“So, what should we do next?” Skye said as we wandered away from the lunch area. She looked around, talking more to herself than me, as if she was a mother with a toddler unable to decide such things. I was used to her impulsive decision making. In our relationship, she was the more assertive and I was usually content to follow her lead. My ideas for dates were always predictable- dinner at a nice, normal restaurant and some chick flick that bored us both- Red Robin and Nicholas Sparks’ latest hit. Her idea of a romantic date: pita bread, hummus and a hot air balloon. Have you ever had sex in a hot air balloon, hundreds of feet up in the air? Yeah, that’s why I was usually happy to follow Skye’s weird ideas. I did say no to some things. LIke the Valentine’s Day when she wanted me to go sky-diving. Bungee jumping had the same results. Wetting my diaper on the pony ride, feeling the animal’s muscles shift and sway beneath me, rubbing that swollen, warm and wet padding all over me….I shivered, remembering the pleasant sensations. That was even better than the hot air balloon.
A daddy pushing a stroller passed us. It was a simple, classic and sensible umbrella stroller, not one of those overpriced SUV sized monstrosities that some morons with more money than sense bought. The print on the canvas seating was the same as the toddler’s diaper; white background with colorful happy safari cartoon animals. The diaper was the only thing the blonde haired boy wore; well, his diaper and a pair of blue plastic sunglasses with little smiling zebras on the corners. He happily licked at a melting ice cream cone. Drops of runny vanilla smeared all over his mouth and cheeks and chin and dribbled down his chest. He swung his bare feet contentedly, looking very comfortable in his stroller as his huge father pushed him along. I wondered what that would feel like, to sit in a stroller and have Skye push me. My cheeks blazed at the thought. What was I thinking? I was….just a little curious...and the little boy looked very comfy….I stared until his dad’s shadow fell over me; then I shrank, side-stepping with a loud crinkle, closer to Skye.
I peeked up at the boy’s father, tilting my head back. Damn, the man was huge. He looked like he could wrestle a bear and win. Unlike the muscular douchebag from the entrance gate, this guy’s muscles came from whatever his day job was. He didn’t work out to look good; he looked good from life. These weren’t show muscles; they were working muscles. Tall and wide and just huge. His head was shaved; he wore a floppy, somewhat dorky khaki hat, dark sunglasses and a thick mountain-man beard. Like the guys on Duck Dynasty.
I couldn’t help but quickly glance at his crotch; he was the only unpadded male I’ve seen today. Of course he wasn’t wearing a diaper. He was a daddy, a grown up. I frowned, confused at those stray thoughts. Then I caught him glance appreciatively at Skye with a slow nod of his head. Skye smiled back. Both me and the little boy in the stroller frowned. The man didn’t look like he was flirting with Skye; I couldn’t see his eyes because of the sunglasses, but his head was raised like he was looking at her face, not her boobs or the curves of her body.
“What a cute baby you have. All that blonde hair!” Skye complimented the dad on his baby. “He looks like he’s having a good time.”
The man laughed, a deep belly laugh. His dorky had flopped. With as huge as he was, towering even over Skye, no one would dare laugh at him. “He’s really enjoying the day. Yours is a little shy, eh? Better not leave him in that wet diaper too long; they get rashes so easily in the heat.”
My jaw dropped open; my entire face went red as the man looked at my crotch. My saggy, visibly wet crotch. I crinkled to Skye’s other side, away from the man, and took her other hand. How dare he! He talked like I was just another little baby. Was he trying to emasculate me in front of my girlfriend? I opened my mouth to object, words strangled by embarrassment. Only a garbled squeak came out. Skye smiled and patted my diapered bottom; the plastic crinkled noisily under her touch.
“It was just a little tinkle when he was riding the ponies. He’s good for a little longer. We just got done eating lunch.”
The man smiled at Skye’s words, giving me a knowing look. He just nodded his head at Skye. “You got lucky. We head an early brunch; in the middle of feeding my little boy his baby food when he had a diaper blow out.”
“Dada!” The little boy’s face went red just like mine had. He tilted his sunny blonde head back, arching his back, straining against the simple lap belt holding him in place. A little bit of drool ran down his chin to mix in with melted ice cream. He continued to talk, but it was all baby babble.
Skye laughed in delight as the baby scolded his daddy. She bent down to the boy. “He just learning to talk? What a little chatterbox! My Gavi-kin’s is more on the quiet side.” There it was again. Being mistaken for a kid….unless I was just being teased for being a grown man in a diaper. Just like the clowns and male workers. One big, run on joke. That was something Skye would enjoy.
“Yupp, said his first word today.” The man beamed proudly and ruffled his baby’s hair.
I tugged on Skye’s hand. The joke was getting a little old for my taste. I was in a diaper. So were a lot of other guys. Big deal. So what? “Let’s get some ice cream.”
