From College to Crib

Chapter Description: Alice is left trying to get on with her life but things just keep spiralling downwards. Alice is in an old hangout with some old friends. For a a little while she is able to forget everything that has been going on... until they are found.

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“So, how was college?” Craig asked as he cracked open his own beer.

After so long where the only conversation we had was wishing each other well at birthdays and Christmas on social media we had a lot of catching up to do. It was nice talking to the boys again as well, they really had been my two best friends growing up and it was nice that they seemed as keen to renew acquaintances as I was. Besides, the more I could avoid the rest of the party the better.

“Oh, you know, it was cool. Everything’s great.” I lied. I wasn’t about to tell the people I’d just reconnected with that I’d messed everything up.

We talked for a while, and it was great. All the worries that had been crowding my brain and demanding my attention seemed to fade away as we sat together behind that shed, in our own little world.

After ten minutes or so I felt the sudden need for the bathroom. There was no way I was going to get up and run to Mom to be taken to the toilet. I could worry about my potty training the next day, that evening was for me and my old friends. It wasn’t long until I felt the hot pee trickling into the diaper and getting absorbed, I tried not to let the others know something was happening, but I don’t know how well I managed it. I stared down at my lap and didn’t listen to the conversation until I was finished.

“Here, you must be thirsty.” Craig said. He was holding out another beer.

My first instinct was to turn it down. Mom had told me not to have any alcohol and I was belatedly realising I was just about done with the beer I’d been handed before. I knew it was wrong. My in-built need to follow Mom’s rules threatened to kick in but I pushed it to the side and took the drink anyway. A couple of beers wouldn’t hurt. It hardly seemed to count, this little gap between the shed and the fence was a different world with different rules. Mom simply didn’t need to know what we were doing.

As I popped the lid of the new drink, Tom was pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. I didn’t know that he smoked, I hadn’t seen him do it when we were teenagers. Tom looked up and saw me staring.

“I know, I know…” Tom said, “It’s a horrible habit.”

“I’m not judging.” I replied with a shrug.

“Do you want one?” Tom asked. He held the open packet out.

“I’m alright. I don’t smoke.” I said with a wave of my hand.

“Ah, yes.” Tom took a drag from his cigarette and chuckled, “Miss. Goody-too-shoes wouldn’t do anything like that.”

Craig laughed but I could tell they were just poking a bit of fun. I smiled. Something about those words stung though, they hit very close to home. Although Tom was joking, he wasn’t entirely wrong. I had always been a teenager who did what she was told, I never really had a rebellious phase. When I went to college my Mom would say I went wild but I was still a lot tamer than most of my friends. Kat certainly went harder than me. I never smoked, I never did drugs, I only got blackout drunk a couple of times. To most of the students I was a prude, in Mom’s eyes it would’ve been me acting like some kind of slutty party girl. I was just held to different standards.

“You know what, pass one over.” I said as I reached for the box, “There’s always a first time for everything, right?”

“Are you sure?” Craig asked, “We were just joking. Don’t feel peer-pressured or anything.”

“No, I want to try it.” I said. Maybe it was the relaxed atmosphere or maybe it was the alcohol talking, who could say. I was feeling a little reckless, “Why not?”

“Alright.” Tom held out the box and I pulled one of the cigarettes out.

I’d seen how people smoked these. I put it between my lips, it felt strange and alien, very different to the pacifier I’d grown somewhat accustomed to. I leaned forwards to allow Tom to spark the lighter and hold it to the end of the cigarette.

“Just breathe it in.” Tom advised.

I did as he suggested and almost immediately started violently coughing. The boys laughed and with each convulsion I felt my bladder expel a little more urine into my diaper. My eyes were watering by the time I got my breathing under control.

“And people do this because they like it?” I asked, my voice a little hoarse. I dabbed my eyes with my sleeve.

“It’s an acquired taste.” Tom laughed.

“Want me to take it off your hands?” Craig suggested.

“No, I’m fine.” I replied.

I inhaled again and this time only coughed for a few seconds afterwards. I felt so rebellious back there and hidden from view from Mom. It was almost as intoxicating as the beer I was drinking. For the first time in a long time, I was able to relax, the only thing I had to do was make sure my diaper remained hidden. In the darkness it would’ve been hard to see anything unless I specifically pulled up my dress.

The three of us went back to talking and hanging out. I took a beer every time one was offered to me. Things started to become a bit of a blur, I found myself laughing hysterically at bad jokes and several times had barely noticed as fresh heat bloomed in my underwear. It was very hard to care about anything when hanging out with old friends and having fun. I wanted to stay back there forever.

“Pass me another cigarette.” I said as I leaned forwards. The sudden change in my equilibrium had me swaying a little bit.

