The Sanctity of Knowledge

Alexa stood up in her crib, wailing in sorrow and anguish.  She was still a little girl.  She was still trapped in what used to be her home.  It hadn’t been a dream after all.  Athena entered Alexa’s nursery and found her clinging to the bars of her crib, her overnight diaper sagging between her legs as she cried in mourning for a womanhood which she now realized was permanently revoked.  Athena walked over to the crib, leaning over the railing.

“Shhhhh, I know, I know…” she said, stroking the distraught child’s hair softly.  “The first few days are always the worst.  But don’t worry, little one.  You’ll grow to accept it over time….” she said in a tone of confident consolation, reaching down into the crib and picking Alexa up.  She softly bounced the crying child up and down, singing an ancient lullaby to calm her.  Athena’s hypnotically soothing voice had its intended effect and soon Alexa’s sobs were reduced to barely-audible mewling. 

Having mollified her daughter, Athena now carried her to the changing table.  She laid her down gently, handed her a stuffed animal and began to remove the tapes of the soaked garment.  Alexa clutched the stuffed animal tightly as she was changed.  She looked at the stacks of diapers that stood on the changing table and realized that diapers were now a permanent part of her life, whether she liked it or not.  After rolling up the wet diaper and placing it in the nearby diaper pail, Athena wiped, powdered and diapered Alexa, then carried her to the kitchen.

The next indignity awaited Alexa in the form of a booster seat, which was placed on a chair at the kitchen table.  Athena sat her down on the booster seat, then began to make her breakfast.  Alexa watched as her mother prepared her morning meal for her: oatmeal, yogurt and chopped fruit, served alongside a pink sippy cup filled with apple juice.  She remained silent as her meal was laid before her, her mind still struggling to come to grips with a reality that still seemed impossible.  She had once been a proud, independent woman who made her own decisions and lived her life as she saw fit.  Now, she was wearing a diaper and sitting in a booster seat, waiting to be fed by the very woman who had taken it all away.  Still, despite her stubborn disbelief, a creeping sense of permanency began to set in which she found unsettlingly comfortable.   

Her thoughts were interrupted by her growling stomach, reminding her that she was quite hungry.  She picked up her spoon and began to eat her breakfast as Athena sat at the table, watching her.  The child’s dexterity clearly matched her age as she managed to drop her food a few times onto her t-shirt, prompting Athena to remove it, leaving Alexa clad only in her disposable diaper.  Having finished her meal, Alexa grabbed her sippy cup and began to drink her apple juice greedily, not realizing how thirsty she had been.  Satisfied that her daughter had been nourished, Athena cleaned her mouth with a wet cloth and then helped her out of her booster seat and led her by the hand to the living room.

An activity table resided in the center of the room, surrounded by several toys. “Play with your toys while Mommy gets the house ready for company” she instructed, setting Alexa’s half-full sippy cup on the table for her to finish drinking.  Alexa seemed to only hear the first half of the sentence, as her heart fluttered upon being told to play.

Alexa walked towards the assemblage of bright plastic, surveying her options and picking up what was supposed to be a child’s version of a smart phone.  Alexa remembered that she used to have something like it, but this one seemed much more fun.  She spent several minutes pressing its many buttons, each one causing the phone to light up and play sounds and songs which she found highly entertaining. 

As she continued to play, she was reminded by how much of her adult knowledge had been stripped away.  Looking around the living room, she knew what some things were called but the words for other objects completely escaped her.  For example, she knew that the large, rectangular thing attached to the wall was called a “TV” but drew a blank when looking at the little box with the antennae protruding from it situated on the table beneath it.

Occasionally, she would look at objects in the living room which would spark fleeting glimpses of her past life.  The wet bar in the corner conjured images of women conversing with each other, sipping what Alexa understood to be “big girl” drinks from their glasses, while the couch triggered a memory of her as a woman sitting on top of a boy and bouncing up and down on him, although the name for what they were doing and why they were doing it escaped her now.  The constant failure to remember began to upset her and Alexa found it better to focus on playing rather than trying to recall the details of a life that she could only view through an opaque window to the past.

