Chapter Description: With his mother needed at work, Johnny is staying with his neighbours. Can he play nicely with four year old Calli who is now nearly double his age?
I awake feeling relaxed and protected. Scully is the first thing I see and shortly thereafter I notice that I’m not wet, not even slightly. Wanting this feeling to last, but feeling already too much awake to doze, I take Scully and balance him on my feet. These are protected in footed sleeper, allowing me to feel warm even with the sheet off. Everything feels so cuddly. Scully, the bed protection under me, my sleeper. I let Scully land on my stomach and embrace him grinning. Now I’m ready for the day!
As I leave my room I hear mommy’s voice coming out of the living room. Curious if we have another guest like last evening I silently tiptoe closer, though the thicker night-time training pants make it make it a bit harder to move gracefully, feeling like a spy. I imagine myself surprising mommy by jumping in the room, holding my hand like a gun and screaming *bang*. It turns out mommy is busy talking to the phone.
"No. No listen Jim I’m having really having trouble here."
Silence as she is listening while sitting on the couch.
"No it is not just the time schedule but you signing in without asking me."
A longer silence, after which mother looks still unhappy but resigned.
"Okay let us go through this point for point," she concedes. "I program the entry. You will..."
I sneak back into my room. Eavesdropping is bad sometimes. Also besides these topics being boring to me it doesn’t feel good to hear mommy speaking in this stressed voice. It is so different from the voice she now speaks with me and reminds me that she very much lives in a grown-up world, working hard so I can be happy.
This drains my enthusiasm and leaves me depressed. Am I selfish? Mommy would say no, but this is what mommy’s are supposed to say. There isn’t much I could to with my current age. I get health assistance sure, but it isn’t too much really. Feeling unbelievable helpless I grab Scully and hold him close, feeling a little better again. I come to the decision that the best I can do for her is to be silent while she works. My eyes wander to the clock but I stop them. It is playtime, that is all that is important right now.
There is the computer I have probably neglected longer than ever since I got it and I feel tempted to climb on the chair and search the wide plains of the internet for news. Then I discover my toys lying in a boy under the window, my firetruck at the top of them and I decide to go for them. There will be probably only bad news in the internet and besides the chair is too high for me and still leaves me having problems seeing the monitor and using the mouse. My toys are perfectly sized for me and I can play together with Scully, so he won’t be bored!
At first I just play with my firetruck, creating little fires to put out just with my mind. Then I use my blocks to create buildings -skyscrapers really!- and drive the firetruck around them. Scully gets a place on the largest I made just for him. He is of King Kong like size. His eyes seem to glitter with fun and I smile, too, all grown-up trouble long forgotten. I’m making siren sounds and not even noticing it. Finally I use my ball to let the tower fall down and laugh at the sight. Again I build them up and imagine it being a town. People go to work, but I don’t think about which work, just earning-money-work. Everyone is nice to everyone else and especially to me, for I’m the town’s fireman. I put out fire, save kitten from trees and get cakes and cuddles. Why can’t the world be as simple as this?
Meditating this I crouch in front of the blocks, when I suddenly notice the pressure in my bowels and bladder. It is quite early, but mommy is busy, I’m in the middle of playing and the training-pant is thicker than my regular one, so I decide to make a big one today. I instinctively curl my toes on the soft floor. There is still resistance in my mind, but I try to relax and feel a certain muscle slowly give in.
"Hey Johnny," mommy’s voice says from behind. "Are you playing?"
My muscle gets hard again at once. More than that, I loose balance and fall on my butt. Looking up I sheepishly grin into my mothers face and nod, feeling clever for fooling her. She kneels down and gives me a kiss on my forehead.
"Time for the day."
First mommy helps me out of my sleeper and brushes teeth with me standing only in my night-time-training-pant under her on my step stool by the sink. After this it is potty time she uses to put my night-time-training-pant in the garbage and let me step into a regular one after cleaning me. I am a bit sad by its thinness in comparison to the one I slept in, but console myself that I can play better in it. I sit at the table and mother is putting some cereals and milk in the bowl before me, when her cell-phone rings.