“Woah, easy there.” Tom said, “You don’t want a nicotine addiction. Trust me, they’re tough to shift.”

“Alright, dad, just pass me another one.” I giggled. That was how I knew I was at least tipsy. One of the big rules in our house was never to talk about dad, just mentioning the word was dangerous. If Mom heard me talking like that my previous spankings would’ve felt like love taps.

I had just taken the first drag on the cigarette and then necked half the beer I was holding when I felt the atmosphere suddenly change. As I put the beer down, I looked at Tom and Craig to see they were turned towards the entrance to our hiding spot. I turned to the gap we had slipped through and instantly started to sober up. By diaper started flooding with urine as my heart and stomach seemed to drop.

“Mom… I…” I started to stutter. I was holding a half-empty bottle of beer and had a cigarette hanging from my lips. There was simply no way to adequately explain what was happening in a way that would please Mom.

“Alice! Get your butt out here!” Mom shouted.

I shivered and, as I did, I felt a streak of pee go down the inside of my leg. My breath caught in my chest. I was frozen in place. The space that had felt disconnected from the rest of the world had just crashed with reality. I had sprung a leak!

“I think your mom is calling you.” Tom said when I hadn’t moved.

“Don’t make me come in there…” Mom called out.

I stumbled forwards. I dropped the cigarette to the floor and tossed the bottle of beer behind me. How much had I drunk? I hadn’t been paying attention but with each step the ground seemed to move, and I fell against the fence heavily. Mom was getting closer and, illuminated in the light of the backyard, I could say that she was looking furious. I swallowed nervously.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Mom asked crossly as soon as I made my way out of the small gap. To my disappointment Tom and Craig had followed me.

“I was just…” I started. Mom instantly waved her hand in front of her face.

“You’ve been smoking! I can smell it all over your breath!” Mom exclaimed, “And you’re clearly drunk. What did I tell you NOT to do?”

“Mom, please… Can we…” I was slurring slightly. I felt completely sober now, but my body was still under the influence.

“And you’re leaking!” Mom continued as she looked down.

I didn’t know how she could tell. I looked down myself and saw the wet streak on my leg glinting in the light. The bottom of my dress was soggy as well. I looked around the backyard, a lot of people had stopped talking and looked over to the commotion. They were all seeing me, drunk and leaking, a shame on the whole family. My eyes teared up. I turned to Craig and Tom who were staring with mouths hanging open, it was clear they had no idea what to say or do. It felt like, for everyone else, time had stopped.

“I… I…” My mind was breaking. There was no way out of this situation.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, I saw Mom reach into her bag. My breathing became ragged, and when she pulled out my pacifier, I let out a strangled cry. I shook my head, but it did me no good. Mom pressed the pacifier between my lips and then took my hand. I looked back at Tom and Craig who looked more confused than ever. I was pulled through the now silent throngs of the party, only the music was making noise, and it seemed like even that had been turned down.

“Oh my word, is everything OK?” Georgia asked as we approached the door to the house.

“Yes, my little girl’s diaper is leaking though.” Mom spoke loud enough that I thought people in the next street over would hear her, “I didn’t bring a change as I thought she would ask for the potty. Clearly, I was mistaken.”

“Oh… Oh my…” My Aunt replied. Clearly, she didn’t know what else to say. Who would know what to say to such a revelation?

I kept my eyes on the floor as I started to cry. I sucked on the pacifier, finding some kind of infantile relief in the amber bulb that lay flat against my tongue. My whole family had seen this, they knew what I was wearing, they knew I had leaked. I would never, ever be able to show my face around these people again.

“Is it OK if we use your side exit?” Mom asked her sister, “I don’t want to go traipsing through the house making a mess.”

“S-Sure…” Georgia replied, “It should be unlocked. I, erm, hope you feel better soon, Alice.”

I didn’t look up. Feel better? I was never going to live this down. I would be the story people talked about at family reunions. When anyone at the party was asked what they did that weekend they would talk about me. I wanted to curl up and disappear into the ground.

My hand was pulled towards the side gate. I gratefully stepped away from the small puddle forming around my feet and was eager to get away from there. I could only imagine how I must look to these other people. A fully adult woman sucking a pacifier and leaking piss down her legs as she was led away from the party.

“I can’t believe you would do this.” Mom said tersely, “I instructed you NOT to drink alcohol for a reason. You’ve got yourself drunk and now look at you.”

I didn’t really feel drunk. A little tipsy perhaps, but not drunk. I stumbled along behind Mom as we went through the small alley and emerged in the front garden. There were people standing out there socialising who turned to see me getting pulled past. Mom’s car was on the curb in front of the house and as she continued to mutter darkly and roughly yank me forwards most of them stared at us.

