The Diaper Bag

Chapter 4
Part 3

Later that night, Lynn Gilligan sat on the edge of her bed, eyeing the bag nervously.  The dirty clothes-the dirty ADULT clothes- had been put in the washing machine.  In an hour or two, she’d have to switch them out to the dryer; then it would be time to shower, get in a pair of fresh pajamas, go to sleep, and wake up for another day of Community College, and checking to see if she had any new offers for babysitting job.

Except…

Except she still had the extra large, the ADULT sized Huggies- to dispose of; never mind the little girl socks and shoes that were still in the bag.  How strange.  How paradoxical.  The sizing star on it; Size 8.  Big enough to fit her.  If the little pastel star had had a 2 or 3 or a 4...a number that would have popped up on a normal sized diaper; she wouldn’t have thought about it too much.  It would have been an adorable costume piece.

But Size 8?  She unfolded it in her lap and refolded it.  Turned it every which way.  Size 8.  It didn’t exist, but if Huggies really did make a Size 8, it would have fit Lynn perfectly. In a weird way, this could be her diaper.

Her diaper.  Her diaper bag.  Fuck it, her cute little toddler outfit.

No.  That was just silly.  Ridiculous even.  Adorable...atrocious.  Stil...it would be a waste not to see how the diaper had turned out.  Earlier today she’d created a ball that could bounce indefinitely. Not even two hours ago she’d made a stack of magically locked Luvs.  Yet it was a single Huggies that caused her brain to stir with anticipation and longing.

A new angle occurred to her.  She carried her old diaper bag around her most everywhere so she could be a better babysitter.  She could use the magic of this one to help take her to the next level:  See how it felt to be a little girl waddling around in a cute diaper.  Wonder at how it felt went wet and at what point did it need a change?  

The diaper bag made baby items that could be used by her; so wouldn’t it be in everyone’s best interest if she used the magical clothes to develop a kind of empathy for her chief clientele?  See the world through their eyes?

Of course it would!

With that in mind, she slid the diaper bag onto the floor and doffed her pants and panties.  Carefully, she unfolded the impossibly large Huggies and laid it out on the bed.  This was going to be tricky.  She couldn’t conjure a giant adult to help her put the diaper on...could she?  Best not to risk it.  

“Baby powder,” she commanded the bag just as she closed it.  Now, there with the socks and shoes, was a bottle of white lavender scented cornstarch. She emptied the bag and sprinkled some of the sweet smelling stuff on the inside on the inside of the Size 8 Huggies.

Her body trembling, Lynn laid down on top of the diaper and sprinkled some more powder directly on her skin. “Here. We. Go.”   She reached forward and pulled the front up between her spread thighs.

It wasn’t pretty.  There’s a reason her charges didn’t change their own diapers.  Even after she had the front left side neatly tucked in and taped over, it didn’t feel quite right.  When the other side was taped up she stood and looked down.  The diaper still felt a little too loose.  A little saggy despite nothing being um...deposited yet.  “Aim higher on the hips next time,” she told herself.  Thankfully, the two large velcro tabs were easy enough to adjust now that she was standing up.  It only took her a few extra seconds to get it nice and snug around her waist.

“Not bad,” she thought.  “Not bad at all.”  The last minute adjustment made her feel better, too. If she had gotten it all right on the first try, she would have thought the diaper a little too magical.  This though?  This was just right. Like a real baby.

She looked at the frilly socks and shoes and decided to put them on, too.  “Might as well,” she told herself.  Herself, or the bag…

After she was fully dressed, (sort of, she’d chosen to leave the shorts where they’d landed in the hamper), Lynn took a moment to admire herself in her full length bedroom.  A lime green t-shirt with a pastel purple flower on it that barely covered the top of her Huggies, frilly socks that stopped just past her ankles and pink shoes that lit up every time she took a step.  She wasn’t sure which she liked better: The blinking pink lights she kept seeing on her periphery or the papery rustle that she felt and heard with every step.

Both?  Both was good.  Both.

