A Comedy of AR's (Book 2)

Chapter 12
CHAPTER 212 .......... Amnesia (Part Six) Dealing With the Children

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Chapter Description: 2 new pictures added 4/3/24 Images for this story can be found at the following web...... https://sites.google.com/view/comedy-ars-characters/home

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CHAPTER  212

When I walked up the three steps in the bus, plenty of them greeted me with, “Hi Derrek.  How are you feeling?”

 

“I nervously replied, “Hello, children.”

 

“I’m fine, I guess.”

 

The largest student on the bus patted his seat and told me, “You sit here, Derrek.  Do you even remember who I am?”

 

“No, sorry.” 

 

When I walked back there, the boy was so huge that there was little area left for me to sit … on his two-person seat.  And I, being an adult, saw no reason why I had to be polite to twelve-year-olds.

 

I asked him, “Why would I want to try to squeeze in next to someone who was morbidly obese?”

 

“The boy frowned and responded with, “Fuck you, Derrek.”

 

I found an empty seat near the back and sat there.

 

When I arrived at school, I felt super awkward joining the crowd at the front entrance.  I asked the security guard where Miss Premo’s homeroom was located and followed his instructions.

 

I entered the classroom and sure enough, the first seat by the door was empty.  But before I could sit, the two girls nearest me approached and peppered me with questions.

 

The Asian girl said, “Darakatoms, we’ve been worried about you since your concussion.  Your mom said it gave you amnesia.  Are you okay?  Do you know who we are?”

 

I shook my head.  “I’m sorry, but I don’t recognize anyone in this room.”

 

The other girl put her hands on my shoulders and said, “Derrek, Hoshi and I are your best friends.  We ran for office together.  You’re the president of the seventh grade class … and I’m Madeline, your vice-president.”

 

I gave the girl the ‘once-over’ eyeing her from head to toe and then asked, “Why would I choose a flat-chested running mate?”

 

Madeline removed her hands and back away from me.  “That is very rude, Derrek,” she complained.  “Just because you have amnesia doesn’t mean you have to act like a jerk.”

 

“Sorry,” I replied.  “I didn’t think a twelve-year-old would be that sensitive about her tits.”

 

Madeline used her right hand to smack the left side of my face.

 

The slap hurt, but I sarcastically answered back with, “Um … ouch?”  And then I followed up that remark with, “Madeline, if you don’t hit me anymore, I’ll buy you a training bra for Christmas.”

 

--- SLAP!! ---

 

This time, she nailed the other side of my face with her left hand … and that one hurt even more.

 

“Ouch again?” I mumbled, as I rubbed my face.  “Madeline, your tits will never grow with that kind of an attitude.”

 

The first girl was shocked.  “Derrek, how could you be so rude to Madeline.  We’re all like best friends here.”

 

“And who are you?” I asked the girl.

 

“I’m Hoshiko, your treasurer, and your lab partner in Biology.  Can’t you remember me?”

 

“No,” I answered.  “All Orientals look alike.”

 

The girl advised, “Derrek, the word ‘Oriental’ is actually considered offensive.  I’m Japanese.”

 

“I see,” I responded, “so what do you want me to call you … ‘Slant-eye’? … ‘Jappo’?”

 

The girl had every intention to kick a field goal in my balls, but after the slaps from Madeline, I was expecting it and turned to the side … so she only kicked me in my hip area.

 

“By the way, Hoshiko … Our side won World War II. … It was in all the papers.  We nuked your asses.”   (My attitude was awash in depravity and I would probably hate myself later because of it.  I thought that if all the children hated me, then they wouldn’t miss me when I disappeared after Friday.)

 

The girl leveled a verdict, “I DISPISE you, Darakatoms!  You’re not my friend anymore!”

 

“My name is not Derrek Adams.  It’s Derrek Hamlish … and you shouldn’t be such a cry baby.”

 

Then a blonde girl tapped my shoulder and said, “Don’t listen to those girls, Derrek.  I’m your real girl friend.”

 

“Oh yeah?” I countered.  “And just who are you?”

 

“Starline Valentine.”

 

“And why are you my girlfriend?” I asked her.

 

“Because I like bad boys,” she replied, poking and running her her index finger down my chest.”

 

“Oh really?” I said, smiling.  “And how do you know I’m bad?”

 

“Feminine instincts.  I may say ‘hi’ during lunch … So don’t eat too much.”

 

“Okay,” I answered, maintaining a sly ‘Mona Lisa’ smile.  “Hey Starline, do you know where my Math class is?  I don’t think Madeline and Hoshiko want to be my tour guides anymore.”

