The Sanctity of Knowledge

Chapter 17
Chapter 17

The next morning, Alexa awoke to the sounds of Kelly and Metis conversing. 

“It’s working!  She looks younger.  I’d say maybe two years old?” Kelly observed.

“Don’t ask me, midwife.  You’re the expert on human babies!” Metis retorted. 

Alexa opened her eyes and looked up at the two women.  “Me ‘smaw-were?” she asked, yawning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. 

“I think so” Kelly replied.  “Stand up, honey?”

Alexa did so and almost immediately felt her soaked overnight diaper sliding past her hips. Something had definitely changed.

“Hmm, you look like you’re about two years old, so I think it’s time for Pampers Size 4” Kelly announced, picking up Alexa from the crib and carrying her to the nursery’s changing table.  She removed Alexa’s onesie pajamas and removed the loose overnight diaper.

Alexa, still groggy from sleep, looked down at her naked body.  It didn’t look or feel terribly different from when she had gone to bed, but she did notice a little extra baby fat that hadn’t been there before.  She held her fingers up to her face, which appeared to be slightly pudgier.  Her belly, which had been relatively flat at three years old now protruded slightly. 

Kelly returned, holding a clean diaper.  She set it on the changing table, wiped Alexa clean and then opened the diaper, sliding it under Alexa’s bottom and powdering her.  After taping the diaper shut, she put Alexa on the floor. 

To her relief, Alexa found that she could still walk just as easily as before.  She made her way around the nursery, testing to see just how much balance and muscle control she still had.  To her, it felt no different than walking as a three-year-old, although she did notice her gait was slightly wider.

“How are you feeling, Alexa?” Metis asked. 

“Me feel ok” Alexa replied.  “But me hungwy….” Alexa sheepishly offered, embarrassed by how limited her vocabulary had once again become.

“Well, then.  Let’s get some nourishment in that little belly of yours, Alexa!” she offered, removing her robes and sitting down on nursing chair.

“I’ll make her some solid foods in the kitchen while the two of you do your thing” Kelly announced as she exited the nursery.

Alexa walked over to the nursing chair, laid across Metis’s lap and began to suckle.

“You know, I never got to experience this, Alexa” Metis explained in a voice tinged with regret.  “I never even had the chance to breastfeed Athena.  It’s nice to finally be able to do this……”

Alexa silently suckled, transfixed by Metis’s soothing voice.  Her milk was somehow richer than Athena’s.  It tasted similar, but something about Metis’s tasted more “natural,” more “pure.”

“I’m very grateful for you, Alexa” Metis continued.  “I never thought a mortal would be strong enough to assist me.  It turns out you’re tougher and braver than most of the gods on Olympus.  I’d be proud to have you as a daughter….”

This caused Alexa to stop suckling momentarily.  Metis’s comment seemed to salve a deep wound that she had forgotten that she had.  After all, she never knew her real mother.  She withdrew her mouth from Metis’s breast, staring up at her. 

“Reawwy?” she said shyly.

Metis smiled, then kissed the top of Alexa’s head.  “Yes, really.  Actually, if this works, you will be my daughter.  At least by the laws of Olympus……”  Alexa’s eyes widened.  She hadn’t even considered that being rebirthed would technically make Metis her mother.  Alexa smiled up at her, then gazed towards her other breast.  After a few more minutes, Alexa’s second feeding was done.  This time, Metis rocked Alexa in her arms for a bit before taking her into the kitchen and seating her in her highchair. 

Solid foods were laid out for Alexa’s breakfast, which included strawberries, blueberries and a piece of toasted wholegrain bread.  Metis walked over to the table, sitting beside the toddler and watching her eat her breakfast.  Alexa, clad in nothing but her diaper and a bib, picked at her berries and drank from her sippy cup. 

“Metis, I can watch her if you need to rest….” Kelly offered, taking her coffee and sitting down at the kitchen table.  “No, no.  It’s ok” Metis said, wetting her thumb with her mouth and wiping a smudge of berry from Alexa’s cheek.  “I didn’t realize how enjoyable these simple pleasures would be….” 

Kelly smiled.  “I understand.  Metis, can I ask you something?” 

Metis continued to stare at Alexa, watching as she moved on to the slice of toast.  “Of course,” she replied.

