Don't Change MY reality

Chapter 4
Don't Change MY reality Chapter 4

---

Chapter Description: The final slice. This bit got really emotional for me. Im really very glad I was commissioned to write this. So thank you foxingtonIII. Thank you.

---

Kaitlyn woke and for a split second she recognised the fact that she felt more refreshed and relaxed than she had felt in a long time. She vaguely remembered a dream as it swam out from her memory. It gave her a warm, safe and loving feeling. Then she opened her eyes.

She was in a car, strapped into a baby’s car seat. It was odd being 18 and in a scaled up version of infant accessories. She noted that the fabric had Dora the Explorer on it again and she scowled. What was her mother’s obsession with that blasted cartoon? She didn’t like the 5 point harness pulling her diaper up more than she would usually be aware of it and exposing it to anyone who cared to look. She was still in the night time diaper she had been put in at the daycare and she poked it, relieved that she was still dry, unless of course she had been changed whilst she had been asleep.

“MOM! Kaitlyn’s awake”

Kaitlyn jumped as her sister, who was sat in a booster seat beside her, alerted her mom.

“You didn’t have to yell at...” Kaitlyn stopped talking, her mouth just fell slack. Her words: They were gone. In her mind she knew what she was saying but she had just spouted baby babble and drooled down her chin. She pulled at her tongue, as if touching it would break the spell.

“Hello?” She tested her voice but it came out as a cheerful “Buuuh” She began to shake, she was now trapped: Properly trapped. She wouldn’t be able to communicate at all. She was at the mercy of her family. She slipped off into a nightmarish daydream where she would spend the rest of her days being fed and changed and put down for naps, never amounting to anything, never having boyfriends or a house or a job. She rubbed at her shaking hands. She was practically a woman for goodness sake. She had all the right curves in all the right places and now everyone just thought of her as cute. Not sexy, not alluring. Cute. Adorable. Babyish. This was all just too cruel. Maybe she should pray to lose her mind too, being stuck aware like this would surely drive her to insanity.

“Mom? When will Kaitlyn say her first words?” Beth asked curiously as she swung her legs back and forth from her booster seat.

“Well sweetie, you started talking when you were Katie’s age, so any time from now I guess.” Beth smiled and turned her attention to Kaitlyn.

“Katie, can you say ma-ma? Can you? Can you say Bethie?” Kaitlyn looked wide eyed in horror at her situation. Her sister was trying to coax her into saying her first words, but Kaitlyn just didn’t know if she was capable. Ma-ma had to be an easy bet though and she licked her lips, steadying herself for an attempt.

“Gaaahbaaa thrrrr” She blew a spit bubble at her sister and her sister giggled as more drool dribbled down Kaitlyn’s chin. Kaitlyn looked away from Beth. She couldn’t stand humiliating herself like this. She looked out the car window. It sure was hot in the car. It must be about 3pm but it felt like the middle of summer, Kaitlyn hoped that her mom would dress her in something a bit cooler.

“Mom, Can I help blow out Kaitlyn’s birthday candles. She told me I could.”

Kaitlyn squealed in alarm. Today! Today was the day of her 18th birthday party. If she had any profanities left in her head she would have tried to utter them all at once, but now she couldn’t even say mama so she just started to cry. Her mom just spoke louder over the sound.

“I’m sure Katie would like that sweetie. I’ve got all the barbecue stuff ready to go when we get in, and everyone should be arriving pretty soon. So when we get in, your job is to keep Katie happy while I get things ready”

Kaitlyn continued to wail. She didn’t want a birthday party. She had been so looking forward to seeing her friends. But now? Now she really just wanted to hide from the world, not be the one in the spotlight.

The car pulled into the driveway and after unbuckling Beth, her mom unbuckled Kaitlyn and carried the still crying teenage baby inside the house.

“Sweetie whatever is the matter? Come on now hush hush. I do hope you’re not coming down with anything.” Her mom stroked Kaitlyn’s hair trying to calm the teenager down.

“Beth. Can you get me the thermometer and Vaseline from the bathroom please?”

The was a muffled “okay” from upstairs where Beth had gone to gather some toys to play with Kaitlyn A few moments later there was the distinctive rapid thudding as Beth ran down the stairs carrying some chewable building blocks and the things her mom had asked her to fetch.

