Chapter Description: The jouney continue, or does it? Will the family continue down this unusual road?
Baby Blues - Part 2
Ellen was a bit shocked that he was happy his grandmother was coming. It made her happy that her son was interested in his family again. She pondered over the question if she was a bad mother. She doubted it, thinking that William was polite today and was not his usual grumpy son. Ellen was slowly getting her son back.
Grandmother came and William sat next to her all the time. Grandmother noticed that he was a different boy that didn’t even didn’t bother to say hello to him when she visited the last time. Granny could see that William was a little uneasy. She guessed why. His brain must have been in turmoil about wetting and forgetting how old he was. Granny felt sorry for him. William probably didn’t even notice that he stopped growing. His friends were most likely experiencing growth spurts, while William would remain the size of a nine year old. Grannies thoughts were interrupted when William asked if he can see cartoons.
William hit his head a few times. Why did he want to see cartoons? They were for little boys. William needed to speak with someone. He asked his granny if he could speak with her in his room. They both went in and sat on the bed. He remembered when he was younger that Granny always helped him with problems. He hoped that she would help him with the problems he had in the last week.
“Granny, I think I’m sick”
“B-b-because I wet the bed”
“I noticed that the mattress is wet.”
“I can’t help it. When I wake up, then it’s just wet. I feel like a little baby”
“I don’t think you are sweetie, little boys wet themselves”
“Is that right granny? I can’t wait until I’m 10.”
This statement surprised Granny. The subliminal messages were having their effect. He already forgot that he was 11. Amazing how the brain works, that William has now convinced himself that he was younger. Granny asked if William has spoken to his mother about it.
“Not yet,” He replied,”I think she most know. I mean she should notice the wet bed sheets. I thought she would tell me that I need diapers.”
“Do you think that you should wear diapers?”
“I think I should wear diapers to keep dry and things. I mean boys that wet the bed should wear diapers.”
“You are right dear. In fact, I think that little boys should wear diapers.”
“You think it’s not just for babies?”
“Yes, boys are slow to grow and act like their age. Boys are really big babies, and that is cute.”
“Oh, I never thought about that”
“I think I should tell your mummy. I will let you sit here and think about it”
William sat there. It was nice to tell someone else his problem, and granny thought that it was OK to wear diapers. It seemed like the only sensible thing to do. Yet a part of him was fighting the thought. A part of him was thinking that diapers were embarrassing. After all he would never tell his friends. Still granny said that boys should wear diapers. This means that many boys probably do wear diapers.
In the meantime, Ellen called her son for dinner. She noticed that he was very silent. Maybe he had a lot to think about after his talk with granny. William thought that there was a bitter taste in the food. But he was getting used to it now. After dinner he gave his mum a hug and put his dishes in the washing machine. A few hours later, he felt like he was getting tired. This really didn’t bother him, as Granny was gone home and there were no cartoons on TV. He asked his mum for his goodnight drink. He drank the warm milk slowly and gave his mum a good night hug and went to bed. He didn’t notice when his Mum came and turned on the subliminal device under his bed.
The next morning, William could feel that everything was wet. He wet the bed again. Without thinking, he started crying very loud. He started calling for his Mum. He needed her right now. He needed help. Mum came and noticed the bed. She acted surprised and asked what the problem was.
“Mummy, I wet the bed.”
“Don’t worry about that baby”
“But, I wet the bed the last few days mummy. I just wake up and the bed is wet.”
“I know, I noticed. Don’t worry, lots of boys wet their beds. Some little boys wet all the time. I’ll tell you what we can do; we can put a rubber sheet on your bed, so the mattress doesn’t get ruined.”
William put his thumb in his mouth and started sucking it. He wanted to stop crying and he was happy that his mother did not get mad at him. He thought that she said the same as granny, that boys wet themselves. This sounded right, especially when the adults said it was right.
William didn’t even think of going out today, and he wondered why his friends were sending him text messages asking where he was. He wondered if they were not afraid of being at the park without their mum. William didn’t bother texting them back, he felt more comfortable sitting down seeing cartoons on TV. Bugs Bunny was so funny! Once in a while he would take his thumb out of his mouth and get mad at himself. Why was he sucking his thumb? He was no baby! But without thinking, he would slowly put the thumb back in his mouth.
