I LOOKED IN horror at Kristin Guilford, but tried to keep my face passive. ‘Maybe she won’t recognize me…’ I had to hope. My arm was once again waved at someone as she said, “Can you be a big girl and say ‘Hi’ to Miss Kristin?”
“Hi Miss Kristin,” I forced out.
“Well, ‘hi’ to you too Cammie. I love your outfit! Your mommy dressed you so pretty for your first day of daycare, huh?”
I dumbly nodded, hoping to get away from her as soon as I could. To my horror I was passed over to her, “I need to call the office for something. Would you please introduce her to the Clark sisters since they’re sitting next to Bella and Gracie? They’ll be good girls for her to start playing with.”
She held me securely, and I felt myself needing to pee from my nerves being so bad. I’d seen what she had done with Tyler, and found out that he had been grabbed right away after our graduation ceremony… A Big that does that straight after high school was usually one of the worst ones to watch out for! Knowing it wasn’t like I had a reason to hold it, I went ahead and let it out into the diaper.
Her hand must have warmed, as she sat me down, she asked, “Aww… did you make pee pees in your diapee like a good girl?” Her fingers squeezed the padding in front before patting my backside gently, “What a good girl! I can see why your mommy had you come to our room instead of a silly Preschool room. Just not ready to be a big girl, huh?”
I looked at her and shook my head lightly, “No, Miss Kristin.”
She smiled, “You’re going to do just fine here!” I noticed then she had sat me down next to four other ‘baby girls’ who were playing with baby dolls. “Girls, this is Cammie, can you all tell her what your name is?”
“I’m Layla!” A genuine little girl said with a smile. She seemed a bit big to be in the toddler room, and was dressed identically to the girl next to her who she grabbed in a hug, “Dis is baby sistah Sammy!”
Another girl next to Layla was a genuine baby too, “I’m Bella!” She shouted.
“Inside voices, remember Bella?”
“I’m Gracie!” The other ‘girl’ that sat there said with a giggle that matched the two genuine babies. Her age definitely didn’t match though! While her hair was blonde, it was clearly dyed because I could see some gray roots showing. The wrinkles on her face were not something you saw on a young woman either, and I guessed she was probably at least two decades older than me.
“Play nicely with Cammie,” Kristin told them as she sat me down onto the rug. “Here’s a baby doll for you to play with too,” she said as she handed me a cloth covered doll.
I took it from her, “Thanks Miss Kristin,” I forced myself to say.
“Oh, what a polite big girl we have!” She squealed, patted my head, then walked away.
“You’re new, but you at least have a brain,” the woman named Gracie said.
She giggled… it was disconcerting to hear that from someone her age. “You’d be amazed how many can’t figure that out. Taylor over there just got adopted, she fights tooth and nail on everything.” She indicated with her head a shorter Little probably about four-and-a-half-feet tall. She had her brown hair tied into pigtails with huge obnoxious bows tied on each, and a ‘dress’ that barely covered her swollen diaper. I noted she had one of those damn locking pacifiers in her mouth, mittens on her hands, and a tearfilled face that looked miserable.
“What did she do?”
“Made Kristin mad… Didn’t like the suppository she was being given and managed to kick her in the boob.” The woman looked at me, “Wasn’t a good idea... I wouldn’t recommend doing that, especially given you’re going to stand out in this room being so big.”
I nodded, “I kind of figured.”
“How long you been adopted?” the girl, Sammy, asked me.
Looking over at her chunkier form, I figured she probably weighed as much as I did, but was about nine inches shorter. “Three days…?”
“You’re newer than I am!” she replied. “How come your mommy isn’t at home taking care of you? She should have plenty of maternity leave?”
The disconnect of her romper, obvious diaper, and our conversation was definitely significant.
“Her mommy wants her back at work today…” I replied.
“Oh… Rich mommy?” Gracie asked.
I nodded, “Yes… unfortunately.”
Before they could ask me anything more Layla shoved me, “Play!”
I was surprised by the shove, and watched as her sister said, “Layla you can’t push people! Mommy said no to that!”
“You baby, play!” Layla said to me.
I saw Gracie nod towards the doll, and asked, “What do you want to play, Layla?”
She looked happy with that question, beginning to talk in words I could barely understand half of. She was just ‘teaching’ me how to push my baby in a stroller when she bent her knees and grunted. I could smell the diaper instantly, but she didn’t seem to care at all. Her sister Sammy sighed and suddenly stood up and went into the same crouch. I watched as she grunted a lot more than her sister, but was just as smelly.
I watched as she sat down in it, and her sister grunted a bit more. Her friend Bella suddenly went over to another group to play, while Layla looked like she was done and wanted to sit down like her sister did. Miss Crystal came by right then though.
