Seems Too Good to be True (Diaper Dimension)

Chapter 14
Morning After

I FOUND MYSELF waking up sometime in the night based on the nightlights that glowed in the room. I stood up and looked through the bars along the walls where probably a couple hundred butterflies glowed with some sort of phosphorescence in various patterns. Hearts, stars, and my name were all outlined with the glowing butterflies… Three butterfly nightlights dimly lit the lower walls of the room to make it seem a little bit less… scary too. Well at least if I wasn’t in a cage… I felt the rectangular slats in front of me blocking my escape and realized my hands were so small in comparison that I couldn’t even get my fingers around a slat to grip it fully. When I extended my hands up, they were still just short of grabbing onto the rail to attempt to pull myself out. I reminded myself it wouldn't be worth it anyway.

I startled myself as I brushed my hand by my mouth and realized I was unconsciously nursing a pacifier. Panicking, I quickly pulled it out of my mouth to make sure it wasn’t a locking one like earlier! I was very relieved when it came out willingly. Not really wanting to lay something on the bed that would probably be put back into my mouth, I held the slobbery pacifier in my hand.

‘Why did I wake up?’ I wondered. I felt at my diaper and felt that it was squishy and wet. ‘I guess that’s it?’ I thought.

Right then though something else was making its presence known - I needed to poop! ‘No…’ I thought and tried to hold it in. I found myself sitting down on my butt trying to keep it from coming out. I bounced up and down and did everything I could to avoid it, but it was an impossible battle to win. I found myself on my hands and knees moments later unwillingly pushing poop into the diaper.

It felt really watery and sticky at the same time, and I immediately began to smell it.

‘It’s night time and she’s not in here for me to ask to be changed,’ I panicked. I was soon sobbing with despair at the thought of remaining in the diaper all night. “Mommy?” I cried out tentatively.

I found myself sobbing more as I sat there. ‘This is disgusting, and I’m going to end up with a rash… or a UTI or something…’

Suddenly the door opened and Ivy came in, flipping the light on. My eyes complained at the sudden brightness, but I was so grateful to have a way out of the mess.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” she asked as she picked me up. Her nose wrinkled though and she said, “Never mind, Mommy knows what’s wrong. Let’s get that icky diapee changed,” she said soothingly.

She carried me gingerly, like a grenade about to go off… well it already had, I needed her to clean it up! “Why don’t you put your paci back in your mouth?” she asked me as she placed me down on the changing table.

I shook my head, “No… just get this off of me,” I cried, “It’s gross!”

“Aww, it’ll be okay,” she reassured me. She got to work undoing the zipper on the sleeper she had put me in after I fell asleep. With the zipper undone all the way to my foot she pulled that foot out first, then the other side and lifted me up to push it all back almost above my chest. She fumbled for a moment with the tapes and soon managed to expose the gore inside the diaper.

I watched her face and realized it must have been bad because her nose wrinkled too. ‘Of course, she hasn’t changed that many messy diapers yet…’ I thought to myself. ‘You’ve fully crapped your pants now twice today… so at this rate she’s going to get plenty of practice!’

I tilted my head forward and watched as she used the front of the diaper to wipe as much of my bottom as she could. I watched as she wrapped it in on itself and tossed it into a disposal. She began a bunch of wipes on my bottom, enough that I thought maybe she had used the whole pack! She finally felt like I was clean, but something made her stop before putting another diaper on me.

“Do you want a bath before you go back to bed?”

I looked up at her and nodded since I felt disgusting still. “Come on then, we’ll go to mommy’s bathroom,” she said while pulling the rest of the sleeper off over my head. She wrapped me in a blanket and carried me out of the nursery and through her room to the massive master bathroom. She sat me down next to the massive toilet, and I watched her turn on the faucets for a massive tub inset in the ground. She added bubble bath that began foaming immediately before she set some baby shampoo and soap next to the tub. I was a little surprised when she began to strip off her own clothes. A moment later she was naked, and in the process of unwrapping me from the blanket.

“Come on Princess, let’s get a nice relaxing bath in so we can both go night-night,” she told me.

