Sam's Crawl To Adulthood

Chapter 35

Chapter Description: It is the final part of Sam's story! It's time to go home, back to Sam's real family, but is there a last hurdle to clear? Can Sam simply go back to her old life and forget anything ever happened after what she's experienced?

Commissioned by: diaperboy187

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Sam was as anxious as she had been before any of her first days at the various schools she had so recently been enrolled in. She was chewing on her fingernails as the car travelled along the streets towards her old life. Gradually the surroundings became more familiar to her, she saw buildings that had forgotten memories attached. She shifted in her seat unaccustomed as she was to the lack of padding between her legs.

Immediately after being told she could go home Sam had almost gone into a frenzy of celebration. She had jumped around the room and hugged Isabelle hard as she cheered something she had wanted for a long time but had seemed completely unobtainable. Once she had calmed down Isabelle had told her she wanted a few more days to try and get Sam out of pull-ups once and for all.

The potty training that happened next had been a success with a caveat. Although Sam could now reliably make it to the bathroom without problem she found occasional dribbles of urine still escaped her from time to time. She had worried that it meant she would be sent home in the pull-ups but Isabelle had come up with another suggestion.

Isabelle had taken Sam to the same clothing store they had bought her previous clothes and led her to the young child section. Sam frowned, she had thought they were done with this and if she was about to go home she wasn’t sure what they could possibly need.

“What do you think?” Isabelle asked as she stood in front of a shelf.

Sam’s eyes opened wide. She could hardly believe what she was looking at. Her heart seemed to beat faster as she reached forwards and touched one of the items in front of her.

“You… You mean it?” Sam asked.

“You’ve earned them.” Isabelle smiled and rubbed Sam’s hair.

In front of Sam was an array of training pants. Almost indistinguishable from regular underwear except for the fact that they were a little thicker. There was a dizzying array of designs in front of her from ultra-girly princesses and unicorns to very masculine superheroes and cars.

“You can have any that you want.” Isabelle said, “As long as they fit, of course.”

Sam was like a kid in a candy store. She started immediately looking through all the different options and hurrying up and down the shelf trying to find the perfect pairs. She didn’t want anything too childish, though that was hard to avoid bearing in mind what she was buying. She was keen on anything super feminine but she wasn’t into the masculine options either. In the end she selected a range of rather boring plain colour training pants. Before she handed them to Isabelle she paused and bit her lip. She felt like she shouldn’t be doing it but she reached in and picked up one more pair of thick underpants.

“Are you sure?” Isabelle asked.

Sam blushed a little but nodded her head. This last pair was different to the others. Rather than being what most kids would describe as boring, these ones had a pattern on them. They were covered in characters from one of the children’s television shows that Sam had spent a lot of time watching in her playpen both before Isabelle rescued her and as she attempted to grow up. They were unashamedly childish, especially compared to the other choices.

“Alright, why don’t you go to the changing room to try them on?” Isabelle pointed at a small booth nearby.

The training pants Sam had taken were almost like regular panties, they just looked a little childish and were slightly thicker. Even so, when Sam looked in the mirror and saw a reflection with no disposable padding on her body at all she couldn’t help but smile widely. In the not-so-distant past she would’ve thought this would’ve been impossible. She kept expecting to wake up as if this was a dream that was too good to be true.

The only negative was that she could only really buy half the pairs she had tried. The others, to her annoyance, were too big for her. It wasn’t enough to dampen her excitement though. The truth of the matter was that she ecstatic to be in “big girl panties.”

Now Sam was in the car and on the way home. To her real home. They had been driving for some time and Sam was filled with excitement and worry. Jess had said that, as far as the rest of the world knew, Sam went missing in Europe. It had been some time, Sam assumed her friends and family must’ve thought they would never see her again but here she was. Walking back into their lives would no doubt be a huge shock.

