Chapter Description: We hear from Ryan about why, whilst undeniably better than women have it, men can also face a tough time in Sallas. We learn a little about his growing up and then find out that rumours start very quickly. Later, Anna is home alone when nature calls. She is forced to wait for Ryan to get home but when he does so she is left in shock...
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There were a few days until the start of the course and Ryan spent them settling in. He knew Anna didn’t like the new regime but his father had been the one to advise him to do it. The relationship was much more parental than romantic, Ryan changed Anna’s diapers, bathed her, dressed her and did everything else a parent was expected to do and it was, quite frankly, exhausting. It didn’t help that his father was constantly texting, calling and e-mailing him to give more advice or check on him. He never failed to remind Ryan how important it was that he make friends, treat Anna properly and do well in his classes.
Making friends was the unexpected focus of Harold’s advice. Business in Sallas was very much a case of “who you know, not what you know” and it was vitally important that Ryan make connections with the other students who would also be future leaders. When Ryan informed Michael that he was getting to know Paul his father was delighted. It turned out that Paul’s family came from even more money than Ryan’s and a connection between the two could mean big money if they worked together.
Ryan loved business. It was truly his biggest passion and had been ever since he had been old enough to know what business was. Everything in his life was designed to push him into the family firm and his father was only too happy to help him. There was something about making deals, negotiating, making decisions and problem solving that Ryan just loved. Going into business, for him, wasn’t a choice. It was simply an inevitability.
Ryan and Anna hadn’t talked much over the last few days which was no different from before they arrived at college but it was starting to become more and more of a problem. They hadn’t had sex or any sexual contact. Ryan knew Anna resented him but she couldn’t understand the pressure he was under. That was another favourite topic of his father who seemed to take an unhealthy interest in his sex life. Ryan tried to be as vague as possible and lied about his activities with Anna.
Ryan was sat on a park bench to the side of the courtyard in between all the buildings. He was people-watching and the things he saw were surprising to him. In this area most of the apartments were taken up my married couples, young men who had brought their wives with them to college much like Ryan had. It wasn’t uncommon to see these women out of the house with their husbands or even alone sometimes.
The women Ryan saw were all dressed like children. Some were given puffy dresses not unlike what he imagined a five-year-old girl would wear to a princess party, some were in onesies and nothing more with their thick diapers bulging underneath, some weren’t even given that dignity as they were led around with a shirt and nothing covering their padding. All of them wore the mandatory harness with leash connected. The women who were without a male escort were clutching paper to their chest like their lives depended on it, they were permission slips to be outside alone and without them they risked being taken to the authorities. Most of them had pacifiers in their mouths.
It seemed to Ryan like a competitiveness had risen among the young men. A kind of masculine pride had developed that involved showing that they were more dominant over their women than anyone else. It seemed like whoever could embarrass their wife the most was the big man on campus. After just a few days he saw women in strollers, with pacifiers, even crawling around. It was like a game to these guys.
Ryan hadn’t taken Anna out of the house since they had arrived and hadn’t asked her to go to the shops either. He had done the shopping himself. His father wouldn’t have been happy to hear that.
Ryan’s father, Michael Manning, was a self-made man. He owned his own company and made sure everyone knew it, a tyrant to his employees Ryan had experienced little better at home. Michael was a demanding father that constantly pushed Ryan to excel in everything. It wasn’t good enough that Ryan join after school clubs or sorts teams, he had to be the best.
Michael’s need for domination had spread to every facet of his life including his wife. Ryan’s mother was a showpiece for Michael, a trophy that he showed off just to make sure everyone knew he was the alpha male. Ryan had watched as a child as his mother was surgically “enhanced” to Michael’s taste. Ryan could remember Michael browsing catalogues for surgeries as if he was looking at after-market car parts. Breast enhancements saw his mother, Annie, need increasingly large bras until she was practically spilling out of any dress she wore. Annie’s waist was made smaller, she was given so much plastic surgery Ryan barely recognized her. It never seemed enough and every few months she would be sent to the hospital for what Michael called a “tune up.”
Growing up Ryan hadn’t thought much about it. It was all he had known so it didn’t seem all that strange to him. It was only when he brought friends home and he saw the way they stared at his mother that he realised this was extreme even in Sallas’s ultra-misogynist world.
