Chapter Description: Sandra continues her journey as she tries to understand why some big girls are babies
It was just as Sandra walked out the door that Kevin started watching the spycam while drinking his morning cup of coffee. He would have been disappointed if he could read Sandra’s latest thoughts as she decided that she was too old to be a baby or be interested in diapers. Just as Kevin was about to turn off the spycam, he noticed that Sandra rushed back in the room. He noticed that she put her pacifier in her school bag. She obvious was still confused. Kevin saved a picture of her putting the pacifier in her bag. He would upload this on her model site. He was surprised that a lot of people already paid for some sets of pictures. There were not a lot of pictures to be seen yet. Still it was nice getting money in, and he could see from the comments, that people thought she was very pretty.
It was a week until the next dance lesson. Sandra was still thinking about Jessica and Amanda. She decided that she would be their friend. Something about them intrigued her. She wondered what their life would be like. What would it like being like them? Sandra experimented with the thought by wearing all the panties she liked the feel of the 9 or 10 panties beneath her legs. She wondered what it would be like to pee freely in a diaper. What would it like being changed? It would most likely be embarrassing. Sandra could not wait until the next dance class. Until then her mind wondered as the first thing she did was put on her panties when she came home and sucked a pacifier while she did her homework. It was a good week for Kevin. He could see the turmoil and curiosity that she was experiencing. He knew she was making panty-diapers and sucking the pacifier when she was alone. Good pictures for the site. He smiled thinking that she would be so embarrassed if she knew how many people seen her pictures. One day she would know. But it would be too late; she will already be famous and have pictures all over the net. At the same time Kevin would at least have some money. Well that was his plan, if she continued being curious.
One day on the way back from school, Sandra was walking alone. Once again her mind was on girls that could not or would not grow up. She took the pacifier out of her bag and put it in her mouth. It calmed her down and it seemed like her head was clear. She continued walking alone as calm as could be. Then her friend Elizabeth came up from behind her. She was of course shocked to see her friend with a pacifier in her mouth.
“Why are you sucking a baby pacifier?”
“Oh, err… I read that children are now doing it in the capital. It’s supposed to be the latest fad.!” Sandra lied as she felt her face going red.
“That is stupid. It looks stupid. You look like a little baby. Take it out before someone sees us!”
“But I like it. It’s relaxing. It clears my head. It’s nice.”
“A cigarette would do the same, doesn’t mean it’s smart to have one.”
Sandra took the pacifier out of her mouth, she felt embarrassed about it. Elizabeth would think she was weird if she knew about the dance class and especially her 9 pairs of panties at once. Why was it so hard being a child?
Monday finally came. Chloe noticed that her daughter was excited in the car as they drove to dance class. She smiled as she weaved through the traffic as her daughter went on and on about dancing and how much she practiced in the last week. Chloe was a proud mother. She couldn’t be happier about the life she had. It was nearly perfect. Listening to her daughter chattering about dance proved it to her. Millions of people would die to have the same life as she had.
Sandra rushed in the changing room. She took her time changing into her leotard. Jessica or Amanda was not there. Sandra frowned and felt like she was at a funeral. She waited all week to see these girls again, and they weren’t even there. Now there was nothing special about this dance class. As Sandra was about to put on her tights, her face lit up when she seen Jessica and Amanda come in. It was like they were her best friends, yet she had never spoken with them. She watched the closely as they took off their clothes. They had cute diapers on. Jessica’s diapers had little fairies on them. Jessica smiled to Sandra as she noticed that the new girl was staring at her. A week ago, Sandra was laughing at a girl with diapers on. This week, she was just staring.
Dancing was hard and Sandra did her best to keep up with the other girls. Deep in her head, she was thinking it must be hard to dance with big bulky diapers on. Hell, she could hardly walk with her 9 pairs of panties on. Sandra was a quick learner, so she knew that she would be just as good as the other girls. It would just take a bit of time, hard work and practice- Mathilde (Her dance teacher) was also very patient and was good at explaining how to move and things like that. After a half an hour, Mathilde let the girls have a break. This was their favourite time of dance, as it meant that they could have some time to chat and play.