He didn’t even notice the time flying. Before he knew it, he was eating dinner with Mum. William didn’t know that his food had the special medicine in it. He just ate it. Afterwards, he gave his mother a hug and thanked her for the food. Like the previous nights, he felt tired a few hours later. He politely asked for his night milk and after he drank that, he stumbled to bed. Tonight was different. The bed felt like it was slippery with the rubber sheet under the bed sheet. Maybe he would not wet the bed tonight. Somehow, he doubted it as little boys did wet!
Needless to say, the next morning he woke up with his thumb in his mouth. He felt wet and knew that he wet the bed again. Now he was tired of waking up in a lake off pee. He rushed down to his mother who was making breakfast. William started crying and told his mother that he wet the bed again. Ellen tried consoling him by giving him a hug.
“Mum, your right. Little boys wet their beds. Mum, I- I think I should use a diaper in bed. I mean it will keep me dry. I just think that I need a diaper. But I don’t want anyone to know”
“That’s OK, darling. I tell you what, why don’t we go down to the mall today and buy you some diapers.”
William felt embarrassed and like a baby when he admitted that he needed a diaper. He felt a bit humiliated, however he could not think of another solution. A few hours later he found himself in the mall. He was holding his mother’s hand as they made their way to a special shop. It was a shop that catered for babies and even adults that wanted to be baby. The shop was full of baby things, and William noticed that he was the oldest boy here. He could see babies and young toddlers with their Mums, but none of his mates. In a way, he was relieved as he did not want anyone to know he was there. William and Ellen went through the shop, looking at different baby things. Ellen wanted to see her son’s reaction looking at pacifiers, bibs, bottles and other things. Funny enough, William did not look bored. He just followed his mother, while at the same time looking once in a while to see if he recognized someone.
Ellen put some pacifiers and bottles and bibs in the basket. This upset William as he protested to his mum that they better not be for him, because he is too old for that baby stuff. A glimpse of the rude and arrogant 11 year old she had a few weeks ago came back. Ellen had to remember not to rush things. She assured him that it was not for him. William scowled at his mother. But at last they came to the aisle where there were diapers. William wanted to get this over with, just in case someone he knew came and saw him looking at diapers. His mother was a bit slower though. She was looking at different sizes, and how much they could absorb, as well as the price. William just took a bag with pull-ups. However, his mother took them and put them back, explaining that pull-ups was too expensive. It had to be disposable diapers with tapes. When she looked at Williams disappointed face, she assured him that it would be no problem. She would help him put the diaper on. After all, Mummies help little boys put on diapers. William could feel his face going white. Was she going to change him like a baby? It was a long time since his mother seen him without underwear on. Now his face was going red with embarrassment and humiliation with the thought. William was about to scream at his mother, however he thought maybe mums do help little boys. Once again he forgot how old he was, but he was sure that he would be a big boy soon.
Mum picked a bag of diapers that looked very thick. They had cartoon pictures on them. They went to the cashier. While waiting in the line, William noticed some teddy bears. There was one teddy bear that was so cute. He was brown and had a shiny black nose. He had a red ribbon around his neck. Ellen saw her son admiring the teddy bear, and put it in their basket. She reminded him that he was behaved at the shop, so he should get a present. The cashier looked at William when she was scanning the different things. This was nothing new to her. She saw lots of older boys and girls buying baby diapers. It really didn’t bother her, it was just a job. However, William looked down when she was scanning the things. He did not want her to know that he wet the bed. He put his thumb and looked down. He didn’t know this, but this made the Cashier smile. She thought he was a cute baby of around 9 years old. She didn’t know that he was small for his age.
On the way home, William was in a good mood. He was chatting to his mother about what he would do when he was older. He would play football with other boys, and he would be able to go to the park alone. While he was talking and talking, he reached in the bag in the back seat and took out the teddy. He gave it a hug and announced that he will call him Blinky. Ellen smiled. He was acting the same as he did 3 years ago, when he was 8. She thought that he looked so cute with the teddy. Maybe she was a bad mother. Maybe she was screwing with his mind. Maybe she was regressing him. But she had her little polite and loving boy back
It was Spaghetti and sauce. Ellen put the medicine in Williams’s portion, thinking that he has no idea that he is becoming weaker every day, losing more and more coordination, and getting a smaller and weaker bladder. William smiled when the food was in front of him. He couldn’t tell why, but he was beginning to enjoy eating dinner with his mother. It seemed like a distant memory when he hated just being around her. However, he could not understand how he couldn’t control the fork. He decided to hold it like he did many years ago. Even at this, it was not that stable in his hands. Some of the sauce fell on his clothes. His mother rushed to clean it with a cloth, so it didn’t stain. Then she started putting a bib on William. It had a summer fly on it. William didn’t care what was on it. He started pulling at it, saying that she promised it was not for him
“Wear it darling, I don’t want to be washing clothes all the time.”
