Reborn

Chapter 5
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"Wake up." Emma said.

Jack opened his eyes and groaned. Something didn't feel right, he felt cold and damp.

"Jack, you've wet the bed." Emma announced.

He sat up in bed and looked around, his jeans felt clammy.  Emma was stood by the side of the bed with a towel, looking down at him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"I know it's not your fault but if this is going to keep happening you really need to wear a diaper, at least until you can use the toilet again." Emma insisted.

He didn't want to wear diapers, but he was struggling to come up with a good reason not to wear them.

"But if I wear them I might start to rely on them, I just need more time," he protested.

"Jack, I can't wash your clothes and our bedsheets every single day. Please, can you just wear them for now?" she implored.

"Okay." Jack muttered.

He crawled out from underneath the damp covers and climbed down from the side of the bed.

"Thanks. I'll just change the bedsheets, I've left some diapers in the spare bedroom," she replied.

Jack walked out into the hallway, his jeans were soaked and rubbed uncomfortably against his skin.  He had to admit that wearing diapers would be a sacrifice worth making if it meant that he didn't have to endure wet clothes multiple times per day.

When he entered the spare bedroom he saw a package of baby diapers on the floor in the corner of the room.  As he stared at the picture of the toddler on the packaging his muscles tensed up. He took a few steps towards the package but he couldn't bring himself to go near it.  Then he heard footsteps behind him and saw that Emma had followed him into the room.

"Did you have to buy baby diapers?" he asked indignantly.

Emma folded her arms and sighed.

"Well I'm sorry, but they don't sell adult diapers in your size at the grocery store," she replied.

He knew he had asked a stupid question, but he was desperately searching for a way to preserve his dignity.

Emma walked over to the package and tore it open, before pulling out one of the diapers.

"Can you leave me alone? I'll do it myself." Jack asserted.

She tossed the diaper on the floor and marched out of the room.

With difficulty, Jack pulled down his jeans and then stepped out of them. He studied the babyish cartoon prints on the diaper and sighed.  After spreading the diaper flat on the floor, he sat down in the middle and attempted to fasten it around his waist.  The tapes were fiddly and he found it difficult to maneuver them to the right place, but after several attempts he managed to fasten them.

When he stood up the diaper felt loose around his waist, like the tapes hadn't been fastened tightly enough.  Then he realized that his t-shirt was also damp and that he might struggle to remove it by himself.  He tried pulling the t-shirt up over his head but he lacked the coordination and strength needed to fully remove it, instead it ended up stuck over his head as he fumbled awkwardly.

"How are you getting on?" Emma asked, poking her head around the corner of the doorframe.

"Fine!" Jack insisted.

"Jack, please let me help you take your shirt off," she requested, as she walked over to him.

Bending down, she pulled the t-shirt off of his head and helped him to maneuver his arms out of the sleeves.

"And that diaper needs fastening properly or it might leak," she observed.

Jack froze as Emma knelt down on the floor in front of him.  He knew what she was about to do and he wanted to protest, but before he could say anything her hands were already reaching down towards his waist.  He flinched instinctively when he felt her fingers on his waist.

"It'll only take a few seconds," she remarked.

She quickly adjusted the tapes on his diaper and he felt it tighten around his waist.

"I bought two pairs of those jeans so you can wear the other ones today." Emma advised.

Jack didn't reply, he felt like he had been violated.  He couldn't believe that she had adjusted the tapes on his diaper without even asking him.

Emma helped Jack into a new t-shirt and then left a pair of jeans on the floor for him to put on by himself.

"I'm going to make breakfast, do you want waffles?" she asked.

"Sure," he mumbled.

Jack sensed that the dynamics of their relationship had been permanently altered.  She now thought nothing of violating his personal space, she didn't even seem to realize that she had done anything wrong.  After putting on his jeans, Jack stood silently and tried to translate his feelings into words, until the smell of breakfast drew him towards the kitchen.

When he passed by the dining room, he remembered that he wouldn't be big enough to sit at the dining room table and wondered where he would be able to eat his meal.  He walked timidly into the kitchen and watched Emma prepare the food.

"Jack, do you want to eat breakfast in the living room?" she queried, "you know, because of the dining room and..." she continued.

"Yeah, okay," he replied, nodding his head.

Emma carried the plate through to the living room and placed it on a coffee table, which she then pulled up to the very edge of the couch.  Jack followed her through into the living room and climbed onto the couch, although his legs dangled over the edge, he could comfortably reach the plate on the coffee table.

Emma placed a knife and fork next to the plate, then frowned.

"Actually, can you still use these?" she asked.

Jack shrugged his shoulders.

"I can try," he replied.

He picked up the butter knife carefully, but it felt too unwieldy for him to be able to maneuver it precisely, he felt like he was holding a large carving knife.  He moved the knife gingerly towards the waffle, but before he could reach his target the knife slipped from his grasp and clattered against the table.

Emma picked up the knife and began to cut the waffle into smaller pieces.

"Do you want a drink of water? I have some plastic cups." Emma said.