About thirty minutes later, Alexa filled her diaper while standing at the activity table.  Unlike when she had soiled herself at daycare, she was now fully aware of how infantile the act was.  She knew that she used to be able to control such urges.  She knew there was a time when she would have done such a thing seated on the potty and cleaned herself when she was done.  Instead, she had done her morning business in her diaper, helpless to do anything about it until her mother decided to change her.  Such was the nature of her punishment: cursed to relive a second babyhood with the full knowledge that the dignities she had enjoyed as a grown woman were no more.  As the foul odor of what she’d done began to waft around her, all she could do was cry and wait for her Mommy to arrive.

Alerted by Alexa’s cries, Athena returned to the living room to find her teary-eyed and sucking her thumb for comfort.  As she drew nearer, she smelled what her daughter had done, leaving no doubt as to what the child was upset about.     

“Alexa, why are you crying?  Does your diaper need changing?” she asked, knowing full well what the answer was.  Alexa remained silent with her thumb anchored in her mouth as Athena turned her around, inserted two fingers into the rear waistband of her diaper, and peered inside.  The invasive procedure made Alexa feel extremely vulnerable, causing her face to turn bright red from the embarrassment of it all. 

“Oh my, someone does need a changing!” Athena announced, patting the bottom of Alexa’s diaper gently.

Any resolve Alexa had to cling to her last shreds of dignity seemed to melt away as she attempted to plead for her mother to change her.  She hadn’t attempted to speak since waking up, but now the situation compelled her to do so.  Unfortunately, she struggled to find the words to express herself and communicate her needs.  Finally, the former English teacher of Dalian Academy took her thumb out of her mouth and tearfully uttered her first sentence of the morning:

“I goed poo poo mommy………..diapuh ‘tinky!”

Athena frowned sympathetically, her mortal maternal instincts battling against her role as an administrator of divine discipline.  Although Alexa was clearly uncomfortable, she decided to wait a few minutes to change her.  Past experience taught that certain boundaries were best set early on, which included teaching her adoptive children that they couldn’t always have what they wanted right away.  "Besides," she thought, "The child needs to get used to wearing diapers. She’ll be spending a long time in them and I won’t always be able to change her immediately.  The sooner she gets used to the feeling that using them makes, the better.  It’s for her own good.”  Noticing that Alexa’s sippy cup was still half-full, she took it from the activity table and handed it her.

“Mommy knows you made poo poo, but you didn’t finish drinking your apple juice!” she observed.  “Mommy will change your diaper after your juice is all gone.” 

Alexa looked up at her mother indignantly.  “But mommmyyyyy!  I no wan appo juice!  Diapuh poopy!” she protested, looking at the sippy cup with contempt.

Athena put her hands on her hip, and shot Alexa a stern look.  “I think I made myself clear, little one!  You will finish your apple juice and THEN your diaper will be changed.  If that isn’t acceptable to you, perhaps you’d prefer a spanking?”

Alexa suddenly remembered her spanking from the night prior.  She could practically feel the sting on her backside as she recounted the horrible punishment Athena had administered to her.  Alexa sheepishly raised the sippy cup to her mouth and began to drink from it.  Athena smiled, satisfied that her child was beginning to understand who was in charge.  Alexa continued to drink from her sippy cup as her mother watched with her arms crossed, making it clear that she expected it to be empty.  The sensation of being in a dirty diaper was all the motivation Alexa needed to hurriedly gulp down the remaining juice.  As she drank, she began wetting her diaper, causing it to sag a bit between her legs.

After what seemed like an eternity, Alexa finished her sippy cup.  She walked toward her mother, held the empty cup out to her and with a pouty, apprehensive look on her face announced “I dwanked it all………”  Athena took the cup from her, unscrewed the top and held the cup upside down over the sink. 

“Not a drop left.  That’s a good little girl.  Come to Mommy……”  she said, bending down and collecting the child in her arms as she carried her off to change her diaper. 

Once in the nursery, Athena sat Alexa down on the soft padding of the changing table, which had the unfortunate effect of spreading the contents of Alexa’s diaper around her and causing her to begin fussing in discomfort.  Athena offered a staccato “shh shh shh shh” to calm her and when that didn’t work, began to sing the ancient lullaby she had sung earlier.  The exotic, ethereal melody and strange words once again calmed Alexa as Athena began to change her.

“Thank Zeus that The Mousai taught me this song” she thought as she began to wipe Alexa clean.  “I don’t know what I’d do without it!”

