A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 5
My New Mom

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I was caught off guard as she lifted up my scrotum and noted, “Interesting … You have the same ‘J’ shaped birth mark on your sack as your father.  What did you do, draw it with a sharpie marker?  Well I have to say, this is quite an elaborate stunt the two of you pulled off.  I guess I have to give your daddy some credit.”

“Ask me anything,” I squeaked.

“Pardon?”

“Ask me something that only the adult Derrek would know.”

“Hmm … Okay, when we were having, as you said, rough sex … what was your reply when I told you to push me, shove me, punch me, strip me, spank me, slap my face, slap my boobs, yank my hair, and twist my arms?”

(high voice) “You also asked me to handcuff you to the bed, grab your chin, shove my tongue down your throat, shove my cock down your throat, ram my knee into your cunt, and then fuck your lights out … and then I replied ‘Would you like fries with that?’” 

Samantha looked at me crossly.  “What were you doing, kid … hiding under the bed?”

“No.”

“In the closet?”

“No … Ask me another question.”

“Okay … At the restaurant on our first date, what was my opinion of Dr. Frumpy?”

“You said that half the time, Dr. Frumpy had her head up her c … uh, her vagina.”

“It’s too late to clean up your mouth now, kid.  Okay … Again, at the restaurant on our first date, what part of the bill did you pay?”

“None of it.  I offered to pay for the wine, but you said as an athlete, you didn’t want to drink alcohol, so you got a water and I got a coke.”

Sammantha nodded her head.  “Interesting … I wonder how our relationship would have gone if I had spilled water on you at that dinner?   Listen, kid … do you know what a fib is?”

“Yes,”

“What’s a fib?”

“It’s when someone tells a lie, or when they don’t tell the truth.”

“Okay … So tell me your story without any fibs.”

I started to cry again.  I couldn’t help it.  I had the feeling that she now believed I was the real Derrek, her adult lover.  She took a tissue and wiped my eyes.  I started to speak in the high voice that I really hated.

“Three years ago I was confronted by a woman who I thought was a prostitute begging for money … so I called her a bad name.  Then she put a curse on me so that I would get younger whenever water touched my skin … the more water, the younger I got.  Dr. Frumpy said that the woman hypnotized me to experience age regression and that it wasn’t real.”

“Well you already know what I think of Dr. Frumpy.”

I continued to cry.  “My life’s been a hell ever since.  I’ve been having too many accidents with water … I can’t hold a job and can’t date women without something going wrong.”

“Tell me, sweety,” (she called me sweety again) “Is it just water that affects you, or can other liquids make you younger too?”

“Just regular water, dear.”  (I was now confident, that despite my diminutive size, I could resume communicating with Sammantha as an equal … adult to adult.)  “Rain and snow are bad, too.  But water mixed with pretty much anything else has no effect on me.  So powdered drinks, milk, soda, slushies … they’re all good.  And bodily fluids like sweat, saliva, urine, and tears don’t do anything either.  I can drink water, just make sure it goes in my mouth.”

“What about swimming pools?”

“If they’re heavily chlorinated, then I’m okay … but pools are maintained so differently everywhere, that I don’t take chances.  I just stay away.”

“Wait a minute … So your shower really isn’t broken?  How do you not stink?”

“Sometimes I use body powders.  Sometimes I go in the shower and soap up with body wash and then rinse with something wet like milk or ginger ale.”

“So tell me, sweety, after each incident, do you grow back up quickly, or do you have to wait for nature to take its course … are you maybe like 150 years old now?”

“No, no … That’s the good part.  Every 24 hour cycle, I regain two years. How old did you say I look now?”

“A very cute ten years old.”

(still in a high voice) “Okay, so if you spilled a half pint of water on me and I lost 18 years, that means that in nine days, I’ll be back to 28 years old.”

“So tomorrow at this time, you’ll be twelve and the next day, you’ll be fourteen?”

“Yep, that’s how it works … So no worries, we’ll be having sex again in a couple of days.”

“But what if you wanted to maintain the same age for more than a day?”

“I’ve actually experimented with that. A tablespoon of water on my wrist each day will keep me at a constant age.  But it was easier when I broke it up into two teaspoons a day, one in the morning and one at night.  That way, I hardly felt any of the bodily contractions of my bones and organs.”

“Interesting,” she mused.

I added confidently, “But we won’t need to worry about that, dear. (And I tried to make my kid’s voice sound romantic.)  In a few days we’ll be back to being star-struck lovers … having rough sex, easy sex, sex in the car, sex on the table, sex upside-down …. We’ll explore every position in the Kama Sutra … devouring the sweet forbidden fruits of each other’s delicious body.”

Sammantha tilted her head and giggled, “Sweety, that all sounds a bit silly coming from the mouth of a child.”

