Unfair- A Diaper Dimension Novel

Chapter 1
Chapter 109: Setting Limits

Chapter Description: Clark defends Ivy from bullying

Chapter 109: Setting Limits

First thing Monday morning, my head was back on its swivel.  Left, right, up, forward, behind. The only direction I neglected looking was down. Stupidly, I imagined my neck stretching with use making me taller. It was a silly thought, but the absurdity of it kept my otherwise negative emotions in check.

What was really stupid, truly idiotic, was that every time I was ready to give up, I swore I saw something just on the periphery of my vision that made my head turn and I’d do the whole dance all over again.

“What are you looking for?” Mandy asked, sounding suspicious. A bad luck of the draw had put us side by side in line.  Calling the former athletic tomboy an enemy would be an extreme exaggeration; but we were neither of each other’s favorite people.

“Nothing…” I lied.  Is it a lie when everyone knows it? Or is it just politics?

“He’s probably just peeing and hoping nobody notices,” Billy joked in front of me.

“Shut up, Billy.”  I said robotically. “I’m not peeing right now.”  I’d already done that once before school and again after breakfast.  Total wet and forget scenario. Would have stayed forgotten until Beouf or Zoge plopped me down on the changing table, too. 

It’s not that I was numb between my legs or had zero bladder control; it’s just that who in their right mind kept a constant tally on how many times they peed and pooped? Barring health issues and pain, most people forgot within a minute of washing their hands.  For me there was no flush or handwashing, so I was starting to allow myself to forget as soon as my bladder stopped aching.  If I didn’t have more important things to worry about that fact might have made me start to worry about myself.

“You’re wet, though,” Billy laughed over his shoulder.

Anyone with more than a day of dealing with toddlers would recognize that I was already wet.  I’d been wet before Zoge took Ivy and I out to the bus loop and added to it during breakfast. The light blue and green striped romper Janet had dressed me in was especially snug between the legs. The pulp had done its job of absorbing everything I’d put into it and had had enough time to swell up.

Still, my diaper was nowhere close to leaking and the snaps that ran up between my legs were holding firm.  I was going to get changed at Circle Time, but only because it would be inconvenient to have to change me any other time prior to Lunch.

What Billy was really looking for that Monday was a fight. Distractedly, I added to the banter and kept looking.  “Pot? Did you just call your dear friend Kettle black?”  We were about to go into the breezeway and then round the corner into the classroom but maybe I could see if a familiar car had pulled into the front parking lot.

“Huh?” Billy said.  “Pot?”

Mandy rolled her eyes. “He’s saying you’re wet too.”  She called back over her shoulder to Annie.  “Your boyfriend is an idiot.”

“I know,” Annie said. My eyes were elsewhere but I could hear the condescending smile. “He makes me laugh.”

“Billy,” I heard Zoge call from Chaz’s stroller. “Eyes forward. Look where you’re going, my love.”  Billy took the hint.  “Clark, you too.”

I stilled my head but my eyes kept going, straining to see in the direction of my ears. Damnit!  Nothing!  We were back in the breezeway, a brick wall to either side.  A left turn would take us to Beouf’s room, but maybe I could jerk my head right and get one last peek in the parking lot.

A tap on the shoulder brought me back.  “Are you doing that thing, again?” Mandy asked. “Still worried what the big kids think of you?”

I frowned at the absurdity.  “What? No?”  We’d left Breakfast so late that beyond a tardy car rider, there weren’t any actual students around to bear witness to my humiliation. 

“Good.” Mandy said. “You don’t look that babyish.”   Easy for her to say. I couldn’t remember a time when I’d seen her dressed with anything needing snaps.  Other than her diaper, Mandy tended to be dressed in clothes that my students might wear. A three or four year old’s wardrobe of shorts that weren’t quite baggy enough and skirts that weren’t quite long enough was a major upgrade from onesies, shortalls, rompers, or just the t-shirt and diaper combo.

Rather than argue with her or vent or point out how she was referring to people a fraction of her age as ‘big kids’, I let it go and said “Thanks.”

“What are you looking around for?”  She asked as soon as we turned the corner.

From behind, Ivy answered for me. “Miss Tracy’s not here today. Clark misses her.”

I didn’t reply. There was no denying it. She hadn’t been at the bus loop. She hadn’t shuffled in late to the cafeteria to help with the kids at breakfast.  I didn’t see any sign of her car.  The only consolation I had was that Ambrose looked incredibly peeved, so Tracy’s absence probably wasn’t part of her plan.

Brollish maybe…?  No! Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it!

Tracy was just gone.  She didn’t show up today.  Called in sick. Took a personal day.  Or she just quit; got tired of Ambrose and Brollish’s bullshit and ran off with her man mountain of husband to start a new life.