Sam didn’t want to tell anyone what had happened to her. She wanted to put all of this behind her for good and so came up with a story where she was kidnapped by someone in Europe but then managed to escape. It was close to the truth but omitted details she really didn’t want anyone finding out about. The car was cruising down familiar streets now and Sam’s foot was shaking nervously.

“Nearly home.” Isabelle said. She seemed a little tense as well.

“Maybe I shouldn’t go back…” Sam said, “What if they don’t recognise me?”

“It’s only been about eighteen months, Sam.” Isabelle smiled, “These are your parents.”

“I mean… I’ve changed a lot. What if they don’t recognise the person I am now?” Sam clarified.

“You’ve worked so hard for this.” Isabelle said as she pulled the car over next to the curb just round the corner from Sam’s home, “I know you’re nervous but your parents will be over the moon that you’re OK. It’ll be a miracle for them.”

“What if they ask awkward questions?” Sam asked.

“Well, that’ll be up to you.” Isabelle said, “You’re an adult. You’ll have to use your best judgement.”

Sam nodded thoughtfully. It felt like she was in a dream world, or had walked on to the set of an old television show she used to watch. Everything felt familiar but different. Perhaps her brain hadn’t come to terms with the fact that she really was home.

“Sam…” Isabelle was looking down at the steering wheel. Sam could hear her voice thick with emotion, “I just want to say that I’m so proud of you.”

Sam felt a lump in her throat. She bit her bottom lip and was thankful Isabelle was holding her tears back because she was sure that if her former care giver started crying she was sure she would be bawling as well.

“I know it hasn’t been easy.” Isabelle continued, “I know I haven’t… Well, I haven’t been the best “mother” to you. I did my best but…”

“You’ve been great!” Sam interrupted. Tears were running down her face now and she wiped at them as she unbuckled her seatbelt, “I’m the one that should be apologising for making this all so difficult.”

“You have nothing to apologise for.” Isabelle was sniffling now too, “It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster but I’m very happy I’ve met you. I’m glad I could help you. I know I’m not your real mother, of course, but I wanted to say…”

Isabelle paused. Sam looked up through her shimmering eyes and Isabelle was looking right back.

“I wanted to say that I love you.” Isabelle said and this time she did start crying, “As a daughter, I mean. I would be proud to be your parent.”

Sam quickly climbed up on to her seat and then practically leapt into Isabelle’s arms. They had occasionally hugged before but it had never been with the raw emotion that they embraced each other with in the car. For a full minute they remained locked together and quietly sobbing.

“I love you too…” Sam whispered, “Mommy.”

When Sam finally pulled away both women were a mess. They had tears all over them and after taking a brief moment to compose themselves and laugh at the messes they had made Isabelle opened the glove compartment and handed out tissues.

“Right, well, I’ll let you get out here.” Isabelle said when they had got themselves back together, “You should walk back on your own. It’s time to forget about everything that’s happened and move on with your life. I know you’ll be happy and successful. You have my details if you want to keep in touch.”

“Thank you.” Sam said as she opened the door.

Sam had very little luggage that she was bringing home with her. A single suitcase carried everything she wanted to keep from the last year or so. With her bag on the ground she gave Isabelle one last wave, received one in return and then the car started to roll away. Sam remained in place feeling a great loss as Isabelle’s vehicle carried on down the road and disappeared around a corner.

Sam pulled up the handle on the suitcase and started rolling it around the corner on to her childhood street. She had her face to the ground as she ran through what she was going to say when the front door opened in just a few seconds time. There were about a thousand different reactions she could imagine but she felt she wasn’t prepared for any of them. She didn’t think she could ever be prepared to finally be back home.

“Hello Sam.”

Sam froze. She didn’t look up. She didn’t have to. That voice was seared into her brain, almost literally. It was Jess. Sam slowly swallowed as she looked up and felt two worlds colliding together. Jess had changed. She looked a lot rougher now, her previously immaculate hair was all over the place and she had bags under her eyes. It didn’t look like she’d slept in days and now she was stood just a few feet away and looking down at Sam with what she must’ve thought was a warm smile but came across as more of a grimace.