 

The blonde took my hand.  “Follow me, tiger,” she cooed.

 

“Alright … I think I like you, Starline.”

 

“That’s why I’m your girlfriend, tiger.”

 

Starline walked on my left in the hallway.  Then she let go of my hand and inserted her right hand into my jeans … the back left pocket.  I’m not sure if that counts as a PDA (public display of affection)  but my penis quickly went ‘boing’.  It seems that this twelve-year-old body that I’m in gets erections very easily.

 

When we got to Math class I took the first seat as usual.  Unfortunately, Madeline was still seated on my left and Hoshiko sat behind me … all alphabetical, I was told.  Both girls made sure not to say anything or even make eye contact … which was fine with me.

 

The klutzy looking Math teacher walked over to me to make small talk.

 

He went with the standard first question, “How do you feel, Derrek?”

 

I answered, “Great.”

 

“Sammantha tells me that you had a concussion on Friday, causing amnesia.”

 

That annoyed me.  “What? … Are you on a first name basis with every kid’s mother?  What is she, your girlfriend?”

 

“No … Derrek, do you remember Shilo?”

 

I shook my head.  “Never heard of him.”

 

“Well, actually, Shilo is female.”

 

I challenged him again.  “And who’s Shilo, you’re girlfriend?”

 

“Let’s change the subject.”

 

“And what’s your name, Mister Math teacher?”

 

“Major Victum.”

 

I nodded.  “That’s obvious.  And why are you smoking a pipe in school?”

 

“There’s no tobacco in my pipe.”

 

“No offense, Mr. Victum, but do you enjoy looking stupid?”

 

“Derrek, I hope you regain your memory soon because this version of you is a little rough around the edges.”

 

“You mean I’m not always this charming? … Hey Mr. Victum, I have a math question.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Is it true that the angle of the dangle equals the mass of the ass times the cube of the boob?”

 

The instructor did not look happy.  “If that’s all you can remember, Derrek, it’s going to be a very long school year.”

 

 

 

When the bell rang, I knew that I’d have to ask other people for directions to my Spanish class since Starline didn’t take Spanish.  But I was really caught off guard when somebody’s hand grabbed the back of my neck collar and yanked me sideways into a large closet.  It looked like a place where the janitor stored his cleaning supplies.  The door was quickly slammed shut.

 

I turned around and saw Madeline.  Then she reversed her position and grabbed the front of my collar.  She looked royally pissed.  On top of that, she held an open water bottle right in front of my nose.  That sure got my attention.

 

I fumbled for words.  “Uh, Madeline … Could you please point your water bottle in a different direction? … maybe like away from me?”

 

“She sneered, “You better listen to me good, Derrek HAMLISH.  I’m the only person in this school who knows about your water curse.  And I could have you wearing diapers in about 60 seconds.”

 

I shook my head rapidly back and forth.  “Uh … please don’t do that Madeline.  I’m really sorry about all those terrible things I said about your nicely maturing breasts.  I hope that you’ll accept my sincerest apologies.”

 

The girl tightened her grip on the front of my shirt and practically yelled, “Shut up, Derrek!  I don’t give a FUCK about the crap you said to me.  But Hoshiko is a very nice person from another country who’s struggling to learn American culture and you practically ruined her whole stay in this country.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You’re sorry, Derrek?  And how sorry will you be after I pour this bottle of water over your head?”

 

She had me scared and I started begging.  “Madeline, please … I really don’t want you to turn me into a baby.  I said terrible things to Hoshiko.  Is there a way I can make up for it?”

 

“Derrek, I’d be happy to buy you your first pack of diapers.  And I can’t wait to see how tiny your penis would be as a baby.  Sammantha tells me you already have a crib set up in your room … just for times like this.  And I’d be happy to babysit you any evening, and I wouldn’t even charge for it.  I think it would be so fun feeding you your bottle and changing your diaper when you wet … and spanking you when necessary … And I would read Dr. Seuss to you as you fell asleep in my lap.  You would be a good baby.”

 

The girl broke me … and I started crying, “Does everyone in this school know my mom?”

 

Madeline tilted the water bottle and asked me, “So are you ready to apologize to Hoshiko?”

 

I nodded a bunch of times really fast.  “Yes, Madeline … very much so.”

 

“Well, don’t do it now, because you have to get to Spanish.  But you’ll see her again in third period English.”

 

“Okay, okay … Thank you for not pouring the water on me.”

 

Madeline clicked the door open and told me, “Get your ass out of here, Derrek.”

 

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