Reborn

Chapter 11
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Jack slumped into his car seat and closed his eyes whilst Emma buckled him in. It was a hot and humid Sunday afternoon, but despite the oppressive heat he wished that he was still wearing his jeans. Emma had removed them before they had left the house and despite his protests, he had been coerced into going outside whilst he was wearing only a t-shirt, diaper and a pair of shoes.

She had told him that it was too warm for him to wear his jeans, which it probably was, but it was obvious to him that it was just another one of her silly games. She knew that he was self conscious about wearing diapers and she seemed to enjoy reminding him about it. After he had been forced to spend the night sleeping in a crib, he had already guessed that there would be more surprises in store for him. So when she announced that she was taking him out to ‘enjoy the weather’, he knew that it was going to be a long day.

The prospect of appearing in public again left him strangely conflicted, filling him with both hope and fear in equal measure. On the one hand it would give him another opportunity to summon help, if he could work up the courage to do so. But her implicit threat to withhold his medication, or even worse, delay his next hospital appointment, was hanging over his head like the Sword of Damocles. He worried that if he attempted to alert someone to his plight, then she might deliberately postpone his return to the hospital. Besides he wasn’t even sure that a cry for help would be answered by a stranger, he knew that distressed toddlers were not an uncommon sight and that any plea for help might be mistaken for a mere temper tantrum.

If he could just grit his teeth and bear it until Tuesday, then he hoped that he would be rid of her for good. But time seemed to crawl by at a glacial pace and Tuesday still felt like it was weeks away. The engine roared to life and the car pulled out of the driveway, but he dared not ask where she was taking him.

He stared out of the window and admired the foliage of the passing trees, whilst thinking about his impending return to the hospital and how he would explain to Doctor Palmer that he wanted to remain there. He wondered how he would explain his sudden separation from Emma.

“Doctor, the crazy bitch made me sit in a high chair and force fed me oatmeal.”

No, he didn’t want to tell Doctor Palmer everything, at least not right away. He decided that he would tell him that they had fallen out, that would be suitably vague.

His train of thought was interrupted when he realized that he was pissing himself. A warm damp patch quickly expanded across the front of his diaper until it encompassed his whole crotch, he had come to like the sensation, though he didn’t like to admit it to himself or dwell on those thoughts for too long. The front of his diaper swelled until it pressed against the car seat strap that was in between his legs, he enjoyed the feeling for a few moments and then tried to think about something else.

The car radio was switched on and the show host was discussing the latest news with a guest, it was a welcome distraction and he listened intently. A bridge over the Yellowstone River had collapsed the previous day, causing a freight train to derail and plunge into the river. Although the word ‘freight’ sounded familiar to him, he couldn’t remember the meaning of it, he could only guess that it was a type of train. But he reasoned that if the word had been included in a daily news broadcast, then he ought to have recognized it.

He opened his mouth to speak and was about to query the meaning of the word, then stopped himself. Not only would the question have sounded childish, but it would also have been pointless. He could remember querying the meaning of the word ‘circumference’ and he could also recall that Emma had explained it to him, but he couldn’t remember exactly what she had said. He thought that it had something to do with shapes perhaps, but the precise meaning eluded him.

Jack waited impatiently and hoped that they would arrive at their destination soon, whatever Emma had planned, he just wanted to get it over and done with. He was bored of listening to the radio so he closed his eyes for a moment, just to rest them of course, before drifting off to sleep.

When he woke up he was lying on his back on a smooth hard surface, looking up at the bright blue sky. Emma was standing over him, her fingers were on his waist and he heard the tapes on his diaper being torn open.

Realizing that he was no longer in the car his eyes darted around in panic as he surveyed his surroundings. Then he discovered that, to his dismay, he was lying on a bench next to a parking lot.

Emma placed one finger over her lips and motioned for him to stay quiet, then pulled back the front of his diaper, exposing his crotch to a gentle summer breeze. He wanted to scream, but instead he remained perfectly still, like a deer caught in headlights.

Emma grabbed his ankles and lifted his legs into the air, then slid the used diaper out from underneath him. Jack caught a glimpse of a young African American woman strolling past the bench, she was clutching a set of car keys in one hand, no doubt on her way back to her own vehicle. She didn’t look directly at him of course, but he knew that she had seen him, he realized that the bench must have been in her field of view. Just knowing that she had witnessed him having his diaper changed left him feeling mortified.

Jack closed his eyes whilst Emma continued to change him, he didn’t want to know whether anyone else could see him. Once the tapes on the new diaper had been secured, he sat upright and hoped that their car wasn’t parked far away. It wasn’t, but not due to any desire on Emma’s part to spare his feelings, she simply wanted to be able to make a quick escape if he started acting up. She placed her hands underneath his armpits and bundled him into her arms, then carried him across the parking lot and back to the car.

Emma smiled triumphantly as she buckled Jack into the car seat, but he simply glared back at her, then stared off into space. When she opened her mouth to speak she was interrupted by the sound of a ringtone, so she retrieved her phone from her purse and then stepped out of the car to answer it.

She closed the door behind her and took several steps away from the vehicle, then lifted the phone up to her ear. Jack listened intently, but he couldn’t hear what she was saying, he looked up through the window and caught a glimpse of her, but he couldn’t lip read because she was facing away from the vehicle.

He wondered whether his mom might have called to check up on him, if that was the case he knew that Emma would have to make an excuse as to why he wasn’t able to speak to her. He hoped that Emma would slip up and say something that sounded suspicious, something that might alert his mom to the danger that he was in. He knew that if she thought that he was in trouble then she would book a flight and call by the house to make sure that he was okay.