The man tilted his head to one side. “Iweam?” He stared at Skye as if expecting a translation.
Skye said nothing; she just stood there with a cat ate the canary grin on her face, as if she was really enjoying this.
I felt like kicking that mountain right in his shin. Not that I ever would- I’m not suicidal. I pouted down at the ground so I wouldn’t glare up at him. That would be like poking a pitbull with a stick. I shivered at the thought. I just wanted to get away before I did something stupid. Like poke my tongue out at a man who could squash me. I’d be mincemeat in a New York minute. I tugged on Skye’s hand again. “Please, Skye. Let’s go get icecream.”
The man stared at me some more then chuckled in amusement. “That’s adorable. ‘Iweam Peese” I almost wish my little guy was at that stage.”
This jackass really was taking it too far. I blushed and tugged harder on Skye’s hand.
Skye sighed. “Okay, okay, I’ll get you some ice cream.” She looked at the man and shrugged.
He laughed and waved her off. “Yeah, I know how it goes” He looked down at his little boy in the stroller then started walking again.
“Okay.” She giggled. “You’re impatient. You really want some ice cream, huh? Got some more room in that tummy, huh?” She poked me in my belly, right on the front of the diaper. Her finger pushed in with a crinkle.
“Skye!” I pulled my shirt down. She just poked me higher. I brought my hands up to block her; she dodged and poked lower again. I slammed my hands down but she was too fast for me, poking me here and there with both hands now. I squirmed, giggling. Then Skye’s hands suddenly grabbed me by my arm pits and swung me around in a circle so fast my feet left the ground as I laughed, my tummy flipping and flopping around.
“There’s my happy boy!” Skye cooed once she set me back down. She held onto me, her hands on my shoulders, until she was sure I had my balance. Then she took one of my hands. “Come on, the daddy and baby came from this direction, so the ice cream place must be around here somewhere.”
We passed a few more animal exhibits but they were all too crowded to get a good look at the animals, such as kangaroos, camels, buffalo, and pandas. Right after the pandas, we found the ice cream cart amid a grove of bamboo. We joined the small line. “Oh, goody, this is gonna be a special treat.” Skye chirped. I looked at the cart but with all the people around I couldn’t really see. Once we moved up closer in line, I saw the sign reading “Today’s special: Mommy Milkshakes and Cub Cones”. I groaned, remembering the Zoo Friends lunch plate. Just what fresh horrors compromise the Cub Cone?
None, it turned out. The cub cone was just creamy sweet Baby Formula deliciousness in a small cone. The only downside was the bib Skye tied around my neck. “Skye.” I whined in protest but she just shushed me.
“Do you want to be like that drippy baby in the stroller? Well, I could always take your bib and shirt off. Your shirt’s already messy enough, but you could go around in just your diapee while you eat. I’ll just clean you up with some wipes.” Skye chirped.
I stared at Skye like she was nuts. Bib, or run around in just my diaper? Neither one was appealing….but I’d take the bib over diaper streaking any day. Well, my diaper was already showing, but with my shirt on it was almost, sort of like wearing shorts. Not really, but it felt like it. Running around in just my diaper….that was something little babies did. The baby in the stroller could barely even talk.
“Was his daddy checking you out?” I squinted up at Skye as a little drop of Baby Formula ice cream dripped down my chin and onto my bib. I blushed. I had to focus on eating my treat or it would melt.
“You silly baby. See, the bib was a good idea after all. I’m not his type, not at all. Trust me.” Skye sucked down her Mother’s Milkshake. She didn’t get any drops on her.
We sat down in a small bamboo grotto a little further down from the ice cream cart. Bamboo grew tall, the reedy branches intertwining to create a small, green cave. A tinkling little fountain was surrounded by benches. Skye sank down elegantly in one fluid motion, crossing her legs. I plopped down next to her with a loud crinkle, wobbling a little as my padded posterior hit the cool stone bench.
The cone slipped from my grip; my hand was a mess with melted ice cream and the force from sitting down caused me to drop it. Skye caught it easily; she held the sticky cone gingerly between two fingers. “Here, Gavi. Let me hold it so it doesn’t fall again.” Her voice was warm, but her face was wrinkled in distaste at the sticky mess.
“Your face looks silly. I can hold it.” I reached out with my hand; it was already a mess anyway. Might as well finish with it.
“No.” Skye almost cringed. She put her milkshake down and caught my wrist with her free hand, as if she didn’t want melted, sticky ice cream all over her.
I giggled at her reaction, at the funny faces she was making as she grimaced, pulling away from my outstretched fingers.
“Gavin. Let me hold it for you, sweetie.”
