From College to Crib

Chapter Description: Alice is left trying to get on with her life but things just keep spiralling downwards.

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Thankfully, Mom left the room after my punishment was complete. It seemed that she was confident the lesson had been driven home. I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked again at the diaper. I couldn’t believe I’d soaked it so completely. I felt like a nervous wreck and whether that was what had started the problem or not it only seemed to be getting worse.

Deciding I had better get changed before Mom came back to check on me, I pulled at the tapes on the diaper. They came apart with a loud tearing noise that made me cringe. It sounded so loud I expected even downstairs, Mom would’ve heard it. I pulled the front of the disposable away from my body and immediately smelt the air getting worse. With no diaper to hold it back the ammonia smell of urine almost made me choke. I looked down and saw the yellowed padding, the moisture against my skin felt chilly whereas the padding itself was still very warm. It felt good to stand up and be out of the diaper though. A few seconds of normalcy before I taped a new one on.

I wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing as I balled the diaper up and used the tapes to hold it closed. I dropped it on the floor and looked at the fresh disposable. I couldn’t help feeling a sinking feeling, that this was just the start. I wanted the diapers to be temporary until my issues improved but there was a nagging voice telling me they wouldn’t. I thought about wearing diapers for good and it sent a chill down my spine.

“You don’t need them.” I said to myself in an attempt to calm my nerves, “It IS temporary.”

I taped the new diaper on in the same way I had done the previous night. When I stood up it became clear how much louder they were when dry. It was a little loose again too, I seemed to have real trouble working out the tapes. There was no way I was going to ask Mom to help me though. I got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast feeling keenly aware of just how loud my diaper sounded to me.

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Awkward. That was how I would describe things now. It was impossible to forget about the diaper between my legs when it invaded every one of my senses. Unfortunately, Mom wasn’t going to let me mope around and hide upstairs, I had to go down to the living room and act as if everything was normal. Mom was sat in her armchair, dozing off in front of the television, whilst I had the couch, it was far from comfortable as I did everything I could to avoid moving a muscle, to avoid a single crinkle.

There were some things that couldn’t be avoided forever though. I needed the toilet. Even worse, I needed to poop. I knew that by Mom’s rules that meant I was supposed to tell her, and she would help me go to the bathroom. The thought of doing that made me shiver. I still had some pride left!

I looked over to Mom to see that her eyes were closed. Maybe I had a chance. I moved as slowly as I could whilst bearing in mind that I needed to get the bathroom before I ended up having an accident regardless. Every small crinkle made me wince, it all felt extremely loud to me. Somehow, I was able to get up and out of the room without Mom stirring. Once I was out of the bedroom, I walked quickly upstairs with the need for the toilet seemingly growing the closer I got to it.

I reached the bathroom and quickly pulled down my pants. I had to be a bit more careful with the tapes of the diaper which made loud ripping sounds as they came off the front of the disposable. Undoing the top two fasteners was enough to be able to shimmy the padding down my legs so that I could sit down and do my business.

Once I was finished and cleaned up, I actually felt rather accomplished. I pulled the diaper back up and Mom would never know what happened. Any chance I got to sneak away like that I would take it, the risk of getting caught was well-worth avoiding the humiliation of having to ask Mom to take me to the toilet like a three-year-old.

I got the diaper back up and did my best to tape it up. It didn’t quite feel right, not as tight as when Mom did it, but it would do. I crept back downstairs and quietly sat back down. Mom hadn’t moved an inch, and I couldn’t help but smile at my small act of rebellious victory. I put my feet up on the couch and laid back, a nap seemed like a good idea, and I closed my eyes with the quiet sounds of the TV lulling me into a relaxed sleep.

When I was suddenly jolted back to consciousness I didn’t know if I had been laying on the couch for a couple of minutes or a couple of hours. All I knew was that something felt very wrong. With my eyes still closed I tried to work out what the problem was. The diaper felt warm, and I felt my breath catch in my chest as I realised I had wet myself, but that wasn’t so bad with the diaper on, at least I had been prepared. But then I moved a little and felt the couch cushions underneath me. They were wet.

I couldn’t help but gasp and clamp a hand to my mouth as I quickly sat up. Looking down I could see that my pants had a large stain and so too did the couch. Straight away I started thinking about how I could hide what had happened, but I knew it was hopeless, there really was only one explanation and Mom would know that as soon as she saw what had happened. It was only a matter of time. The only choice was whether I told Mom what had happened myself or waited for her to find out. Maybe owning up to everything would get me a little credit. I turned to face Mom and took a deep breath as I tried to calm my nerves.

“Mom?” I said with a shaky voice.

“Hmm?” Mom grunted sleepily without opening her eyes.

“Mom, I…” I didn’t know how to put this, “I… had an accident.”