Jack nodded his head.  He used his fingers to pick up pieces of the waffle, which was smeared with chocolate sauce.  He ate his breakfast ravenously, barely pausing for breath.  When Emma returned with a small cup of water, he carefully used both hands to lift it up to his mouth and quench his thirst.  After he had finished his breakfast he watched television for a while, which temporarily distracted him from his troubles.

Whilst he was watching the television, he attempted to pick up the plastic cup of water without watching what his hands were doing.  He had lifted the cup halfway to his mouth when he lost his grip and the cup fell onto the couch, spilling it's contents everywhere.

Jack scanned the room looking for something that he could use to clean up the mess, but the water quickly soaked into the fabric of the couch.

"Are you okay?" Emma queried.

Jack looked up and saw her stood in the doorway to the living room.

"I...uh...spilled water," he stammered.

"It's okay I'll get a towel," she replied.

Jack moved to the other side of the couch so that his clothes didn't get wet.  When Emma returned she placed a towel on the damp patch and assessed the damage.

"There's some sauce from your breakfast on here too," she noted, pointing to a chocolate smudge on the fabric.

"Sorry, I'm still getting used to these hands." Jack replied, shrugging his shoulders.

Emma left the room and returned with a damp washcloth.  As she approached the sofa Jack became aware of a peculiar sensation in his body.  The first thing that he noticed was that his crotch felt warm, then he could feel a steady stream of urine spurting out of his body. He realized that he was pissing himself in front of Emma and he froze in panic.

She bent down over the sofa and rubbed the sauce stain with a cloth.  Jack tried to tense his muscles and stop the flow of urine, but the warm moist feeling was spreading down the front of his diaper.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked.

Jack glanced up at her and they briefly locked eyes.

"Yeah," he replied, as he looked away from her and hoped that she wouldn't notice.

As Emma stood back up she cleared her throat and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"If you need help with...anything, let me know," she offered, before leaving the room.

Jack wondered whether she had noticed a change in his body language.  He contemplated going to the restroom to change his diaper, but he didn't want her to know that he had soiled himself, so he decided to continue watching television as though nothing had happened.

He looked down at his jeans and noticed a bulge in-between his legs.

How long will it take her to notice? He thought.

Initially the warmth from the soaking diaper felt strangely comfortable and aside from the emotional embarrassment, it didn't bother him.  But as time passed by he started to feel increasingly cold and clammy.  As he watched television he occasionally moved to a different position on the couch, attempting to alleviate his discomfort.  Hours passed by until he could no longer bare the irritation.  When Emma started to prepare dinner, he sensed an opportunity to change himself without her noticing.

Jack climbed down from the sofa and waddled to the spare bedroom.  He saw that the package of diapers, which had previously been on the floor in the corner of the room, had been moved on top of a shelf.  Standing in front of the shelf, he stretched out his hands above his head and tried desperately to pull the package over the edge, but it was still out of reach.  He conceded defeat and realized that there was no way to conceal his accident.

"Emma!" he hollered.

Hearing footsteps in the hallway, he braced himself. When she stepped into the room he took a deep breath.

"Yeah?" she replied.

She saw Jack looking up at the shelf and then noticed the diapers.

"Oh...sorry," she stammered.

"Why would you put them up there?" he squawked.

"I was just cleaning, I forgot," she explained.

Emma took the diapers and then placed them back on the floor, before leaving the room.

Jack attempted to change himself, but once again he had difficulty securing the tapes on the new diaper.  He struggled for several minutes, before fastening them the best that he could, but when he stood up the diaper still felt loose around his waist.

"Do you need any help in there?" Emma asked.

"No, just give me a minute," he replied.

He unfastened one of the tapes, but when he tried to readjust it he lost his grip, leaving the diaper hanging off of his body.

"Jack, there's no shame in asking for help," she asserted.

"Fine," he grunted.

Emma stepped into the room and looked down at Jack.  One side of his diaper was haphazardly taped together and he was holding the other side together with his hands.  Bending down, she swiftly readjusted the tapes, tightening the diaper around his waist.

"Dinner will be ready soon," she announced.

Jack couldn't even bring himself look at her, let alone speak to her.  He knew that she was just trying to help him, but he was mortified.  Once she had left the room he put his jeans back on and then sat down on the floor, before burying his face in his hands.  He stayed there for a while, ruminating over his problems, but eventually the smell of cooking drew him towards the kitchen.

He stopped in the hallway to take in the aroma.  He wasn't sure what it was, but it smelled delicious.  He thought about going into the kitchen to see what Emma was making, but he was still too ashamed to talk to her.  He instead decided to wait in the living room and he hoped that he would be able to eat his meal on the couch.

When Emma arrived with dinner he quietly thanked her and climbed onto the couch.  When she placed the plate on the coffee table, she didn't even bother to give him the knife and fork. Instead she cut the food into small pieces herself and took the utensils away with her. Once again he ate with his fingers, devouring the meal piece by piece.  The food was delicious, but by the time he had finished everything on his plate, he was starting to feel drowsy.