“Oh, alright.” I pouted, relenting. It was nice to be able to tease her, for once. I dropped my hand and she sighed in relief. We quietly finished our desserts. Skye was done before me. My cone was small, but my belly was still full of hotdog. It gurgled as chewed up hotdog and Baby Formula digested and churned within.
Once my cone was all gone, Skye got out a baby wipe and cleaned my hands. My lips, chin, and cheeks were still smeared with ice cream. She ran the cool, cloth-like wipe over each finger, determined to wipe away every last trace of melted sticky mess. She concentrated hard, her face close to mine. That’s when I got a wonderfully wicked idea. Just like I’d had with the baby goat at the petting zoo.
I darted forward suddenly and planted a big, sloppy smooch on her cheek then sat back, giggling like crazy. Her cheek now sported a large, sticky smear on it, a token of my affection. Her face froze in horrified shock. I laughed so hard my belly hurt and I would have fallen over if Skye wasn’t holding my wrist, in the middle of cleaning my hand.
Her face almost clouded over in annoyance then she was laughing. “Oh, you think that’s funny, do you?” Her voice was warm with affection then she blew a raspberry on my sticky cheek. I shrieked with laughter; even on my cheek it tickled. The crinkling of my diaper was just background noise I ignored. I squirmed, feet kicking as she tickled my sides. I managed to wiggle free and slide to my feet. Soon as the sandals of my soles hit cement, I took off, still giggling. “Skye, can’t catch me!” I stuck my tongue out at her, teasing her. I ran a few steps then stopped, looking back to see if she was following.
Skye still sat on the bench. I stuck my tongue out again, but she just calmly gathered up our garbage. I blew a raspberry at her. She stood up; I jumped, ready to run, but she turned calmly to the garbage can just outside of the bamboo grotto.
“Hah, you know you can’t catch MEEEEEE” My taunt ended in a squeal of surprise as Skye suddenly lunged toward me with her arms outstretched. I jumped, feeling a little spurt of warmth into my already soggy diaper. I barely paid attention, more focused on avoiding Skye’s reach. I walked backwards, just beyond her finger tips.
“I’m gonna get you, Gavi-poo!” She called in a playful mock threat. She made a monster face and twisted her hands into claws as she lunged again.
I laughed, wobbling a little as I walked backwards. “Missed me!” I turned and walked ahead, picking up speed. My wet diaper swung between my legs, weighed down from my urine. It swung back and forth like a pendulum as I waddle-ran in an awkward gait. I took no more than half a dozen steps when my balance wobbled and my knees suddenly buckled. The ground rushed up to meet me; all I could see was cement. I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact and the pain of freshly scraped and blood skin.
“GAVIN!” Skye cried, true horror and worry in her voice. Then her arms were around me, squeezing me tightly as she lifted me up. One moment I was nearly horizontal with the ground, the next I was vertical once again, Skye squishing me close in a hug and running her hands through my hair. She pressed little worried kisses to my forehead and cheeks. “It’s okay, baby. You’re okay.” She sounded as if she was more scared than I had been. I never knew carefree Skye was such a worry wort.
“I’m okay. I didn’t get hurt.” I said in confusion. My heart beat against my ribs from the adrenaline rush. It had all happened so fast my mind was still catching up with the events. One second I was falling, the next I was not and Skye was there, smothering me in her concern. “Really, I’m okay.”
“I know, baby. I made it in time. “ Skye’s voice was still shaky with anxiety. After a final hug, she let me go and took one of my hands. “But I want you to stay close to me from now on, okay?”
“But why did I lose my balance? The ground is flat and my sandals are like sneakers.” I lifted one foot to show her, and suddenly I wobbled again. Skye held me steady. I would have tipped right over if she wasn’t holding me. I frowned. My sandals had sturdy, grooved rubber soles perfect for walking.
“W-what’s going on? This is weird!” I pouted in frustration. Sure, I was not the most coordinated or athletic person out there, but even I could manage to lift my foot and run. “Maybe….maybe it’s my...my diaper?” I whispered the last part with pink cheeks.
“It could be. It’s pretty thick and you’re not used to it yet. Plus it’s been a very busy day. I bet you’re legs are just tired.” Skye reassured me, kissing both of my cheeks.
“Maybe.” Still, it didn’t feel quite right. Skye had been walking around in those high sandal wedges. The damn things were practically stilettos. She hadn’t lost her balance once! Then again, she made a living swinging around, climbing and gyrating against a pole on a stage in stilettos. She was used to it. I was not used to the thickness of the swollen padding forcing my inner thighs apart and giving me a new waddling gait. I mean, I was comfortable in my diaper but my muscles were still getting used to it.
“Let’s go sit down for a bit. We can catch a show!” Skye announced cheerfully. I had been blindly following her, lost in my own thoughts as we turned onto a new path and left the bamboo behind.