“What, Gavi?” she sighed, looking me.
“Things...are...are...weird!” I exclaimed. “I shouldn’t be having potty accidents at my age. I shouldn’t have trouble dressing myself. I should be feeding myself. I shouldn’t be sucking my thumb or drinking from sippy cups!”
“But do you like those things, Gavin?” Skye smiled, seductively at me.
“That doesn’t matter!” I all but wailed. “Something isn’t right, today! Something is wrong! I’m a big boy!” I stomped my foot. I had wanted to say “adult” instead of “big boy”. I would have settled for “grown-up”. But those words wouldn’t come to me right then.
“Honey, do you think you’re not a big boy?” Skye cooed. “Is that it?”
I shook my head, but not in denial or confirmation. Something wasn’t right, and a yes or no answer wasn’t going to clear anything up.
“Honey, you’re the same you’ve always been, I promise. You’re not changing into a baby, or something,” Skye looked me dead in the eye. “Those kinds of things only happen in internet stories, like Long Rifle, or Personalias, or Toddlergirl.”
Skye had a point. Wait...how did she know THOSE names? I had never told her those names! Who else would have?
“Skye?” a voice from earlier in the day interrupted us. I looked away from my girlfriend and towards the source of the voice. It was Kadija; Skye’s friend from earlier in the day. Only now she wasn’t in a zoo uniform. She wore short denim shorts that showed off most of her legs and a fire engine red tank top. Her dreadlocks were tied back behind her head. Trailing along behind her, holding onto her hand, was a little boy.
He was a cute little thing with a patch of wispy blonde hair on his head, too young for his first hair cut, he was one, maybe one and half, but not much older. He toddled along, unsteadily, on two pudgy little legs behind Kadija. His romper onesie was the same color as Kadija’s shirt, as was the button on the pacifier clipped to the top of his little outfit. His eyes scanned the crowd with a kind of weariness, while he sucked on his paci.
Something was definitely wrong. Skye had never once mentioned Kadija having a kid, let alone a white one.
“Kadija?” Skye called back to her ganja smoking buddy. “Heeeeeeeeey!” she smiled back a little too cheerily. It was that awkward tone, the one that broadcast to the listener “HELP ME!”
“Is that Gavin?!” Kadija asked as she and the little toddler closed the distance. “Oh my gosh, Skye, he is soooo cute in that little outfit!”
“Who are you calling little?” I scoffed. Skye might have had a few inches on me, but I had at least half a foot on Kadija.
“Wooba wobblee wibble?” Kadija looked to Skye, her eyebrow arched.
“He doesn’t like being called little.” Skye explained. Kadija’s eyes widened in amusement and amazement. She covered her gaping mouth to stifle a giggle.
“Baby,” she looked down at the toddler by her side. “Tell these two what your name is and how old you are.” She picked the baby up and rested him on her hip before removing his pacifier.
“Nay...uh... my cul….uh... my deen.” the little boy stuttered.
“Did you get any of that?” Kadija asked, her eyes alight with wonder.
“No,” Skye and I both said in unison. Kadija burst out laughing as if something funny had happened.
“Kadija,” Skye gestured to the little boy on Kadija’s hip. “Is that?...” she let the sentence trail up.
“Yeah,” Kadija grinned.
“But doesn’t he…?” Skye gestured to a diapered employee pushing around an icecream cart, mothers and their babies eagerly flocking to the sweet treats in the distance.
“Not any more,” Kadija giggled. “Don’t worry, it’s cool. His aunt owns the zoo and is...was...his landlord and only family. She’s got no problem with me taking him home as my own. I played it smart, if you ask me” she went on, “he was already wearing his diaper when he had his first accident today.” the baby blushed a little bit and popped his pacifier back into his mouth. “No nasty wet pants to throw away like the rest of ya’ll.”
“The fuck is she talking about, Skye?” I looked to my girlfriend suspiciously.
“THUCK SHAWKING BAUW!” Kadija burst into hysterical laughter for some reason. “Oh, I just thought of a fun game to do next time we all hang out.” she cackled.
“Kadija,” Skye tried to interrupt her friend.
“I mean, we’re still gonna hang out right?” Kadija went on, oblivious. “Even though we’re both Mom-”
“KADIJA!” Skye shouted. Kadija stopped talking. She looked at me. She looked
“Oh, Skye,” Kadija sighed, her voice tinged with disbelief. “You have told him, already, right?”
“Told me what?” I tugged on Skye’s skirt.