I looked at her body nervously and realized there was nothing she felt she needed to hide from a baby girl. If I had still been male, I was certain I would have been aroused to no end, but now I just felt ashamed by the fact I was so tiny compared to her. Her breasts and the hair on her crotch were just a few of the ways that I wasn’t just less ‘mature’ by size alone. She stood me up in the water as she got comfortable in the tub.

“Come on, let’s wash you clean,” she told me. A loofah appeared and she began scrubbing every part of my body, but especially focused on my diaper area. My cheeks turned red and I grumbled a bit, but a part of me appreciated the effort because I did feel cleaner than I had a few minutes before. She turned her attention next to my hair, dampening it with a flexible shower spray nozzle before massaging in the baby shampoo.

I closed my eyes as she massaged my head and washed my hair. For all that I was mad about her doing this all to me, I at least appreciated the nice treatment right then. She used the same sprayer to rinse the water out of my hair.

“Better?” She asked me.

I shrugged, “Cleaner at least.”

“Give me a minute, I want to scrub some too… and then maybe we can talk.”

I sighed, “What’s the point?” I muttered.

She looked hurt, but just focused on using some gel on her own loofah that she rubbed her body down with while I walked to the other end of the tub. If I wasn’t standing, I could easily swim in the huge whirlpool style tub. It was a good thing it wasn’t completely filled because it would have extended the water to above my head actually…

I turned and watched as she cleaned herself and obscured her body with the soap that foamed as she did so. Her breasts invoked a series of emotions for me, not least of which was my stomach growled. ‘Damnit,’ I yelled at myself, ‘you’re addicted to that stuff…’

I thought back to the research I had read and was sure that I was also most likely nearly, or completely incontinent by now, having been drinking it for over a week. As if to prove the point I felt myself peeing in the tub right then and looked sheepishly to find Ivy watching me.

“It’s okay, it’s not like you can control it now,” she told me. “Look… can we talk?”

“What’s there to talk about? I read all about the research on the effects your milk has on us this morning. I know it’s why I’ve been wetting at night, now in the daytime, and now I’ve lost control of my bowels too. You obviously have your baby now to keep locked in her crib, feed her whatever you want, and can get your mothering kicks at the price of my dignity and freedom!”

I looked at her and was surprised to see tears in her eyes, “I’m sorry…” she said. “This isn’t what I imagined at all…”

“What did you imagine? That the talented doctor you lured here with the promise of learning new techniques would be so happy to become a baby locked away in a crib pooping in his diaper? That I would be happy to have my gender changed? That I would happily just begin cooing affectionately for you every time I saw you bare your breasts?” I felt my face turn red as I realized I was really probably pushing the line here. “What am I going to DO now? Sit in a playpen all day? Play with those toys you have spread about the room? Go to daycare while you get to perform the surgeries that I would have done myself back home?” I paused, “And all of that while I have to sh… poop my pants without having any control? It is soooo humiliating and disgusting!!!!”

She looked more ashamed then and I almost felt bad.

“I’m sorry… I can’t undo the damage… I screwed up. I was trying to take things slowly and get you to actually like me as a mommy before you needed me to be one… and I guess I should have just ripped the Band-Aid off first,” she told me.

“What do you mean?” I asked hesitantly.

“Do you know what happens when most of the littles come through with the company you did?”

I shook my head and felt my stomach drop, “No?”

“The new parents select everything about you - I told you about that. Most of those parents choose to remove their littles ability to walk, and remove their teeth, so that it’s breastmilk only for food... or pureed baby food if they’re feeling nice.”

“You’ve basically done that to me…” I reminded her.

Tears leaked out of her eyes, “I’m sorry about the baby food and the formula earlier… I was so hurt when you rejected me, I wasn’t thinking straight…”

I could tell this wasn’t an act, she genuinely felt bad, “Please promise me you won’t feed me that stuff again?” I told her.

She nodded, “As long as it can be avoided, I won’t feed you that.”

“What does that mean?”

“Certain daycares or restaurants might force the issue…” she told me nervously.

“You obviously plan on me going to the one at the hospital where you work, what does that one do?”

“At your size breastmilk, formula, or baby food,” she told me.