She handed the requested items to her mom then Beth scampered over to the large playpen and chucked the toys in. Kaitlyn’s mom sat down on the sofa and laid Kaitlyn face down across her knees as if Kaitlyn was about to be spanked.

Kaitlyn suddenly realised what was about to happen and she feebly kicked her legs out as her mom tugged off Kaitlyn’s dry diaper, lubricated the thermometer and carefully inserted it into Kaitlyn’s bottom. Kaitlyn froze. Scared now that struggling would make the thermometer go deeper or break it. She quietened instantly as the shock of having her temperature taken like an infant actually made her forget to cry. She wasn’t a baby. She wasn’t. She wasn’t. She held this mental mantra in her head, trying to be someplace else entirely.

A few moments later it was gently removed and her mom studied the reading, leaving Kaitlyn exposed across her mothers lap.

“Well looks like your temperature is fine so at least we don’t have to take a trip to the...” Suddenly Kaitlyn started to wet herself and her mom jumped up holding Kaitlyn out by her armpits. She ran over to where Beth’s red potty was and hung Kaitlyn over it until Kaitlyn finished relieving herself. She had just peed all over her own mother. The hot wee still trickled down her slender teenage thighs and dripped off her ankles, causing her to feel disgusted and itchy. Fearfully she looked up expecting to see a scowl on her mother’s face but there was just a bright smile on the woman’s face, as Kaitlyn continued to drip.

“You little widdler. Who’s a wittle widdler, who is? You are. Yes you are. I should have expected that really, shouldn’t I? Silly mommy. Now Mommy has to change her skirt.” her mom rubbed noses with Kaitlyn and moved back over to the sofa, she cleaned her daughter with a few baby wipes. Then she collected the dry diaper she pulled it back on Kaitlyn.

“That’s why ikkle Katie wears diapers isn’t it. So you don’t weewee on mummy. Can you say mummy. Ma-ma. Ma-ma!”

Kaitlyn just crammed her fist into her mouth, whether it was to stop her crying some more or whether it was to stop her attempting to speak, she wasn’t sure. She was carried over to the playpen and lowered in. Beth was then picked up and lowered in too. Beth was positively beaming.

“I’m almost outta pull-ups now huh mom. I’m almost a big girl.” She was practically standing on tiptoes with pride in herself. Their mom chuckled.

“That’s right sweetie. You’ve been really good at keeping your pull-ups dry and using the potty. You are a lovely example to your baby sister. Now be good and play nice. Mommy has a lot she needs to do.” With both her children safe in the playpen their mom bustled off to do the things she needed to do.

For almost an hour, Beth played with Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn just wanted to be left alone. She would crawl to one corner of the playpen, her thickly padded bottom wiggling cutely as she tried to escape her attentive older sister, but Beth persevered and followed her no matter where she was in the playpen. Kaitlyn just wanted some peace. She wanted to be left alone, to have some personal space. “Look Katie, stack the blocks with me?” Beth said happily as she showed Kaitlyn how to do it. Kaitlyn didn’t want to play, mainly because she didn’t want to discover yet another thing she was incapable of doing. At least by not playing she could fool herself into thinking it was a simple task.

The doorbell rang, causing both girls to look up towards the hallway. Their mom suddenly appeared in a nice floral summer dress, then ran to the door. Kaitlyn couldn’t see who it was but she could hear her mother’s voice. “Come in come in. Yes, straight through to the back garden. I’ve got the barbecue going already. I’ve just got to get the little one dressed for her party and we can start.”

Her mom reappeared with two parents one holding a teenager, the other leading one by the hand. They all had brightly wrapped presents.

Kaitlyn recognised her friends James and Linda. Linda had a short summer dress on her blonde hair in bunches. The way her mother was carrying her showed that Linda was heavily diapered.

James stood by his father wearing swimming shorts and had a pair of Ben 10 sunglasses propped up on his head. James had been her boyfriend. He was a year older than her and dashing. If it wasn’t for the children’s sunglasses he’d look normal. But he was scowling with his arms folded across his chest. “Don’t wanna go to no stupid baby party.” He stomped his foot and his dad gave him a gentle cuff across the back of his head.