She made a show of sniffing, “Uh-oh, I smell a poopy pants!” She picked me up in the air sniffed me, grabbed my diaper and said, “It’s not this one.” She smiled and sat me down. I watched as she checked Gracie who was also wet, and then the two sisters. She checked Sammy first, “A little poopy, but I know you can wait until your change. I’ll make sure your mommy knows you were a good girl in your diapee!”
I was surprised when she sat her right back down on the mess instead of taking her to change, “Must be you, huh?” she said as she tickled Layla. “Yep, you stinky!” She held her up and tickled her on the way to a changing table.
“What just happened?” I asked before thinking.
Sammy sighed, “What just happened is I was adopted in the hopes that my mommy can show my sister how to be a big girl. She hasn’t shown any interest in potty training, so she thought she needed a sister to show her the way… Anytime she has a poopy diaper I have to have one too to make her feel better about herself...”
“Bigs are crazy?” She replied.
“No, I mean why…?”
“Why didn’t she change her too?” Gracie asked, running a brush through her doll’s hair. “You want to potty train a Big, so they change them right away. No sense in them sitting in it and learning to like the feeling of their messy diaper. A Little is never going to grow up, so no reason to change us immediately.”
I squirmed at that information. “How long…?” I asked.
She smirked, “Better get used to that one soon baby boy… I mean baby girl. What’s the story there?”
I sighed, “I had a choice; regressed, teeth, walking, as a boy, or be a ‘big girl’ and in Pull-Ups.”
“Wrong room for Pull-Ups?” she said to me.
“My procedure was stopped at the last minute by the courts.”
She looked at me more warily, “Why does some court care about you?”
I smiled, “I have friends…”
“Well, I doubt you get out of those wet diapees anytime soon, but I wish you luck. I’ve been in various daycares in diapers now for twenty-eight years… had a couple years as a big adult girl working a job that were nice, I guess, but now I know I’ll be in them until they put me in a grave.”
I was about to respond to that horrible truth when I heard, “Time to clean up boys and girls! It’s circle time!”
Another lady appeared right then and came over to where we sat with Kristin, “Can you be big girls and help Miss Erin put away your dollies? Then you can show little Cammie what we all do for Circle Time?”
I nodded numbly at the treatment I knew was only just beginning. It was like herding cats as the three women gathered all fifteen of us up into a circle around the perimeter of the large floor rug. The two teachers and Miss Erin spread about the circle and I found myself sitting on a colored carpet circle right next to Miss Crystal.
“Good morning everyone!”
“Good morning, Miss Crystal!” All of the voices except mine and the two Littles with pacifiers stuck in their mouths replied enthusiastically.
“Oh, we can do better than that, can’t we Cammie?” She called me out. “Let’s try that again, class! Good morning everyone!” She said even more cheerily.
“Good morning, Miss Crystal,” I joined in to avoid further embarrassment.
“Now class today we have a new student, this is Cammie!” She said, leaning over and hugging me with one arm. “Everyone say, ‘Hi Cammie!’”
I heard everyone respond to varying degrees. Several of the genuine babies seemed actually happy to see a new face. Most of the Littles were either faking enthusiasm or numbly following along.
“Now, since Cammie is new, we’ll have to teach her all about what we bunnies do, huh?” She said as I watched her smiling face. “So, first thing is let’s teach her our good morning song! Everyone, stand up!”
She sang all of the lyrics, but Kristin and Miss Erin jumped in with an echo part we were supposed to say.
Good morning, good morning.
How are you today?
Good morning, good morning.
I’m happy let’s play.
I felt a poke at my side from Gracie when I didn’t join in on the second one, and figured I should probably at least try to join in. Like an elementary kid in choir who didn’t know the song I tried to do the best I could. Fortunately, she did that first set of lines twice, so I could sing the second time.
Stretch up, stretch down.
Spin your head, turn around.
Move your shoulders, up and down.
Stretch your arms and turn around.
She and the other teachers led us in the stretches and obviously they were intending on getting the wiggles out of the genuine little ones. For my part I felt things crackle as I did them since I was not exactly the picture of someone exercising recently! They moved back into the chorus twice then which I had figured out by then.
Good morning, good morning.
How are you today?
Good morning, good morning.
I’m happy let’s play.
“Yeah, let’s play!” she and the other teachers clapped and set off the real babies, and then the Littles followed along. “What a great little singer you are Cammie!” She said as she had everyone sit down.
“Thanks,” I blushed and knew I wasn’t!
“Now that we’ve said good morning, let’s all introduce ourselves!” she said with a smile. “Say your name and whether you’re a boy or a girl!” She smiled at me.