“That’s OK.” Mom replied, “The diapers are there for that.”

“No, Mom, it’s… I… Well, I leaked.” I finally said. I looked down at the floor in shame and embarrassment at the admission.

Mom may have been asleep just a few seconds ago but she was quickly standing up and walking past me to the couch. I closed my eyes tightly and tensed up. Mom didn’t say anything as she moved back to stand in front of me. She leaned down and roughly yanked my pants down, my knees shook as my diaper was exposed.

“What’s this?” Mom demanded to know.

“I… I d-don’t know what you mean.” I stuttered.

I expected Mom to shout at me. What I didn’t expect was her to grab my wrist and pull me over to the armchair I had been sitting in. She sat down and pulled me across her lap, it didn’t seem she minded that I was now leaking on her a little, maybe she was too angry to notice.

I had barely had a chance to get ready for what was about to happen when a spank pushed me forwards and made me yelp. The thicker padding protected me somewhat, but I could still feel Mom’s hand clearly. As it compressed the padding it squeezed out some of the urine which tickled my skin as it ran down to the front of the diaper. My poor ass was already bruised as it started receiving a fresh smacking.

Mom alternated spanks. One would be on my left cheek and the next on the right one. All I could do was make exclamations of pain and kick my legs out. It felt like the padding was getting compressed by the sheer number of smacks until it felt like it was offering no protection at all. When Mom finally stopped, she still prevented me from standing up. I had tear all over my face and my hair was plastered to my cheeks. I must’ve looked like a complete mess.

“Tell me.” Mom said, “Why am I spanking you?”

“Because…” I sniffed back tears that were shimmering in my eyes, “Because I leaked.”

“Wrong.” Mom replied.

“I… Ah! Wait!” Before I had a chance to think about why Mom was truly upset the spanking had restarted.

My ass had already been stinging and the small break in my punishment had allowed all the blood to return to the surface. So, when Mom started spanking me again it was even more painful. This time my emotions started to get the better of me and the tears I had been valiantly holding back poured down my face. Losing my composure completely I started bawling as I fell limp across Mom’s lap. The spanking didn’t relent until my face was a mess of tears, saliva, and snot. I was in such a state I didn’t even realise when Mom had initially stopped. My whole butt had gone a strange kind of numb, but I knew the pain would be back with a vengeance when the blood returned.

“Try again and think about it this time.” Mom said, “Why are you being spanked?”

My initial thought was to reply “Because you’re an overly strict bitch who expects too much” but I swallowed the words back down. I was pretty sure if I said them, I wouldn’t be able to walk for a month. Instead, I realised my mistake from the last time I had been asked the question. The leak wasn’t the issue, it was the result of the real problem.

“B-Because…” I stuttered as my sobs interrupted me, “I didn’t come to you when I needed the toilet… and I took my diaper off without permission.”

“Correct.” Mom said. She leaned back meaning the pressure was off my back, “Did you think I wouldn’t be able to tell you had messed with your diaper? So, what will you do in the future?”

I climbed off Mom’s lap and crouched on the floor wincing. The feeling was returning to my posterior and along with it was the stinging pain that seemed to go deep inside me. The whole area felt like it was throbbing. I slowly climbed to my feet with both hands behind me on the back of my diaper gingerly rubbing and wincing.

“I’ll… follow the rules.” I said as I looked at the floor.

“Be more specific.” Mom demanded, “What will you do?”

“Oh, come on!” My emotions were out of whack, and I looked up at Mom with anger, “This is ridiculous! I’ve got the point!”

“How dare you talk back to me!” Mom stood up from the couch, “Wait right there, young lady.”

I’d really made a mistake. I closed my eyes and cursed myself for letting my anger get the better of me. I should’ve just jumped through the hoops Mom set up for me and retreated to my room, instead it was all going to continue. I just couldn’t seem to help making trouble for myself.

Mom left the room and stomped upstairs. I was left to worry about what was going to happen. I thought for sure Mom was retrieving a paddle or something, my already bruised butt trembled in fear at more abuse.

A couple of minutes later Mom returned. I chanced a look and saw she was carrying another diaper as well as baby powder and wipes. I actually thought I was getting off lightly, a diaper change would’ve been very welcome right then, not a punishment at all.

“Open up.” Mom demanded as she placed the changing supplies on the couch.

“I…” I wasn’t sure what Mom meant but the moment I went to speak I felt something being shoved into my mouth. It took me a couple of seconds to realise what it was. My eyes widened as Mom held the item against my lips.

“If you can’t help talking back then you can suck on that.” Mom said, “Maybe it will teach you some manners. If you’re going to have tantrums like a baby, then you can act like one.”