Kevin was watching the spycam. He didn’t save that many pictures. He seen Sandra go to the toilet. He thought that this process was taking a long time. It really didn’t interest him watching his niece going to the toilet. She just sat there and let liquids flow out of her. Of course the many perverts that paid to look at her probably thought that this was thrilling, this was not the type of humiliation that he planned. If we wanted Sandra to be a porn star, then it would actually been easier. But there were so many girls that were experiencing that. No, Kevin had another plan. He would create his own star. Suddenly he noticed that Sandra was looking around. She started staring at a bag of diapers that were in the corner. This suddenly became interesting. She stood up and made sure that the door was closed. Then she slowly took a diaper out of the bag. She sat back down on the toilet and looked closely at the diaper, turning it around as she felt it. She was most likely impressed at the plastic sensation as well as how soft it was. Then he noticed that she slipped the diaper under her bum and taped the diaper. Kevin smiled as this was a new step in her discovery. He was clicking mad saving as many pictures as he could. At last he had a picture of Sandra with a diaper on. As a 10 year old, she put a diaper on herself!
Sandra walked around the bathroom with the diaper on. It was a bit difficult to walk. It was like she had to spread her legs. At the same time, she could feel that the diaper was soft and even comfortable. She had flash backs of when she was a baby and when her mother changed her. She knew at these times that her mum loved her and she loved her mum. She would remember sitting on her Mums lap while she was reading a book or just chatting. She remembered sitting on the highchair and eating for ages. Those were the days. She did not have to worry about homework or what friends and teachers thought about her. She did not have to worry about the right fashion or what would happen in the future. She did not have to worry about liking the right songs on the radio and having to know everything about a pop star. Sandra’s mind kept wondering as she walked around feeling the thick diaper between her legs. It would have been less embarrassing when she wet the bed a few months ago. Even though she was 10 years old, the diaper felt nice and she really missed being younger.
However, she heard Mathilde call the girls back. Sandra considered leaving the diaper on, but then she thought that the other girls would notice, and they already knew that she was 10 years old. Sandra hurried to pull the diaper off and put her Leotards and tights back on. She threw the diaper on the diaper bag and rushed out. She blushed as she wondered if the other girls knew why it took so long in the toilet. Sandra had no idea that her Uncle Kevin could see everything and was in the process of posting pictures of her in a diaper on the website of her, that she didn’t even know existed.
After dance, Sandra was changing clothes with the other girls. She started talking with Jessica. The two girls talked as they were best friends for years. Jessica was a very kind and friendly girl, despite being a preteen baby. Sandra suggested that they get each other’s MSN addresses, as it would be cool to keep in contact. Deep down, Sandra did not want to wait until next week. Her mind was confused and full of new and strange thoughts. She knew that she had to get to know Jessica better. They agreed that they would speak on MSN the following day.
After dance class, Kevin rang to Mathilde on her cell phone.
“Hi, how’s life?”
“Great, I am a bit tired as I just have had a dance class”
“Oh, how is my niece doing?”
“She is doing great. She is catching up with the other girls very quickly.”
“Does she mind being together with the special girls you have in the class?”
“What do you mean special?”
“You know, they all bed wet and wear diapers and some of them wear diapers all the time. There are even some of them that use baby things and are treated as babies”
“Oh yes, they are special in that way. That is why I have this class. It is a place where preteen baby girls can meet and be together with others like them. It was strange that a normal girl started in the class. However, she has accepted the others. In fact she was in the toilet for a long time today and when I went in there just before you rang, I found a used diaper thrown on the bag. I suspect that she tried it on.”
“Maybe. She is a very curious girl. This is what I want you to do. I want you to treat her like the other girls. Do you still give them drinks during their break?”
“Yes, but she was in the toilet today, so she didn’t have one.”