I can see mommy’s face becoming unhappy when she sees the number on the display, also she turns away from.
"Mike I told you I would call back in thirty minutes," she says. "No, no it is all manageable."
I begin to eat my cereals. They taste good, maybe better than ever before, but it is hard to use the spoon the right way as I can only lead it in in a awkward angle. To get a bit higher I put my legs under me. This position suits me better to eat, but after a time my legs always start to hurt.
"I don’t do the PR you can tell this Claire!"
I smile, remembering Claire. She and her husband once ate with us, bringing Keith, her one year old son with her. Maybe we can play together the next time they visit us. Then I remember it was maybe four years ago, meaning Keith is either in Kindergarten or maybe even elementary school. Time passes, except for me.
"The server will be ready if we use our own standard," mommy says in her too earnest voice. "You know this."
I am so lost in thought that I only notice that the spoon missed my mouth, when I notice the milk running down my breast. Looking down I don’t quite know what to do, but when I instinctively look up at mommy I see she already has seen it. She quickly grabs a paper towel and wipes my breast and mouth, all the time continue talking.
"We have talked about this a year ago."
While she tells Mike this she takes something out of a cupboard. I don’t recognize it until the puts it around my neck. It is my bib! She gives me a big smile which tells me everything is okay and I smile in return before her face gets earnest again and she continues talking to her colleague. I’m fine with that, as I now know she is there for me, too. Feeling better I continue eating, without dropping something this time.
When we are done eating mommy dresses me.
"You heard that there is trouble at mommy’s work?"
I nod under the shirt she puts over my head.
"I have to got to them to fix it."
I figured this out already.
"I will be good here," I promise.
Mommy gives me a warm smile an adult would probably find condescending.
"You are too little to be on your own darling," she reminds me. "I already asked Mrs. Dormin to watch out for you."
Babysit would be the fitting term, but I don’t say that while she puts socks on me.
"No, you will stay by Mister and Mrs. Dormin in their flat. Calli is there, too, so you can play," mommy notices. "If this is okay for you."
The question alone means a lot. Having nothing prepared organizing another babysitter, maybe a professional would at last need a hour. Mommy is willing to risk trouble at work so I don’t feel bad, so there is only one think for me to say.
"Okay," I lie.
Mommy gives me a hug.
A little later mommy carries me down the stairs to the Dormins’s flat. I wear no shoes, but my blue, red-striped socks. In my arms I hold Scully close to me, not just to not let him fall, but because he is comforting right now. Mommy knocks at the door and Mrs. Dormin opens shortly after.
"Oh hello Johnny," she greets me with this special tone of adults for little children. "Did you have a nice morning?"
Subconsciously I embrace mommy a little more, feeling a rising cold inside of me.
"He feels a bit shy today," she explains.
"Oh it is alright," Mrs. Dormin replies. "You will see, Calli knows wonderful games!"
I don’t really know if I want to play girly games, but know I have no words in this matter.
"Here is his potty, a spare training-pant, his fire-truck and other things," mommy says, handing her over a bag.
Mrs Dormin nods and mommy sets me down, kneeling in front of me, so we are eye to eye.
"It is as I told you. You will have a nice morning here, play with Calli, watch your shows and eat a bit. After your meal and a nice little sleep I will probably be there already to pick you up. Okay?"
I nod and mommy gives me a much needed hug.
"You have my number," mommy says.
"He will be all right," Mrs. Dormin replies and lays a hand on my shoulder.
Mummy ruffles my hair and then leaves, as I’m lead away from the door which closes behind me.
"Shall we see to get you something to occupy yourself with?" Miss Dormin asks. "It has been long since you have been here Johnny. Do you remember?"
I don’t know what to say on this, so I just look up at her. She suddenly looks so big, as does the flat, though it isn’t larger than ours. Still the different furniture, tapestry and floor makes it look so strange. I need a moment to realize that it isn’t this at all, at last not completely, but that I already miss mommy. Shuddering I embrace Scully a bit tighter.