Jack clambered down from the couch and yawned, before making his way towards the bedroom. As he climbed onto the bed he caught a glimpse of the alarm clock and realized that it was only six o'clock.  He didn't want to make a habit of going to bed so early, so he opted to find something to keep him occupied.

Jack remembered that he had left some of his old books in a set of drawers in the spare bedroom and he decided to go look for something to read.  When he reached the chest of drawers he realized that he was only tall enough to reach the bottom two.  He pulled open the bottom drawer and began rummaging through it's contents.  Eventually he found a novel that he hadn't read for several years, but he remembered enjoying the story and he decided to have another read of it to pass the time.

He lifted the book out of the drawer and brushed the dust off of it's cover, before carrying it back to bed with him.  When he opened the book, he found that it was more difficult to turn the pages than he had remembered.  Every time he tried to grasp hold of an individual page, his fingers seemed to grab three or four pages at once and he had to take more time to separate them. After a short struggle, he found the first page of the story and began reading.

Soon he was distracted from his struggles and engrossed in the story, it was just as good as he had remembered it being.  But before he had finished the second chapter, he came across a word that troubled him.  It was a word that he didn't recognize.  He thought about the word carefully and wondered whether it might have been borrowed from another language.  But he thought that if that was the case, then surely he would have looked up the meaning of the word when he had last read the novel.

He put aside his concerns momentarily and decided to carry on reading.  Then when he turned the page and continued reading, the same thing happened again, he noticed another word that he didn't recognize.  He searched his memory but he was certain that he had never seen the word before.  He was becoming increasingly concerned and he decided that it was more than a coincidence.

"Emma? Emma?" he called out in a shrill voice.

He waited for a response, but when he didn't hear anything he decided to call her again.

"Emma!" he yelled.

He heard the sound of footsteps and movement in the hallway, then moments later Emma marched into the room.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Jack was surprised by the tone of her voice, she almost sounded irritated.

"Something's wrong, the...the words" he stammered, pointing at the book.

"What's wrong? What about the words?" she asked.

Jack noticed that her eyes were red and puffy, as though she had been crying. But he was too preoccupied with his own problems to ask her whether she was okay.

"I don't know some of the words, I don't know what they mean," he explained, with a look of alarm.

"Which words? Show me." Emma replied, wiping her eyes.

He pointed to a word on the page.

"This one, I think it says Inter...kepted." Jack said.

Emma bent down to get a closer look at the writing.

"It's pronounced Intercepted, you don't recognize it?" she asked.

Jack chastised himself for pronouncing the word incorrectly.  He knew that the letter C didn't make the K sound and he couldn't understand why he had pronounced it wrong.  But he still couldn't remember the word or it's meaning.

"So it's a real word? Should I know it?" he queried.

Emma twirled her hair with her fingers and frowned.

"Yeah, it means...how can I put it? If you intercept something, you stop it before it reaches it's destination. Like, intercepting a car before it can arrive somewhere...or intercepting a message," she explained.

Jack flipped the page and pointed to another word.

"I don't know this one either, circum...ference," he stuttered.

Emma took a deep breath. Jack looked up at her and noted the look of worry on her face.

"Errm, that's the length around a circle," she revealed.

His eyes widened and his heart started to beat faster.

"And I should know those words?" Jack asked.

An awkward silence permeated the room and Emma seemed to be struggling to muster a response.

"We...should go back to see Doctor Palmer tomorrow," she suggested.

"What if...what if I'm losing my mind," Jack gasped.

"You've been through a lot Jack, it might not be anything to worry about. I'll take you back to see the Doctor tomorrow, try not to worry until then," she advised.

Jack closed the book and then flopped onto the pillow.

"I can't believe this is happening," he lamented.

"You've got a big day tomorrow, now try to get some rest" she suggested, "I'll go get you something to drink," she continued.

Jack stared at the ceiling.  It felt like a million thoughts were running through his mind and he couldn't untangle them.  He fretted about the possibility that he might forget more words, or that he might forget how to read altogether.  But he felt drowsy and the more he worried the more mentally exhausted he became.  After several minutes of anguish he closed his eyes and his thoughts started to ebb away.

When Emma returned to the bedroom with a glass of water Jack was already sound asleep. She placed the cup on a bedside table and then returned to the living room, where she stared out of the window.

She was lost in thought for several minutes until the sound of a ringtone brought her back to reality.  She recognized that the sound was coming from Jack's cellphone, which had laid untouched in the kitchen since they had arrived home the previous day.

When she reached the kitchen the phone was still ringing and she didn't recognize the number on the screen.  She thought about allowing it to go to voicemail, but when the phone continued to ring she picked it up and answered the call.

"Hello." Emma said.

"Hi, who is this?" a female voice asked.

Emma didn't recognize the woman's voice and she thought that it might be someone from the hospital.

"I'm Emma, Jack's girlfriend. Who are you?" Emma replied.

"Oh...I...this is...awkward," the stranger stammered.