“I’m warning you, behave son.” His dad said sternly. Kaitlyn’s mom clasped her hands together,

“Thanks for coming. Kaitlyn’s so happy to see you” Kaitlyn’s mom gushed as she pulled Beth from the playpen and lowered her onto the carpet then collected up Kaitlyn and carried her through the kitchen and out into the back garden.

Kaitlyn could see that there had been a large paddling pool set up and a barbecue was already smoking away with food on it. She drooled a little. Real food. She looked longingly over at the burgers and sausages.

“Let’s get you dressed kiddo.” her mom cooed as she laid Kaitlyn on the grass near the paddling pool as both Beth and James ran and threw themselves into the water, squealing happily. Her mom began to pull her dress off of Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn tried to struggle but she didn’t have the co-ordination now and soon found herself just laid in the middle of the garden in just a diaper. Not A diaper. HER diaper. She poked at it miserably, realising she was now perfectly on show to everyone. Her chest exposed to her former boyfriend and her boyfriend’s father. The father was watching but he wasn’t leering at her, he was simply looking at her as if she was just an innocent baby. She tried to cover herself up but her mom suddenly started blowing raspberry bubbles onto her exposed tummy, causing Kaitlyn to squeal happily and the teenage baby squirmed, her boobs flopping to the side as she tried to roll over and crawl away.

“Uh uh! No you don’t stinky. Mommy has to get you ready for your party.” Kaitlyn was pulled back into a laying position as her mom got some suntan lotion and began massaging it all over Kaitlyn’s body. Kaitlyn squirmed, feeling embarrassed as her older sister and James continued to play in the pool. Linda was sat on her mother’s lap watching the proceedings chewing on the corner of the present that they had brought with them. Kaitlyn’s mom pulled Katie into a sitting position and put a pink sun hat on her daughter. “There, all done.”

“What?! You have got to be kidding me!” Kaitlyn yelled indignantly but she just babbled out loudly and blew a raspberry, causing her mom to mimic the raspberry right back at her and then laugh happily.

“Awwww what are you trying to say sweetie. Wasawa? Wasawa? Mommy doesn’t know what you’re saying. You like your hat don’t you sweetie. It keeps the nasty sun away.”

Kaitlyn couldn’t believe that her mom was just going to let her be out here in the garden topless. It wasn’t fair. It was degrading and just plain sick. She pointed at her chest. “That’s right sweetie. You’re Kaitlyn. Can you say Katie?”

Kaitlyn scowled and pointed more at her chest, not even attempting to humour her mom. If she could only get it across that she wanted a t-shirt on at least that would be something.

Kaitlyn’s mom looked at her for a moment, confusion furrowed her brow momentarily and then she got the hint.

“Oooh. I know what wittle Katie wants.” Kaitlyn sighed with a feeling of relief as her mom plucked her up off the grass. “Excuse me a moment. Derek could you watch the barbecue? I need to attend to this one’s demands.” She chuckled. James father nodded and he wandered over to go flip some burgers.

“I’ll join you if you don’t mind.” the mother of Linda spoke as the other parent fell into step with Kaitlyn’s mom as the two adults with their teenage babies went back into the house leaving Derek tending the barbecue and watching James and Beth play.

Kaitlyn’s mom moved into the living room and sat on the sofa. The other woman did the same.

“You know Joanne, it always amazes me how even though they can’t yet talk, they still have us jumping through hoops for them.” Kaitlyn’s mom chuckled.

Kaitlyn was confused. Her mom didn’t seem to be getting her any clothes. What was she up to? She looked over at the other woman, Joanne.

“Tell me about it. I mean, don’t take this the wrong way Caroline, but at least I have my Tim to help me out. Linda would be lost without her daddy. It’s impressive that you manage to hold down a job and to look after two young children by yourself. You’re an inspiration to us all”

The woman’s words stung Kaitlyn as she was forced to remember she had no dad. But her lamenting lasted seconds as she suddenly found her mother guiding Kaitlyn’s head away from looking at the other mother. When Kaitlyn turned her head to look at her mom, she saw that the blouse of her floral dress had been unbuttoned and one large exposed breast, complete with leaking nipple, was right in Kaitlyn’s face.