“No way!!! Every day?!?” I screeched.

“No, not every day,” she told me, “Most days I will come and get you and feed you something else at the cafeteria or the staff lounge.”

“When will that not be?”

“You’ve been a surgeon… you know there are times that we get locked up in a surgery and can’t get away… it’ll be mostly those times.” She paused, “I can tell them just breast milk if you want… I know you at least like the taste.”

“But it loosens stools so much!” I complained, “You’ll have me pooping most of the day…”

“They’ll change you,” she told me.

I glared at her, “Not the right answer.”

“Well… I don’t have another answer.”

I glared at her, “Isn’t there any way I could just stay with you?”

She shook her head, “Would you allow a baby into the O.R. with you?”

I looked at her and felt a tear streaking from my eye and down my cheek, shaking my head, “No…”

“Look I’m sorry…” she said and after thinking for a second, “I had a request today that I participate in a surgery on a five-year-old female patient next week. I’m supposed to do the Pre-Op appointment with them on Friday and do have permission for you to come with me to that.”

“I’m supposed to be scenery though, right?”

She sighed and grabbed me from the opposite side of the tub and planted me on my bottom on her criss crossed legs facing her. “I guess yes, but it’s the best I can do? Unless you do want to go to the daycare already?”

I made a face, “Not until I have to…” I paused, “Couldn’t you like hire a babysitter, or a nanny instead?”

“I could… but do you really want to nurse on some teenagers’ breasts because you’re so cute she instantly starts lactating?”

“That really happens?!?”

“I did it with at least a couple dozen littles I sat myself,” she told me. “I nursed pretty much all of them when I babysat all the way through undergrad.”

The mention of nursing brought my eyes to her nipples in front of me. Both were dripping small drops of milk and I forced myself to look at her face. “The nanny option?”

“You do not want to be treated like an infant, right?”

I shook my head.

“Most nannies prefer to keep littles locked in their playpens and cribs, feed them, change them, and repeat.”

“School?” I asked out of morbid curiosity.

“Preschool is about all you’d be allowed into since you’re adopted… Maybe some allowance could have been made if you were already admitted to Emerson when you arrived - that’s the local university - but coming pre-adopted would kill that chance. Besides, you already have a doctorate?”

“The preschool option… it might not be as bad?” I suggested.

“With you not being potty trained it would be… not to mention the big kids in Preschool are all at least a foot or two taller than you. Littles end up being picked on really badly at all of them,” she told me.

“This sucks!” I told her. “So, what can I do?”

“Look… most littles get by since they don’t know anything else. They get mentally regressed so that they’re happy being a baby. They don’t know any better…”

“That almost would have been better,” I admitted. Adding, “almost,” again to it.

“So… here’s what I propose. You can still read anything you want, use the tablet, your computer, watch TV, do some sort of craft - whatever you want. It’ll be like a vacation where you don’t have to worry about doing anything.”

“Permanent one though?”

“Well… Look, no other big will offer this… but I’ll make you this promise… if you’re still miserable at the end of the contracted time they said you would be here I’ll send you home.”

“Incontinent?”

“It might be possible to train you again?” She suggested.

I sighed, “It’s not like I have much choice.”

She hugged me, “I’m sorry, I know you think your life is over… but maybe this will be a better life?” She paused, “I really do love you Holly.”

I just nodded, definitely not about to say ‘I love you too’ in this situation. Feeling awkward I found myself looking down at her breasts again. The nipples were dripping little droplets every now and then, it was tantalizing and my stomach growled right then.

“You want a midnight snack before you go to bed?” she asked me, seeing where I was looking.

“No…” I paused, “Maybe…” I sighed, “It’s weird…”

“Not at all baby,” she told me. “Do you want to nurse here, or after I dress you?”

I began peeing right then some more, “Maybe after you dress me… I keep peeing…”

She laughed, “If that’s the only reason you want to wait, I don’t mind a little pee.”

I blushed, “I do though?”

“Okay,” she said to me and sat up. I watched her reach over and unplug the tub before standing up with me in her arms. She dried us both off with a towel before laying me on my back on top of a thin soft cloth on her bed. Apparently, she had stashed some diapers in her room because she quickly had me taped in the new diaper and began manipulating folding the blanket around me. It took me a few moments before I realized she was swaddling me tightly. I felt helpless when she finished because I was unable to move my body or my hands.