Miss Dormin sees this and takes it for an answer, picking me up and giving me a cuddle. It is not as good as mommy’s, but still helps a bit. As she carries me away, I try to suppress my feelings with the knowledge, that it isn’t for long, but this adult argument helps little against the feelings of a toddler, so I try to get comfort in the warmth of Miss Dormin’s embrace.
"Let us get you something to eat," she coos. "Would you like this?"
I don’t feel particularly hungry, but guess something sweet will help, doesn’t it always? As she carries me into the kitchen I ponder how strange it is that I don’t feel scarred of being exposed anymore. It seems in my mind there is only place for one sort of fear now. In the kitchen Mister Dormin looks up from his newspaper and scowls at me before hiding behind it again. I wonder a bit, but am at once distracted, once Miss Dormin sets me down in front of the fridge. I look forward to have maybe a chocolate bar distract me from my troubles, but she hands me a carrot instead.
"Sweet!", I complain.
Miss Dormin smiles down on me. "Too much sweet is bad for little boys and sweet before lunch is no-no even for big ones."
"Oh by god Elsa give him some chocolate," Mr. Dormin begins. "It isn’t that he has to grow up!"
His wife gives him a look. "Hush Conrad."
They both share a look I can’t really read, so I begin to numble at the carrot with a nervousness I don’t need to fake.
"Well how would you like playing with Calli?" she finally asks.
Not waiting for an answer, she leads me out of the kitchen under the grim eyes of her husband. I feel confused and am still thinking about it so that entering Calli’s room is another little shock for me. The last time I was here while babysitting her, there still was a crib and a changing table. Now the crib is replaced with a little girlÂ´s bed with motives of Elsa and Anna from Frozen... and lots of pink. Indeed the whole room has much of this, more than I remember. The walls have motives of unicorns, fairies and princesses. I canÂ´t help but wish for blue and some cars on it, maybe even knights and dragons. Maybe it is just social conditioning, but I still feel not too happy with this colors.
"Calli look who comes to visit us," Miss Dormin says.
I see a movement in a tent like dome and a moment later CalliÂ´s head emerges from it, she looks curious, first at her mother, then at me.
"Johnny comes to visit us," her mother replies. "Say hello Calli."
"Huwo," she says.
"You two can play nicely and later you can watch cartoons."
Calli nods and while she smiles proudly her mother hands me my fire-truck. Feeling a bit more relaxed by holding the well known weight and not really knowing what else to do I let myself fall on my knees and begin moving it, Scully besides me. Seemingly satisfied, Miss Dormin rubs my hair and leaves, leaning the door very close. Why I realize a moment later.
"You could have been nicer to Johnny," she chides.
"He should be out seeing girls and not waiting to piss himself," Mister Dormin replies, his tone making clear he doesn’t care if I or for that matter his daughter listen.
"It is like it is," a moment of silence. "You should be happy your mother stopped at nine."
"No Conrad it is true and you should finally visit her for god’s sake. She misses you."
"This girl isn’t my mother."
I can hear steps coming nearer and for fear he would come in the nursery. Instead there is the sound of a door opening and closing with something close to a bang. So Mister DorminÂ´s mother has gotten younger, too. This explains a lot, though I wonder why I have not heard of it before. Deciding that it isn’t really my business I move my fire-truck forward again while crawling forward, eyeing for the bunch of toys -some blocks an a little people house- in the corner. When I pass the tent I look in, seeing Calli giving her baby-doll a bottle, looking quite unhappy and figure she has heard her parent’s argument, too. The toys are tempting, but I don’t want her to be unhappy, especially with me being ultimately responsible for it.
"Hi," I greet her.
She looks up, saying nothing.
"I’m Johnny," I try it again.
"You are a baby"
"You wear a diaper," she replies. "Only babies wear diapers."
"I don’t need to wear training-pants any more, not even at night," Callie proclaims proudly. "I’m big girl."
I try to look impressed and a part of me even is. She looks bigger than me -is bigger than me-, even more a part of me tells me she is older and so I have to look up to her. It is like with the boy at the mall, though not as strong and I guess it is because she is a girl. I watch her closely cradling her doll and remember mother talking about the possibility of me being a girl had I suffered the AR-TG-Virus instead of the normal version. Were I a girl I guess I would cradle my own doll now, too. I’m a boy, so I don’t, but still there is the hint of an urge in me to copy her. Were I a girl I think it would be much stronger.
