From College to Crib

Chapter Description: After the embarrassment at the DMV, Alice Mom has an idea on how to help her daughter... whether she wants the help or not.

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After washing my hair and using a little more than usual of my scented body wash, I shut off the water and stepped out into the bathroom. I dried my hair and then wrapped a towel around my chest before stepping out on to the landing that now felt a lot colder than before. I went back to my bedroom and straight over to my chest of drawers. I didn’t trust myself to be unpadded, especially after that morning, so I slipped a pull-up on over my still damp crotch and then sat down in front of my computer with the towel still wrapped around me.

No sooner had I logged in than I was hit by the customary message of greeting by Kat. I responded and she asked me how I was doing. I immediately typed out that I was fine but then I paused. I sat back in the chair as I stared at the screen.

Clearly, I wasn’t fine. I’d never felt less fine. My life was spiralling out of control and somehow my domineering mother had a tighter grip on me now than she did before I went to college. The humiliations, whether caused by the stress or not, weren’t going way either. If anything, things were getting worse for me.

To make matters worse, I felt utterly alone. I hadn’t had many friends growing up thanks to Mom’s strict control of my life. Going to college I had finally made friends and found out who I was, I had people who cared about me. Kat was my best friend and yet it felt like the connection between us was being pulled so tight it was about to tear. I was freezing her out through shame at a time when I had never felt more alone, a time where I desperately needed a friend.

I deleted the message I had typed in and started spilling my guts. I wrote in long paragraphs everything that had happened since I came home. I spared no detail in describing my humiliations and fears about things getting worse, I reached the point I was at, having talked about that morning’s humiliating accident and then I paused again.

The message was there and ready to be sent. All I had to do was press enter and it would fire away down the wires and all the way to Kat’s computer. She would know everything and surely understand why I hadn’t been talking to her recently. My finger hovered over the enter key, but I couldn’t press it. What if she saw the message and instantly blocked me? What if she didn’t want me as a friend anymore? She had signed up to friends with the mature, fun-loving girl she had met at college, not the anxious half-incontinent mess I had become in the short time afterwards.

Downstairs I heard the front door opening. It seemed to make the decision for me. I highlighted the message I had typed out and deleted it.

“Fine.” I said simply, “I have to go.”

I expected either no response or a simple one saying goodbye. That isn’t what happened though. I saw the messenger saying that Kat was typing and then almost immediately there was a response. Several of them, in fact, spread over several short messages that Kat was clearly keen to send before I disappeared again.

“WAIT!” The first message said and then continued in several more, “I saw you were typing for a long time and then you say “fine”? You’ve been acting weird since you got home. What’s going on?”

I didn’t reply. My heart was hammering, and I heard Mom’s footsteps coming up the stairs. I didn’t know what to say. Of course, Kat was right, things weren’t “fine” at all but I had lost my nerve. I couldn’t tell her the truth and sever one of my few contacts to a world outside the house no matter how tenuous the connection became.

“I’ve got to go.” I quickly typed out, “Sorry.”

I shut down the computer before Kat had a chance to reply. I didn’t want any more awkward questions. I decided to go and lay down on my bed with a book, it would probably do me some good to forget about the real world for at least a little bit. No sooner had I opened to where I had left my bookmark than my phone vibrated. I picked it up and was surprised to see it was a text message from Kat.

“If something is going on you know you can tell me.” Kat had typed.

I quickly swiped the text away and put the phone back on my bedside table. I did indeed know that I could speak to my best friend about nearly anything, but I considered this an exception. It was pointless worrying her, there was nothing she could do, and I hadn’t given up hope that things might suddenly get better on their own.

Kat must’ve got the message because she didn’t try to message me again. I tried to immerse myself in the fantasy world of my book, but it was difficult to do, my brain was still focusing on the real world. Everything from my ultimate humiliation earlier that day to Kat’s messages floated around my head endlessly. Eventually I must’ve fallen asleep because I suddenly came to with the sound of the front door closing. My book was still open and laying on my chest. I checked the clock to see that it was nearly dinner time.

“Alice!” Mom called, “Get down here!”

My first thought was that Mom had found something else to complain at me for. I placed the bookmark in between the pages of the novel I was reading and put it next to my phone. I stood up and walked downstairs feeling nervous, I couldn’t remember doing anything that contravened one of Mom’s rules but if there was something I could be sure she’d find it.

“Alice, could you help set the table for dinner.” Mom said. She was standing at the kitchen counter and had seemingly brought home takeaway, that was very unusual, but I assumed she didn’t think she’d have time to cook.

As I quietly got to work getting out plates and cutlery I noticed another bag. This one was opaque, and I couldn’t see what was in it. Mom had left it on the counter a little apart from the food, I immediately didn’t have a good feeling about it as I turned back to my assigned task. When I put the plates down Mom started dishing out the food. She’d brought home a delicious looking Chinese meal for us both, my mouth was watering immediately. I worried that there was an ulterior motive as to why this was happening.

“Thanks Mom.” I said quietly as I sat down in front of my plate.

“Eat up.” Mom replied, “Then we have something to discuss.”

There it was. The familiar lead weight of worry dropped into my stomach. I didn’t know what Mom wanted to talk about, but I could be almost certain that I wouldn’t like it. My eyes drifted back over to the bag on the counter.

I picked up my knife and fork and started eating. Though the food was delicious I felt little in the way of appetite. I was too worried to really enjoy what I was eating no matter how good it nominally was. We ate in silence with my eyes continually flicking over to the bag, I wished Mom would just tell me what was going on, the tension was making everything so much worse. I finished my meal first and had to sit and wait for Mom, when she was finally done, she started picking up the plates and cutlery. My foot was tapping on the floor impatiently.