It was a pacifier. My mouth was filled with the taste of latex and the plastic mouth guard bobbed against my lips. I looked up at Mom begging for mercy, but she was already turning back and lifting up an old vinyl changing mat, it must’ve been last used when I was a baby.

“You’ll keep that in unless I tell you otherwise.” Mom said as she laid out the mat on the floor, “And I don’t just mean tonight.”

I whimpered. Mom was expecting me to keep a pacifier in my mouth like some kind of toddler. I’d really made a mess of things for myself. My saliva had soon coated the bulb lying on my tongue which at least took away the bad taste, but it felt unnatural. It felt as if there was an invader in my mouth and every urge I had was to spit it out.

“Get down here.” Mom demanded once the old changing mat had been laid out.

Any fight I had previously was gone. I got down on my back with my feet on the floor either side of Mom who was on her knees just below my diaper. I had been through a lot of embarrassments in the previous few weeks but having Mom change my leaky diaper on the floor whilst I sucked on my pacifier was taking things to another level. I was feeling less like an adult who had experienced a few accidents and more like a naughty toddler just after a tantrum. I could only imagine what Ket would’ve said if she saw me like that.

“I can’t believe I’m having to do all this at your age.” Mom said crossly.

“You don’t-…” I started. My words were slurred slightly from the pacifier.

“Quiet. Little girls are to be seen and not heard.” Mom stated.

I wanted to argue but didn’t dare. I just quietly sniffed and chewed on the pacifier as Mom opened up my diaper. I lifted my hands and covered my face in embarrassment as Mom started to change me. I couldn’t believe the depths to which I was falling to. In my worst nightmares I hadn’t considered that coming home to Mom was going to be as bad as it was. Not for the first or last time, I wondered how on Earth I had found myself in this position.

Mom continued to mutter darkly about how I broke the rules as she used baby wipes to clean me up. When she rubbed them over my backside I winced, I didn’t think I’d be able to sit down comfortably for a while. It seemed to take forever before I was finally in a fresh diaper. I quickly tried to grab my clothes to cover it up, but Mom snatched them away from me.

“Since I can’t trust you to not touch your diaper without permission you will keep it on display.” Mom stated, “That way we can avoid more leaks, and I’ll know when you need to change.”

I wanted to argue but could only suck on my soother. Mom’s brutal logic may have been twisted but it made sense. There was nothing I could say or do to make things better for myself, I only ever made my situation worse. As soon as Mom was finished, I hurried out of the living room. My diaper crinkled loudly with every movement and with no clothes in the way there was nothing to dampen the noise. I sat at her computer and did my best not to move a muscle. I wiped my face with the tissues on my desk and tried to get a handle on my emotions, they seemed to be all over the place. As soon as my messenger loaded up, I saw I had a lot of messages from Kat.

“Where are you?”

“Is everything OK?”

“Talk to me!”

The messages spread over a long period of time. I had really been trying to avoid my best friend as much as possible and I cursed that she was such a good person that she wouldn’t just abandon me. There was no way I could explain to her what was going on.

I contented myself with a quick reply saying things were fine. I knew it wasn’t convincing, but I hoped it would at least stop Kat from prying. As soon as the message was sent, I closed the messenger and started playing a game. It felt good to be able to actually forget about my real life for a little bit. With my headphones on I couldn’t even hear the diaper as I played. For a glorious little while everything felt normal, even if I did still have the pacifier in my mouth. I couldn’t risk taking it out and being caught by Mom.

I played for as long as I could but eventually felt a need for the toilet. I paused my game and took a deep breath. I knew already that this was about to be one of the most humiliating moments of my life and, after recent events, that was saying something.

Even though I knew I couldn’t put it off forever I still waited for as long as possible before I stood up. As soon as I did so I knew I had risked waiting too long. Gravity took hold, and my bladder sphincter started to strain under the effort of holding back the flood. My hands went to my crotch, and I started running from the room. My control, which had been far from good recently seemed to be getting worse and worse. Just standing up was putting an intolerable pressure on my bladder. I spat out the pacifier which landed on my desk.

“Mom! Mom!” I shouted, “I need the bathroom!”

I was blushing hard as I shouted like a potty-training toddler. I danced from one foot to the other but after a few seconds I was still waiting for Mom to respond. With a moan I started hurrying down the stairs as fast as I dared.

“Mom!” I shouted again in desperation.

“What is it? What’s all this fuss?” Mom asked as she appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

“I need the bathroom!” I exclaimed, “Right now!”

Why had I left it so late!? Curse my stubborn attempts to delay inevitable humiliation! My hands were pressing over the front of my diaper whilst my legs crossed. I was doing anything and everything I could to stop from wetting myself right there on the stairs. Even then I wasn’t sure how effective I was being, I felt like I was seconds away from my bladder releasing regardless.

