From College to Crib

Chapter Description: With Kat staying for dinner, Alice is kept on edge. When a revelation about the previous Thanksgiving is made Alice knows things are about to get a whole lot worse.

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Dinner was a tense affair. At least it was for me. The three of us sat around the round table roughly equal distances from each other. Kat was staring, wide eyed and open mouthed, at my meal. We were having sausages with mashed potatoes and assorted vegetables. Whilst Mom and Kat had near identical servings, mine was slightly different. My sausages had been pre-cut up.

That wasn’t all though. My juice, unlike the soda Kat was allowed to drink, was served in a bright pink sippy cup. These had becoming common things for Mom to do with my meals, but it clearly shocked Kat. She couldn't stop looking and staring as I went increasingly red. The issues with continence were one thing, this was quite another. I had to force myself to eat though my appetite had deserted me. Outside I could hear the windows getting battered with wind and very heavy rain as darkness fell.

“Gosh, it’s nasty out there tonight.” Mom said.

If Mom noticed anything unusual, she wasn’t letting it show. As I turned increasingly red and Kat continued to stare, Mom chatted away and ate. She asked Kat questions about herself and what we had got up to during college. I was actually kind of grateful since it took attention away from me, if only for a few seconds. I was glad that Kat seemed to have enough sense to keep our wilder exploits to herself.

I stayed mostly quiet. It was better to remain silent and try to blend into the background since every time I opened my mouth it felt like I invited trouble on to myself. Mom excused herself to the bathroom halfway through the meal and she left the room leaving an awkward silence behind her. I tried to ignore Kat’s staring.

“I’m sorry, I have to ask…” Kat leaned in as if Mom might somehow hear her, “What’s with the sippy cup?”

“Oh, erm, I’m just a bit clumsy. I spilt a drink a few times.” I mumbled. It was true… ish. I had spilt my drink once but that was one too many times for Mom.

“But… a sippy cup?” Kat continued.

“Mom’s strict.” I shrugged and went back to my meal as if what I had just said in any way excused my infantile drinking vessel. I felt like that was the understatement of the century.

Thankfully Kat didn’t ask any more questions. Presumably that was because Mom came back into the room shortly afterwards. It wasn’t long until she finished dinner, she was the last one. I felt some hope that maybe Kat would go home now. Outside there was a flash of lightning and thunder rumbled across the sky above the house.

“I haven’t seen a storm like this since last Thanksgiving.” Kat said as she looked out the window. A flash of lightning briefly illuminated the night sky showing the rain that was pouring, “Do you remember that, Alice? I thought the house was going to flood!”

I froze with my knife and fork hanging in the air. I saw Mom similarly freeze. We both turned to Kat who looked back at us not understanding why the atmosphere, already tense, had suddenly become even colder.

“Thanksgiving?” Mom asked. Her voice was light, but her face was set in stone, “Last year?”

I was desperately trying to shake my head in a way that Kat would see but Mom wouldn’t. My heart was hammering so fast I was starting to pant a little. I prayed Kat would look at me and change the subject. It didn’t work.

“Yeah…” Kat said slowly.

The silence returned. The wind howling against the windows seemed to grow in volume. I swallowed anxiously and looked down at my food as Mom turned her head to look at me. Though her eyes were boring through the side of my head she addressed Kat.

“You and Alice spent Thanksgiving together last year?” Mom asked.

“Yeah… I assumed you would’ve known.” Kat said, “Alice told me she told you her plans and that you were cool with them.”

“She did?” Mom continued.

Every question was like a fresh wound. There was a crack of thunder that seemed to split the air right above the house. I had lied. I hadn’t been truthful with Kat or Mom. My hands slowly lowered until the knife and fork touched my plate again. I closed my eyes for what must surely be coming from Mom.

In the Fall of the previous year, we had been talking about holiday preparations. I knew I was going to be returning home to Mom, anything else was unacceptable. Mom demanded I was home for special occasions and although I stayed as little as I could, my presence was always demanded.

The more Kat talked about her family’s Thanksgiving the more envious I felt. Rather than just two people eating in silence and waiting for the clock to tick away, Kat talked about having her large extended family over. They would play parlour games, share a nice meal and have fun. It was a completely alien concept to me. When Kat invited me to join her, I desperately wanted to say yes. In fact, I told her it wouldn’t be a problem and the plans were made.

I knew Mom would never allow me to go off to someone else’s house for Thanksgiving. She would see it as a betrayal, and I would’ve never heard the end of it. I decided to do something I never really did. I lied to Mom. Knowing that just telling her I preferred to spend the holiday somewhere else wasn’t going to be good enough I had to have a reason. I told her that I was going to be studying extra hard, doing some extra classes and joining a study group. I said I had to stay at the college, just this once, to make sure I got the best grades. I was still surprised when Mom grudgingly agreed.

So, instead of heading home for Thanksgiving, I travelled with Kat to her family home. It was everything Kat had described and more. Everyone was so warm and friendly. I was included in everything as if I really was a member of the family. I never wanted to leave. It opened up a world I’d never experienced. One where you were happy to spend time with your family. They even invited me back for Christmas, but I knew that would’ve been an impossible sell to Mom.

“I see.” Mom said as she started eating another mouthful. I sniffed.

“I don’t understand…” Kat said, “Is there a problem?”