“Do you…..still love Athena?  If you’re able to stop her, will you forgive her?”

Metis turned to stare at her.

“What do you think I should do, midwife?” Metis asked.  Kelly was taken aback by the turnabout.  The hairs on her arms stood at attention.

“I….I think that if she wants forgiveness, you should give it to her.  I know what she did to you was wrong. Well, more than wrong but…..she’s still your daughter, you know?” 

Metis remained icy silent.

Kelly realized she had approached a touchy subject about as close as she dared.  “What I’m saying is that I hope that you can make things right” she concluded, unsure of what else to say.

“You’re a wise woman, midwife” Metis replied, her posture loosening and becoming more relaxed.    

“Alexa chooses her friends wisely.  If you choose to go down the path of motherhood, I think you’ll be quite good at it.  What do you think, Alexa?”

“Kewwy good Mommy” Alexa replied, causing the two women to giggle at the adorable endorsement of confidence.

After breakfast, Alexa was placed in her playpen in the living room while Metis returned to the master bedroom to rest.  Kelly placed a few toys inside the playpen, put on cartoons, then sat down on the couch to read a book.  About thirty minutes later, Alexa’s stomach began to audibly gurgle.

“It’s ok, honey.  Just let it out and I’ll change your diaper as soon as you’re done” Kelly reassured. 

Alexa nodded her head, entered a half squat and voided her bowels into her diaper.  Kelly watched as the rear of Alexa’s diaper slowly tented outward while the front of her diaper began to turn a dull yellow.  Alexa stared ahead, not wanting to make eye contact with Kelly as the stench of her poop began to waft around her.  In the middle of her bowel movement, she suddenly regained a flash of her adult vocabulary and sensibilities.

“God, this is so fucking embarrassing” Alexa muttered as she let out a final grunt and finished doing her business. 

Kelly let out a chuckle, then began to laugh. 

“Why Kewwy waff?” Alexa asked with a look of genuine offense, then realized what had just happened.

Kelly managed to arrest her laughter for a moment.  “It’s just that…….Well, I’ve never heard a toddler drop an f-bomb while they were in the middle of pooping their Pampers……guess that curse hasn’t fully set back in, yet!” she explained, rolling back into laughter.  A smirk broke out across Alexa’s face and soon she was laughing along with the bemused midwife. 

“Ok, fun’s over” Kelly announced.  Let’s get you out of that dirty diaper, Alexa!”

After laying Alexa down on the changing table, Kelly removed the tapes to her soiled diaper.  After pulling the front of Alexa’s diaper down between her legs, she realized that wiping alone probably wouldn’t ensure a completely clean front and bottom.  Alexa’s bowel movement was quite messy, due in no small part to the mixture of solid food and breastmilk that she had been consuming.

“You know what?  I’m going to give you a bath.  There’s no way I can get you clean with just wipes.  The last thing you need is an infection, or diaper rash…” 

Alexa nodded her head in agreement.  After doing the best she could with the baby wipes, Kelly deposited Alexa’s dirty, wet Pamper in the diaper pail and then carried her to the bathroom.  She sat Alexa on top of a towel on the floor as she filled the tub.  After a few minutes, Alexa was sitting in a few inches of warm water while Kelly prepared to wash her. 

Alexa’s newly-regressed mind enjoyed the attention she was getting from Kelly.  Being changed out of a very messy diaper and cleaned in the tub, with all of its pleasant smells and sensations caused her to feel supremely safe and cared for.  Alexa began to enter a state of deep relaxation, causing her to go almost limp in Kelly’s arms.  After a few more minutes of washing, Alexa was taken out of the tub, dried off and taken back to the nursery, wrapped in a towel. 

Kelly put Alexa in a clean diaper and, noticing that she was shivering a bit, dressed her in a long-sleeved diaper shirt.  She placed Alexa on the ground and with that, Alexa sped off back to the living room, eager to play with her toys and watch cartoons once more. 

The rest of the day was uneventful.  Metis continued to rest and Kelly tended to Alexa by feeding her and changing her diapers.  Meanwhile, the curse had now fully rooted itself back into her mind, body and soul.  As before, she had a sense of what was happening around her, along with her adult memories but all was clouded by the curse’s insidious fog.  By the end of the day, Alexa had become noticeably more infantile. 