“Do you still give them baby bottles?”
“Yes, that is what they are used to.”
“Then give Sandra a bottle from now on.”
“No, I think she can drink from an ordinary glass. She is not like the other girls.”
“Listen Mathilde. She wants to be part of the group. She wants to be like the other girls. Why else would she try a diaper on?”
“I am not sure that she did.”
“Listen; treat her like the other girls. I do not think that you want me to ring child services and let them know what is happening to these girls. All I am asking you is to treat Sandra like the other girls. Give her the bottle! If she suddenly wears diapers or asks to wear diapers, let her and even encourage it. If she needs to be changed, put her on the changing table! Just treat her like the others. It is important to me and I will not tell Child Services or the police about the way those girls get treated by their parents or you”
Kevin hung up. He knew that Mathilde would do it.
Mathilde sat down, staring at the Cell phone. Kevin could be so demanding and mean. However she could not understand why he wanted her to treat his niece like a baby. The only thing that she could think of was that he wanted her to feel part of the group and make new friends. She would do what he requested, to defend the girls from Child Service and society generally, that didn’t love these girls for who they were.
The following night, Sandra rushed to turn on her computer. She hardly ever used MSN as not really many of her friends used it. She mainly used it to chat with her granny and her uncle Kevin. However Jessica was on, so Sandra smiled as she finally could speak with her alone.
Sandra - Hi Jessica. I am so happy that I have you on MSN.
Jessica - Me too. I always like new friends.
Sandra – I wasn’t sure that you would chat with me after I made fun of you
Jessica – It’s OK, you are not the only one, and you didn’t make fun of me the last time. I know it is unusual for a girl my age to wear diapers.
Sandra – If you don’t mind me asking, why do you wear them?
Jessica – Well now, I have no control over my bladder. I just start peeing before I can feel that I have to. So I come to the toilet when it’s too late.
Sandra – Aww, poor you, How did it start?
Jessica - I was very close to my Dad. But he left when I was 6. When he left I was very sad. I don’t remember that much, but Mum said I became like a baby again. I started sleeping in my old bed and starting wetting myself.
Sandra – So your mum put you back in diapers?
Jessica – Yes, and I started sleeping in my old cot. I started using bottles and pacifiers as well. I just became like a little baby again.
Sandra – Your Mum must have been worried
Jessica – She thought it was just a phase that I was going through. I suppose that it is a long phase.
Sandra – Do you ever want to be potty trained and be normal like a girl your age?
Jessica – Of course I do, but I like my life. I feel safe and loved because I am like a baby. I actually feel like I am a baby living in a 10 year old body.
Sandra – I know, but I am 10. I feel like I am safe and loved and I don’t wear diapers.
Jessica – Well, we are all different. You must admit that when you were a baby, you were closer to your Mum and she took more care of you. When you’re grown up, you are left more and more by yourself
Sandra – I know that. Mum and I were a lot closer then. But she still loves me. I think she tries to give me some room and place to be more responsible.
Jessica – I hate that word. I suppose when it comes down to it, I am just not ready to be a big girl yet. I have to go. Mum is saying it’s time for bed.
It was only 8 pm! Sandra turned off her computer and walked around the room thinking. She ended up by putting on 9 of her panties again. She sat down by the window and started sucking her pacifier. She was confused. Jessica became a baby again when her Dad left. Sandra remembered when her Dad died. She was just about 6 when that happened. Sandra remembered crying and being very sad. She didn’t understand what it meant to die back then; she just knew that her dad was not coming back. Sandra wondered why she didn’t start acting like a baby again. Maybe that’s why she started wetting the bed years later. Sandra looked up at the stars and prayed that God would help her to understand.
The following evening, when Sandra came home from school, she immediately put on her 9 pairs of panties and her nightdress. She knew that it was early to get ready for bed, but something deep down in her told her to get ready for bed. Sandra turned on the computer and luckily Jessica was on. Sandra was finding her pacifier when Jessica sent her a message:
Jessica – Hi Sandra! I hope I didn’t freak you out yesterday.
