Malice Aforethought

Chapter 4
Self-Restraint

The boys’ room was a mess of spilled toys, discarded blankies and stuffed animals and clothes. I nearly fell over when I stepped on a Tickle Me Elmo that launched into a recorded greeting. But I found the dresser and looked through the top drawers, picking out the least offensive outfit I could. It was tough because there were so many things here that were my dream to wear. If this had been a normal playdate this would have been a treasure trove of outfits. I even opened the lower drawers and shuddered with longing at the corduroys, the shortalls, the fuzzy blue onesie jammies.

I changed quickly, in case the boys came back. The last thing I wanted was for them to see me naked. First I switched out my smart navy polo shirt for a red t-shirt adorned with a cartoon character dribbling a basketball. Next I pulled on the underoos. These tighty whities had thick red piping and were decorated with Spiderman decals. Oddly though, the inside was made of different material. It was soft, fluffy flannel that felt just delightful against my still erect penis. In my head I repeated over and over that this wasn’t Parkdale, this was Johannesburg and the undies were just made of normal soft materials. Then I slipped on some orange board shorts, annoyed they fell well below my knees, a style reserved for very young boys these days, but resigned to putting up with it. There were only a few hours until sunset. I could do this. I had to.

With each step I felt the soft material of the underoos rub against my stiffy. This was going to be harder than I thought. No wonder she called them special undies. Why couldn’t I shake the feeling that there was some drug in the material that I was absorbing right now, something to wipe my mind of all my intelligence? Unfortunately thoughts like that only made my stiffy get harder. This did not bode well at all.

Elly was naturally delighted at my new attire. She looked me up and down and declared that I was a very handsome little boy. I could have retaliated, but it would have been futile. I was stuck playing her game for now, but soon the tables would be turned.

“The boys have gone out back to play,” she informed me.

That explained the empty living room. “You want me to join them,” I said.

“Yes, of course. And please, try to have fun. You won’t have another opportunity like this so enjoy it.”

Enjoy it, yeah right. I frowned and headed out the sliding glass door onto her deck. A medium-sized backyard was surrounded by two metre walls and electric fencing. It was like a prison yard, but without the guard tower and filled with children’s toys. The two jaybirds were playing in a sandpit next to a swings and slide play set. Benny had a Tonka bulldozer he was pushing through the sand and Eric was simply sitting on his butt scooping sand into his hands and letting it escape between his fingers. Timmy was climbing on the slide, not interested in what the ‘littler’ boys were doing.

I made my way over to the sand pit, taking the opportunity to engage with the boys a bit more. It seemed silly even to me to be walking through the grass and into sand with my socks on but I couldn’t escape the niggling fear that the carpet or the sand were somehow tainted and would lead to mental deterioration. So I sat on the edge of the sandbox and watched as the two young men paused their play to look up at me. They barely even gave me a glance though. I was just some grown-up, nothing to pay attention to. So I knelt closer to Eric and said, “Hey buddy, what you doing there?”

He looked up at me, his eyes trusting and innocent now. “Got thand,” he told me simply.

“Yeah, I see that. You like playing in the sand?”

He nodded wordlessly.

“That’s nice. It’s fun to play isn’t it?”

Another nod and a little smile.

“I like playing too. But my favourite game is driving my car. Have you ever done that? Ever drive a car?”

He shakes his head now, smiling even wider. “Das siwwy!” he declares.

“Silly? Why is that silly?” I ask, keeping my tone light and happy, smiling back at him.

“Too widdle!” he shouts, as if I’m the one being stupid.

“But you don’t look that little to me,” I pointed out. “Look you’re even taller and bigger than your mummy.”

Eric looked down at his body in confusion. Had I broken through? Made him begin to see through whatever spell she’d put on him?

He shook his head again. “Me tall. Mummy big,” he tried to explain.

I understood all too well. Eric didn’t see the word ‘big’ as related to size. It meant intelligent and responsible. Little meant dumb and dependent. So Elly was big and he was little.