Athena continued to sing as she wiped her daughter clean while Alexa lay still with her thumb in her mouth, mesmerized by her mother’s voice.  Having cleansed her daughter’s backside, Athena disposed of the soiled garment in the diaper pail and unfolded a clean diaper from the nearby stack.  Alexa could smell the fresh diaper’s light fragrance as it was slid under her.  Despite the humiliation of being changed, she was nonetheless beginning to associate the smell of clean diapers with comfort and security. 

After Alexa was powdered, Athena fastened the tapes of the diaper and sat her daughter up on the changing table.  “Now, then!  Let’s get you dressed.  You need to be wearing more than just a diaper when Mommy’s friends arrive!” she cheerily announced.

“Fwends?” Alexa inquired meekly.

“Yes, my child.  Friends!” Athena dismissively replied as she began to rummage through the drawers of the nearby dresser.  Alexa sat on the table with her arms crossed across her bare chest as she watched her mother pick out her clothes.  A few moments later, she produced an outfit consisting of a light pink t-shirt and a denim suspender skirt.  Alexa sat in motionless indifference as her mother began to dress her, noticing that she was clearly enjoying the process.  When Athena was done, she took a step back, smiling in satisfaction at the job she did.  “There, much better!  Now, come with Mommy so she can brush your hair.”  Athena helped Alexa off the changing table and took her by the hand to the bathroom.  Once inside, she sat Alexa on the bathroom counter and began to brush her hair.  Alexa barely noticed her mother’s brushstrokes as she stared at the little girl in the bathroom mirror.  She remembered the times when she would use it to admire her nude feminine form and charms.  She would trim and sculpt the hairs that served as a proud symbol of her womanhood and pose seductively in front of it.  That was gone now.  Instead, she sat in an outfit fit for a little girl as her mother placed a bow in her hair. 

“You look so precious, my child!  Mommy’s friends are going to simply melt when they see you!” she cheerily exclaimed, standing Alexa up in front of the mirror so that she could see handywork.  Alexa couldn’t help but feel like a living doll as she stared at herself with her mother’s hands on her hips.  Her only consolation was that her outfit at least covered her diaper.

With that, Alexa was taken back to the living room and told to watch cartoons until company arrived.  Alexa sat in front of the TV, sucking her thumb and clutching a stuffed animal as Athena arranged the living room to receive her guests. 

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang.  Alexa had been so engrossed in cartoons that the sound startled her.  Now, her heartbeat slightly climbed as she awaited to meet her mother’s “friends”.

Alexa got up and partially hid herself behind a wall, wanting to catch a glimpse of who had arrived but also not wanting anyone to see her like this.  Horrible thoughts began to run amok in her head.  What if her mother had invited someone she knew?  Her former colleagues, her friends?  What if this was another “punishment” to be dealt to her?  She clutched her stuffed animal tightly as her mother opened the front door.  Alexa couldn’t bare to look, so she turned her head as she remained concealed behind the wall.

“Good Morning, Mother Goddess” she heard one voice say.

“Mother Goddess, thank you for your invitation,” said another.

“Thank you for your generosity, Mother Goddess” said a third.

The women began to converse as they entered the home, their voices becoming louder as they approached the living room.  Alexa was able to pick out bits and pieces over the conversational din of the four women.

“No, no, no……..hold mommy’s hand, Jessica.”

“Shush, Elizabeth.  What did I say about not speaking unless spoken to?”

“Kaylen, stop your whining!”

Alexa walked away from the wall as the four women rounded the corner to the living room.  What she saw next surprised her.  Each of the three women who had arrived were holding the hand of a little girl who all appeared to be slightly older than Alexa.  All three wore expressions of apprehensive confusion as they stared back at the little girl with the bow in her hair. 

“Come, my daughters.  Let us be seated so that I may review your gifts to my temple.”  Athena announced, taking her place in one of the four chairs that had been placed around the center of the living room. 

Each of the women did the same, setting down their diaper bags and responding with “yes, Mother Goddess” in unison as their little ones stayed close to them.  Alexa moved to her mother, clutching her dress and sucking her thumb as she tried to figure out why something felt familiar about the little girls who had arrived.

“Place your gifts before me” Athena commanded.  Each woman obeyed, taking their respective child by the hand and leading them to the center of the room.  The young girls looked up at Athena, their eyes wide with fear as the Goddess sat in her chair, looking down at the them sternly. 