“Come on then.” Mom said as she pointed up the stairs.

I turned around and moved as quickly as I could. It was difficult, I could no longer run as I was sure I would lose control if I did. Instead, I had to take small shuffling steps whilst pressing my legs together as much as possible. I was whining without noticing and when I crossed the threshold into the bathroom, I looked at the toilet longingly. It was the promised land. So close and yet still so far away.

Mom was taking her time coming up the stairs and as I neared breaking point, I yelled for her to hurry up. Just as Mom reached the doorway, I felt a trickle of urine dampen the padding. My arms and legs shook as I tried to hold it all back for just a little longer. To be stood at the finishing line with no way to cross it on my own was torturous.

“Hurry!” I moaned desperately.

Mom leaned forwards and pulled the first tape off the diaper. She had just started the second tape when I lost control completely. The padding at the front of the disposable started rapidly darkening and I could feel heat spreading quickly. With an exclamation of defeat, I pulled away from Mom’s hands and sat back on the toilet seat. Any lingering resistance disappeared, and I started to flood the diaper. I leaned forwards and put my face in my hands as I felt my urine blossoming all throughout the padding. I let out a sob and stamped a foot in frustration.

“See!?” I cried out desperately as I looked up, my eyes filled with tears, “I could’ve made it! I could’ve…”

My words disappeared into tears as I felt the diaper grow wetter and wetter. The padding started to sag beneath my butt and after waiting so long there was a lot to come out. I sat, red faced and with tears running down my cheeks, as Mom watched in silence. It felt like minutes were passing and I still wet myself, even after the stream turned to a trickle. Mom remained silent the whole time. She simply continued to stare right between my legs. Her expression was unreadable. It certainly wasn’t sympathy or empathy, which most people would be entitled to expect after an embarrassment like I was experiencing.

“Oh dear…” Mom said with a sigh of disappointment.

“I could’ve made it…” I said as sobs started to force their way out of my mouth making my body shake slightly.

“But you didn’t.” Mom replied, “Honestly, at your age…”

I barely heard Mom. I had my face covered with my hands as I cried like a baby. I didn’t understand why all this was happening. I needed to rewind time to back before my college finals had been starting, back before I didn’t suddenly have all sorts of toilet-related troubles, back when I was still happy.

“Come on.” Mom said with a long sigh, “Let’s get you changed… again.”

The tone of Mom’s voice only made me cry harder. I could hear the note of disappointment borne from needing to treat her adult daughter like a difficult toddler. As much as I cried that it wasn’t my fault, I wasn’t even sure how much I believed it. How many times could I excuse accidents before I accepted that they were happening too often to be considered coincidences?

I stood up and, purely out of habit, reached around to flush the toilet. Obviously, I didn’t need to, everything that I’d done had ended up in the diaper. The disposable had swelled up dramatically and whilst a dry one made me waddle a little, it was when they were wet that my legs were really forced apart. My butt swayed behind me as I did my best to walk normally.

I could feel the rivulets of warm urine running against my skin and the thick padding getting pressed against me. Every movement really reinforced just what I had done. I felt so pathetic and small. Mom led me back into my bedroom and whilst I went straight over to my bed she retrieved a fresh diaper from the drawer. I wanted to argue that I should go back to regular panties, that it was the diaper which had prevented me from reaching the toilet on time, but when I was standing in a completely soaked diaper it felt like a difficult argument to make. It wasn’t like Mom was likely to listen to me even if I had made it to the toilet on time.

“Lay down.” Mom ordered after she had spread the changing mat over my sheets.

I did as I was told. I was unsurprised when Mom pushed my pacifier back between my lips. Maybe I should’ve been grateful she wasn’t punishing me for taking it out. Small victories. To my shame it did slow down my crying. Mom gave me a look and I knew that she was telling me that I was to keep that in until further notice. I sucked a couple of times on the amber teat and felt it sooth me just a little bit.

Mom didn’t say a word as she pulled off the remaining tapes on the diaper. I felt the front come down and the chill of the air on my skin. I laid back and just let Mom get on with changing me. By this point I knew that if she wanted my assistance she would ask, until then I was expected to do nothing. I just closed my eyes and thought about something else as Mom wiped me clean, pulled the wet diaper out and then slipped a dry one underneath me.

“Try to keep this one dry.” Mom said unnecessarily as she pulled it up between my legs and taped it closed.

“I have been trying…” I muttered sulkily around the pacifier in my mouth.

Mom seemed unconvinced. I felt a flash of anger. Did she think I WANTED to keep wetting and pooping myself? Thankfully, I was soon left alone as Mom took the used diaper and left the room leaving me still on the bed with my pacifier. I wasn’t going to dare to take it out, if she barged back in and saw I wasn’t using it I would be a in a world of trouble.

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