She looked at herself.  It was odd, but she liked her decision not to put the shorts back on over the Huggies.  Even though she wasn’t going to dare to leave her room with this getup on, the shoes and socks made her feel like she was dressed for the day; a baby ready for a night out on the town.

Mickey and Minnie were playing on the front of her diaper between her legs.  She turned around and saw the mouse himself giving another big thumbs up on her behind.  How odd it felt.  It was like underwear, but not.  Like a pad or really thick granny panties.  But not.  Like a towel wrapped around her loins.  But not.

She tried several more movements:  Walking around her room.  Sitting down. Standing up. Laying down. Lifting her legs to the ceiling so she could grasp at her ankles. Even a bit of crawling.  Her mind was marveling with every miniscule movement.  So much different than her big girl panties.  Other than the split second when they were pulled on, her panties felt like a second skin.  The diaper she wore both clung to her but never quite felt like a part of her like panties did; much in the same way that a pillow never quite felt like it was part of the bed.  “So this is what it feels like...”

It was a familiar feeling.  The ghost of a memory.  Far away, but pleasant enough in how it felt.

Speaking of feeling, a new sensation, one from the inside was starting to creep up on Lynn.  How long had it been since she’d peed?  Reflexively, Lynn stood up and went to turn the knob on her bedroom door.  She froze and looked down at herself.  She couldn’t go out looking like this!  Mom would be home any second!

She supposed she could just take the diaper off, go to the potty, then come back and tape it back on.  That’s what velcro tabs were for.  But was it what diapers were for?  Did her charges (besides Bradley) really have a choice when it came to using their diapers?

If she really wanted to know how they felt…

Lynn stared at herself in the mirror, looking and feeling ridiculous.  She tried to force it, tried to somehow push and relax her bladder at the same time, but to no avail.  She’d been too well potty trained.  Maybe if she sat down?  Or squatted?  Maybe laid down?

No.  Something about that didn’t feel right either.  She was thinking about it too much.  Babies; real babies, didn’t think about using their diapers.  They were too preoccupied with other thoughts.  Baby thoughts.  They didn’t think about wetting. They just wet.

Lynn turned away from her mirror and started looking for something to distract her; something to make her think of something beyond the creeping ache in her bladder.  But what? Scrambling for fresh ideas, she looked at her hands.

Her hands!

Babies sucked on their fingers!  Without further debate, Lynn plunged her fingers in her mouth and began sucking on them.  Salty at first, then bland.  Bland...but good.  It was oddly soothing actually; both her oral and kinesthetic senses were occupied; her auditory senses too if she sucked and slurped hard enough.

Lynn didn’t look at her reflection; that would have made it all too real in the worst way, but she did see her shadow.  The way the light cast it on the floor, how short and chubby it looked compared to the real here.  It almost looked like…

It was easy after that to just relax. For the first time since she’d learned to use a toilet, Lynn wet her diaper.  Her hands and tongue and ears and eyes all occupied; gently overwhelming her self-consciousness, Lynn just relaxed her bladder; another bit of sensory stimulation just thrown on the pile.

She barely noticed the warm wetness blossoming between her legs, or how her bladder sang out with relief in equal measure with the spreading squishiness.  She just kept slurping on her fingers and marveling at the myriad of old-is-new sensations filling her brain.

The warm wetness in her diaper (and it was hers now) persisted long after her bladder had given out, and Lynn finally took the time to take her fingers out of her mouth and look down at herself.  She’d done it!  She’d actually done it!  She’d had an accident!  

No. Not quite right.  Babies didn’t have accidents in their diapers.  It’s what their diapers were for.  She’d had a supposed-to!  Cautiously she felt long the inside of her thigh.  Not a trace of wetness; the absorbent core and leakguards had more than done their job, and the firm grip of the velcro had held the diaper securely to her waist, even if it did sag a bit at the bottom.