“Jessica Andrews, Elizabeth Shaw, Kaylen Vaughn, hear my words! As I’m sure you’ve been told, your sins against my temple are profanely egregious.  Just like your former colleague, Alexa, you used your position of trust to enrich yourselves at the expense of poisoning my blessings upon the mortal realm!”

While Alexa didn’t understand half of what her mother was saying, but she knew the girls before her were in just as much trouble as she was. 

“I’m sorry!  Please! Please don’t make me stay like this!  I’ll do anything!” Kaylen shouted.

“I only did it because everyone else was doing it!  I didn’t know I was sinning against you!  I didn’t even know who you were!” Elizabeth protested.

“You can’t do this to me!  I can’t be like this!  It isn’t right!  I’m not a little girl!  I’m a woman!  Please turn me back!” Jessica pleaded.

Athena scowled at their pleas for compassion.  “Your cries for mercy fall upon deaf ears!” she replied sharply, dramatically turning her head away in disgust.  She once more surveyed her captives, then turned to the women standing behind the girls.

“Daughters, you have done well.  You were once in the same position as these three, but through submission and obedience you gained my favor.  I am most proud of you.  I hereby accept these children as gifts to my temple, to be dealt with as I see fit.  For now, you are to raise them as your own.  As a reward for your service, I grant you the blessings of motherhood……”  Athena formed a sign with her hands and an aura appeared to surround the three women.  Each began to breath heavily as they their bodies flooded with the hormones of motherhood.

“T-thank you!  Thank you, Mother Goddess!” Angelia exclaimed, feeling like a true woman for the first time in centuries.  The others didn’t have to speak to express their thanks.  The look on their faces told Athena all she needed to know about their gratitude.

“Now, then……as for the three of you………..” Athena began, dotting the air with her finger in seemingly random spots with one hand while drawing a line between them with the other, “You can begin your second babyhood!  Your new lives begin now, babies!”  A constellation suddenly appeared in a burst of light, like the flash on a camera.  Alexa watched in awe as the girls began to get younger right before her eyes.

Frightened, the little girls began to protest once more in a cacophony of cries for mercy and forgiveness.  Athena raised her hand again, this time closing her open palm slowly as the little girls’ speech began to regress with their bodies.  Soon, their cries resembled nothing more than the tantruming of small children.  Their clothes fell from their bodies as they attempted to get away from their mothers who held them in place until their transformation was completed.

Each woman picked up their new daughters, bouncing them and cooing at them to calm them from their shocked hysteria.  Athena looked on, a look of satisfaction on her face.  Her administration of punishment was complete.  Now, it was time for her daughters to bond themselves to their children.  “Mothers, take your daughters in your arms!” she shouted over the tormented wails of the newly-regressed girls.  “It is time for them to drink of your bosom!” 

The new mothers complied, carrying their kicking and screaming daughters to their respective chairs.  The childrens’ resistance soon subsided as they fell prey to the overwhelming urge to nurse, just as Alexa had.  Alexa watched as her former colleagues were breastfed by their new mothers.  One by one, their crying fell silent and soon all that could be heard was the sound of suckling.  The four women looked down at their daughters with affection, stroking their hair as they drank the sweet milk produced by their teats.  Athena gathered Alexa into her arms and sat her on her lap, allowing her to watch the scene before her with a combination of fascination and revulsion. 

As each girl finished suckling, she was carried to the nursery where she was diapered and clothed.  Each mother had brought an outfit for her daughter to be placed in after their regression.  Kaylen was placed in a white t-shirt with a cartoon depiction of a dinosaur, along with a pair of shorts.  Jessica was put in a light pink dress with a white rabbit on it.  Elizabeth was put in overalls with a white t-shirt that said “1+2 = 3 (My Age!)”. 

Now that the ceremony was complete, the four women conversed as their new daughters sat on the floor at their feet, sucking their thumbs and coming to grips with their new realities.  Athena shared her wisdom and child-rearing advice with the new mothers.  Diapers were wet, soiled and changed on the living room floor in full view of everyone.  Tantrums were had over toys being stolen and spankings were administered to those who misbehaved.  At the end of the day, each mother returned home with her new baby girl.  As their children slept, their mothers prepared the belongings that would be sent with them to their first day of daycare.  As for their daughters, all of them fell asleep in their cribs that night to the same song.