“None at all.” Mom said, “It sounds like you both had a wonderful time.”

The words were like twisting knives. Mom had discovered I’d lied. I was actually surprised that I wasn’t already over the table receiving the almightiest spanking ever imagined. Mom keeping a control on her temper was even scarier than her punishments. I trembled as I waited for the other shoe to drop.

“Alice, would you help with the washing up, please?” Mom said.

I nodded my head and was only too happy to get away from the table even if it was only a few feet. I stood up and took my plate to the sink and started running the faucet. I was looking to stay out of the way until Kat left. I heard chairs behind me scraping and Kat starting to sound like she was about to go. She sounded confused but also aware that her welcome had been worn out. It was just as I thought I was going to get away without any more disasters when I felt Mom’s hand unceremoniously grope my ass. I dropped the plate into the sink.

“You need a change.” Mom said casually.

“I… I…” How could I privately tell Mom to please wait until after Kat had left when she was standing right behind us? Surely Mom wasn’t going to do what she usually did…

“Get the supplies ready.” Mom said as she patted my backside a couple of times, “I’ll be up to help you in a minute.”

“Help?” Kat asked with a frown.

This was a disaster. I had a split second to make a decision, to try and rescue some dignity. I had told Kat about the accidents, but she knew nothing of me being changed by Mom or any of the other weird baby stuff that had slipped into my life. Just seeing Mom so brazenly check me must’ve shocked Kat.

“M-Maybe you should leave.” I quickly said. It came out more abrupt and rude than I had planned but I was in a hurry.

“Oh…” Kat said. Her eyes didn’t leave me. She spoke slowly, “I guess I should.”

“In this weather?” Mom shook her head. As if to emphasise her point thunder rolled over head, “It’s far too dangerous. You’ll have to stay the night until the storm dies down.”

I thought I might throw up. The weather was indeed dreadful and if I wasn’t in such a weird situation I would’ve been happy for Kat to stay with us. But this was anything but a normal situation. My eyes were wide, and I could see that Kat was aware of how uncomfortable I was but, just like me, she was soon swept up in the eye of the storm that was my Mom.

“I… I guess I could… I don’t want to be a bother.” Kat said.

“It’s no bother at all.” Mom replied as she took my hand, “Come on, we can get the airbed out.”

“Mom, please… Can we talk about this!?” I begged as I was pulled up the hallway. My free hand went down to the waistband of my pants as I tried to make sure they didn’t slip down.

“I’m not going to make your poor friend risk her life driving with a storm outside.” Mom replied.

“That’s not what I want to talk about!” I exclaimed.

I knew where this was going. Mom was going to change my diaper, and Kat was coming with us. There was little I could do. If she hadn’t planned to humiliate me like this before the revelations at the dinner table certainly swayed her. Mom had no concerns about me being changed in front of my best friend, I could feel the last link with normalcy starting to fray and Mom was holding a pair of scissors ready to cut it completely. The one person who hadn’t judged me for my diapers was about to see just how pathetic I was. I looked behind me to see Kat following us as we went up the stairs. It felt like I was on the way to the gallows.

“Hopefully the storm will blow itself out in the night.” Mom said casually over her shoulder to my confused friend, “Are you travelling far?”

“Well, I’ve got some friends in town I was going to visit.” Kat said, “Look, if it’s too much trouble I ca-…”

“Oh, lovely.” Mom cut Kat off with authority, “I always told Alice she should see her friends more but she always preferred hiding up in her room.”

I was aghast. I didn’t know which bit of what was happening offended me the most. Mom never let me have any close friends with her overbearing nature. It was almost impossible for me to get permission to have sleepovers or even after school visits because Mom always insisted, I had to do all my homework and a lengthy list of chores first. There was never enough time to do it all. The idea she encouraged me to be sociable was ridiculous!

“Really? That’s not the Alice I know.” Kat said quietly.

My eyes widened and I strained to look over my shoulders as we reached the top of stairs. I shook my head as quickly and pointedly as I could. The last thing I needed Mom to hear about was the parties and drinking. I was never the wildest student, but I knew even a single beer would be blown out of proportion by Mom.

We went down the landing and into my bedroom. My heart hammered as Kat followed us in. I was still trying to think of a way of halting what now seemed like an unstoppable process. Before I could think about a way to get Kat out of the room, Mom pulled on my pants, and they came swiftly down exposing my diaper. I gasped and, in my fright, I felt a little more pee leak into the already very wet padding. I was facing away from Kat and as my face lit up like a beacon.

“Oh my… I’ll, erm, wait outside.” Kat mumbled quickly behind me.

“Could you get the airbed out of the closet, Kathleen?” Mom had been insisting on using Kat’s full name all evening.

“I just thought…” Kat mumbled. She was very clearly unsure how to proceed in such a strange situation, “Well, I thought Alice might like some privacy for… you know.”

“Her diaper change?” Mom asked, “No, no, she’s fine. The airbed and pump are in the closet. If you want to start getting to work on that I’ll have your friend ready to play very soon.”

I felt like my heart had dropped out of my chest, fallen past my stomach and ended up somewhere down in the region of my knees. Mom had all but told Kat she was the one who changed me. I thought for a second that I might throw up. I felt a hand in my back.

“Come on.” Mom said, “The sooner we get you changed the sooner you can go back to playing with your friend.”

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