“Gavin...I…”, Skye paused, and clicked her tongue, as if searching for something to say.
Just then my pants became warm again. Uh oh! Pee-pee!
“I know that look,” Kadija commented as I gasped, my free hand releasing my grasp on Skye’s skirt and traveled to my mouth. “Seen it enough times today to have it burned into my brain,” she added.
Trapped in the moment, and not even aware enough to stop, not even wanting to stop, I sucked on my thumb as I wet myself, again. We hadn’t been out of the potty ten minutes, and already I was going pee-pee in my pants. My bladder hadn’t even felt full, to me. So instead of feeling pressure build up, instead of doing a little potty dance, I just wet myself and...enjoyed it.
I let out a long relieved sigh as I finished relieving myself, snapping back to reality and becoming acutely aware of my wet diaper.
“Gavin...did you…?” Skye asked me, her gaze drifting towards my diaper area. I was speechless. I had done it again, and hadn’t even had the presence of mind to be embarrassed about it or try and prevent it. No running, no wriggling, not even grabbing my crotch to try and stop the act in progress. “Never mind, let me check,” Skye spoke over my silent realization.
She took a knee and popped open the crotch snaps on my shortalls, pulling them up to expose my sodden diapee. She gave the front of my crotch a firm squeeze, before proclaiming. “Nah, it can hold another wetting or two. Maybe a poopy. He just did a tiny tinkle.” I just stood there, embarrassed.
“You sure about that?” Kadija asked.
“Trust me, I’ve seen Gavin push these things to their limit already. This is nothing compared to earlier.
“Let me check,” Kadija declared before leaning in and reaching underhanded for the front of my diaper so she could squeeze it herself.
“AHHH!” I shrieked, throwing my hands down to cover my diaper. “The FUCK do you think you’re doing, lady?! Skye can do that, but not you! I’m not a...I’m not a...a...”
“Skye,” Kadija sighed. “You gotta tell him.”
“TELL ME WHAT?!:” I demanded to know.
“You’re right,” Skye agreed dejectedly as she buttoned my shortalls back up, covering my wet padding. “Gavi-poo, come on. I wanna show you something.”
Skye took my hand and I toddled along at her side. My diaper swelled up, forcing my thighs apart so I once again waddled like a soggy cowboy. We left Kadija and her baby without a backwards glance, walking along in a silence that stretched out like an ocean between us. Skye had lost all her spunk. She walked slowly, dragging her feet, head lowered. A breeze wafted past us, blowing her pink, teal, and blonde braids in front of my face.
A small part of me wanted to just forget the worry churning around inside, to just let it all go and enjoy my warm, swollen squishy wonderful wet diapee, to tug and pull on those multi colored braids. To put them in my mouth and chew. What would they taste like? I bit down then blinked in surprise when I found my thumb in my mouth. How had that gotten there?
We kept walking. Skye didn’t even look at me. I looked around at the people we passed. I saw the little blonde boy with his huge daddy coming out of a gift shop. Kevin, the little black boy, was sitting with his mommy as she fed him ice cream. They didn’t notice us in the crowd. In the distance I spied the tall lady in the yellow dress with her Asian infant in his pink dress. She sat on a bench, nursing him again.
I stared, fascinated as we trudged along. My head swiveled. What was so spell binding about it? I shook my head, but I couldn’t get the notion out of it. I sucked hard on my thumb. As an infant, the only food source that baby had was his mommy’s breasts, or bottles. I frowned around my thumb at the thought of a bottle. But nursing straight from the tap? Soft, warm flesh of mommy’s nipple in my mouth, her warm milk filling me, trickling down my throat. Her body providing nourishment for me as she held me close, rocking me. Drool ran down my chin.
“Okay.” Skye sighed and gracefully sank down onto a bench under the dappled shade of a tree. “Might as well get it over with.”
“Huh?” Get what over with? I wanted to talk to her..but about what? My mind was full boobs. But not in a sexy sex kind of way; in a….a…hungry, infantile way. Comfort and nurture, not hormones and cum. Slobber dribbled down my chin as I still sucked on my thumb.
“Our talk.” Skye stared up at me, her brows furrowed as she watched me suck my thumb.
“Wha?” My thumb tasted good, but my mouth still yearned for more. I wanted to nurse. Realizing what that unbidden desire was stunned me. I wasn’t a little baby...was I? Yet these feelings had always been there, buried deep down in me. Buried with a part of me I had long denied, still fought against. My adult baby side. The self realization dazed me and I stared stupidly at my girlfriend.
