What Emma Wants

Chapter Description: ​Emma has to make a trip to one of the school nurses, then it's off to the canteen with her friends after having to fend off some unwanted interest.

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“I’ll see you in the cafeteria.” I said.

“Where are you going?” Zoe replied.

“I have to, erm, see the nurse.” I was reluctant to revel the reason why though I had no doubt Zoe could divine it.

“Ah, understood.” Zoe gave me a wink as she turned around and started walking away.

In a day filled with things I hated to do this was pretty high up the list. The nurse’s office was its own little building outside the rear of the main school near the reception. I went through the door just before the reception desk and immediately cursed under my breath. The queue to see the nurse was already very long, it looked like I’d have to spend half my lunch in line behind all the other girls who had beat me there. It was usually better to try and get to the nurse outside of breaks between classes for that exact react.

It wasn’t like I had a choice in the matter though. I needed a change, and this was the only place to get one. As I joined the end of the line I stumbled and almost ended up falling into the girl in front of me. I could’ve blamed the swollen mass of padding between my legs but, in truth, I think it was my lack of coordination making itself known. I’d had more than a few people suggest I should be crawling around for my own safety, most of them weren’t joking.

My diaper was soaked but some of the girls were in a worse situation than that. The smell outside the nurse’s room was always miserable. We were outside but the fresh air was no match for a dozen messy young women.

I waited impatiently until it was finally my time to go inside. The four nurses looked rushed off their feet. Each was in front of a changing table, three of them were currently occupied but the fourth was waving me over. I didn’t really have a favourite nurse, but Nurse Loondis was the one I was most familiar with. He was male, of course, there were very few women working in the medical field.

“Hello, Emma. One or two?” The nurse said as I waddled over.

“Just one.” I mumbled. I didn’t really appreciate my diaper’s condition being broadcasted to everyone else in the room.

“Hop on up.” Nurse Loondis said.

The only thing separating me from the other girls being changed was a thin sheet acting as a wall. People tended not to think too much about the modesty of girls since we are changed by so many people. It’s sometimes assumed we didn’t have modesty at all but, for me at least, I would’ve loved not to flash myself to anyone who happened to look in my direction.

My diaper was soon exposed but before Nurse Loondis started changing me, I threw my hands down to cover the front of the padding. He sighed and looked at me doubtfully.

“We’re very busy.” Nurse Loondis said, “We don’t really have time to do this.”

“Please.” I said. I gave the nurse my best puppy dog eyes. Being seen as a pathetic girl could have its benefits sometimes.

“Fine.” Nurse Loondis said, “But you’ll have to be quick.”

That was as good as I was going to get. With the nurse supervising me I started pulling at the tapes on the diaper. My pacifier fell out of my mouth as I concentrated but even then my fingers had trouble pinching the tabs. After several attempts I managed to get it right and the wet diaper flopped down between my legs.

“Are you sure you can do this?” Nurse Loondis asked.

“Yes!” I replied impatiently.

The nurse remained doubtful as he handed me some baby wipes. I ended up accidentally dropping them into the wet diaper before using them. He tried to hand me some more of the wipes, but I didn’t close my hand in time, and they fell to the floor.

“Alright, we don’t have time for this.” Nurse Loondis said with a sigh.

“I can do it!” I complained loudly.

“You can try again another day, OK?” Nurse Loondis gave me a patronising smile.

I laid flat against the table and pouted. I was endlessly frustrated at myself. It didn’t seem to matter how much I wanted to grow up my body just wouldn’t let me. It was like I was trapped in the body of a baby still. I had so little time left to show that I was mature and able to look after myself before it would be too late.

With Nurse Loondis back in control the diaper change was relatively swift. He must’ve done thousands of them on girls like me over the years. He wiped me clean and slipped a fresh diaper underneath me.

“So, any plans for the Prom?” Nurse Loondis asked casually as he rearranged the diaper underneath me.

“I’m not going.” I replied simply.

“Really?” Nurse Loondis pulled the front of the diaper up over my private parts, “A pretty girl like you must get the attention of all the boys.”

I stared daggers at the nurse. The truth was I had been asked to the Prom, by seemingly half the boys in the graduating year, and a few in the lower ones too. I had turned them all down. All around me girls were falling over themselves trying to get a good man to take them to the dance, to make them a married woman. I couldn’t be less interested in that. I wasn’t looking to find some guy to look after me, I wanted to look after myself!