Still I sit down, my legs spread and instinctively watch her closely. She looks big, more secure of herself than I, her movements more refined. I feel my thumb go for my mouth, feeling suddenly really small, insecure and not nearly as in control as she is. Even my training-pant feels more pronounced beneath my jeans. For a moment I try to fight this feeling, but then give in. Living according to my age is what it is about after all. So I sit there sucking my thumb.
"Gramma is little, too," Calli says without looking up.
Calli looks up and smiles at me, removing perfect baby teeth.
"You’re silly baby!" she says and giggles.
I grin while still sucking my thumb. The giggling is catching. Calli stands up, letting her doll lying in the corner and grabs my free hand, pulling me up with her. I just manage to pluck my thumb out of my mouth to take my fire-truck, when I’m pulled forward. Callii is strong! She makes me stand near the toys and then begins opening my trousers. Too surprised to react, I let her pull it down and wriggle out of it with my legs, standing there in t-shirt with a motive from Cars on it, socks with dinosaurs on it and my pirate training-pants.
"Baby sit down," she orders with a commanding voice.
I feel something in me want to obey and also find nothing too wrong with it, so I sit down, only to have Calli kneel in front of me. She grabs my legs and pulls them up, making me roll on my back. I figure out what she wants even before she grabs one of her doll’s diapers from somewhere. Instead of resisting I go with the flow, first looking at my fire-truck, then at my feet above me, trying to grab them, content with Calli taking care of me, for after all she is the big kid.
Calli meanwhile frowns, while holding the diaper. She seems to ponder something and finally grabs a plastic toy showing the drawing of a baby being powdered and begins shuttling it over my. Although nothing comes out of it I think she does it very good. Then she puts the diaper under me, though of course it is much too small and merely lies under me when she lets go of my legs.
"Baby is ready," she still proclaims proudly.
I nod, guessing I am her first living test-object and am quite pride of this, too. More than it I feel like getting used to being called baby by her.
"Wanna play house?" she asks.
I nod again.
"Me fireman," I proclaim proudly.
She shakes her head.
"You are daddy."
I comply, mostly because I still can pretend to be a daddy who works as fireman.
We first play house and then a bit with her blocks. I even make arches to drive my fire-truck, through. Then Calli calls to a tea party and she places her doll at a small table while I put Scully besides her. In between Miss Dormin comes in to bring us some tomatoes, bananas-sandwiches without crust, cheese and clementines. She also hands us both sippy-cups. Mine is the one mother bought for me and I’m quite happy about this surprise. Watching Calli I copy her movement and begin sucking the liquid. It turns out to be some sort of mild tea. Not a rival for coca cola, but I won’t complain. We continue to play and when she comes back to tell us it is time for our naps, I can’t believe it is that late already.
"Do you need to go potty Johnny?"
I nod after realizing surprised that my bladder feels full. Miss Dormin leads me into the kitchen and places my potty on the ground just like it is in my kitchen. She even pulls my training-pant down and places me on it. Still I can’t quite let go, until Calli comes in.
"The baby has potty?" she asks.
"It’s fireman-potty!" I explain proudly.
Suddenly it comes out loudly, making Calli giggle and me smile at the same time. Miss Dormin cleans my groin as quick and professional, that I don’t have enough time to feel ashamed. A minute later I and Calli lie side by side on her bed, I with Scully in my arm, she with her doll. Miss Dormin is softly going through our hair, while a quiet nursery song is playing from somewhere. I don’t think I can nap, though, as I begin to worry what mommy is doing, but a moment later everything is black.
I wake up to Calli bouncing on the bed. Surprised at first I quickly join her, my sleepiness evaporating at once. It is fun to do this, to feel my whole body being active and I join her in laughter at once. Unfortunately, maybe because IÂ´m distracted, or maybe not as dexterous as her I manage to fall of the bed and land on my butt. It is a toddler bed, so not as high as mine, plus my butt is a bit protected by my training-pant, still it hurts and the sharp transition from fun to pain shocks me even more.