Now even younger than before, Alexa found herself doing things that were increasingly babyish.  At two years old, she found her threshold for stimulation had shortened.  There had been a few times when her toys had simply overwhelmed her, causing her to enter into a few “terrible twos” moments.  Fortunately, Kelly was a pro at dealing with those so these were thankfully short-lived.  She also grew increasingly frustrated with her inability to express herself, which also led to mini-tantrums that threatened to burst the damn before Kelly managed to plug it. 

Worse, she realized that she was becoming increasingly impatient during diaper changes.  She squirmed and fussed when Kelly attempted to change her diaper on the living room floor.  Alexa strained to watch the bright, colorful characters on the TV screen while Kelly changed her.  Even though Kelly was a diaper changing pro, Alexa was unimpressed with her speed and after a few seconds wondered why she wasn’t in a clean diaper, back in her playpen and surrounded by her toys. 

That night, Alexa listened to Kelly as she read her a bedtime story as Metis sat on the nursing chair, watching.  Alexa clutched her stuffed animal and sucked on the pacifier that was clipped to her diaper shirt.  She listened while lying on her back, her legs slightly bowed apart by the thick Pampers Overnight diaper that Kelly had put her in before bed. 

The next morning, Metis awoke from her slumber and immediately shot up to see what had become of Alexa overnight.  She peered into the crib and was shocked to see that Alexa was now barely a year old.  After calling for Kelly to come to the nursery, the two women observed the changes that the little girl had undergone during the evening. 

Unlike the changes in her appearance from three to two years old, these were much more pronounced.  Her diaper was once again obviously too large for her now.  The diaper shirt she had gone to sleep in looked noticeably loose.  It was the physical changes that were the most marked, though.

She had gained a noticeable amount of baby fat, causing her face to look rounder.  Her long, brunette hair had thinned and was now well above her shoulders.  Her mouth, which was agape as she slept, only contained six teeth.  Kelly also estimated that she was at least half a foot shorter than she had been at two years old. 

Alexa then began to stir, whimpering softly and then slowly opening her eyes.  As her vision came into focus, she was stunned by what she saw.  The first thing she noticed was that her crib now looked positively huge.  Whereas the bars had merely been just high enough to keep her from getting out, they now looked positively insurmountable.  In fact, the entire nursery looked as if it had doubled in size.

She then looked down at her body and realized that she had become even smaller.  It was then that she smelled the familiar ammonia-like aroma of dried pee.  Suddenly, an instinct overcame her that she simply could not control.  She was uncomfortable.  She wanted to not be uncomfortable.  Rather than reach up for Kelly or Metis, she simply began to cry. 

Kelly immediately lowered the bars to the crib as Alexa continued to wail.  She picked Alexa up and then handed her to Metis, who gently bounced the crying infant to no avail.  A pacifier was slipped into Alexa’s mouth, which eventually soothed her to the point that her crying was reduced to soft mewling. 

“Here, I’ll change her diaper” Kelly offered, taking her from Metis and laying her on the changing table.

Meanwhile, Alexa struggled to express why she was unhappy, why she was crying but the words simply weren’t there for her.  She realized that she was effectively unable to verbally communicate.  Even worse, she was unable to say the few words she still knew.  She tried to say “Kelly” but all she could muster was “kay kay.”

“Shhh, I know honey, I know.  I’m going to clean you up, ok?” Kelly assured as she began to wipe Alexa’s naked front and rear with a baby wipe.  She then took out a Pampers Size 3 diaper, slid it under Alexa’s now-clean bottom, powdered her and taped it shut. 

Metis sat in the nursing chair and watched as Kelly slid a diaper shirt onto Alexa and then placed her on the floor of the nursery.

As Alexa stood on the floor, she realized that her balance was considerably worse than it was the day before.  As a two-year-old, standing and walking was done without having to concentrate.  Now, however, her gait was much wider than before and each step felt as if she was teetering on a tightrope.  She took a step forward, then another.  Then another.  Then one more and then…….