Ryan hadn’t been close to his mom in years. Michael didn’t believe a woman had any place raising a boy so she was relegated to simply doing the chores. It was like she was more of a servant than a mother, Ryan always saw her around but only rarely interacted with her. He didn’t like how things were but it was his father’s house and he made the rules.
For all the problems at home Ryan had one thing to be very thankful to his father for. It was thanks to his dad that Ryan discovered that he loved business. He had done work experience with at his dad’s business and it was through that experience he discovered a love for making big decisions that could have big ramifications. He couldn’t wait to get through college, there was a nice job waiting for him at the end of it.
“Hey, man, you alright?” Paul had walked up to Ryan whilst the latter had been staring into the middle-distance and lost in thought.
“Oh, hi.” Ryan looked up at his neighbor, “I’m fine. Just having some time to myself.”
“I see.” Paul didn’t seem to be getting the hint that Ryan wanted to be left alone as he perched on the arm of the bench, “Anna moaning your ears off? I know Jane can be like that. Got to keep them in their place though, right? When Jane’s pissing me off I just tell to do some arbitrary task and then when she’s done tell her to undo it. Just yesterday I had her rearrange all the books by author, then as soon as she finished I told her to put them back exactly as they were. You should’ve seen her freak out because she couldn’t remember how they went!”
Paul burst into loud laughter and Ryan smiled up at him before looking away. He had seen a lot of different punishments and read about even more but he hadn’t had to do much to keep Anna in line which he was thankful for. She seemed like a firecracker under the surface, constantly on the verge of exploding but able to hold back… just.
“Are you coming to the bar tonight?” Paul asked when he had finally stopped laughing.
“I don’t know.” Ryan answered truthfully.
“Man, it’s a good time.” Paul said, “We have a lot of fun.”
Ryan remained non-committal as he watched some more people walk past. A man was pushing a large stroller down the middle of the path. He could see the woman who was strapped down to the seat was red in the face and seemed to have her eyes tightly closed as if ignoring reality would make it different.
“We’ll see.” Ryan said with a small shrug.
“Alright, man, it’s just…” Paul looked around and rubbed the back of his neck, “People have started talking.”
“What do you mean?” Ryan asked.
“I mean no one sees you out with Anna. You aren’t coming out to drink with the boys…” Paul was looking down at the ground as if he had something unpleasant to say but he let silence fall.
“And?” Ryan finally prompted.
“The guys… Not me, but some of the other guys have said you might be…” Paul took a deep breath and looked up at Ryan’s face, “Pussy whipped.”
Ryan’s mouth fell open as he stared at Paul. They had only been here for a few days and yet he was apparently already getting a reputation, one he didn’t feel he deserved at all. This wasn’t empty rumors either. If you weren’t seen as a strong man who kept up with other men and kept women in their place you could be shunned. It wasn’t just a college thing, in a society where who you know often means more than what you know having a bad reputation could end your career before it started. Ryan couldn’t let word go around that he was weak. Imagining his father’s reaction made him shiver.
“I’ll see you later, bud.” Paul stood up and stretched before walking away.
Ryan was left with his thoughts. It didn’t matter if he thought most of the other males there were pompous assholes and it didn’t matter if he preferred quiet nights at home there were things that he just had to do. He stared straight ahead for a few seconds and then looked over to Paul’s retreating back. He hesitated for a second before sighing.
“Paul!” Ryan called out. The neighbor turned to look back at the bench, “I’ll see you tonight… at the bar.”
Paul smiled and gave him a thumbs up before turning away and carrying on his journey. Ryan checked his watch and saw he had been sitting out in the courtyard for well over an hour, he stood up and made his way back home. He didn’t really want to head out to the bar but he had to think about his career, the thing he loved above all else.
Anna was sat quietly on the couch with the television on but the volume turned down. She looked at the clock and saw that it was just past midnight. She tapped her foot on the floor in annoyance. Normally she wouldn’t have a problem with Ryan being out of the apartment, in fact she was usually grateful for it but this time was different.
Sniffing the air Anna curled her lip in disgust. She was in a messy diaper and had been for at least an hour now. She wished she could change herself but she didn’t think that was particularly wise especially if Ryan was coming home drunk, she didn’t know what he was like when he’d had a drink. She knew her mother would’ve advised her to wait.