“Do you really have to do this to me?” I asked her.

“Shush…” she told me, “give it a try, you may find you get the best sleep you’ve ever had. Swaddling is supposed to be very comforting even to adults.”

I would have grumbled more but a pacifier was plunked into my mouth then.

Sighing I couldn’t do much more than turn my head and watch as Ivy grabbed a pair of her panties from the dresser. I watched her slide them up over her butt before she wrapped a thin robe around her body. I blushed as I realized she wasn’t putting any other clothes on.

‘Is there really a point if you need to pull your boobs out anyway?’ I admitted.

She came back for me, gathering me in her arms like you would a newborn, “Come on princess, I know you’re not thrilled with me today, but at least you can enjoy some comfort from me?”

I grumbled a bit around the pacifier, “I would have if you hadn’t wrapped me in this…” I tried to say.

She got the gist of it, “Really, just give it a try,” she told me. Back in the nursery she sat down in the rocking chair and moved the robe out of the way for her left breast before bringing me up to it. With my arms bound tightly in the swaddling there was no way I could hold myself up there, so I just latched on and began sucking on her nipple.

The warm nipple began gushing milk into my mouth with every suck and I found myself contentedly filling my stomach. By the time she burped me and switched me to the other side I was already fading back to sleep.

IVY WASN’T QUITE sure how to label the day now. ‘Not a complete disaster,’ was her best guess.

Holly had fallen asleep quickly while nursing her second breast and didn’t seem like she was pulling any more milk from her. She could feel that she was still full though. She gently used a baby wipe on Holly’s face to get off the slobber and milk that had made it onto her chin, before she lay her down in the crib. ‘Better go pump the rest,’ she thought.

She ended up getting nearly a bottle worth still out of her right breast, and another little bit out of her left breast that seemed to understand it needed to do more. Cleaning up she found a pair of comfortable satin pajamas to put on before checking on Holly.

Sound asleep she closed the door again and made sure she had the monitor turned up as she lay down in her own bed.

‘I hope she can get over hating me…’ she thought as tears streamed down her face. She listened to soft snores coming over the baby monitor, ‘At least we got over the hump with nursing from now on…’ she thought as she looked one more time at the clock. It was already forty-five minutes into the next day. ‘Ugh…’ she thought, ‘I definitely will have to feed her regular food. I don’t think I could do the three am feedings that I would have to do if she’s only on breast milk.’

She closed her eyes and smiled, ‘I finally have my little baby girl!’

WHEN IVY WOKE up, she looked at the clock and saw it was still relatively early. ‘I should call Mom sometime today,’ she thought. ‘Maybe I’ll make sure that Holly sees the backyard today.’ She’d been keeping her from seeing the elaborate playhouse she had built for her until she felt like she was ready. ‘I don’t know of many other littles that have their own mini-house,’ she thought.

Her breasts felt full so she decided she needed to do something about it. For a second she started walking towards the pump in the kitchen, but then suddenly veered off to the nursery. Holly was still sleeping and looked so adorable, all bundled up in her swaddling. The pacifier had never left her mouth and she watched it bob with each unconscious suckling. She reached down and began undoing the swaddling around Holly figuring she would wake up, but was surprised she stayed asleep. ‘She can sleep through just about anything,’ she thought.

Wanting to nurse her skin-to-skin when she woke up, she carried her over to the changing table and began pulling the footie pajamas off of her. The diaper she wore was soaked and beginning to leak around the legs. She opened it up to begin changing it and Holly finally began to stir.

“Where am I?” Holly asked sleepily, wiping her face with her eyes.

“Just getting your wet diapee changed,” Ivy soothed.

Her eyes came straight open then and she tried to move, but the belt held her down.

“Just a moment sweetie, I’m almost done,” she told her as she moved to wipe her down with some baby wipes. There was a bit of loose looking stool in her butt that she wiped carefully. Some red spots were beginning to form so she grabbed rash cream and applied it to her butt.