“So, Alice, after you embarrassed me this morning…” Mom started.

“I embarrassed YOU!?” I exclaimed before I could stop myself.

“Of course you did.” Mom replied with a shake of her head, “How do you think I felt that my adult daughter soiled herself like that?”

My mouth hung open. I couldn’t believe Mom was making this about her. I was the one who had been humiliated and yet she was claiming to be the hurt party. Her lack of consideration for me was astounding, I was so shocked that I ended up lost for words. My mouth opened and closed uselessly as I shook my head.

“Anyway, as I was saying…” Mom said as if my interruption had been without reason, “After what happened at the DMV this morning, I’ve decided we need to make changes.”

I waited. I didn’t like the sound of this at all and as Mom got up to retrieve the plastic bag I liked it even less. The bag was placed on the kitchen table before she reached into it for a large rectangular package. I held my breath but when I saw what she was pulling out I was unable to hold my tongue at all. Diapers! She was pulling out a pack of diapers!

“No!” I exclaimed as I pushed my chair back from the table, “Absolutely not!”

“This isn’t a choice.” Mom replied as she set the packet down on the table.

I looked at the thin plastic with disgust. Cuddlebutts didn’t exactly sound like the most grown-up and medical incontinence wear around. In fact, the more I looked at them the more I noticed other differences. There was no wetness indicator, there was no pretence that these were for small medical problems. These diapers had a smiling puppy face on the front and an equally happy bunny one on the back. They looked like diapers for helpless babies. I’d never seen anything like them. Surely if they were for babies there was no way they would fit me.

“Like I said, this isn’t a choice.” Mom said as I remained frozen like a statue, “Those pull-ups are designed only for small leaks. What you’ve been doing to them is not what they were made for.”

“I… I… You can’t…” I had so many objections it was hard to get my mind to focus on any of them.

“I can and I will.” Mom said, “I’ll put you in one for bed and then I think it’s best you stay in them until you learn to keep your pants clean.”

“But… How will I use the toilet?” I asked. I felt sick and a little dizzy, “I can’t just pull those down.”

“It’s not like you were doing that anyway.” Mom replied. Her stinging jibe at my various accidents hurt but it was also untrue. I had still used the toilet plenty of times, “Now, there will of course be rules. I want you to come to me when you need to be changed, I don’t think I can trust you quite yet to do it yourself.”

“Mom, please…” I sniffed as my eyes filled with tears. This was a worst-case scenario. I was seriously contemplating leaving and just living on the streets instead of complying with her demands.

“It’s only for the short term.” Mom said as if I was being unreasonable to complain, “As soon as you start acting like an adult again you can have your panties back.”

I had nothing left to say. I stared at the packet of diapers like a person might stare at a gun pointed right at them, they felt like the end of everything I knew. Mom had said they were temporary but so far every change she had made had stuck. I didn’t know how I could move forwards, I felt trapped.

“How… How can I prove I can… act like an adult again?” I asked as tears threatened to roll down my face, “If I can’t take that diaper off? If I can’t use the toilet?”

“I want you to come to me and tell me when you need to go potty.” Mom said as if this was a reasonable thing to say to your adult daughter, “That way you can show me you know when you need to go.”

I baulked at the idea of running to Mom every time I needed the bathroom. Surely, she couldn’t expect me to actually do that. As I looked into her eyes I saw no hint of a joke. My shoulders slumped. This was really happening. How had I sunk this far?

“Now, take them up to your room.” Mom said as she pushed the packet across to me, “We’ll sort them out before bedtime. I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

I remained in my chair for several more seconds trying to really process what was happening. It felt sort of surreal. The package in front of me was brightly coloured and the thin plastic did very little to conceal what was inside. I could see the ridges of individual… I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word.

“Mom, this is too much!” I said. The note of desperation was clear even in my own voice. I could feel the tears welling up and no matter how much I tried to keep my composure they were threatening to fall.

Mom walked around the table, and I couldn’t react in time. She pinched my ear, and I squealed as she, none too gently, “suggested” I stand up. I was still squealing as she bent me over the table. The skirt I was wearing was flipped up and the pull-up pulled down revealing my bare backside.

“No! Mom! I’m sorry!” I exclaimed from my awkward position. Even with my head turned to the side I could barely get my words out.

The first spank quickly shut me up. The old familiar feeling of the stinging slap sending shockwaves through my body. The second made me shudder and tense my backside. The third caused the first sobs and after that everything became a blur. At first, I maintained my composure even as my ass was tanned by my Mom’s hand, but that didn’t last for long. Soon I was struggling against her and kicking my legs out. Tears and snot ran down my face and into my hair that was covering my face as I begged for mercy.

By the time Mom had finished I was panting hard and my butt had gone numb. I knew from experience the numbness was preferable to what would come afterwards. The stinging and potential bruising. Mom’s hands let me go and I collapsed back on my chair. She handed me some tissues and I cleaned myself up as best I could.

“You need to listen to me. I’m just trying to help you.” Mom said casually.

I said nothing. It didn’t feel like I was getting help. In fact, it seemed like Mom was actively making the situation worse whether she knew it or not. I swallowed hard as I reached forwards and picked up the diapers. I felt disgust at what was inside. The thin packaging held the diapers tightly together making the whole thing feel solid. My fingers traced some of the ridges and I winced at just how big the disposables felt.

I wasn’t going to defy Mom any longer. Not whilst she was in such a punishing mood. Instead, I pulled up my pull-up, picked up the diapers and carried them up to my room. When I dropped them on the bed I turned away in disgust. It was horrible to think that in a matter of mere hours I would be taped up in one. The independent Alice who had learned so much at college felt a million miles away from what was happening in that house.

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