“You don’t remember?” Skye stared at me intently for several seconds. My eyes were caught in hers, but then mine drifted down to her breasts. Her top was cut low, her cleavage full. Her breasts really had gotten bigger, fuller and heavier somehow. I licked my lips, my thumb still in my mouth. I could drown in her breasts.
Skye caught my stare and her sulky expression changed to a cheshire cat’s smile. She reached for me with both arms, grabbed my upper arms and tugged, guiding me down onto her lap so I was sitting sideways on her. “Gavi-poo, we need to talk.” She tilted me back, my head cradled in the crook of her elbow, the side of my face resting against her breast.
Pleasure shot through me. I was close, so close. I couldn’t suppress my moan, which had an echo. Did Skye just moan, too? I rubbed my cheek against her top and stared up at her as pleasure zinged along my nerves, making my entire body tingle. I drooled some more. Skye shuddered as well; I felt her body tremble slightly all around me. Her eyes closed and she moaned, too.
She sighed, part content part disapointed. “Gavin.” She opened her eyes and gazed down at me. I felt so little and helpless being held this way. Like I really was a baby. I should be protesting. I wasn’t a baby. I was a big boy; a grown up. This was ….wrong, wasn’t it? Then why did it feel so right? So natural?
“Gavi-poo.” She pulled my thumb out of my mouth; I whimpered in protest. I tried to put it back in, but she held my wrist. “Gavin.” Her tone turned serious. She stroked my cheek, catching my eyes with her own. “You know how today, some things seemed...a little off?”
I scrunched my face up as it all came flooding back to me. But it didn’t seem as important as it had been. I wanted my thumb back, but Skye still held my wrists, so I nuzzled against her breast. It was soft and warm, even through the cloth of her top. I felt her shudder and moan again. She wanted it just as much as I did. Didn’t she?
“Gavin?” She prompted, looking down at me. I realized she wanted an answer, so I nodded.
“Today was a special day. A day for mommies and babies.” She paused. “You know, there are all kinds of mommies and babies out there.”
I nodded, thinking of all the animals I saw. All kinds of mommy animals. And human mommies. Some adopted their babies, like Kadija and her little boy, and the yellow dress lady with her Asian baby. And some mommies were just plain crazy, like Chaz’s mommy and her fake boobies. I licked my lips, trying to bring my thumb up to my mouth.
“Not yet baby.” Skye smiled at that. She ran a finger over my drool wet lips; I sucked on the tip of her finger and whined, pleading up at her with puppy dog eyes. I wanted my thumb! She bent down and kissed my nose.
“I need you to pay attention, sweet boy.” How the hell could I focus on anything with her breast right under my cheek? All I had to do was turn my head, tug her top down and latch on. My eyes widened at that thought. I could almost feel her nipple in my mouth. I whimpered, turning my head to lick her breast through her top. Desire overwhelmed rational thought, shoving it down into the back of my mind, just as I had so often shoved my infantile desires down. It was like my baby side and adult side had switched places; the baby in me had steadily been growing stronger, taking over. Now he sat firmly in the driver’s seat, shoving my adult side and denial into a carseat and slamming it in the trunk.
“My baby.” Skye’s fingers gently but firmly gripped my chin, turning my face away from her breast. “Gavin.” She gently admonished as I whined in protest. I stared up at her, pouting.
“My thumb.” I protested. If she wanted me to focus, then she should let me have my thumb back. I raised my hand up but she pushed it back down. I whined, and she kissed my drool wet lips. Not a lingering, loving girlfriend kiss, but a soothing mommy kiss.
“You’ve been acting more and more like a baby today. You couldn’t hold your pee-pees at all. You couldn’t make it to the potty and ruined you jeans. I had to throw them out, clean you up and diaper you. Then you wet that diaper. You didn’t want me to change your diapee, then you made poo-poos in it. You could barely feed yourself at lunch; I had to feed you. You got your shirt all dirty, too. And you stood there in front of me and Kadija and wet yourself. Didn’t even try to get to the potty.” She spoke gently, matter of factly, staring me down.
With each word, I felt myself shrinking. Tears welled in my eyes. What the hell had I done? What was I doing? More importantly, why couldn’t I stop it? Because I didn’t want to. That part hurt most of all. Warm wetness trickled down my cheeks, shame burning my face. “I-I’m s-sor-ry.” I sniffled.