But that wasn’t his preferred outcome, he had decided that he didn’t want anyone to know what Emma had subjected him to. Once they returned to the hospital, if they returned to the hospital, he wouldn’t tell anyone what had actually occurred. Even though he knew that he could probably have her arrested if he alerted the authorities, the shame of his family and friends discovering that she had changed his diaper in public would be too much to bear. He was content to allow her to escape the consequences of her actions as long as she disappeared from his life, it would be their dirty secret.

After a few minutes she returned to the car and fastened her seatbelt, then started the engine.

“Who was that?” Jack asked.

She ignored him for a few moments, then adjusted the sunglasses which were perched on her nose and smirked.

“Maybe it was Louise,” she answered, “maybe I was telling her that I just changed your pampers,” she added.

He understood that she was just teasing and that she wouldn’t openly boast to someone else, let alone Louise, that she was abusing her power. But her words had their desired affect, he grimaced at her and balled his hands into fists.

“You’re so cute when you’re angry,” she remarked, “I’ll tell you what, I’ll make it up to you. There’s an ice cream truck over there, lets go get some, the weather is perfect for it,” she continued.

He was starting to feel hungry and ordinarily he would have embraced the suggestion, but he knew that it would present yet another opportunity for Emma to publicly embarrass him, so he remained silent. But his lack of enthusiasm didn’t deter her, she switched off the engine and opened the door.

“It’s right next to the parking lot, it’ll only take a minute,” she cajoled as she stepped out of the car.

When she unbuckled his car seat he once again contemplated the possibility of asking a stranger for help. He would only need to scream that he was being kidnapped whilst he was within earshot of someone and they would surely report it to the police, even if she bundled him into the car and left in a hurry someone would be able to give a description of her vehicle.

Then the police would come looking for them and if they found him, he would have to explain to them that he was really an adult and tell them to contact Doctor Palmer. But in order to press charges against Emma he would have to tell them what she had done to him.

“When I woke up she was changing my diaper on a bench and some people saw my private parts.”

He shuddered and then dismissed the idea, he would have to find another way. Emma lifted him out of the car and then maneuvered him onto her hip, her right arm supporting his weight. He used one of his hands to shield his eyes from the glare of the sun and then glanced around, when he spotted the ice cream truck he was relieved to see that it wasn’t far away, but the parking lot was busy with people constantly coming and going. She carried him towards the truck and hummed a tune that she had heard on the radio earlier that day.

Jack was pleasantly surprised to discover that despite the warm weather, there wasn’t a queue for the ice cream, which meant that he wouldn’t be seen by many people. It was one thing to have to wear diapers, but the ignominy of being seen wearing them was unbearable.

When they got closer to the truck he saw that there was a woman inside, she was wearing an apron and she had her red hair tied back in a pony tail. When she saw Jack she smiled affectionately and he blushed, then averted his gaze.

“Hi,” Emma said.

“Hi, what can I get for you?” The ice cream lady chirped.

Emma asked for a vanilla ice cream cone and then lowered Jack down onto the floor so that she could pay for it. He stood next to her impatiently as she fumbled around in her purse, a gentle breeze cooled his bare legs. Then he heard the chatter of voices, they sounded distant at first, but they were getting closer. He looked up at Emma anxiously and watched her hand the cash over, he was sure that the voices were coming in their direction, but he didn’t dare turn around to look.

“Be careful with this Jack, try not to drop it,” cautioned Emma.

She lowered an ice cream cone into his outstretched hands and he held it carefully, not entirely sure that he would be able to avoid dropping it. He licked the ice cream and savored the taste, he didn’t think that it would be long before it would melt in the afternoon sun. Then the voices were directly behind him.

“Uh I don’t know, I think I might get strawberry,” an unknown person said.

Emma took several steps away from the ice cream truck and motioned for Jack to follow her.

“This way Jack,” she directed, “there’s a queue behind you,” she said.

He followed her and carried the ice cream carefully with both hands, assuming that they were returning to the car. But after moving to the side of the truck Emma paused and stood still, he looked up at her and wondered what she was waiting for.

“Eat your ice cream here Jack, so you don’t get any on the car seats,” she instructed.

He glanced over his shoulder and saw that the two people who had been stood behind him were now ordering their ice cream. The young woman’s hair was as dark as her sunglasses, the man who was stood next to her was retrieving dollar bills from his wallet. Although neither of them were looking directly at him, they would only have to turn their heads to see him.

Jack turned back to face Emma, licked his ice cream again and weighed up his options. As it melted on his tongue he spotted more people on the far side of the parking lot who were moving in his direction.

“Does that taste nice?” cooed Emma.

He blushed and looked down at the floor, as he did so he caught a glimpse of the babyish cartoon prints which adorned the front of his diaper, he was mortified. He removed one hand from the ice cream cone, loosened his grip with his other hand, then deliberately dropped it onto the floor.

“Oops,” Jack said.

There was a few moments of silence and when he looked up at Emma, he could tell by the expression on her face that she knew that he had done it on purpose. But he also knew that she wouldn’t be able to scold him, they were in pubic after all and to any bystanders it would have looked like an accident, the kind of thing that all toddlers do. It was only a small victory, but he still felt satisfied, for a moment at least.

Then he heard the sound of a woman giggling somewhere behind him, “oh no, that baby dropped his ice cream,” she said.