Alexa fell backwards onto her bottom.  She stood up again, legs wobbly and began to walk towards the Metis once more.  This time, she managed to make it to the woman before having to stop to regain her balance. Before long, Alexa was undergoing her third feeding and Kelly was in the kitchen preparing her breakfast.

After her feeding, Alexa attempted to exit the nursery on her own power, but managed to fall onto her bottom again.  Frustrated at her newfound lack of mobility, she began to cry.  Metis knelt down beside her, put her pacifier back in her mouth and encouraged Alexa to try and walk again.  Alexa, still teary eyed, sat up on her knees, then put her hands on the floor in front of her.  Now in the all-fours position, she began to crawl towards the kitchen.  Right away, she realized that crawling just seemed so much faster and easier for her.  Metis followed behind as Alexa crawled her way towards her highchair.  Forgetting that Metis was behind her, she looked around the kitchen and began to feel anxious when she couldn’t find her.  Kelly realized that, at one year of age, Alexa was likely experiencing separation anxiety. 

“Shhh, it’s ok honey. Metis is right there, Alexa!  See?” she said, pointing behind her.  Alexa turned around, saw Metis, smiled and then crawled towards the woman.  She then stood up, using Metis’s leg as leverage. 

Metis reached down and picked up the one-year-old girl, kissing her cheek. 

“You see, little one?  I didn’t go anywhere.  Who’s my brave little warrior?  Hmmmm?” Metis gently teased.  Alexa kicked her legs in excitement at Metis’s praise, giggling as the Nymph tickled her belly, which was now noticeably distended. 

Metis then placed the infant in her highchair and sat down at the table as Kelly put Alexa’s breakfast tray in front of her.  Kelly had prepared a small bowl of oatmeal with halved grapes for the child.  Kelly handed her a baby spoon and Alexa was soon digging into the soft oatmeal.

As Alexa sat in her highchair, she felt as if she was a mile off of the ground.  The only thing keeping her from crying in fear was the presence of Metis next to her.  She was beginning to view Metis as her mother and now, the thought of her walking away from her, even for a second, was enough to cause her heart to race.  At one point, Metis sat up to adjust her robes, prompting Alexa to immediately begin to whine. 

“Why is she fussing?” Metis asked Kelly. 

“Oh, she’s probably getting separation anxiety” Kelly explained.  It’s common in women….ahem, little girls her age.”

Metis raised an eyebrow.  “Oh?  You mean she’ll be upset if she thinks I’m going away?”

“Yup.  I know you need your rest, but you might want to be a bit more, well, visible today” Kelly advised.  “Otherwise, she’ll spend most of her day crying and you won’t get much rest anyway…”

Metis nodded her head, then turned to Alexa and tickled her cheek with her finger.  “I think I can agree to that, then!” she teased, causing Alexa to giggle. 

Kelly smiled at the innocent, wholesome interaction.  Metis seemed to genuinely enjoy babying Alexa.  It seemed that the smaller Alexa became, the more uninhibited and nurturing Metis was with her.

Metis began to encourage Alexa to finish her breakfast, cooing at her and occasionally stroking her soft, thin hair.  While Alexa enjoyed her oatmeal, she seemed to want nothing to do with the halved grapes.

“Do you think she’s full?” Metis asked.

“Could be” Kelly responded.  “It’s also just as likely that she was a picky eater as a one-year-old.  Most babies are at that age.  Maybe you can convince her to try?” Kelly suggested.

“How?” Metis asked, befuddled.

“Well, maybe if she sees her favorite person eating them……” Kelly hinted.

Metis nodded in understanding, then took a grape, showing it to Alexa.  “Do you see, Alexa?  Mommy….I mean……” she stopped, looking at Kelly uncertainly.

“Go ahead.  I don’t think Alexa will mind you calling yourself that now…..”

Metis straightened in her chair, smiling.  “As I was saying, Mommy likes grapes!” she exclaimed, theatrically putting one in her mouth and chewing it. 

Alexa smiled, picked up a grape, and did the same.  “Good job, Alexa!” Metis cheered.  “Go ahead, one more for Mommy!”  Alexa did as she was told and once again received Metis’s praise.

When Alexa was finally done with breakfast, Metis carried her to the playpen and deposited her inside.  Alexa began to fuss, but when Metis sat down on the couch in front of her, Alexa stopped.  With Metis now clearly within her field of view, she felt safe enough to begin to play with her toys.