Anna’s last few days had been every bit the nightmare she had thought it might be. Her days were filled with chores with very little time to herself. The only thing going better than she had expected was that Ryan still hadn’t attempted to consummate their marriage, in fact he hadn’t initiated any kind of sexual contact. Anna was happy about that but also found herself feeling a little put out. “Am I really that unattractive?” Anna said to herself whenever the thought came up.
Anna stood up and angrily shook her head. She hated thinking like that, she knew she didn’t need a man to find value in herself. She walked out on to the balcony. The air was cool but pleasant and as she walked to the wall and looked out over the courtyard she saw that everything was quiet. From the last few days she knew when the on campus bars kicked everyone out there would be a lot of loud drunkenness out there. She shivered as she thought about all the other women waiting for their man to come home just like herself, women who were in worse positions. She thought about Jane and wondered how she felt. She was only across the hall but she might as well been on the other side of the planet, there was no way for Anna to talk with her.
“To hell with this.” Anna stomped back inside and went towards the bedroom.
As Anna walked through the apartment she found her mind wandering back. Ryan had gone out for a walk and when he came home informed her that he was going out to the bar with some other guys that evening. Anna couldn’t and didn’t question him even if she wanted to. It was strange though, she somewhat got the impression he was hoping she would say something that convince him not to go. For a few seconds he had looked at her with longing before sighing and walking away with an order to cook him some dinner. As she cooked she found herself wanting to voice a curiosity that had plagued her since they had moved in.
“Ryan, what’s in that locked room next to the bathroom?” Anna tried to sound casual as she stirred the pot.
“Hmm?” Ryan replied without looking Anna’s way.
“The locked room next to the bathroom.” Anna repeated, “It’s been locked since we got here. Have you been in there?”
“It’s just a storage room.” Ryan replied.
Anna could only nod her head. Even as she fell back into silence she couldn’t help wondering what it was actually storing. As she took a mental tour through the apartment she couldn’t think of anything they had brought with them that was missing. She didn’t want to push the subject though, if Ryan didn’t want her to know what was in there then she simply wouldn’t know. Though she couldn’t help but find the intrigue extremely alluring.
Ryan had left shortly after dinner and Anna was left alone. She had soon found her tummy cramping and as much as she tried to hold back what was coming it was never going to last all the way until Ryan came home. At around eleven Anna could no longer hold back. She looked towards the door as if hoping for a miracle before crouching down and grunting. The back of her diaper had exploded outwards as she emptied her bowels. A feeling she hated no matter how many times it had happened.
Before walking into the bedroom Anna stopped next to that locked door. She knew it wouldn’t open but that didn’t stop her from putting a hand on the doorknob and pushing. Predictably, it didn’t budge.
Anna walked into the bedroom and looked at the changing table. She felt like if she spent too much longer in this diaper she would end up with a rash which she wanted to avoid no matter what. She knew she could expect to be punished if she did this but she didn’t feel like she had a choice. Not to mention she was angry at being left like this, she deserved more than being forgotten.
Anna pulled out a fresh diaper and some wipes. She put her hands on the edge of the changing table and then lifted herself up. Turning in mid-air Anna landed on top of the padded surface and winced as the hefty load in her disposable was spread around a bit. She was just about to lay back when she heard a bang against the front door. She lifted her head and looked towards the entrance to the room.
“Figures…” Anna muttered as she heard a key scraping against the door.
Anna quickly hopped off the changing table and quickly put the changing supplies away. As she hurried back out to the living room she felt her heart fluttering with nervousness. She really didn’t know what would greet her. She sat back down on the couch and yet again spread the waste in her diaper over her skin. Just as she leaned back in her seat the front door opened.
“I’m home!” Ryan yelled far too loudly as he stumbled through the door.
Anna remained in place without saying a word. She watched as Ryan turned around and closed the door, the effort of which seemed to nearly knock him over. He leaned against the wall next to the door for several moments. Anna thought he might actually have fallen asleep for a second before he suddenly came back to life and turned around. He staggered towards the couch where Anna sat, the young woman was worried that he had lecherous intent but he stopped halfway and sniffed.
“It smells like crap.” Ryan slurred.