“There you go sweetie, tuck in.” Kaitlyn’s mom pushed Kaitlyn’s face into her boob and suddenly with utter disbelief Kaitlyn found herself suckling as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do. “There we go. There.” Kaitlyn’s mother quietly cooed and slowly rocked as Kaitlyn nursed. Kaitlyn’s eyes were wide. Disbelieving. Disturbed. Yet still she was unable to resist. Still she suckled down her mothers breast milk. The two adults continued to talk, although in hushed murmurs as both Linda and Kaitlyn suckled. Soon Kaitlyn was full and, as she pulled herself from her mom’s teat she was settled over her mom’s shoulder and her back was patted until she gave out a large belch. Thankfully, this time at least she didn’t spit up anything.

She was carried back out into the garden where plates of food had been dished out by Derek. The two older kids were sat cross-legged with plates in their laps comparing sizes of potato chips. Kaitlyn looked at the food as her sister wolfed some down. She was so full of milk now though that thought of food was not her priority. She was still topless and that bothered her, but it seemed there wasn’t anything she could do about it. She sat on her mother’s lap as her mother ate a burger and a hot dog with one hand. The other one was wrapped tightly around Kaitlyn to stop her falling off of her lap. Once food was finished the presents came out.

Kaitlyn wasn’t interested. It would only be boring baby stuff. No chance of the MP3 player or new make-up that she had actually asked for. Kaitlyn’s mom guided the teenager’s hands, helping the now incapable girl, unwrap the gifts.

“Oooh James and Derek, thank you for the new baby monitor.” Kaitlyn’s mom sounded happy.

“And look Katie, a pair of new onesies, with duckies on. You like duckies don’t you. Duckies go quack quuaaaaaack!” Kaitlyn’s mom tickled Kaitlyn’s tummy, causing the girl to giggle and blush at having her nakedness so easily taken advantage of. Still, as much as she hated the diapers at least they kept her from being completely exposed. She had seen pictures of herself when she had really been a toddler, toddling around the garden with no clothes on at all so she could count her blessings this time, regardless of how small those blessings actually were.

“This one is from your sister” Her mom said as she pulled open the wrapping and showed Kaitlyn a new teething ring she gave it to Kaitlyn who actually took it and began to chew on it, simply because it did relieve her sore teeth and it gave her something to concentrate on.

The afternoon dragged, much more than she was expecting, but after a whole afternoon of playing in the garden, it was time for James and Linda to go home and be taken to bed. Kaitlyn, despite not wanting to feel tired, felt absolutely shattered. She was struggling to keep her eyes open as her mom carried her upstairs and into the bathroom. She settled Kaitlyn down on the floor as she ran a lukewarm and fairly shallow bath with bubbles.

“BETH! BATHTIME!” her mom yelled, causing Beth to scamper into the bathroom and start tugging off her own clothes happily compliant.

Standing in just a pair of oversized huggies pull-ups she pointed down at the cartoon characters that were still intact on her crotch.

“Look mommy, another whole day dry. I really am big aren’t I?” The teenage toddler fished for compliments. Her mom just chuckled and ruffled Beth’s hair.

“You sure are Sweetie. And thank you for all your help today. Tomorrow, how about we get you some ice-cream as a special treat?” Beth danced from foot to foot excitedly happy. She kicked off her pull-ups and allowed her mom to pick her up and place her in the bath. Then her mom turned to Kaitlyn and stripped her of her hat and peeled off the now very sodden diaper. Kaitlyn hadn’t even realised she was wet. Picking the baby teenager up, she put her in the bath with Beth.

Kaitlyn didn’t struggle. She didn’t do anything. She just let her mom wash her hair. She was mentally exhausted from having humiliating experience after humiliating experience that she could barely muster up a whimper. She had cried herself into oblivion and now she just felt numb, stuck as an unintelligible infant. Was this permanent? Would she ever grow up again? She felt empty, all her hopes and dreams dashed as her mom delved into every last crack of her body with a soapy sponge cooing baby babble at her. Kaitlyn hated having her mind stuck in a body that was too weak and incapable of performing even the most basic of tasks.