Metis watched as Alexa played with her toy blocks, stacking them one on top of the other.  While she could easily stack two blocks, she lacked the fine motor skills to go any higher.  She involved herself with Alexa’s play, occasionally encouraging her to show her the toy she was currently engrossed with.  Alexa found it amusing to show Metis her toys and simply adored the praise she received for being a “good girl” and listening to her instructions. 

As Alexa crawled to the pile of toys in the corner of the playpen, she paused for a few seconds, grunted and then proceeded to pick up a new toy.  Alexa crawled back towards the blocks, sat down and used her new toy to knock down one of the two-story block towers she had made. 

As she reached for a nearby baby book, she smelled something familiar.  The odor was strong, no doubt but she wasn’t sure it was necessarily a bad smell.  Unsure as to what caused the smell or where it was coming from, Alexa proceeded to turn the pages of her baby book.  She then realized that something felt different on her bottom.  Something warm and mushy was on her skin, but what could it be?  She looked down at her diaper and began to explore it.  The front of her diaper, which had been white now looked yellow and swollen.  She crawled to the edge of the playpen and managed to stand herself up.  When she did so, part of the sticky feeling on her bottom seemed to go away.  Confused, she sat back down and crawled back to her toys.

It was then that the smell of what Alexa had done in her diaper reached Metis.  “Oh….oh my, Alexa.  Did you….um……”

Alexa merely smiled in response, a small line of drool hanging from her chin. 

“Kelly?  Kelly?  I think Alexa needs a changing……”

Kelly walked into the living room and immediately confirmed Metis’s suspicions.  She reached into the playpen and pulled the rear of Alexa’s diaper back as she continued to sit and play with her toys. 

“Yep, that’s a poopy alright!” Kelly cheerfully exclaimed, picking Alexa up from the playpen.  Alexa immediately began to fuss, angered that her play had been interrupted but unaware that it was because she had soiled her diaper.  In fact, Alexa didn’t even realize she had soiled her diaper.  It wasn’t until Kelly began to walk towards the nursery that Alexa made the connection that she was about to be changed and that the odor she had smelt had come from her.  The thought that she had messed herself without realizing it didn’t upset her.  In fact, being in a poopy diaper didn’t bother her at all.  She cared more about the fact that her play had been interrupted than the fact that she had pooped herself.  She didn’t want to get changed, she wanted to play!  Her frustration now turned to tears and she started to cry.

Metis took the crying child from Kelly and began to softly bounce her and whisper into her ear.  “It’s ok, Alexa.  Mommy knows you want to play, but we need to give you a changing first!”

After a few minutes, Alexa’s cries had subsided.  She looked at Metis with teary eyes and managed to pathetically say one of the few remaining words she knew how to: “poo poo?”

Metis nodded her head.  “Yes, Alexa made a poo poo.  Do you want Mommy to change your diaper?” she asked softly.  Alexa nodded her head “yes” and soon she was laying on the changing table with Kelly and Metis standing over her.

“I’ve…..never changed a diaper before, Kelly” Metis admitted.  “Can you show me how?” 

Kelly smiled.  “Of course!  Go ahead, stand here.  I’ll tell you what to do and you can do it, ok?”

“I think I can do that….” Metis replied shakily. 

“Ok, first, peel these back here.  These are the diaper tapes”

Metis removed one tape, then the other.

“Good!  Now, put your thumb and index finger here, on the front waistband and pull it down between her legs…”

Metis pinched the front waistband as instructed, slowly pulling the diaper down between Alexa’s legs.  The odor caused her to involuntarily fan her hand in front of her nose.  “By the gods!  How can something so small make such a stench?”

Kelly began to laugh.  “Come on, Metis.  A divine being like yourself can’t handle a little baby poop?  Now, take her by her ankles and lift them in the air with one hand…..”

A few minutes later, Metis had changed her first diaper and Alexa was contently sucking her pacifier and playing in her playpen, clean as a whistle and smelling of baby powder.  For the rest of the day, Metis handled all of Alexa’s changings.  She simply adored the way Alexa would smile at her as she was changed and took pleasure in providing for the little girl’s care.  Kelly’s role was now relegated to preparing Alexa’s meals and giving child rearing advice to Metis. 