“Mom!” I hissed in annoyance. My words were slurred from a mixture of the alcohol and the pacifier. The alcohol was loosening my tongue a little more than usual, “You’re making a thene!”

“I’M making a scene?” Mom exclaimed, “You’re the drunk little girl who soaked her pants!”

“Mom!” I yelled. I tried to yank my hand free of Mom’s grasp, but she just tightened her fingers around my wrist.

Then I did something I had never done before and that I never thought I would do. Perhaps it was the alcohol, maybe it was just the humiliations pushing me too far, but I raised my free hand and reared back with it. Mom must’ve caught sight of movement out of the corner of her eye as she raised a hand of her own and blocked my attempted slap. When I saw the look in her face, I knew I had made a major mistake.

We were next to the car and Mom threw the rear door open. I thought she wanted me to get in as I stuttered apologies through my tears but as I bent over, I felt a push in the back that left me leaning on the seat, my top half in the car and my bottom half basically kneeling on the curb. I gasped and thought for sure that I was flashing the people in the front garden my diaper. I tried to get up but Mom leaned down on me and, to remove any doubt, hiked my dress up until I KNEW I was mooning everyone.

“Mom… Please… Not here… I’m sorry!” I begged as my throat constricted with tears and shame. The pacifier tumbled out of my mouth on to the seat next to me.

“You should’ve thought about that before acting out!” Mom exclaimed. I’d never seen her so angry. She frightened me at the best of times, but she seemed extra scary that night, like a dragon woken from a long slumber.

I was still trying to beg for leniency when I felt the first spank hit the back of my diaper. Thanks to how wet I was the sound of Mom’s hand hitting the plastic created a squelch that echoed in the quiet night. I kicked my legs and beat my hands against the seat. It didn’t hurt, but knowing people were watching, knowing even as I crouched there more people were gathering to see my humiliation was too much to bear. I could practically hear their gasps.

Another spank crashed into my backside, and I let out a little yelp. A third and a fourth were followed by groans and then the fifth through tenth were lost in hysterical crying. It felt like my mind was breaking. Everything that had happened was pushing me to the very edge. There was only so much embarrassment and shame a person could take before they fell apart, I felt like I was reaching that line.

I stopped feeling the spanks at all. It seemed like I had stopped feeling anything. It was almost as if I could feel myself drifting above and away from my body. For a glorious second that seemed to stretch on to infinity it seemed like I was completely disconnected from everything that was happening to me. I was sitting on the roof of the car looking at Mom’s red face and clenched teeth as her hand came forwards for another spank. The sound was muffled, and time seemed to be going slowly. I looked out towards the house and could see most of the people at the party had seemed to have gathered. I saw Tom and Craig had come to the front yard and looked horrified. I tried to give them a wave, to tell them everything was fine and that I wasn’t feeling anything anymore, but they didn’t seem to notice.

I watched Mom’s hand move slowly through the air and as it made contact, I suddenly found myself back in my body. The stinging and bruising of my punishment as real as it had ever been. I grimaced and moaned. Mom finally stopped and after a second pushed me forwards as I climbed into the backseat of the car.

As Mom went to the driver’s seat, I was left curled up in the back with my hands reaching down and gingerly touching my butt. I was sobbing lightly but also wondering what on Earth had just happened to me. It felt like I’d snapped, that my mind had grown completely incapable of coping with the situation I found myself in and shut down. I found myself missing it. That feeling of bliss, of nothing mattering and drifting in a place where nothing could reach me was already missed. I wanted to go back there. I saw my paci on the seat in front of me and scooped it up. I slipped it back into my mouth as I grimaced at the pain.

“Now look at what you made me do.” Mom complained as she turned the key in the ignition, “I’m going to have to explain to the family why I had to do that.”

I was still sniffing back the tears and snot running down my face as I lifted my head up and saw that, indeed, most of the family seemed to have been watching my punishment. They saw my spanking, they saw my diaper, and I could only assume they saw how wet I was. I let my head flop down and closed my eyes. My secret was no longer secret.

“I can’t trust you to be a responsible adult at all.” Mom continued as she drove towards home, “But that’s fine. If that’s the way you want it, then that’s the way you’ll have it.”

I shivered at Mom’s ominous words, but I didn’t have the strength to say anything. I just wanted to lay down and sleep, I felt so exhausted. Somewhere within me I knew I should’ve been more worried than I was, perhaps it would hit me when I had recovered from everything that had happened in the last few minutes.

As the car continued to make for home, I wet myself again. The diaper, already stretched to its limit, made the smallest attempt to hold back the flow. Urine trickled down my thigh and on to the seat, soaking into the fabric beneath me. I knew that it would likely get me in more trouble later but there wasn’t much I could do to stop it.

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