Soon she was plucked from the bath and towel dried, then liberally sprinkled with talc, which Kaitlyn had to admit did smell soft and sweet and not like the perfumes and deodorants she was used to. Then she was effortlessly bundled into a fresh thick night time disposable diaper and a pink footed sleeper with fluffy sheep on it. The sleeper had poppers in the leg area so that she could be easily changed. Kaitlyn felt small and helpless and her eyes looked up at her mom’s pleading with her mentally to see beyond everything that was going on and to recognise that there was actually a young adult trapped in this teenage baby body.

Their gaze locked and the mom smiled tenderly. Stroking Kaitlyn’s cheek. “You’re positively adorable. Kaitlyn. I see your father in you more and more every day. He would have loved you to pieces.” Kaitlyn felt her heart growing heavy. Her mom never talked about her father. Never. She was plucked from the changing table and soon lowered into her cot. Her room of course had been transformed from the toddler room she had left it as this morning, to a full blown nursery in varying pastel shades of green. The crib was a white oak variety and much more ornate than the ones at the day-care.

She could see that her mom had tears in her eyes and Kaitlyn reached up, trying to wipe the tears away. “Don’t cry mom?” Kaitlyn said forgetting that she couldn’t talk, but serendipity shined on her when her baby babble produced two distinct syllables, Mama.

Her mother froze above the cot, “Did you say ma-ma?” Had that been a fluke? “Can you say ma-ma sweetie?” The tears were still visible in her eyes. Kaitlyn gulped. She wanted to communicate but more importantly she wanted to cheer up her mom. She prayed that she could repeat the noises. She took a deep breath. How hard could it be?

“mAmAMAMAMAAMA” She said as she was whisked out of the cot and into her mother’s arms. Her mother hugged her ferociously. Tears that had, moments previously been of sadness, miraculously transformed into tears of joy. She cried into Kaitlyn’s newly washed hair, breathing in that baby fresh smell. They stayed there, mother and teenage child for the longest of times. It was a tender moment, a special moment.

Kaitlyn felt many mixed emotions. She had always said her mom coddled her too much as a teen, but in retrospect, her mom was just a woman doing a difficult yet wonderful job of raising kids by herself. And her sister was always on her case about needing to keep up with studies and to not be out late, but Kaitlyn now saw that Beth was more of a second mother than a sister. Beth had filled the role where her father should have been. As a teen, Kaitlyn had always thought of Beth as their mother’s favourite, but she now saw that it was because the two of them needed one another.

Soon she found herself being lowered back into the cot and a mobile with little toy sheep on it, revolved around her head. She felt so drowsy that her mom had barely made it out of the nursery before she was sound asleep.

The next morning, as Kaitlyn woke she floated in a sea of comfort. She felt loved and cherished and she seemed to be able to smell old spice, an aftershave her dad wore. The way he smelt was one of her strongest memories of him. As she woke more fully, the smell distorted and twisted to smell really rather pungent. She knew without doubt that she had completely messed herself in her sleep. She looked up at the sheep mobile as sunlight streamed through the curtains. It hadn’t been a dream. She was still stuck like this and she had no idea how to fix it or if it was even fixable. She squirmed on her back, already aware that the smell was coming from her. She began to whimper, not wanting to lay in her own mess, but unable to do anything about it. No one came as she whimpered. She began to fuss a little louder. Not intentionally, but that’s just the way things panned out. Soon she was red in the face and crying loudly. Her mom stumbled into the room rubbing her eyes, still in her bathrobe, and looking dishevelled.

“Ooh sweetie, someone’s done a big stinkie in their diapee hasn’t she?” Her mom caught sight of the time on the nursery wall clock and all traces of tiredness vanished.

“Oh no. I slept in! BETH!” She shouted out loud enough for her to be heard around the house. Beth came running, already dressed in a pair of shorts and t-shirt.

“Oh. You’re already ready?” Kaitlyn’s mom was surprised at Beth. “Beth you should have woken me up. Kaitlyn will never be ready in time for the daycare crocodile now.”