That evening, Alexa was put down for the night by Metis.  Clad in her onesie and overnight diaper, Alexa stared up at her new Mommy as she sang a lullaby to her.  Alexa cooed and gurgled in pleasure, not knowing how to express how wonderfully safe and content she felt.  When she finally drifted off to sleep, Metis took her usual place on the nursing chair.  Alexa suddenly began to fuss, prompting Metis to begin singing another lullaby.  After a few minutes, Alexa’s fussing ceased and Metis joined her in slumber.

By the next morning, Alexa had regressed yet again.  Today would be her final day as an infant.  By the next morning, she’d be inside of Metis’s womb. 

Alexa slowly opened her eyes and, feeling the discomfort of a very wet overnight diaper, started to cry to be changed.  Metis reached into the crib and picked Alexa up, stroking her hair and kissing her cheek. 

“Good Morning, baby girl.  Mommy is here for you, my darling…..”

Kelly entered the nursery and saw that Alexa was now a six-month-old baby girl.  She barely had any hair on head.  Her cries were almost as high-pitched as a newborn’s and a large amount of drool dripped from her chin onto Metis’s robes.  Her body was now entirely covered in baby fat and she had lost nearly all of the distinct features she had possessed.  Her pudgy face was red from crying and her little fists were balled up in frustration.

“Here, you’re going to want to use these, now” Kelly said, bringing a package of Pampers Size 2 diapers.  Metis nodded, grabbed a clean diaper from the package and laid Alexa down to change her.  As she opened her wet diaper, she found that Alexa had made a small bowel movement in her sleep.  She wiped the crying child clean and then taped her into a fresh diaper.  She then carried her to the feeding chair and sat down with her.  Once presented with Metis’s breast, Alexa’s crying ceased and she was soon suckling at her teat. 

Soon after, Alexa found herself back in her highchair, except this time she was spoon fed apple sauce and pureed spinach.  As Alexa ate, she realized for the first time that she had no teeth.  When the applesauce went into her mouth, she could feel the baby spoon rubbing against her gums as she bit down to swallow the semi-liquid food. 

Her beverage, which consisted of juice in a baby bottle, was also placed in front of her.  Alexa sucked the nipple of her bottle after her feeding, involuntarily leaning forward occasionally to pass gas.  This prompted Metis to check her diaper after particularly “bad” flatulence to make sure the infant hadn’t soiled herself in her highchair.  Once Alexa was finished with breakfast, she was placed on the floor in front of Metis, who watched the baby girl play with her toys. 

Alexa’s mind had been regressed to the point that she no longer knew any words.  She simply made cooing and babbling noises and hoped that they made some sort of sense.  She could no longer recall the names of any of the objects before her, which made everything look so wonderful and new.  Toys that lit up caused her eyes to grow wide in amazement and the cartoons playing on TV may as well have been happening in reality.  Simple toys, such as rattles now enthralled her and she kicked her legs in excitement when they made their funny little noises.  Anything she wanted to explore further found it’s way into her mouth, unless Metis took it away from her first.  Now lacking object permanence, anything in front of her simply materialized out of thin air and anything out of her sight had vanished forever.  Her diaper becoming wet or soiled simply “happened” and there was no distinction to her between being dirty or clean, wet or dry.  Alexa simply experienced life as it happened, with no consideration or thought put into the “how” or “why” of it.  And yet, in the back of her mind, that nagging feeling that something wasn’t quite right persisted:  flashes of memories of her past life, of some other “then” that she now lacked the mental faculties to repeat in her mind, let alone interpret. 

For the rest of the day Metis and Kelly spent the day watching over Alexa and caring for her.  Feedings, bottles and diaper changes dominated the day as the inevitable hurtled towards them.  That evening, as Metis laid Alexa down in her crib for the last time, she spoke to her.

“Alexa, I know you can’t understand me.  I don’t know if you’re scared.  I don’t know if you’re regretting this, but know this: I will not abandon you.  I consider you…..” she stopped, choking back tears.  “I love you, Alexa……”

Metis reached into the crib, softly tracing Alexa’s cherub-like face with her thumb.  Alexa, who was already asleep, smiled in response.