Before I could fall apart, Skye rocked me. Her warm fingers tenderly wiped away my tears and she bent down, pressing little butterfly kisses to my wet cheeks, my nose, my forehead and my lips. “Don’t cry, Gavi-poo. I’ve taken care of you all day, haven’t I? I changed your diapees, fed you. I’m holding you now. You have nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie.” She hugged me close as the tears fell. She kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back.
“I enjoyed every minute of it.” She whispered in my ear and I froze.
“W-what?” How could she enjoy taking care of me? Shouldn’t she be disgusted? Hate that big baby part of me as much as I did?
“I love you, Gavin. All of you. I love taking care of you.” She nuzzled my hair. “You’ve been like a baby all day. And I’ve been like a mommy. Don’t you see? We belong together, mommy and baby. Those moments when you let yourself go, let the baby in you out…..” She grew breathless, her voice a husky whisper. “You have no idea how precious you are to me.”
I stared up into those eyes so brimming with motherly love and affection I could happily drown in them. Something in me broke then. My resistance crumbled. This was what I’d always wanted, deep down. My deepest, most denied desires coming to life. It’s why I hadn’t fought very hard, not hard enough...oh, I had tried to resist, the adult in me refusing to let the baby out, too full of shame. But that shame was melting away. Skye had seen the big baby in me….had taken care of the baby that I was...and she still accepted me. She loved me. Safetly. Love. Comfort. Acceptance. It was all there in her eyes, all of it just for me.
“I love you, too.” I grinned up at her, my lips still wet with drool. I went to put my thumb back in my mouth, but she caught my wrist again and kissed my curled fingers.
“I’ve got something much better than a thumb.” She smiled coyly. “Those mother and cub drinks we’ve been guzzling all day….they have some...interesting effects…but I think it’s better if I just show you.”
My brows furrowed. “Mo-Skye, what are you doing?” Mommy almost sprang unbidden from my lips. Did I almost just call her mommy? I was even more confused, but the word felt so right on my lips, so natural for me to say it. She had been a good mommy after all, hadn’t she? Taking care of me all day, helping me, looking out for me. More like a mommy than a girlfriend, and I had acted more like a baby than a boyfriend.
She pulled her top and bra down; one swollen, creamy breast popped free. A pearly white liquid beaded on her pert pink nipple. My mind went blank, drowned in desire. My tongue lolled out of my mouth, reaching for that nipple. Rational thought had fled; I was driven purely by instinct. I’d been wanting this all day, down in my subconscious. Had been wanting this for years.
Skye cradled my head, adjusting the angle she held me at slightly, then she brought me closer to that wonderful paradise. Her dripping nipple filled my vision, filled my mind. It was all I wanted right now. My universe had shrunk to her breast. Instincts took over and I latched on immediately, sucking the pink nipple into my mouth, lips closing around it.
Warm, sweet, creamy milk filled my mouth. Heaven, pure liquid heaven flowed over my tongue and down my throat. So much better than anything I’d ever tasted, even the Baby Formula I’d been drinking all day. Oh, yes, this was what I’d been craving unknowingly all day. Yes, yes, yes.
I moaned happily as I suckled, shiviering slightly in elation. Some milk burbled between my milk-wet lips and the soft, warm skin of Skye’s breasts. As my eyelids slipped close to savor the sensations assaulting my body, the last thing I saw was the look of soft, warm love filling Skye’s eyes. I cooed around her nipple, milk dribbling down and milk bubbles popping. This felt so right, so complete. Skye was my mommy, and I was her baby.
“That’s my sweet boy.” Skye hummed a soft lullaby, rocking me gently as I nursed. Warm, creamy breast milk flowed into me, comfort and reassurance filling up my tummy. This was meant to be. Another wave of warmth engulfed me even lower, around my diaper area. I barely even noticed; whatever was going on, my diapee would protect me and Skye would clean me up afterwards. The soggy, warm material swelled as it absorbed my pee-pees. Milk flowed in and pee pees flowed out.
I giggled, almost choking on the nummy milk. Skye shifted me so I was tilted up more, making it easier to swallow. Never once did the flow or my suction on her nipple break. One of her hands slipped between my legs: I felt her poking at the leg holes of my shortalls. I kicked feebly, squirming just like the baby I was. I didn’t care about a wet diapee; all that mattered was filling my belly up with Mommy’s delicious milk.
Through the material of my shortalls, she squeezed my diapee. I felt it squish all around me and I giggled, cooing and blowing more milk bubbles as I continued to nurse. Warm pee pee pooled around my bottom; was I still going pee pees? Who cared?! I sighed in contentment as I felt the padding on my bottom swell up too.