“Huh?”

“Well, loving another person isn’t always just about having sex.”

“Okay …”

“And I just can’t get over how absolutely adorable you are as a ten-year-old.  What a head of hair … those bright eyes, I said they were better than blue … and that little boner of yours is a tease … how cute!  It’s completely hairless, just like the rest of your body … so smooth.  You could be my angelic little cherub.”

I frowned.  “But I don’t want to be a ten-year-old.”

“Oh, sweety!” she gushed.  “For so many years, I’ve always wanted to have a little boy of my own to love.  As long as you’re ten for now, let’s do role play.  You’re great at it. You be the little boy and I’ll be your mom. You just need to stay in character.”

“But Sammantha-“

“Aah!  Call me ‘Mom’.”

“Sam—“

She put an index finger over my lips, shushing me … and slowly said “M O M”.

Placating her, I squeaked out a ‘Mom’, and she broke out into a wide grin.

“Oh, do I love the sound of that!”

My face blushed. My embarrassing boner was as hard as it could get. “Mom,” I squeaked again, “may I please put some clothes on?”

“Good idea, Sweety.  Let’s check out the bedroom and see if there’s anything that will fit you.”

Samantha set my feet back down on the floor and held my left hand as she escorted my lithe naked form (with big floppy hair) back to the master bedroom.  “Sweety, where do you keep your tape measure?”

As I stood in front of her, still with a raging hard-on, I nervously replied, “Mom, I’m really not comfortable having my penis measured.”

“Ha … silly boy.  Come over here and stand against the wall.”

Sammantha found a tape measure in my night stand and extended its length next to me.  “Okay, you are 56 inches tall.  That’s four foot eight. Not bad for a ten-year-old.”

Then came the part I never liked.  She pushed the end of the tape up into my scrotum and let the heavier part drop.  “Okay, your inseam is 27 inches.  That’s your pant length.  What about your waist?”

She brought the tape measure around my back and the two parts met just below my navel.  “Also a 27,” she stated.  “You’re a skinny little dude, aren’t you?  And what’s your measurement up front?”

“Huh?”

She then placed the end of the tape measure against the base of my penis even though I asked her not to. 

“Four inches is very respectable for a child,” she tried to reassure me.  It was not something I needed to know and I turned away in embarrassment.  But she took my hand and led me across the hall to the bathroom.  “Now let’s check your weight … okay, 91 pounds.  That’s a lot less than ‘big’ Derrek.  Sweety, when you had previous water incidents, did you ever purchase any children’s clothing?”

“No, I just waited in the apartment till I grew back.”

“Well that won’t do.  The Goodwill stays open till 9pm.  Why don’t we drive over there and pick up some temporary clothes for you.

“Okay, but I can’t go naked … and I certainly can’t drive.”

Samantha chuckled.  “Sorry, Sweety, I can’t help giggling.  Everything you say sounds cute coming out of you in a child’s voice.  Okay, let’s take a look in your dresser drawers.  Here, for now, why don’t you put on a pair of cargo shorts and tighten up a belt so they stay on.”

“No underwear?”

“We’ll stop at Walmart on the way back and get you some different boy’s sizes.”

“Boxers?” I querried.

She shook her head.  “Little boys all wear tighty whiteys.”

“But—“

Sammantha interrupted me. “Are we going to have our first argument and our first spanking?”

Her remark startled me. “Sammantha, I—“

“Aah!  It’s ‘Mom’.”

“Sorry … Mom, I thought this was just a role play game.  You wouldn’t spank me for real, would you?”

“Sweety, the most important part of role playing is that you need to stay in character.  You can’t be part child and part adult.”

I didn’t like the sound of where this was heading so I put my hands in a ‘T’ formation to ask for a time out.  “I’m calling a ‘break’.  I want to go back to being an adult.”

“Sweety, ‘break’ is a safe word to use when we’re having rough sex.  You won’t need it in this role play because you’ll always be safe with me.”

“But you’re still allowed to spank me for real?  Then forget it.  I won’t play.”

Sammantha put her hand on my bare left shoulder.  “Only when you deserve it, sweety … but I have every confidence that you’ll try your best to be a good boy, and I won’t need to spank you.  Anyway, for now, while you’re stuck being ten, I think we should give it a try and I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy it …  Here’s a tee shirt you can tuck in for now.”

I put on the oversized tee shirt and sighed, “This isn’t fair.”

“Sweety, what did the other women you dated do when they found out about your water curse?”

I admitted, “They screamed and then they left.”

“And what did I do?”

“You screamed, but so far, you haven’t left.”

“Wrong, I’m leaving now … Goodbye Derrek.  Thanks for the rough sex and have a nice life.  Dr. Frumpy can see you again in a week.”

“Wait, what?”