“What’s that?”

“Rash ointment,” she told her as she lay her butt down on the new diaper. “You’re looking a little red back there,” she added.

Holly’s face turned red to match, and looked like she was biting her tongue from saying something else. Since she didn’t say anything, she proceeded to finish changing her into her new diaper. Finishing up, she wiped her hands with a baby wipe before she picked Holly up and carried her to the rocking chair.

“You’re nursing me again?” She asked Ivy, sounding more than a bit testy.

She looked down at her and realized she probably was tired of liquid meals, she hadn’t had real food since lunch the day before. “Please? I’ll make you bacon or sausage for breakfast afterwards?”

She looked at her and held out her pinky, “Pinky swear?”

Ivy felt a bit incredulous with her sometimes, but took her tiny pinky in my own and said, “Pinky swear.”

“What if I just go back to sleep because of your milk?” She whined as Ivy settled down and moved her robe away.

“I’ll wake you up for food, promise.” Ivy told her.

“Why are you naked?” She asked before she could get her up to her breast.

Ivy blushed at that, “Skin to skin contact is supposed to make bonding easier?”

“Horse-crap,” Holly said, “nothing is going to make this easier…”

Before she could say anything else to ruin her morning, Ivy put Holly’s face to her nipple and watched her latch on. The feeling as her tongue and mouth sucked on her nipple was amazing. She couldn’t help but feel a bit aroused as the little girl nursed until the breast would give no more.

“Come on, let’s burp and go to the other one,” she told Holly.

Ivy pulled her mouth away from her breast and placed her face towards her shoulder. A few pats to the back resulted in a big belch, “Guess you have piggies in your tummy, huh?” She said in her mommy voice.

In seconds she had her on her other breast and noticed that once again she was becoming heavier and obviously sleepy in her arms. ‘I may have to wait to feed her until after she’s eaten solid food in the future,’ she told herself. ‘My milk put her out like a light…’

Sure enough, she was fully asleep as she pulled her away from her breast and cuddled her for a moment. She hadn’t been lying about the bonding through skin-to-skin contact - even if it didn’t affect the littles it certainly did her. Holly felt like she was her own biological child and she would protect her at all costs. Feeling a bit sticky from Holly’s mouth being on her nipples she decided to get up.

A quick check of Holly’s diaper revealed she was already pretty wet, so she changed her and then dressed her in a simple pink onesie with ‘Mommy’s Girl’ on the front of it. Little hearts popped up at random in the design and made her heart flutter. ‘I think I’ll put her in the swing…’ she thought and carried her to the living room and strapped her into her new swing. She programmed in a pattern that mimicked mommy rocking her baby, setting it in motion while it played a soft lullaby. She had been sure to buy a swing that was for a baby, not a little, so that she could be sure it wouldn’t do anything else to the girl.

‘I’ve already done more than enough,’ she thought as she wiped herself off with some baby wipes and then hooked up the breast pumps. ‘I’d better get the last out of my one and keep working on increasing my production. If she’s going to be eating breast milk only when I can’t get to her, they’ll need a lot of bottles!’

She cleaned up after pumping, pleased to see another full bottle worth remaining in her breasts after nursing, and got dressed before working on cooking some sausage and bacon on the stove.

I COULDN’T BELIEVE that the events of the last couple weeks had happened. Nursing for the third time from Ivy left me feeling the need to really pee as soon as I woke up. I was able to hold that in for just a single moment before it left me involuntarily and made its way into the diaper. I smelled bacon and hoped that meant that she was keeping her word to me. I wasn’t overly hungry after nursing, but the smell was heavenly. I looked down at myself and saw she had dressed me in a onesie t-shirt that appeared to have a cutesy ‘mommy’s girl’ saying on it. I groaned wondering about how bad the messages on onesies could get. ‘So help me if she puts me in a ‘filling diaper’ shirt with a battery full indicator on it I’m going to scream…’

I sighed and looked at where I was. I was rocking and figured I must have been in a swing. It was a soothing motion, but I really didn’t want to stay in there, “Mommy?” I called out after spitting the pacifier out.

“Just a minute Holly Bear, I just need to get the rest of this sausage out of the pan.”