“I… You…” Sam’s words barely had the strength to leave her mouth.

“I’ve been watching you, Sam.” Jess said. She took a step forwards and Sam retreated one, “I’ve seen you fighting and struggling against your true nature. I’ve seen you embarrassing yourself everywhere you go as you try to be the big girl that you never were. Everything I saw showed one thing. You need me.”

Sam had barely breathed since Jess had appeared. She wished more than anything that Isabelle was here to take care of this situation for her. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She was meant to go home and live happily ever after.

“You are a baby, Sam.” Jess continued, “And you’re the only one that needs convincing of that fact. You needed to be taken care of. You will only EVER be safe if you come home with me and be what you should always have been. A fully regressed baby that I’ll protect from the world!”

“You’re insane!” Sam finally found her tongue, “You… You need to go before I…”

“What are you going to do?” Jess asked, “I don’t think you’ll do anything because you want to be a good girl for Mommy, don’t you? You want to B E H A V E.”

Sam felt a hook in her brain. A voice telling her that she wanted to do exactly what Jess said. Suddenly everything Jess had said was making more sense to her. She shook her head as she tried to get the two halves of her brain to agree with each other. Suddenly the hook felt like it was dislodged and the thoughts vanished.

“No.” Sam said as she balled up her fists, “I don’t need you. I don’t WANT you!”

“H U S H  L I T T L E  O N E.” Jess said as her smile faltered, “I see you’ve been brainwashed against me. That’s OK, we’ll soon get you feeling better.”

This trigger had Sam letting go of her suitcase and grabbing at her head. It felt like she was falling, like the skills she had taken so long to learn were slipping away and leaving nothing in their place. She stumbled back a couple of steps as she gritted her teeth. It felt like all was lost as she fell but suddenly she felt herself regain her footing on the pavement.

“Leave…” Sam gasped out, “Before I call the police.”

“You little brat.” Jess growled. The thin layer of her sunny disposition had given way to the cold steel that was underneath, “How dare you talk to me like this. Do you know what I’ve done for you? What I’ve sacrificed for you? If you don’t start showing me the proper respect you’re going to find yourself regretting it.”

Sam looked up defiantly. Jess had taken a couple of steps forwards but stopped when she saw that the little woman wasn’t under her spell. Sam stood up straight again and glared at Jess with pure hatred. Despite her resistance and strength she knew what was about to happen and she didn’t know if she could possibly hope to fight it off. Just as Sam opened her mouth Jess beat her to the punch.

“Be a G O O D  L I T T L E  G I R L for Mommy, Sam.” Jess said. She smirked as she pressed the red button in Sam’s head.

Sam gasped as her mind went blank. Her body dropped to its hands and knees as her consciousness was locked into that familiar box hidden at the back of her brain. She watched as her body seemed to lose control. Her training pants warmed with urine but didn’t leak, it was only a minor accident rather than the expected flood.

“You will learn your manners.” Jess said as she approached Sam, “Now crawl to me.”

Sam’s body started to crawl automatically. Inside her own head Sam rattled the bars and found that they had more give than they used to. She screamed at herself to regain control and put every last ounce of effort into throwing off the effects of the trigger.

Sam crawled up to Jess who stood over her looking down with smug satisfaction. No doubt Isabelle had set her work back many months but no one could get those triggers erased, Jess had all the equipment to bring them back to maximum potency again. She bent down to pick up the baby. Her car was only a few feet away, they would disappear and never be heard from again. As her hands reached Sam she suddenly saw the small woman looking up at her with fire in her eyes. She was too stunned to react as a little fist came flying through the air and into the side of her face.

Sam watched Jess stumble and fall. It didn’t look like the punch had hurt the taller woman all that much but it had definitely shocked her. Perhaps it was almost as surprising as the failure of the most powerful trigger in her arsenal. Sam grabbed her suitcase and walked around until she was right in Jess’s face.