“Sorry mommy. You just looked super tired. I wanted to help, but Kaitlyn was so smelly and still sleepy so I didn’t wake her up either. I...didn’t mean to let you down.” Beth’s eyes were shiny as if she were about to cry and her mom let out a big sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Okay sweetie, you go get your shoes on and get ready for the crocodile.” Beth scampered from the room, not needing to be told twice. Kaitlyn was lifted out of the cot.

“You really did a load in your diaper today huh. You reek, you little stinker.” She sighed as she popped Kaitlyn down on the changing table and went through the process of cleaning her teenage daughter up: a pair of pink overalls with a seaside theme embroidered on the front pocket, and poppers in the legs for easy access changing. With her hair tied into two cute pigtails, Kaitlyn was dressed for the day. Kaitlyn hadn’t struggled the whole time. What was the point? This was her life now. She still felt empty from that realisation. Still felt at a loss with what to do with herself. Her mom had picked up a cordless phone in the nursery and was dialling a number.

“Hi. Donna. Could you do me a huge favour? You’re taking Molly to Day-care aren’t you? Great! Could you swing by and pick up Katie too. Uhuh. Yes. Yes. No. Great, thanks soo much I owe you big time. Yeah, I guess I need to get to bed earlier. I know. Great, see you in ten minutes. Bye.” She hung up the phone and breathed a sigh of relief. It was all going to be okay.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and Kaitlyn was quickly gathered up and her mom ran down the stairs.

“Beth, the crocodile is here!” she yelled as she flung open the door and smiled at the day-care worker on the doorstep as Beth ran past.

“Wait sweetie.” Beth paused and looked up at her mom. As her mom bent down and gave her a kiss on the top of her forehead. “Be a good girl and have fun at daycare okay?”

Beth nodded and hugged her mom and then kissed Kaitlyn on the cheek.

“I will mom. Promise.” She said as she ran out onto the front porch and the crocodile of children went off to daycare.

The house was silent for a few seconds, then Kaitlyn’s mom turned and walked back into the kitchen. “Just enough time to get you some breakfast young lady before it’s your turn out to go to day-care.” Kaitlyn was threaded into a high chair and a large bib was tied around her neck.

“Don’t want to get your clothes all messy do we?” Her mother cooed as Kaitlyn just sat there. She didn’t want this for the rest of her life. She had been half expecting to have her mind melted to mush by now, everything else had regressed to a point of sheer infancy. It seemed cruel that her adult memories and dreams had been left intact. “Someone is awfully quiet this morning. Are you still sleepy sweetie?”

Kaitlyn huffed.

“There’s not much point in talking is there.” She said. Her sentence getting faster as she realised with sheer elation that all of a sudden she had words again.

“I can talk? I CAN TALK!!” She threw her arms up into the air in victory, her heart hammering in her chest. For the first time since this whole ordeal she felt positive. Perhaps everything that had happened to her was now slowly being reversed. In a couple of days she could be back to normal. By the end of today she should at least be back to training pants status, if the reversal happened as quickly as the initial change. Suddenly she had a fresh wave of hope and life didn’t seem quite so cruel. Her mom was chuckling.

“Of course you can talk sweetie. You are a silly little thing.” Kaitlyn didn’t understand what had changed or why. She didn’t care, she could communicate again and that was all that currently mattered. Her mom started feeding her some oatmeal and Kaitlyn gulped it down with renewed energy and happiness. She should be able to walk within a couple of hours. Everything was going to be okay. The food was finished and she happily let her mom clean her oatmeal splattered face. Then she looked at her mom, seriously.

“Mom?” Her mom looked up from wiping the high chair tray. “Mom. I love you, you know. I don’t say that a lot and, well I’m really grateful for everything you’ve ever done for me. Even when I don’t show it. You’re a great mom.”

Her mom just stared at her baby teenager. It wasn’t like Kaitlyn to be so open with her emotions, and Kaitlyn very rarely said she loved... anything really. So this little speech was a bit out of the blue. “Oh Kaitlyn...” There came a knock at the door and her mom stood to answer it.

“That’ll be Donna come to collect you. We’ll talk later tonight okay.” Her mom lifted Kaitlyn out of the high chair and kissed her daughter’s cheek then removed her bib. Kaitlyn was carried to the front door. Her mom opened the door and smiled. “Donna! Thanks ever so much for doing this for me. I really messed up by oversleeping.”

