have to go without you, Sam.  If Goldfarb recognizes your face as ‘Precious’ and he knows that Precious had a penis, that meeting could blow up in our faces.”

“Well, whatever happens, it still won’t change the fact that you guys gave me my life back, and it feels like I have a ‘get out of jail – free’ card.”

“Do you have a suit?” I asked him.

“No, Yolanda threw all those away two years ago.”

“Then we’re going shopping after lunch,” I replied, “And you and I are going to pay a friendly visit to the Goldfarb & Prestek law firm tomorrow morning.”

“So soon?” he wondered.  “I’m still kind of young looking for an adult.”

Sam gave him an order.  “Face your fears, Daniel.”