“Whoah!” Mandy said, snapping me out of my head. We were in Beouf’s room and the Amazon duo was unhooking us from the line harnesses. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I rasped.  “I’m fine.” I was in no mood to fend off Billy or any of my other jackals.

Her voice pitched down low and quiet.  “You sure? You just looked like you were about to…”

“Thanks. I’m good.  Just…exhausted.”  Exhausted was a good word for how I was feeling. A fine word. An adult word.  One that was harder to pounce on than ‘tired’ or ‘cranky’.

We waddled over to the front of the classroom and took our positions on the carpet.  “I get it.”

I stirred and looked gloomily at Mandy. Shauna was on her right, but there was another open spot on Shauna’s other side.  She didn’t need to be sitting by me.  “Get what?”

“I get it,” she repeated. “You’re worried about your friend. That sucks.”

“Yeah it does.”  I kept breathing and looking down at the massive pulpy bulk squishing beneath me just so that my throat.

Billy had gotten unhooked from the line first, but was still prowling around the semi-circle like a tiger in its cage looking for the perfect spot to sit. When Annie walked behind us and took the seat to Shauna’s right, leaving no room for her beau, Billy stopped and looked downright offended.

Ivy plopped down on my left, wearing a soft pink dress with her legs covered up in thin white tights.  It was just short of Picture Day fancy, and depending on how hot it got as the morning went on, she’d probably lose the tights by the time we got to the playground. 

Was that why Zoge tended to dress her daughter up so much? Were ornate and flashy baby dresses the closest thing she could fathom to letting Ivy grow up?  Did that extra touch somehow make her feel better that her grown flesh and blood never got a real opportunity at life? Did she sleep better at night because at least her daughter was wearing top shelf baby gear instead of running around naked in just her diaper?

That was giving Hana Zoge too much credit, I decided. I felt I understood her reasons for the awful things she’d done, but that didn’t mean she’d earned any kind of benefit of the doubt yet.

Beouf high stepped over us and sat down cross legged at the head.  “Billy, sit down,” she instructed. “We’re ready to begin.”  In perfect choreographed harmony, we all heard the first tape on Chaz’s diaper rip from the bathroom

“AH! COLD! COLD! COLD!”  Zoge’s gentle laughing and cooing were less distinct from where I sat.

Grudgingly, my most aggressive bully boy sat down next to Ivy and shot me a look of acknowledgement if not respect. That’s just how people like Billy were. I still had enough credibility in his mind where his antics were more friendly competition than any attempt to assert dominance.

I leaned forward just enough to look past Ivy and returned the nod. Then she did the unthinkable.

“I’m gonna miss Miss Tracy, too.”  I stopped breathing. The full weight of that sentence was crushing my chest and I wanted to scream out in pain from it.

Tracy. Gone. Forever.  The last time I’d seen her was a fucking grocery store by accident and she wasn’t even in Oakshire anymore! And it was so obvious that even Ivy, a girl born and raised in a fantasy world, was emotionally aware enough that she could see the writing on the wall that I was refusing to read. Wasn’t that so like my life?!

Too real! Too fucking real!

Oblivious to my emotional state, or maybe not, the Little Yamatoan scooted sideways, leaned over, draped her arm across my shoulders, and pulled me in for the lightest, most gentle hug. I let her. What’s more, I hugged her back.  “Thanks,” I whispered.

“Welcome,” she whispered back.

“EWWW! GROSS!  IVY’S VIOLATING CLARK’S CONSENT AGAIN!”

It all happened so fast that Beouf hadn’t gotten out the first syllable of one of her Yamatoan nursery rhymes.  Ivy jerked up and away from me like she’d been caught doing something wrong.  “Sorry!” she said. “Sorry!  Sorry! I didn’t mean to!” 

She started shuffling back, trying to separate herself from me.  Just the accusation of her doing something wrong was making her shake.

“SHE WAS TRYING TO SUCK ON HIM!” Billy shouted. “LIKE A VAMPIRE!  I SAW TEETH! TEETH I TELL YOU!”

Zoge rushed out of the bathroom, carrying Chaz. “Ivy?!”

Chaz was blushing like a beet.  “Mrs. Zoge!” He yelled. “You forgot to button me up!”

“Mommy!”  Ivy shouted. “I didn’t!  I didn’t mean to!”

“BILLY!” I snapped. “WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?!”

Billy was trying his best not to laugh at his own cruelty. “What?! I was saving your life.  Ivy was trying to give you a hickey or something.  She was about to mount you, I swear! That’s how it looked!”

Ivy was shaking her head like she’d been accused of murder.  The first few words coming out of her mouth were “No,” but after that it melted into what might have been a combination of Yamatoan and wordless blubbering.

Chaz was set down so Ivy could be picked up, and soothed; her back rubbed and her bottom patted. No longer caring that his romper wasn’t buttoned up, Chaz wasted no time taking Ivy’s spot and reached out to both Billy and myself for celebratory high five. He got one from Billy.