I remained silent for the rest of the change and was glad to pick up my bag and leave when it was done. As I left the row of offices, I heard the nurse calling in the next girl who hurried in as if she was worried she might leak. I stepped through the door and immediately tripped over my own feet. I tumbled down the three steps leading to the ground and landed face down and spread-eagled.

“God damn it.” I muttered to myself as tears filled my eyes.

The problem I had was that my coordination seemed to be even worse than most girls my age. It seemed a cruel irony that I was so desperate to grow up and yet was the least developed in the one metric that mattered. I got back to my feet and dusted myself down. I hurried away from the scene of my accident as if gaining separation from it could make it as if it never happened. I wiped my eyes from the tears that kept traitorously trying to fall.

“Emma, right?” A boy I only vaguely recognised stopped me as I was rushing past.

“What?” I replied. I tried to sound as belligerent and unappealing as possible. I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

“You look very pretty.” The boy continued, “Do you want to go to the Prom with me?”

I felt disgust. Not because the young man in front of me was unattractive, though he definitely was, but because as he said those words I saw a vision of my future that made me shudder. Going to the Prom with this guy I’d never spoken to before, going to the hotel room afterwards, before long I’d be wed and at home popping out babies for him. It was my idea of hell.

“No thanks.” I said simply as I turned away and continued on my journey.

The guy, whose name I still didn’t know despite his proposal, showed me how special I was by asking the same question to the next girl behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see this other girl smiling and almost acting too keen. It was difficult to tell if her enthusiasm was genuine or simply feigned to supplicate the man in front of her, something her whole life had trained her to do.

I carried on to the cafeteria and quickly saw my friends at our usual table. My circle of friends was very small, pretty much just the girls I was sitting with in class. I struggled to get on with my peers as I felt like I had nothing in common with them. Whilst I struggled to develop and learn, they seemed content with the lives planned out for them from birth. It was fine, if that’s what they really wanted, but I couldn’t help but look down my nose at them.

The two friends I had were people I had known for almost as long as I could remember. Zoe, Nicole, and I had met when we had just started school and we’d stuck together ever since. I liked them, but even with my two best friends I felt… different.

“So, Liam, tell me about that… thing.” Zoe said with a big toothy smile as she leaned forwards, elbows on the table and hands cupping her chin.

“Huh?” Liam grunted.

“The thing? The one you were talking about?” Zoe prompted, “The sport thing?”

“Oh, baseball?” Liam replied, “Yeah, I’m on the team.”

“Wow, how interesting.” Zoe replied.

I rolled my eyes as I walked around the end of the table and sat down next to Zoe. As I got my lunch out of my bag, I saw Liam adjusting in his seat across the table to look more towards me. Whilst he had been mostly checked out before his increased interest towards me was obvious to all. Except maybe Zoe.

“Hello, Emma.” Liam said brightly, “How are you?”

“Same as always.” I replied with disinterest.

It was my hope that showing that I clearly wasn’t interested in him would stop Liam from continuing. There wasn’t much chance of that though, guys weren’t used to girls thinking for themselves after all. Anything other than subservient interest and obedience was pretty alien to them.

“That’s good. I’m pretty good too.” Liam fumbled in his bag and lifted up a small trophy, “I was just telling, erm…”

“Zoe.” Zoe reminded him after a few seconds.

“Right, I was just telling Zoe I just won the “Most Improved” award on the baseball team.” Liam placed the trophy on the table and smirked confidently. I think he was expecting me to fawn over it as if he’d just placed a large diamond in front of me.

“So, you were crap, and now you’re a little less crap?” I asked. I smiled blithely as if I wasn’t aware of my insult.

Next to me, on the other side to Zoe, Nicole snorted with laughter. She clearly understood what I was going for. I almost felt bad for Liam who let a short laugh of fake good humour as he sheepishly put his award away. The problem was, of all the men at school, he had asked me out the most. He clearly had a crush on me, but the feeling wasn’t mutual. He was good looking for sure, he was very sporty which gave him a great physique, but I wasn’t interested. Zoe was though, no matter how little attention he gave her.

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