“No Mummy, I am not a baby. I don’t want this. What will my friends say?”
“Honey, you are not big enough yet. You have to wear a bib”
“I am a big boy. I am... I am nearly that age... I know what age I am, I just can’t think of it.”
William frowned as he knew that he lost the fight. Little boys still needed bibs. As he thought about the strange taste in the food, he thought that one day he would be a big boy. Within a few minutes, he totally forgot that he was wearing a bib, and was talkative once again. After dinner, his mother told him to come in her room. She said that it was time to get his diaper on. William wanted to fight her on this, but remembered it was him that said he needed a diaper. He laid on the bed with and looked at the ceiling. He started crying a bit as he surrendered his body to the humiliation of being changed. While his mother took off his clothes, he wondered why he cried so easily. His mother just sang a song, like a lullaby song. William was soon naked. His brain was now in turmoil. This was so humiliating, but he had to get used to it, as his mother would put on a diaper every night. Before he knew it, his legs were raised and Mum put the diaper beneath his bum. She smiled, thinking that she did not forget how to change a diaper. William looked so cute with the diaper, that his mum said that he could watch TV just with the diaper on.
William didn’t mind. The embarrassing part was over, or at least he thought. It took some adjusting to walking, as he had to spread his legs a bit. He could hear the diaper make a crinkly noise every time he walked, no matter how silent he tried to walk. The embarrassment continued when he lied on the sheep rug in front of the TV. He liked the long fur of the rug against his chest, but it felt like he was wearing 10 pairs of underwear. Not only that, but if he rubbed his diaper, it felt like soft plastic, but on the inside it was so soft and even comfortable. William was on his stomach, so he looked back over his body. He could see the diaper on his bum. Boy, he thought, it sure is thick. He thought that it looked like a hill. Suddenly, he remembered that he was actually 11. He knew that he was short for his age, but how did he ever agree to wear a diaper? William was about to stand up and rip it off when he remembered every morning when the sheets were wet. Then he was in doubt how old he was. William looked at the cartoons and put a thumb in his mouth. He thought he was 11, but something was telling him that he was younger. He knew that he was a bed wetter.
William drank his warm milk. As usual, his eyes couldn’t stay open. William hugged his mother and said goodnight. He went to bed, said goodnight to his new teddy and put the thumb in his mouth while he said his prayers. He quickly fell asleep, not seeing his mother as she turned on the subliminal device under his bed.
The next morning, William woke up. He gave his teddy a hug and felt the sheets below him. He smiled as he felt that his bed sheets were dry. Then William remembered that he had a diaper on. On inspection, he could see that it was wet. He wanted to scream and he kept saying to himself that he was a bed wetter that needed diapers! He tried to think of something positive. The only thing he can think about is that some small boys like him have to wear diapers all the time. Other than that, it was nice that his pj and bed wasn’t wet. The diapers did their job.
William quickly took off his diaper and put his normal clothes after he took a shower. He ran down to his mum that had breakfast ready for him. He gave Ellen a hug, which surprised her. It also surprised her that he didn’t struggle when she put a bib on him like she did the night before. William was very talkative during breakfast, and he even talked with his new teddy, that he placed on the table. Mum told him that Granny would be visiting today.
And to everyone’s surprise, Granny got a hug and a long conversation about William’s new adopted teddy, and he even admitted that he wore diapers the night before and that he woke up with dry pj and bed sheets. Granny gave him a hug, and said that small boys still wore diapers and should be treated like babies. This confused William. Why should small boys be treated like a baby? Why not little girls? At least he did not wear diapers all day and been treated like a baby. William was once again confused about his age, and smiled when he thought that he would be a big boy when he turned 11.