“But I thought you used to be big?” I said with mock surprise. “When did you get all little?”

Eric looked even more confused now. After a moment he said, “Not get widdle. Boys get biggah.”

It was clear he had no memory of a time when he was an adult. To him this was all perfectly normal. There was no point bothering with Benny as he had surely been in this diminished mental state even longer.

“Okay buddy, have fun playing,” I said, standing back up. As I did so my penis rubbed hard against the soft, lovely fabric of the underoos. I’d grown an even bigger erection talking to Eric, hearing his simple responses, seeing just how far he’d fallen. I needed to be careful, I was getting too close to the point of no return. I couldn’t risk blowing it now, literally.

Timmy was sitting in one of the swings, his bare legs wagging back and forth, soles of his feet brushing through the short grass as he sang some meaningless song to himself. I dropped into the other swing and gave him a smile. “You mind if I play too?” I asked.

He shrugged and said, “S’okay.”

“So you just got here yesterday?” I asked.

“Uh-huh.”

He looked pretty out of it, so I decided not to waste any time. “How come you came? Did Elly make you?”

“Who’s Elly?” he asked.

“The blonde lady, the once taking care of you.”

“Oh… but she’s mummy,” he replied, sounding confused.

I didn’t want him getting side-tracked, we could deal with identities later. “Whatever, her name isn’t important. Did she threaten you? Did she make you come here to play?”

Timmy blinked and seemed to be using his head for the first time since I’d laid eyes on him. After a long, painful pause he gave me a hesitant nod. “She... she had photos,” he stammered.

“You gave them to Eric, right? And she threatened to out you.”

He nodded, the look of innocence and playfulness gone. “My family’s religious, they wouldn’t understand.”

“You’re American?”

He shook his head. “Canadian.”

“Sorry, hard to tell the accents apart.”

“It’s fine. I just… oh I…” he trailed off as he seemed to notice what he was wearing for the first time, the lack of any pants, the cartoon underoos. I could see the redness growing in his cheeks, the shame showing as his body language changed.

“It’s okay, you’re still better off than them,” I assured him, gesturing to the nude men still romping happily in the sandbox.

His embarrassment didn’t seem to abate though. “I dunno what I was thinkin’. Mummy… Elly, she made me wear these special undies and I was so… y’know, happy, in them. Things just got out of hand so fast.”

“So it was the undies that did it?” I asked, growing worried as I was now in them too and there was nobody here to snap me out of it the way I was doing for Timmy.

He shrugged. “I… I really don’t know. It’s all kinda foggy n’ stuff. I still feel sorta out of it, like my head’s all cottony.”

“What about your shoes? Did she make you take them off?”

“No… um, maybe. I think I wanted them off after a bit. I think she said I’d be more comfy that way and I was. Mummy was right cuz it is better bein’ barefooted. Boys is s’posed to go barefooted” he added, his voice brightening a bit.

“Timmy, you know she isn’t really your mummy right?”

The glassiness faded from his eyes again and he blushed. “Oh yeah… I know that. I just feel confused y’know.”

His grip on reality seemed tenuous at best. I could see it wouldn’t take much to send him back to la-la land. Without my help he’d probably be skipping around the yard bare bottomed himself by tomorrow. Unfortunately he hadn’t really given me a clear answer about what had started his decline. “I get it buddy. Just try to stay focussed, keep repeating who you really are in your head.”

He nodded but didn’t look that confident. I had other suggestions but Elly’s voice calling for us to come for a snack cut me off. The younger boys raced straight up to the deck to collect their ice blocks. Timmy’s eyes seemed a bit too wide and eager at the sight of them as well. He walked to the deck and accepted his without much fuss, but as he struggled to open the wrapper he began to pout.

“You okay sugar?” Elly cooed.

“It’s hard to open,” he complained.

“Oh, let mummy get that for you then,” she said, reaching out for it.

But Timmy pulled it away sharply. “Is not supposed to be tricky! I’m a big boy. Not s’posed to be dumb like them!” he shouted.