“Oh it’s really no trouble. I was taking Molly to day-care anyway and your house is on the way. Come here little one!” Donna said as she lifted Kaitlyn from her mother. “Say buh bye to mommy. You and Molly are off to day-care”

Her mom waved from the doorway as Kaitlyn was buckled into a car seat of Donna’s car, right next to Molly, the brown haired girl with the device. Kaitlyn positively beamed with happiness. Today was going much much better than yesterday had. The car took off and Kaitlyn seized the opportunity.

“Molly. That device you have. It alters reality doesn’t it? You’ve done this to everyone.” Kaitlyn whispered in a hushed way so that Molly’s mom wouldn’t hear. Molly looked at Kaitlyn and opened her mouth, then blew a rather wet raspberry at Kaitlyn causing the Kaitlyn to flinch as spittle flecked her face and molly laughed “Eeeewww. Stop messing around. This is serious.”

Molly just babbled as she chewed on her own fist. Something wasn’t right here. The teenage girl didn’t look like she was acting. She had a vacant happy expression. Her mind just wasn’t there.

“Errr...Molly’s Mom. What’s wrong with Molly?” Kaitlyn asked nervously. Molly’s mom didn’t take her eyes off of the road.

“Nothing’s wrong with Molly. Unless she’s leaked again. Those store brand disposable diapers are just useless I tell you. The tabs aren’t even that sticky” Kaitlyn shrank back down into her car seat. That was a bit of a letdown. She had been trying so hard to talk to Molly and now that she finally had her cornered, the girl couldn’t string a coherent sentence together. Suddenly something caught her eye. On the dashboard of the car. Kaitlyn almost wet herself in excitement. The device! Right there, Plain as day.

“Mrs Molly’s mom, Mrs Molly’s mom. Err...what’s that on the dashboard.”

“Ooh that. It’s something Molly brought back from day-care yesterday. I originally threw it away but then I thought maybe it was something that belonged to one of the workers, so I’ve decided to bring it in just in case anyone is missing it. I don’t know how Molly even got hold of it.”

“It’s mine.” Kaitlyn quickly chipped in. Molly’s mom laughed.

“It most certainly is not. It doesn’t look like any kind of toy a baby girl like you should be having.”

Kaitlyn thought quickly.

“It’s my daddy’s. My mom kept it, cause it was his before he died. I took it to day-care with me. My mom doesn’t know I have it. She will be really upset if she finds it missing.” The driver’s seat was silent for a moment. Kaitlyn could hardly hear, the adrenaline was pumping so hard in her head. Molly’s mom had to believe a story like that surely.

“If that’s the case< I will give it to your mom when I get back from dropping you two off at day-care.” Kaitlyn shook her head frustrated, that wouldn’t work. Kaitlyn’s mom would know it hadn’t been her father’s voice recorder. She tried one last tactic.

“Can ...Can I hold it just for a second. It’s kinda like a security blankee of mine, and I’ve been really worried about it since losing it.” Again there was an excruciatingly long wait, and with a leap of her heart Kaitlyn watched the woman reach over to the dashboard and throw the voice recorder round the back to where Kaitlyn sat. She grabbed at the little machine, her fingers trembling. She had done it. She just hoped that her theory was correct in assuming that this little machine was the cause of all her worries. She held onto it tightly. She could go back now. She could be happy again. How did it work? She looked at it. It just had a red button. And a little grid that she guessed was where the microphone picked up your voice.

The car pulled to a halt in the day-care car park. It was now or never. Kaitlyn closed her eyes. Pressed the button and spoke into the device. “I want to be happy again.” Kaitlyn’s eyes snapped open as something odd happened around her. The air seemed to grow heavy, like it had become denser. Her vision swam and she felt like she was going to hurl. But as fast as the sensations had begun, they stopped. Kaitlyn looked around. She was still strapped into the five point harness car seat; Molly was still blowing spit bubbles. Had she not done it right? Had her theory been flawed somehow? But then that wouldn’t account for the strange experience she had just witnessed. She looked at the voice recorder as it was suddenly without warning plucked from her grasp.