‘Bitch…’ I thought to myself. ‘Likely if I were to answer truthfully, I’ll get in trouble… if I say I’m a girl it’ll be another thing…’
She started, “My name is Miss Crystal, and I am a Girl!”
She nudged the girl next to her who was a genuine toddler, “My name is Emma, and I am girl!”
The next girl was the one who had been playing by herself, “Olivia, can you say your name?” Miss Kristin asked her.
“Livia,” she said.
“And she’s just a cute wittle girl, huh?” Miss Crystal said and reached over to tickle her. On and on it went as I was introduced to the seven Big toddlers, seven Littles, that was now made up of nine girls if you included me, and six boys.
Finally, it made it back around to me, “Can you finish it off?” Miss Crystal asked me.
I debated, but decided both options sucked, one would probably result in more punishment. “Hi, my name is Cammie, and I am a… girl.” I managed to get out.
“And what a good little girl too!” She said with a smile to me and hugged me again.
I honestly had no idea how long we were sitting in the circle singing songs, playing little games, clapping and jumping on command, learning our days of the week, making faces on how we felt, and more before she finally said, “Okay boys and girls! It’s snack time now! Let’s line up and Miss Kristin will give you your snack to eat!”
I realized that one of them had gotten up and begun heating up bottles and things while we were doing the ‘circle time.’ I waited my turn in line and went pee in the diaper again. “Oh, let’s see what you get Cammie,” Kristin said as she looked at a tablet. “Looks like you’re still a special baby girl who gets her mommy’s special milk, huh?”
I dumbly nodded as she handed me the large bottle that had been warmed, knowing by the label that it was mine. Everyone was sitting down at either some short tables in one corner of the room eating grapes, cheerios, or other snack foods, or most of the Littles and little Olivia were lying down on the carpet drinking their bottles. I found myself a place next to a girl named Taylor who looked to be about twenty. I looked at the bottle for a moment and she said, “It sucks, doesn’t it,” in a quiet voice.
I nodded, “Yeah, it does… How long for you?”
“Two months… I volunteered when I was about to demerit out from Emerson.” She made a motion to stick the bottle in her mouth and I followed suit, but didn’t start drinking right away.
“Why don’t you make yourself more comfy, and lay down?” Miss Crystal said to me as she pushed me down. “After that baba we’ll see about changing you into a new diapee too.”
I nodded and tentatively took a suckle from the bottle. This was the first time I had Addison’s milk outside of directly nursing it from her. To my delight it tasted the same, even though the temperature wasn’t quite right. Now that I had the taste on my tongue, I couldn’t help but nurse faster on the bottle. As I did so I needed to pee some more, and could feel another need growing as well.
I was kind of groggy as I began sucking at an empty bottle. I tilted it a couple ways trying to get more out, and Miss Crystal noticed. “Aww… did you need more milk?”
I just stared at her, and shrugged.
“I’ll get you another bottle later sweetie, you’re clearly new to it, but I’m surprised you’re still awake with that much. Your mommy sent you a big bottle!”
She tickled my stomach then, and said, “Why don’t you walk over to the story time corner with everyone else, Miss Kristin is going to tell you all a story!”
I sighed, but stood up and let her take my bottle from me. I saw there were a few pillows spread about the area and walked towards one. I was about to sit down and prop myself up on it when I felt the urge build again. Taking a peek at poor Mikee with his locking pacifier and very stinky diaper, I decided it wasn’t a good idea to hold it. I assumed the squat position that seemed necessary for me to go, and pushed.
I blushed as I realized there were at least ten pairs of eyes watching me as I pushed a huge load into the diaper. I could feel it curl and begin to squish against my skin as it ran out of space before the thick padding. I panted a little bit when I was done, and looked up to see the biggest boy other than me, Lucas say, “Cammie stinks, she poopied!”
“Yes, she did, huh?” She walked over to him instead of me, “She’s a stinky baby, just like you, huh?” She began tickling him, and carried him over to the circle, “We’ll change both of your stinky butts after story time. Sit down criss cross applesauce boys and girls!”
‘I hate her…’ I thought as I sat down in the mess. I could feel it ooze around my bottom, and the stickiness of it, and knowing what it was, made it all the worse!
‘Why isn’t she changing him? Didn’t Gracie say they changed Bigs normally right away?’ As Kristin opened up the storybook she was using, I took a better look at Lucas. He was much older than any of the other babies in the room, probably well over four if I had to guess. Then I remembered kids had to be potty-trained to go to Preschool. ‘Why is he here…?’
Kristin held up a book and began telling a story about a butterfly… I honestly was impressed by her storytelling, but that didn’t change my fear of her, or the fact that Addison’s milk was beginning to hit me hard.
I switched from sitting to lying down, and must have fallen asleep midway through the story.