It is uncontrollable like when I woke up wet yesterday and now it is worse for I know mommy isn’t there to make it better. This realization makes it much, much worse. Lost in physical and emotional pain, I don’t even notice Miss Dormin coming in and only realize it once she picks me up and sets me on her lap while sitting on her daughter’s bed.
"Oh poor darling," she coos "Did you fall down?"
I want to tell her how I feel, but what comes out of my mouth isn’t even comprehensible for me.
"Shhh," Miss Dormin says softly. "Mommy will be there soon."
With this she begins rubbing my bag, until my bawling finally calms down to a small hiccup. I still feel on the edge though, something the grown-up seems to understand, for she hands me Scully. Embracing my friend I find a little relieve in his softness.
"Do you want to see some cartoons now, Johnny?"
I don’t -can’t- reply, but Miss Dormin seemingly doesn’t expect it. Instead she stands up, holding me close and carries me in the living room, Calli following. She then lays me on the couch, Scully still in my arm and covers me with a blanket. After she switches the TV on, showing an episode of "My little Pony", she leaves, only to return a moment later with my sippy cup and kitchen towel. She cleans my face, making me sneeze, before placing the sippy cup in front of me.
"Oh you poor thing."
She goes through my hair one last time and then leaves me to rest. I feel still a bit like crying at first, needing to hold Scully really close, but then I begin looking at the TV. It isn’t that I follow the plot or anything, it are just some ponies running around for me, but the movements, happy voices and bright colors distract me. Somehow this helps and after a while I begin to feel thirsty. Sitting up I grab my sippy-cup and begin to drink the tea. Crying dries up, another thing to learn.
I watch more interested now. "My little Pony", isn’t my sort of show, too much talk, but it is really better than just staring into thin air. The sippy-cup is empty before I even realize it and I catch myself looking to the clock. This isn’t what a toddler should do, also it doesn’t even helps me since mommy didn’t tell me when she would be back. Feeling guilty about acting too adult, I look back at the TV.
One of the ponies, the blue one with wings and a rainbow-colored mane plus tail, flies wildly around. Throw a look at Scully I know he can do so, too, after all I saw him fly on TV. Leaving the empty sippy-cup on the couch I grab him, slide off the couch and crawl under the table until I reach Calli. She has seemingly taken a doll in the form of the pony and now brushes its hair. Silently I sit besides her, clutching Scully and sucking my thumb. Enjoying not needing to think too much. Finally the show ends.
"Scully can fly, too!" I tell her, feeling it very important to be said.
"Not as fast as Rainbow Dash."
To proof her point, Calli jumps up, holds the doll high in the air and runs around with it. I jump after her, holding Scully high. We run through the whole living room and around the table. Calli has longer legs and knows the room, but I want to protect my friend’s name, so I’m always behind her. Finally she lets herself fall on her knees on the soft carpet. I want to join her, but suddenly my bladder gives in and I feel the front of my pull-up getting very warm. Surprised I touch its front, while Calli is looking with understanding in her eyes.
Miss Dormin comes in.
"Do you two have fun?" she asks.
"The baby made pee-pee!" Calli says.
"Oh Johnny did you have an accident?" her mother asks me, kneeling down in front of me.
I feel the training-pant sagging, getting cooler and know the coins, the pirate-treasure-coins, are disappearing, so I nod shortly, feeling ashamed.
"Is the wee-wee empty now?" she asks further.
I nod, again, feeling more ashamed and closer to tears every second.
"Now, now," she says, laying a hand on my shoulder. "Everyone has accidents sometimes. Calli had some, too."
"Had not!" Calli replies indignantly.
"I remember better young lady," her mother replies smiling and unfastens my training-pant, making it slow to be sure I don’t let drop anything on the carpet. "See better already!"
"He has a little wee-wee!", Calli notices.
"All little boys have little wee-wees Calli," Miss Dormin notices, standing up. "Play a bit you two."
I felt quite hit by the little wee-wee comment, though not as much as I probably would have a week before. Having your groin regularly cleaned by your mommy helps getting over such things as modesty. Still I feel better with my t-shirt hiding it a bit. As Miss Dormin leaves I crouch to hide my groin better and look at Scully, asking myself how he sees me. Well at last he has no problems being naked.