‘Holly Bear?!?!’ I groaned. ‘If you’re a baby to her I’m sure there’s going to be a whole lot of worse nicknames,’ I complained.

I looked down and saw that I was in another of those inescapable five-point harnesses that were on my car seat, my high chair, and anything else they could come up with. I thought about trying to manipulate the buckle to release me, but I knew it was a waste of time to try. Whatever the Amazons had done with the buckles had effectively childproofed them from me.

‘I wonder if there are any how-to guides online…?’ I wondered to myself. ‘If she even really lets me use my tablet still…’

Ivy finally clanked the pan down and walked over to me. “Did you have some good extra sleep?” she cooed at me.

I sighed, “I guess.”

Fingers suddenly intruded on my diaper and I gasped, “What are you doing?”

“Seeing how wet your diapee is,” she told me. “It’ll hold through breakfast at least.”

I growled but kept my mouth shut as she placed me into the high chair and at least placed a plate of bacon, sausage, and toast in front of me. A baby bottle filled with juice joined the food. “May I at least have my sippy cup?” I asked as politely as I could.

She looked at me for a moment, “It’s already in the bottle… drink that and I’ll give you your sippy cup later?”

I sighed, “I guess that’s reasonable… Thank you for the food,” I added. After last night’s horrors I never wanted to be fed baby food again. ‘The breast milk isn’t that terrible,’ I admitted to myself, ‘but I wouldn’t want to only have it…’

I wasn’t given any utensils so I just grabbed a piece of bacon with my hand and noted that the piece was as large as my arm! The patties of sausage on my plate were smaller, while the couple I could see on her plate would have made great large hamburgers for me! I looked at the bottle skeptically, but was thirsty enough I picked it up and took a tentative swallow.

Sweet juice entered my mouth, but I couldn’t identify the fruit. It was sweet and tasty after everything from dinner last night. I found myself drinking for a long moment on it before I sat it down. I noted I’d guzzled nearly a third of the bottle in that one drink!

I grew suspicious at that, “what is this?”

“Plapple juice,” she said, “it’s a hybrid fruit that is mainly used for making juice. Seems to be a favorite of young children and littles. I find it too sweet personally, but I thought you might enjoy it? I’ve given it to you quite a bit already?”

“How young of children?” I asked suspiciously.

She shrugged, “Usually preschoolers or under?”

“Why don’t older kids drink it?”

She looked nervous, “It increases urine output and sometimes is a little too helpful on the bowels.”

“So, it’s a diuretic and a laxative? Is it safe?” I asked nervously while wanting more.

“Perfectly safe, I promise I won’t give you anything that’s not.”

“Your milk might be considered otherwise,” I told her. “It definitely had a negative physiological effect on me.”

She sighed, “I’m sorry you’re upset about it, but it was a matter of time no matter what.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Finish your breakfast first?”

I sighed and grabbed some more pieces of bacon and sausage. I stared at the bottle, ‘Should I?’ I asked myself. Right then I felt my diaper warm with more pee and felt something else needing to exit my bowels. I did my best to hold it in, but knew it was a losing proposition. ‘What the hell?’ I decided and grabbed the gigantic bottle and brought the nipple to my lips. I noticed it was sort of like the shape of Ivy’s nipples, but not quite. ‘Avoiding ‘nipple confusion,’’ I shook my head as I sucked in a mouthful of juice into my mouth. My self-control was going as quickly as my continence, because I found myself nursing it empty before I went for the final piece of bacon.

“All done?” Ivy asked.

Right then I felt the need to fart and knew I couldn’t hold it in long.

“Mommy, I need to use the potty,” I cried out. My gut cramped and it was really painful.

I looked over at her and she shook her head, “You’re wearing your potty from now on. Remember our deal? You got your three strikes, so that means you need those diapers. I’m not going to waste attempts trying to toilet train you since we both know that’s not an option anymore.”

I stared at her and felt tears stream down my eyes. It had already happened to me too many times and I was past my breaking point. I tried to let some gas out gently, but instead ended up cramping and pushing a mess into my diaper and smushing it against my butt. “Not again…” I cried out.