Sandra - Now, you are a friend. Why would I be freaked out?
Jessica – You know because I am a baby. I am weird. I am not like you or other 10 year olds.
Sandra – You are not weird. You are special. To tell you the truth, I am pretending that I have a diaper on.
Jessica – Lol, I don’t understand.
Sandra – I have 9 pairs of panties on. They feel very thick. It is almost like wearing a diaper.
Jessica – Oh, but it’s not the same
Sandra – I know. I tried one on at dance the other day. It felt like I was a baby. Life was so much simpler in the few minutes that I wore the diaper. Why does Amanda wear them?
Jessica – That’s a different story. You see she is only wearing them for about 6 months. She used to be a bad girl. Then her Mum punished her by making her wear diapers. It ended up that her mum didn’t just stop at diapers. But she started treating Amanda like a baby. She also has baby things, like a crib and highchair and baby clothes.
Sandra – Does Amanda like being a baby?
Jessica – No, but she won’t tell her Mum that. She is trying to be good so she can be a normal girl again. However her bladder has lost its control and her Mum isn’t bothered to potty train her. If you ask me, I think her mum likes her as a baby, so she can have more control over Amanda. That’s why Amanda started at our dance class. Her Mum wanted her to be with girls that are babies just like her.
Sandra – Poor Amanda. I hope she becomes my friend too. What about the other girls?
Jessica – They all wear diapers. However they wear them mostly at night because they wet the bed. You are the only one that doesn’t wear diapers. We were all surprised when you started dancing.
Sandra – Why?
Jessica – Because this dance class is for diaper girls. A Few mothers asked Mathilde do run the dance class, because they didn’t want us going to a normal dance class where other girls would laugh and tease and other parents would not understand how we can be like babies. By the way, it looks like you will be wearing diapers like us any day now?
Sandra – Why?
Jessica - because you tried one on and you are wearing all those panties now.
Sandra – I am also sucking a pacifier now. I don’t know what is happening to me. I think I am going crazy. I shouldn’t be so obsessed with diapers and big girls acting like babies.
Jessica – Just relax and listen to your heart. If you feel better wearing diapers and just being a baby, then do it. You know that other girls do it. Just as long as you are happy! Maybe you should get your mum to buy you diapers. I have to go now. Time for my bath.
Sandra smiled as she bet her mum gave her a bath. She was right though. Sandra shouldn’t think about how old she was and what was expected of her. She should just think of how she could be happy. She would never ask her mum to buy her diapers. But as every day went, she realized that she wanted to be back in diapers. As every day went, she realized that she was thinking more like a baby and wanted to be a baby.
A few days, it was time for dance again. This time Sandra and Jessica gave each other hugs. They have been talking on msn for the last week. They felt like they were best friends, as they told each other secrets and their life, what they like and what they do not like. Of course Sandra stared at Jessica as she was changing. She thought that her friends diaper looked cute on her. Sandra remembered in shame as she laughed and teased a girl wearing diapers. Now she knew why she wore them and it was not that bad. She also looked at the other girls. She knew that they wore diapers at night and sometimes in the day. In fact, there was one girl that was wearing diapers that did not wear them last week. Sandra just smiled at her. No one deserved to be teased because they wore diapers. They probably had good reasons. They needed friends that would accept them for who they were. It was time to dance, and Sandra held Jessica’s hand as they went into the dance room.
Kevin (Her uncle) was looking through the spycam. There were not many pictures he could use. This was a bit disappointing, as he felt that he had to keep the many subscribers on her model page fed with pictures. He was very happy about its success and was making a lot of money out of it. He watched Sandra as she was dancing. He saved a few pictures of this, as it was amazing how flexible the girl was, and she was a fast learner. Typical of his sisters family – they had to be perfect in everything. Still, it was this and her curiosity that would make him a rich man. Neither his sister nor niece knew that she (Sandra) was quickly becoming famous over the internet.