"I don’t have accidents any more," Calli says proudly. "Not even at night."
"I was big," I say to counter it, but it comes out weak, defensive.
Calli shrugs her shoulders. "Now you are little."
I know she is right and part of me is happy that she accepts it such easily in contrast to her father. Would other children accept it so easily, too? Contemplating it I look at Scully, guessing he would know.
"Let’s play," Calli tells me, seemingly bored, for her mother switched off the TV.
I nod and follow her. Before we can leave the room though, Miss Dormin blocks the path.
Calli squeals and tries to run past her mother, but thus captures her and holds her in her arms, while extending one hand to me. I take it and let her lead me into the bathroom where the tube is already filled with bubble-water. Miss Dormin sets her daughter on the toilet and quickly undresses her, before putting her in the tub. Then she removes my socks and shirt and puts me besides her.
Calli already has taken a green ball from a bag between us. I take a yellow duck and touch it, looking at my playmate. She kneels in front of me, looking at her ball, so I can see her completely. Of course she has no breasts, but there is a slit where my wee-wee is. Once I would have been excited seeing such from a woman, but she is no woman, no more than I’m a man.
I replace Calli with the mental image of a naked Susan Willis sitting there. Susan was the hottest girl in my class, but I find my mind more focused on her breasts, as a slight hunger rises in me. The feeling I once had for the other gender is just a faint memory which I know will become strange over time. We are just two little children and right now my ducky interests me more than anything a girl could have. Laughing at this realization I let the duck sail to Calli, who in return throws her ball to me, but such close and with such force, that it makes a splash. Seeking revenge I whirl my legs to make waves, making her wet, which she replies by making waves with her hand. Such fun!
We are so occupied throwing balls, playing with the duck and shaping the foam, that I barely notice that Miss Dormin is cleaning us with a washcloth. Finally it is over and she first pulls Calli out of the tub and dries her and then does the same with me. Calli runs off into her room, obviously to play and I quickly run after her, laughing and stark naked like she is, but barely registering this or even Miss Dormin calling me back to finish me. It feels great to run around like this and don’t feeling a hint of modesty holding you back. In the nursery, we begin to play with blocks, when after a moment Miss Dormin comes in.
"Little tots!", she comments.
She lifts me up with one arm and puts a training-pant under me in which I step as she pulls it up. Satisfied with me she turns to her daughter, handing her a panty with an Elsa-motive on it.
"First this little lady."
Calli obliges and puts it on, making her mother leave with her head shaking in amusement.
A little while later she calls us for an afternoon snack in the kitchen and we follow obediently, taking place besides each other on the bank. Once again I notice the size difference between us, as Calli can reach the table comfortably by sitting like an adult, while I have to put my legs under me to do so. Miss Dormin notices this and looks at me a moment before leaving the room. When she comes back she carries a high chair. It is a wooden one with a white seat of cushioned plastic.
"No need for you to have your little legs hurt!" she comments as she lifts me from the bank in the high chair. She straps me in and pulls it close to the table so I am not able to get out. "Better isn’t it?"
I nod. It really is, as it brings me eye to eye with Calli, also it feels soft and comfortable, far from the hardness of normal chairs. Even its size fits me perfectly with a little board being just in high of my feet to place them on it. The straps don’t bother me as I don’t want to leave and they strangely make me feel secure. Best of all it isn’t in pink or anything.
Satisfied, Miss Dormin places the food on the table. It are little tomatoes and, sliced bananas and a sort of biscuit. I want to grab them, but they are out of reach. Miss Dormin smiles at my futile effort and seems to get an idea, she goes out again and when she comes back, quickly steps behind me.
"Just to be sure!", she says, putting a bib around my neck, which covers my whole breast.
Surprised I look at it and smile when I notice it has a lion on it. Miss Dormin meanwhile puts a shirt with the Little Ponies over her daughter.
"You don’t need a bib, do you Calli?"
Calli shakes her head and Miss Dormin smiles while she first puts some food on her daughter’s plate and then on mine. Then she hands a fork to her daughter.