Oh, Ivy! That poor woman! Every time she did something even remotely ‘adult’, it became a scene. She’d been conditioned to the point where even the baseless accusation of impropriety reduced her to tears. Coming from Billy, the accusation had even less credibility.

I boomed, “SHE GAVE ME A FUCKING SIDE HUG, YOU ASSHOLE!  I WAS FEELING BAD AND SHE WAS TRYING TO BE NICE!”

Mandy and the half of the class that normally hated my guts were nodding along.  “It’s true, Mrs. B.  Ivy was being good!”  Half a second later she remembered to say, “So was Clark.”

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?” Billy said, seeming far more entertained than outraged.

I don’t know when I climbed to my feet and stared down at Billy.  I just was. “Try minding your own business just once.”  I’d woken up with a short fuse already.  It was dwindling down. I was done yelling. Soon, a tiny voice in the back of my brain promised, I’d be done talking.

Slowly, deliberately, Billy stood up to meet me. Shoulders back, head up, and chest bowed out.  He was taller than me, younger, and in better shape.  The anger and frustration I was feeling on so many levels didn’t give a damn.  I’d never been in a real fight before.  First time for everything.

Beouf did not stand up, but there was a quiet, intimidating aura that was rapidly expanding from around her.   “Billy. Clark. You’re both about to make a bad choice. Do you want to make a bad choice?”

We ignored her.

“Ivy’s off limits,” I growled.  My fists and everything below my waist was clenched, cheeks included.

“Yeah?” Billy said.

“Yeah,” I mouthed.

“Why’s that?”  He wasn’t blinking.

I was trembling. Given half a day to play with my words I could have told Ivy’s story in a compact enough way to make him understand that she’d had it harder than most.  Given fifteen minutes I could at least bullshit some excuse so that he’d think leaving her alone was his idea. 

I didn’t want that kind of time.  “Doesn’t matter,” I heard myself rasp.  “Ivy’s. Off. Limits.”

Billy’s eyes left me, feeling pressure from the other members of our clique.   Zoge and Beouf were looking at each other. Everyone else, I felt, was staring at me. “Or else, what?”

“Nope,” Beouf said, snatching me up.  I was on her hip and dizzy from the near whiplash.  “Nuh-uh.  Not doing this.  Not today. Not ever. Nope, nope, nope.” She started carrying me to the bathroom.  “Billy. Time-out. Clark! Diaper change, then time-out!  Mrs. Zoge, take over!”

Billy instantly reverted to being a kid who got his hand caught in the proverbial cookie jar.  “What’d I do?”

“You know what you were doing,” she said, her body radiating anger and heat.

“No,” Billy lied. “I was just trying to help! Honest!”

I was at ground zero watching Melony’s eyes widen and her jaw go drill sergeant stiff.  “Then,” she said evenly. “It seems I need to remediate you on the difference between helping, tattling, and provoking others.  We’ll do it during your playground time.”

“What? NO!”

The rest of Billy’s protests were drowned out by the closing of the bathroom door.  I was down on the changing table, and staring up into Melony’s eyes instead of my own ridiculous reflection while she popped open the snaps on my romper.

“This isn’t what I meant when I was talking about looking out for Ivy.”

“He started it!” I whined.  I slapped the palm of my hand over my mouth. Wow, that sounded dumb. “What else was I supposed to do?”

“Ignore him,” she said, gathering up the usual changing supplies. “Don’t let him bait you.”

“Oh, come-” She threw me a warning look and opened up my diaper.  I lowered my voice. “How often does that work in the real world?”  I sucked in my breath and bit my tongue while the cold wipes passed over me.

“It’s still against school rules,” Beouf said, crossing my ankles and lifting my legs.  “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’d get in if you actually got into a fight?  Students being dangerous to other students is one of the few ways you could get expelled.”

I crossed my arms and tried to forget the fact that a new diaper was being placed under me mid argument.  “I know the student code of conduct,” I groused. “Wouldn’t Billy get expelled too?”

“Who cares about Billy?” Melony asked. “I’m worried about you!”

I locked eyes again and caught her blushing.  The caught a glimpse of myself giving the biggest dumbest grin up at her. “Really?”

“What?” she asked, pretending to be very focused on getting the tapes on my fresh Monkeez just right. “You’re gonna tell me you didn’t have favorites when you were a teacher?”

“Not the point,” I said.

“Agreed,” she said.  “I’m very proud of you for trying to do the right thing, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it.”

She was technically correct and I hated it.  “What am I supposed to do?”

“You work on just being nice to Ivy. I’ll take care of Billy.  Just promise me you’re not going to do anything stupid or crazy for the rest of the day.”

I huffed. “Fine. I promise.”

I didn’t know it at the time, but that was a promise I wasn’t going to come close to keeping.