Granny and Ellen wanted to talk, so they left William watching Sesame Street and went in Ellen’s bedroom to talk about things.
“So how is it going?” Granny asked.
“Well he wore diapers last night. It took him a long time to admit that he needed them, but he decided that he needs them and asked. He also has a new teddy, that he hugs all the time and holds. I made him wear a bib last night, and he was mad and fought me because of it, but this morning he just let me put it on”
“So he thinks he is a little boy?”
“Yes. He thinks he needs diapers at night. Now he thinks he needs a bib and he would be lonely without his teddy. He doesn’t remember his age, but he is certain that he is not 11. He thinks he is much younger than he really is. He does not go out alone anymore and does not contact his old friends.”
“Well the subliminal messages have made him forget that he is younger and needs diapers. The new ones I am giving you will make him feel afraid of certain things.”
“What certain things?”
“Like when William sleeps in a bed, he will think that he will fall out. When he is sitting on a chair, he will think that he will fall out. The same as in a car, he will be somewhat insecure and feel that he is very low. This is where you come in. You will comfort him and make him more secure.”
“You mean treat him like a baby”
“Yes, you already have bought some things. The things you need can be bought at that special store”
“What about medicine?”
“The medicine he is getting has stopped his growth, and is making his bladder weaker. It is also making his muscles weaker, so he is a weak little thing. He is also losing his long term memory. This will continue. He will also lose his motoric skills...”
“He is not a tall boy. He is just as big as an 8 or nine year old. He hasn’t started puberty yet.”
“That’s great for our plan. He is already becoming more polite and behaved. He is already thinking about others, and he is showing that he loves you,”
“I know. I do feel like a bad mother though. Drugging and using subliminal messages on my child, and treating him like a baby. Will he always be a baby and what do I do when Summer Holidays are over? How will he go to school?”
“You are not a bad mother. You are just using extreme methods that are working. He will not always be a baby. At some stage we can stop the medicine and subliminal messages. He will slowly regain control of his bladder and mature. I thought about school. There is a special school in the countryside that has boys like William will be. They treat boys like babies, and then they help them mature, but with a proper child care and raising them to proper behaved gentlemen. Of course you will also have to raise him, and teach him how to treat others, and be a gentleman.”
William came in the room in a rush, holding his teddy tight. He was crying again. He told his mum and granny that he wet his pants. This made Granny smile. Mummy quickly gave William a hug and said that little boys wet themselves. This confused William. He could never remember wetting himself. He laid on the bed while his mum gave him new briefs on and trousers. William was thinking that if he wore a diaper like other little boys, that he would not have wet clothes. It would be less embarrassing. Then he said to himself that he did not wear diapers. Well, only at night time.
Granny soon went home. The rest of the day was spent watching cartoons on TV. He found some of his old Disney films and was watching The Lions King. He forgot how good the film was. It was sad, especially when Simba’s father died.
That night, his mother made steak and mashed potatoes. It was Williams’s favourite meal. He sat patiently when his Mum put a bib on. He thought about it when she was tying it. Did he always wear bibs? It didn’t bother him. Most likely other little boys like him wore bibs as well. In fact Granny said that little boys like him also wore diapers during the day time. They probably slept in cribs as well. He didn’t notice the medicine that mum put in the food. He was more worried that he couldn’t cut the steak. No matter how he had the knife and fork, he couldn’t cut the food. He looked at his mum in despair. She explained that little boys did not use knives, they used their baby spoon. She gave William a baby spoon and cut his meat into little pieces. William was about to shout at his mother. When was the last time that he used a baby spoon? Why was she treating him like he was only two years? At the same time, Granny said that little boys should be treated like babies. She should know because she was wise. Besides, Mum must be right. After all he couldn’t cut the meat.
Later that evening, Mum came with his glass of milk. As soon as he held it, it felt heavy. After a few minutes, he spilled the glass over him. His Mum just gave him a kiss on the forehead and said it was time to get ready for bed. While William was getting his diaper on, he didn’t think about his mum looking at his privates. He was just thinking about how he spilt the milk, was it because he was more interested in TV, or was it because the glass was too heavy? Was it heavy last night? His thoughts were wondering as he hugged his teddy to comfort him. Mum finished putting his diaper on, and pj. He snuggled in bed and soon fell asleep. Not knowing that new subliminal messages were being played, such as he could fall out of bed, he can fall off a chair; why was he so low in the car, and did the seatbelts work? Of course there were messages that little boys were still babies and needed diapers all the time.