It was time to take a break. He wondered if Sandra would play with the diapers in the toilet or what she would do. It seemed like Sandra wanted to be with Jessica, as she followed Jessica to a corner of the room where the girls were chatting and relaxing. It was obvious that Sandra was now one of the popular girls there. She was smiling and laughing while talking with the other girls. Her smile disappeared when Mathilde came with 8 bottles of juice. Sandra eyes were glued on the bottles. Yes, they were baby bottles. Kevin could see Sandra look closely as each girl took a bottle. Then they started sucking them as they were little toddlers. Mathilde looked into Sandra’s eyes as she held a bottle out. Kevin started saving pictures. He was smiling at Sandra’s expression. The few seconds where Sandra hesitated seemed like a life time. Any normal girl would have protested, but Sandra was losing herself to a new world. She was getting a fetish at the age of 10. Kevin shouted in joy as Sandra took the bottle.
Later that night, Sandra was lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. She was still confused to as why Mathilde gave her a baby’s bottle. Sandra remembered looking at it. It was a clear bottle with pink elephants on it. Sandra remembered that she didn’t want to make a scene, so she took the bottle. She remembered that it was nice to hold. It actually helped her to relax. It was like a pacifier. It also made her feel like she was part of the group. Sandra put a pacifier in her mouth, as she thought that it was great to hold the bottle and drink from it. She couldn’t actually say why, but she just felt great and it was very natural for her. Sandra made a decision. She knew what she had to do the next day.
The next day went long at school. Sandra could not concentrate. She decided what could be the most important decision she made in a year. She also decided not to tell her mum, as she was afraid what her mum would say. While her teachers rambled on what they thought what was important to learn, Sandra was asking herself if she was making the right choice. If she was, then today would be the best day to do it. She knew that today would be the best day to do it, as her Mum was working late. Sandra lowered her head, thinking that she never kept a secret from her mother. In the past few weeks, she was keeping a lot of secrets. This would be the biggest secret of all.
Elizabeth (Her friend) asked if they should walk home together. Sandra turned a bit red and said that she had to go to the store. Elizabeth offered to come as well, but Sandra reminded her that Elizabeth’s parents would be mad if she came home late. Besides that, Sandra wanted to go alone. It would be quicker. There was another reason; she did not want Elizabeth to see what she was going to buy.
Sandra walked into the mall and walked to the far off corner where a small shop was nearly hidden. It was called “Special Children”. It was Jessica that told her about this shop. Sandra was shaking as she entered the shop. She could feel her heart pounding. She felt like she wanted to die. She was about to turn around when she seen a boy her age. He was wearing shorts, and you could see that he was wearing a diaper. His clothes looked a bit babyish as well. But it confirmed to Sandra was not the only one. She used what little logic that she had to think that there must be lots of children, as otherwise the store would close. She could see that it sold mostly baby things for big children. Sandra walked straight to the diaper section. She looked around to see if she knew someone. Then she started looking at the diapers. Some were pull-ups, others were tapes. Some were cloth. Sandra looked at the prices. They were expensive! It would take several weeks allowance to pay for them. Sandra found some pull-ups with mermaids on them. They looked so pretty. She picked them up and started hugging them. She would have started dancing around with them when she noticed that the boy was looking at her. The boy was standing at the checkout with his mum. Sandra noticed that he had 2 bags of diapers and bibs. She smiled thinking that he wore a bib when he was eating. He also smiled as he seen her hugging a bag of pull-ups. It was soon Sandra’s turn. She gave the cashier the diapers and started emptying her coins. The cashier smiled at Sandra and told the young girl that she needed diapers that were bigger, as these were too small for her. Sandra went totally red. The woman knew it was for her. Sandra felt like saying it was for her little brother. However Sandra didn’t like to lie. The cashier came back with a smile, took the money and asked Sandra if she wanted a bag, so everyone doesn’t have to know what she just bought
Sandra rushed home
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