"You know how to use a fork, do you Calli?"
I don’t have any fork and I need a moment to figure it out: Miss Dormin wants to teach her daughter that she is a big girl and uses me as the opposite example! I don’t feel hurt, only clever to have realized it and since it is expected of me, I grab the biscuit with my hand and bite in it with the whole mouth, not caring if pieces fall down. When she moves to bring us something to drink, it rings and she quickly goes to the door. She comes back with someone in tow.
"Mommy!" I shout, pieces of biscuit falling out of my mouth.
Mommy smiles and gives me an embrace.
"Did you have fun Johnny?"
"He and Calli played nice, then he napped easily", Miss Dormin says. "He also had an accident, but a bath made it all better."
"I played with a duck!" I tell mommy. There is so much to tell her, but this seems the most important.
"You did?" she asks seemingly curious and rustles my hair.
"It seems he is a little too small for a normal chair, though," Miss Dormin notices, handing me a sippy cup and her Calli an adult glass. "Would you like to keep it? Calli doesn’t need it anymore, do you Calli?"
Her daughter shakes her head.
"I’m big!", she proclaims.
"You really are," mommy notices. "Soon you will go to kindergarten, won’t you?"
Calli beams with pride, showing her teeth in a wide grin. I smile, too, as I have all this behind me. Biting in my biscuit I decide a good meal is much more important than any numbers or letters.
A while later we say goodbye and go up again, mommy carrying the high-chair which she places by the table. Miss Dormin even gives us its removable tray! After making a star on my chart I play with my fire-truck and find myself missing Calli a bit. Soon there is dinner I take while sitting in the high-chair and when she sees me eating my peas with some eagerness, mommy comments she should have thought of this earlier.
After dinner I go to the living room and start the TV. Searching the channels I don’t need long to find *King of Queens* running. It is one of my favorite shows, so quite enjoy it, at last until mommy comes in and switches it off.
"No grown-up-shows", she declares.
"It is funny!"
"Grown-up fun is much too complicated for little boys", mommy replies firmly. "There is filthy language, sad moments and even adults who really love each other. No reason to confuse your little head."
I think about it a moment and realize mommy is right. It is really too confusing.
"Good," mommy tells me, when I nod. "From now on I will tell you when it is TV-time and I will make sure you see only appropriate things."
With this she switches the channel until she reaches Nick Jr..
"Look Johnny it is *Bob the Builder*," she says. "He builds things just like you with your blocks!"
I nod, more enthusiastically this time. The brightness of the show is really a tad more appealing than the boring realism of the other. Mommy smiles and places the remote control on a cupboard far outside my reach. I don’t mind. Although I come to the conclusion that *Bob the Builder* isn’t quite as good as *King of Queens* I decide that *Jack and the Neverland Pirates* are. It is even better because it has pirates in it and songs and treasures.
Too soon mommy declares TV-time over, so I play a bit with my block, constructing buildings like Bob, but again too soon again mommy declares it is bedtime. She puts me into my night-time training-pants and I even yawn during it. It has been such an exciting day! After brushing my teeth and sitting on the potty, mommy tucks me in bed and sits down besides me.
"You were such a good little boy today Johnny," she praises me. "I have a treat for you. Close your eyes and open your mouth."
I obey, expecting a candy. Instead of sweetness, I taste something soft, filling out most of my mouth. Surprised I instinctively chew on it and when I open my eyes I realize it is a pacifier!
"You learned today that you can be a toddler even if you speak freely," she notices. "So I see no harm of you having a pacy."
I grin around it.
"Thanka mumma!" I manage to mumble between it.
Mummy gives me a smile, goes through my hair and begins telling me the story of Humpty Dumpty. Once she is done and sees I’m still awake she starts my night-lights and then places a cd-player on the desk and pushes the on-button.
"Good night Johnny."
The first song is *Twinkle Twinkle Little Star*, which is so fitting for the stars now wandering over the tapestry of my room. My lids grow too heavy to hold up and from the next I only hear the first lines.
"Rock-a-bye Baby on the treetop..."
To be continued...