The next morning, William woke up. He could feel that his diaper was wet, but at least the bed was wet. Suddenly William felt unsafe on the bed. It was a long way down to the floor, what if he fell down? He moved in towards the wall and looked confused and started crying. Why did he suddenly feel afraid of being in a bed? He has been sleeping in a bed for ages. Suddenly he thought it was a long way down if he fell. Mum heard him crying and gave him his teddy, so it would calm him down. Then she put a pacifier in Williams’s mouth. He felt like spitting it out, he was no baby! Only babies sucked pacifiers. But William felt his heart leaping, because he was afraid and insecure, and believe it or not, the Pacifier helped him to calm down. He decided not to spit it out, but suck on it, to sooth him down. He figured that he was not a big boy anyhow.
Ellen noticed that he did not put up a fight when she gave him a bib on at breakfast, as well as his baby spoon and plate. William really didn’t think about it. He was eating mashed bananas, so it was good that he was wearing a bib. However his heart was still afraid, he felt like the chair was very high, and he could slide off and hurt himself. He told his mum this, and she said it’s OK. Little boys were afraid of getting hurt. She would help and protect him. This made William feel much better.
Ellen told her son that they were going out shopping. She needed some things that would help him. William felt a bit worried. He really didn’t want to leave the house. He didn’t want to go in the big world. He felt very frightened. At the same time, he knew that his mother would protect him. The harder he thought about it, some memories appeared in his mind when he played with his friends outside. William could not understand these memories, how could they be true? He would not play outside without his mother. He was thinking that he was not old enough to be alone outside, when his Mum said that it was time to go. He noticed that she had a changing bag with her, but didn’t really think about it. William was on the way to the car when he ran back to the house. He forgot his teddy. He wanted his teddy to be with him. He didn’t know why, he just did.
As they were entering the car, Mum opened the back seat. She showed William the car seat. It was a big toddler seat. William laughed and thought that she was a bit crazy and gone too far. He wanted to sit in the front, like he always did. Not to make such a fuss, William put his teddy in the car seat. He hoped that his mother would accept this. She did, and said that it was him that decided.
On the way to the shops, William was looking out the window at all the telephone poles. He could feel his heart beating again, and could not figure out why he was afraid this time. He moved around in the seat, and it suddenly felt very big. He felt like he was a little boy in an adult seat. Maybe he should have sat in the toddler chair in the back of the car. His thoughts were far away when his Mum asked him if he was OK. Without thinking, William asked his Mum if she had his pacifier. Ellen smiled and took a pacifier out of her pocket. William felt a bit embarrassed about asking for a pacifier, but he quickly took it and put it in his mouth. He felt much better now. What did he do without his pacifier before?
When they arrived at the malls car park, William stood out of the car. He suddenly felt a bit weird. He could feel that he was wet. He looked down and confirmed that he wet his trousers. He started sucking his pacifier a bit more, trying to hold the tears back from his eyes. William walked up to his mum, and pointed down his trousers. His mother simply asked if he wet himself. William nodded. Ellen said that it was OK; she has bought the changing bag with her just in case. Mothers thought of everything, didn’t they? William laid in the back of the car, while his mother removed the wet clothes. It was a relief to get the wet clothes off. William hated wet clothes, but he thought that a wet diaper did not bother him. He wondered why that was? Maybe it was because he was not a big boy yet. His mother raised his naked legs and put a diaper beneath him. William spat the pacifier out and protested that he only wore diapers at night. His mother asked him what would happen if he wet himself in the shops. William thought about this. This would be the most humiliating thing that could happen to him. People will know that he couldn’t control his bladder and wet himself like a little baby. He put the pacifier back in his mouth and let his mother put the diaper on him. Just as she was taping the diaper, Jessica, one of his classmates walked by the car. She started laughing and asking her mother if it was really William that was getting a diaper on. William covered his face and hoped the ground would swallow him. It didn’t make things better when his mother said that he only had shorts that were dry. When William stepped out of the car, he could see that the shorts were very tight. You could clearly see the outline of the diaper in them, as well as the top of the diaper showed above the shorts.