The babysitter looked up from herself and to the mirror. Oh god.  She really did look just like a baby!  Fingers and lips dripping with saliva, and with a wet diaper.  It wasn’t even that wet.  A less experienced caregiver might not even know Lynn needed changing.  A more experienced (or more jaded) sitter might recognize that she was wet at a glance but decide that Lynn didn’t need changing quite yet; even if being allowed to play in a wet diaper might inhibit her future potty training.

And no wonder all the blogs said this kind of thing might inhibit potty training.  Of course, Lynn had had accidents before.  All kids have accidents.  One of the young lady’s earliest memories was of her accidentally peeing her pants.  The shock, the feeling of wetness eerily trickling down her legs, the forming puddle at her feet. The cold wind bringing a dreadful chill within seconds to everything touched.  Just the absolute feeling of physical insecurity.  It was awful!  

Combine that with the teasing and taunting from the other kids in her Kindergarten class.  It was enough to give a girl a complex!

This though?  It was nice.  Everything was contained.  Everything was neat.  Easy to clean.  It somehow felt cleaner too.  Or if not cleaner, then just more right.  More secure.  

“One more test,” Lynn whispered to herself.  With trembling knees Lynn sat back down on her bed.  And smiled.  It was a little like sitting on a wet bench after a rainstorm, but better.  Even at room temperature the diaper still had some warmth.  Even fully absorbed, there was still a bit of pleasant wetness to her skin.   It was kind of like a sponge bath, she imagined.  A nice warm sponge bath caressing her.

She stood up and felt herself all over.  Wet on the inside, but completely dry on the outside.  And if she were a real baby, the actual sponge bath would happen later.  What else could a diaper change be described as then a type of bath?  A bath where nice cool moist towelettes cleaned you up, and then powder was added to keep you feeling dry and smelling nice.  And then a nice new diaper would be put on you and taped up, all while the person cooed and sang to you; talked to you and told you it was going to be okay.  

And all Lynn would have to do is lay down and let it happen.

Oh God! If she wasn’t careful, Lynn would make her diaper wet in more ways than one.  

But what would be wrong with that?  Squishing lightly she rolled over and crawled to the foot of her bed.  “Pacifier,” she whispered to the closed diaper bag.  “One that I can suck on.”

The diaper bag did not disappoint.  The pink pacifier was out of her bag and in her mouth in a flash, with Lynn crawling back over to her bed so she could set her head to the pillow.  

Carefully, slowly at first, Lynn started to rub the outside of her diaper.  She felt the squish, both within and without while she rubbed herself.  Her eyes popped open just as she planted her feet on the mattress

This...this was too real.  Was she masturbating?  In a diaper?  Just suck.  Suck on the pacifier.  Babies didn’t think.  They just acted.  

So she sucked.   Suck. Suck. Suck.  The rubber nipple felt good between her lips.  The slight resistance that the shield gave only made her want to pucker her lips more.  In a way it was like a kiss; her lips working gently with the rubber.

A low moan could be heard from without, mumbling from behind the pacifier, as her hands started to busy themselves.  Such good feelings.  Such squishy, wonderful, pleasant, natural feelings.

She’d read that it was natural for kids to play with themselves at a young age.  It was just parents freaking out that stopped them and broke them of the habit.  But Lynn had no Mommy here.  So like a good baby...like a naughty baby...she played with herself.

Suck. Suck. Suck.

Suck...and buck.  Suck...and buck.

Faster….slower...faster...slower...Lynn tried her best to tease it out, to picture herself in a crib wit ha wet diaper; a wet diaper...but not one that needed changing.  Nope nope nope.  Not this baby girl.

Faster...faster...faster...her hands developed a mind of their own.  As much as her mind wanted to make this last longer, her body was building up steam and losing patience.  She thrust her hips, instinctually, rubbing herself through the wet padding, pressing herself again and again and again

Until…

“MMMMMMMMMMPH!”  Lynn’s orgasmic scream had been muffled- pacified- by the rubber teat and plastic shield guard in her mouth. The fantasy in her head gave way to post coital darkness.  Time to stop fantasizing.  Time to dream. Her limbs feeling heavy, and her skin warm and glowing, Lynn GIlligan passed out