“Let me take that sweetie. I’ll give it back to your mommy when I get back.” Molly’s mom unbuckled Kaitlyn’s car seat and Kaitlyn threw herself at the grown woman desperately trying to get hold of the device again.

“No. I need it, PEESE!” Kaitlyn hadn’t noticed her new found lisp in her agitation to get the device back. Molly’s mom was so shocked by the outburst that she only just managed to catch the flailing Kaitlyn. Unfortunately dropping the device where it smashed on impact with the parking lot tarmac. Molly was wailing at the sudden unexpected activity and Kaitlyn joined her in crying as she looked at the shattered voice recorder. That was it, game over. GAME. OVER.

“My goodness Katie, whatever came over you?” Molly’s mom sounded stern and Kaitlyn just bawled. The mother’s expression softened, realising the child’s father’s Dictaphone was now broken. “It’s okay, we can get you another one. I won’t tell your mom,” Molly’s mother said soothingly, trying to reassure the inconsolable Kaitlyn. Molly’s mom unbuckled Molly and carried the two screaming teenagers inside the day-care.

She carried them both over to a playpen and put them down. Molly crawled away but Kaitlyn simply sat there sniffling. The blasted thing hadn’t worked. Her one possible shot. Now she would just have to wait and hope that her regression undid itself over the course of the day. If it didn’t, well, she’d be screwed. Still at least she could talk again. She wondered if she could walk yet. She experimentally pulled herself up but she could tell that her legs were too weak to hold her so she just flopped down and idly started playing with some blocks, bashing them off the bars of the playpen. It was actually quite good fun and she found herself enjoying the little game she had made for herself. Once she had her feet and balance back, this toddler thing would be more bearable.

The day passed by quicker than the previous one, full of diaper changes, bottle feeds, naps and playtime. She was even read a rather enjoyable story called “Beegu”, which was about a little lost alien who had lost her parents.

Soon kids were being picked up from the day-care, and Kaitlyn felt frustrated. Throughout the entire day she had tested her legs and throughout the day, they had consistently failed her. She hadn’t gotten her balance back and she most certainly had not regained any of her potty training. But why had her voice come back? Although her voice now had toddler mannerisms and a lisp to boot, making her sound much younger. Still the fact that she could string a sentence together was still a small mercy she guessed. But now she was still back to square one.

“There you are.” A man spoke and Kaitlyn swivelled her head around and instantly fell backwards onto her back, winded not by the small fall but by the shock. She didn’t have many memories of her father, but she would recognise his face anywhere. She burst into tears as her daddy plucked her from the ground and cradled her close to his chest. Instantly she was surrounded by his distinctive aroma: that mixed smell of male sweat and old spice aftershave. A smell she thought she would never smell again. She clung to him, not daring to believe it was him, that he was here. That he was alive.

“Aww pipsqueak, wassamatta?” He used his affectionate name for her and she tingled and sobbed louder, the joy was almost overwhelming as she buried her head into his chest.

This was it. This was what that voice recorder had done. She knew it with every ounce of her heart. And her heart swelled with pure untainted happiness. He would be here, with her, with mom, with Beth. He would be there for her. He would teach her the alphabet and read her stories. He would come to school for parents day and listen to how well she was doing, and he would be there to support her through her childhood. This was what she wanted. This was what she had missed her entire life and dreamed of on countless nights. Mom and Beth would never realise he had even been missing.

Suddenly the bitterness of being in this predicament seemed to vanish. The bitterness of never having a father to be there to wipe away her tears and reassure her that things would be okay was now gone. Her life had changed completely and she could happily trade off the bad stuff, like the diapers and relearning everything if it meant he was going to be there to help.

“Are you cranky today Pipsqueak? I know what always cheers you up.” Her daddy lifted her from his chest and plopped her on his shoulders. She rubbed at her eyes trying to dry her happy tears. She was so tall up here on her father’s shoulders. Her heart felt like singing.

“Daddy?” She whispered into his ear.

“Yes pipsqueak?” He asked softly, she couldn’t see his face, but she knew he had that wonderful sparkle in his eyes.

“Don’t ever leave okay.”

Her daddy chuckled. “Oh Katie, Sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere, ever.”

And together the two of them left the day-care. Ready to begin their new lives together, in one big complete family.

 

---