“I don’t need you.” Sam growled like an animal, “Fuck off.”

Sam then pulled her suitcase past Jess and carried on down the street. She looked back after a little while to see the door of Jess’s car closing and the wheels spinning as it took off down the road like a bat out of hell. Sam turned forwards again and looked straight at the house she grew up. The house her parents would be in. After all this time she was home.

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One Year Later…

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The taxi rolled through the streets of the city. Sam nervously played with her fingers and looked out of the window as best she could with her diminutive height. She hadn’t been down these streets in a long time. Everything that had happened here felt like a lifetime ago, that it had all happened to a different person.

A lot had happened since Sam had arrived back at home. Her parents were, as expected, ecstatic about her sudden return. Many tears were shed from everyone and it was a long time before anyone could actually say much to each other. One of the first questions was, inevitably, about where the heck she had been. Sam told them she had been kidnapped by people she didn’t know the identity of and at some point had got amnesia and forgotten a lot of what happened. The police were told and Sam repeated the story, she got the feeling no one fully believed her but at the same time no one could really prove anything else. After a while it was dropped. Sam went to a therapist who did, eventually, get the truth from her. They had been working through some of the lingering traumas which actually had something to do with why Sam was in the back of the taxi.

Sam hadn’t been completely “fixed” when she left Isabelle. Although she was basically completely dry during the day she still struggled at night and when she got particularly emotional or stressed. It seemed her body had developed some lasting incontinence issues. At night she had problems as well, once or twice a week she would wake up with wet sheets. It meant that whilst she was in training pants during the day she still wore more substantial padding to bed and always had a couple of disposable diapers on her in case of emergencies.

One of the worst parts about going home was her mother discovering her continence issues. Being the over-protective mother that she was she insisted on “helping” Sam as much as possible. It didn’t matter how many times Sam told her mom that she didn’t need help she was still going to get it. Diapers were ordered along with more training pants. Rather embarrassingly Sam’s mom would only trust Sam to look after her leaking issues when the young woman had proven she could diaper herself if needed. That meant parading in front of her to have her taping technique checked for imperfections. At least it was a test Sam passed relatively quickly.

Sam had gone back to college as well. It didn’t take long for the school to re-enrol her and thanks to her time going through the schools she was quickly able to get up to speed. Her marks were good and she was confident she would get a good degree. Sam had decided she wanted to get into psychiatry or something similar.

“It’s just up here.” Sam said to the driver, “On the left.”

Sam had butterflies in her tummy. This would be the first time seeing her Mommy since the day she had arrived back home. At first she had never thought she would see her again but her therapist suggested it was something that needed to happen. After some initial contact they had agreed to meet. There had been some unusual suggestions that had been agreed, things that Sam knew would be embarrassing but… for some reason she wanted it.

The taxi pulled over in front of the building and Sam climbed out. She paid and then held her bag close to her as she looked at a place that was both very familiar and that she never thought she would see again.

Second thoughts rushed through Sam’s head as she approached the front door. She could feel a light dampness in her training pants, evidence of her anxiety as she reached up and knocked on the door. She heard hurried footsteps within and then the door opened.

“Sam!” Isabelle said excitedly. She reached down and instantly wrapped the smaller woman in a hug.

“Hello.” Sam replied with a big smile, “It’s good to see you.”

“And you.” Isabelle said, “Come in, you have to tell me what you’ve been up to.”

“Erm, I don’t mind doing that later…” Sam said as she pulled her suitcase inside, “But, erm, could we go upstairs first?”

Isabelle looked a little unsure. Not about whether she was going to do what Sam wanted but rather whether it was the best thing for Sam. Even after all that time Sam could see how much concern Isabelle had for her welfare.

“Are you sure?” Isabelle asked, “When I read your e-mail I had to say I was… surprised.”