“I need a diaper change.” Anna replied quietly.
“Ugh.” Ryan grunted in disgust.
Anna wanted to scream at Ryan that if he was here the cleanup would’ve been much easier. She wanted to yell at him for looking at her like that when she didn’t want any of this. She didn’t choose this life and she didn’t choose to be his wife. Her anger went further and she wanted to scream about how this was all unfair, the little devil on her shoulder told her to do it whilst the angel on the other side told her to stay quiet.
In the end Anna’s decision was made for her as Ryan stumbled towards the bedroom. He hadn’t said anything but Anna assumed it was for a much overdue diaper change. She followed her drunk husband into the bedroom and glanced nervously at the changing table hoping that nothing was out of place that might get her in trouble.
Ryan pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it on to the floor. He kicked his shoes off and then undid his pants, he practically fell over as he tried to pull them off and then flopped on to the bed whilst still half-dressed. His eyes closed leaving Anna awkwardly hovering near the changing table.
“I need a change.” Anna said again when it seemed like Ryan was down for the count.
“Do it yourself…” Ryan mumbled into the covers.
“What!?” Anna’s eyes widened.
There was silence in the room and Anna felt like she was perched on the edge of a building waiting to see if she would fall off it or not. She waited for Ryan to say something but soon the only sounds he was making were loud snores. She stayed on the spot as if a step in either direction would knock her over.
Anna waited for half a minute but Ryan remained deeply asleep with snores that echoed off all the walls. After all the fretting and sitting around in the uncomfortable diaper it turned out she could probably have changed herself whenever. She could count the number of times she had changed her own diaper on one hand and she had never done it with permission.
Anna pulled out the supplies she had hastily put away a couple of minutes before and lifted herself up on to the changing table. She was so dirty at this stage that she barely winced as she laid back on the padded surface. She reached to the front of her diaper and then hesitated, looking over to Ryan again she wanted to make sure this wasn’t some sort of trick but he still seemed to be asleep.
The tapes came off with a noisy tearing sound and as the soaked front of the padding slackened the smell quickly escaped. Anna hadn’t thought about how difficult it would be to change a messy diaper like this.
“Ryan?” Anna’s voice was shakier than usual. Her husband was dead to the world, it seemed like a marching band coming through the bedroom wouldn’t wake him up.
Anna sat up again and pulled the front of the diaper up over her crotch. Holding the waistband at the front and back with both hands she carefully walked out towards the hallway. It was an awkward waddle and Anna felt like she was leaving a trail of stink behind her. This felt naughty but she had been given permission to change herself…
Anna walked past the door that had been locked since the couple had arrived and went into the bathroom. The bath had a shower attachment, carefully adjusting her grip so she could hold both front and back of the diaper in one hand she used the other to turn on the water. As she waited for the shower to heat up she carefully stuck her head out of the bathroom door anxiously listening out for Ryan, he was snoring so loud Anna could hear it over the water.
Anna closed the bathroom door and stood next to the tub. Slowly and with a grimace of disgust she lowered her messy diaper between her legs. She really had no idea why males insisted on diapers when they were so gross to change, she was aware that it was a power thing but it felt like there were easier ways to assert your authority.
Anna carefully folded up the used diaper and taped it closed. She stepped into the shower and let the warm water run down over her body. She closed her eyes and tilted her face up towards the shower head. It was only after a few minutes that she got to the task of cleaning herself, she looked down to the brown-tinged water. It was almost hypnotic as it swirled around the drain.
The shower took a while. Anna was able to clean herself up easily enough but she wanted to spend more time under the water. She had no idea how long she stayed in the shower before stepping over the edge of the tub and out on to the bath mat. She wrapped a towel around herself and waited. She wasn’t really sure if she had done the right thing, if Ryan found out she had done something without his permission he could flip out. Anna knew if she was at home her father would’ve been apoplectic.
Once dry Anna slowly opened the bathroom door and walked out into the hallway. She let out a sigh of relief when she heard the snoring from Ryan continuing. She went into the bedroom and tip-toed around to her side of the mattress. With one of her spare diapers she made sure she was protected as she climbed into bed. She had to push one of Ryan’s legs out the way so she could lay down but he was still out of it. A fresh towel protected the pillow from her wet hair as she laid down and tried to go to sleep.