A Little at A Time

Chapter 10
Some Answers

The next morning I woke up and was immediately grateful for my diaper, which I had soaked. As I stepped into the shower, my head “cleared” for a minute and I felt like my old self again. I thought back on my behavior from yesterday and realized how odd and inappropriate it had been. Although the water was steaming hot, I felt a chill thinking about it, wondering who I was and who I was becoming. After I finished my shower, I stepped out and began to towel off. I saw that Jessica had laid out my clothes for me, along with a fresh diaper. I got dressed and headed down stairs.

Ashley was watching cartoons. I joined her on the couch. Jessica brought us both bowls of cereal.

After getting Ashley off on the school bus, Jessica and I were in the car again, headed to Dr. Westgate’s office. On one level, I knew I should be anxious, and I could tell that Jessica was. But, I was feeling so glad to be spending time with Jessica that I didn’t really think about it. When we arrived at the office and told them who we were, they immediately took us into Dr. Westgate’s office.

A few minutes later, Dr. Westgate arrived, with two other women, who she introduced as her assistants. A pretty, red-headed woman in her early fifties, Dr. Westgate sat down at her desk across from us. “I’m afraid I have some difficult news. Your bloodwork confirms that you received an accidental dose of Regressive,” she explained. “What?” Jessica said, her voice cracking. Dr. Westgate continued: “It’s the flu shot you got. The pharmaceutical company that manufactured that particular flu vaccine was also performing a special project for the Department of Defense, developing a bio-chemical agent known as Regressive. For some reason, some of the vials they shipped to Wellness-Aid pharmacy contained Regressive instead of flu vaccine. Your bloodwork confirms that you received one of the shots containing Regressive.” Jessica started peppering Dr. Westgate with questions: “What does that mean? What does Regressive do? Is it permanent?” Then Jessica simply dissolved into sobs. I felt awful and started sucking my thumb and softly crying too. “We have an informational video for you to watch,” Dr. Westgate explained, “We’ll go watch it together.”

Here’s what we learned from the video. Regressive was designed to be part of the “War on Terror.” The idea was that after you had captured and interrogated a terrorism suspect, you could inject him with Regressive and return him to his native country, knowing that he’d no longer be any threat. Regressive worked on the brain and various body systems, eventually giving the person the abilities and mentality of a toddler, usually between the ages of 1 and 2. The person became bladder and bowel incontinent. His fine and gross motor skills degraded. He lost his ability to read, write, and think beyond a basic level. His interests and attitude became that of a toddler. It appeared that the person might occasionally have “clear” moments, when he would recover his mental abilities, but those were infrequent and typically didn’t last very long. They didn’t know whether a person who had received Regressive could learn skills again or whether the person would remain a toddler permanently or eventually begin maturing again. There just wasn’t enough data.

The video ended and I just sat there. I understood on some level what I had heard, although I guess I didn’t really grasp at the time that this was happening to me and what that meant. I turned to look at Jessica and noticed she was gone. The only other person in the room was one of Dr. Westgate’s assistants. “Where’s Jessica?” I asked, jumping up from my chair. “She’s meeting with one of our counselors, she’ll be right back.” The assistant replied. She could see that I was starting to get upset, so she offered “Why don’t I put some cartoons on? Then I’ll run and grab you a snack. Would that be OK?” That sounded alright. I nodded and sat down, putting my thumb in my mouth.