Sam shyly nodded. Her cheeks were blushing just like they had done so often before when standing in Isabelle’s presence. The difference this time was that she was an equal, a fully grown woman who was asking for something she never would’ve imagined asking for just a few months ago. This was something that had developed very recently, something her therapist had suggested Sam open herself to.

“Alright, after you.” Isabelle said.

Sam turned to the stairs and started walking up. Each stair was like a step back in time, she heard Isabelle coming up behind her and it felt like nothing had changed. She had her life back now but it was hard to forget the past.

Everything was exactly as Sam remembered it. She wandered down the landing past closed doors until she reached the one where her old bedroom used to be. She looked back at Isabelle who gave her a little nod and then pushed the door open.

The nursery was set up exactly the way it had been when Sam had originally used it. She walked in and felt a flood of memories come back to her. She suddenly had momentary second thoughts but pushed past them quickly as she walked over to the changing table.

“So… Are you going to tell me why you want to do this?” Isabelle asked as she walked over and lifted Sam up and on to the table.

“I don’t know…” Sam said bashfully, “I feel like you’ll think I’m weird.”

“Sam, I think it’s fair to say we’ve been through a lot.” Isabelle smiled slightly, “Nothing you say will shock me.”

“I… I think I want to wear diapers sometimes.” Sam said quietly. She looked up at Isabelle. The taller woman’s eyebrows were disappearing into her hairline.

“OK, that did shock me.” Isabelle finally replied.

“I can’t explain it.” Sam shook her head, “For the first few months after I got home I wanted nothing to do with diapers as I’m sure you understand. Then after a little while I started to have more thoughts about them. About four months ago I bought some diapers of my own…”

“You did? Why?” Isabelle asked with surprise.

“At first I really didn’t know.” Sam replied, “I know it’s crazy. I spent so long hating them and doing everything to get out of them. Eventually I talked to my therapist about it and that’s when I started understanding things a little more.”

Sam paused to look at Isabelle again. She had been worried that her former care giver would think she was a freak or something. In her crazier moments she thought Isabelle might decide Sam wasn’t ready for the world and regress her again. Obviously that would never really happen, Isabelle wasn’t Jess after all. It was still difficult to open up about this stuff to anyone, it had even taken her therapist months to crack this egg.

“I’m back in the adult world now.” Sam said, “I have college, a part-time job, meeting new people, questions about what happened… It’s a lot. I’ve been really stressed and I started discovering that putting a diaper on just made it easier to cope sometimes. I don’t know if what happened has caused this but I’ve been working on accepting it as a part of myself regardless.”

“I think that’s very grown-up of you.” Isabelle replied, “And your therapist says you should go with it?”

“Yep.” Sam replied, “And I’ve been doing it at home a bit but… Well, it scratches the itch but it still feels like there’s something better.”

“And that’s why you want me to…” Isabelle started.

“I want you to…” Sam trailed off in embarrassment. She took a deep breath, “Look after me. Just for the weekend, of course. Then maybe, if it goes well, just every now and again.”

Isabelle nodded her head. It didn’t look like she fully understood why Sam needed this but she was still going to do it. Sam pulled off her shirt and unhooked the training bra she wore, though didn’t particularly need.

“Sam, I’m here for you.” Isabelle said as she pulled a diaper out from under the table, “No matter what you need I’ll do what I can.”

Sam smiled as Isabelle helped her get undressed. Soon she was flat on her back and staring up at a familiar ceiling as the diaper was taped on to her. Rather than the anxiety and anger she had previously felt when getting diapered she felt a deep relaxation coming over her.

“There we go.” Isabelle said as the last tape was pressed to the front of the padding.

“Thank you, Mommy.” Sam said as she sat up and looked down at her padded waist.

“I could get used to that.” Isabelle said with a small chuckle.

Sam had a small feeling Isabelle would have to. She already felt her stress and worries disappearing and they’d barely even gotten started. After everything that had happened from the moment she was taken at the airport in Europe Sam had never thought she would end up doing this voluntarily but there she was… and she was happy.