Benny and Eric stared wide eyed at this display as they sat on their bums on the deck. Benny looked angry at the slight but Eric just looked interested, unable to fully comprehend what Timmy was saying. Elly seemed a bit surprised by the reaction for a second then she regrouped and changed tactics. “I think you’ve been talking to a naughty boy who wants to get you in trouble,” she said, looking over at me.

Timmy followed her gaze and seemed desperate to explain. “No, he not naughty. You made me dumb, you…”

“That’s a very mean tone to take with mummy,” she cut him off. “If you were really a big boy we could have a nice talk about what’s wrong, but if you’re going to yell like a silly little toddler having a tantrum you can just go straight to the naughty corner and be by yourself till you calm down.”

The muscular man looked absolutely distraught by the threat of the naughty corner. “No! I not a dumb baby! This your fault,” he insisted, looking like he might actually throw a tantrum now.

“Mummy isn’t going to listen to silly naughty babies who yell. And silly babies don’t get big boy toys like Tony Truck.”

Now Timmy’s face drained of colour and he began to actually tear up. “I’m not a dumb baby!” he yelled.

Elly shrugged. “I really don’t know Timmy. If you’re too little to talk things out then maybe you’re too little for a big boy thing like Tony Truck. You might need to play with silly rings or blocks like Eric.”

Timmy shook his head. “No, I big boy mummy! I c’n play with Tony!”

“Are you sure? You won’t go putting him in your mouth like silly little Eric?”

“No mummy! I good, I take care of my toys,” Timmy promised.

“Well, okay then. But you be a good boy and share with your little brothers if they want to play too.”

“I will. But they’re just babies so they won’ wanna play with Tony,” he sneered.

Elly stepped briefly into the house and returned seconds later with a brightly coloured plastic toy truck with a smiling face on the grill. It was obviously a toy for a pre-schooler but Timmy looked overjoyed as she slipped it into his hands. Timmy beamed and dropped instantly to his hands and knees, pushing his toy around the wooden boards. It was only a few moments before he stopped and rested back on his haunches, pressing both his hands into his crotch and beginning to stroke.

“Oh my god,” I whispered, stunned both by his quick reversion to pre-schooler behaviour and his obvious decision to pleasure himself in front of everyone.

Elly stepped closer to me, leaning over so she could whisper in my ear. “This is always a fun part to watch,” Elly told me. “As soon as he got down there playing with his little toy he’s realised just how little and dumb he’s become. But without a naughty boy to chastise him about it, instead of getting angry it’s triggered something else inside him. He’s so horny he can’t help but play with himself.”

“There’s something on the toy isn’t there?” I demanded. “Something to make him change so suddenly.”

She just shrugged again, leaving me to wonder. Timmy’s breathing was growing deeper, louder, he was thrusting more quickly. Eric and Benny were facing him, getting the full show. They didn’t seem to mind. Benny was sucking his thumb, entranced by the muscular man’s actions. Eric seemed to think it was funny. He grinned and toyed with his own flaccid penis in imitation.

“You could join him you know,” Elly whispered to me.

“What!?”

“It would be a wonderful bonding experience, making your stickies together, side-by-side. Benny and Eric do it often. You know how boys like to copy each other. Just think of the wonderful release it would bring you, to give in that way, to know your place was here with Timmy and to experience such lovely pleasure as it happened.”

“You’re nuts. There’s no way I’d do that,” I snapped at her, hoping she couldn’t see the stiffy tenting out my board shorts.

“Ugh…ahh….” Timmy’s grunts of pleasure ended that debate. He was done, and in more ways than one. His energy spent, he rested back onto his bottom, picking up the toy truck again… and jamming the corner into his mouth.

Elly crouched next to him and patted his hair. “Did someone make a big creamy?” she cooed. “Are there creamies in those undies?”

He let the toy escape his lips. “Done stickies!” he announced brightly.

“Oh my, can we have a look?” she asked, pulling his arm to draw him into a standing position.

Timmy nodded and I could see his face now. It had changed from just a minute or two earlier. It somehow looked more relaxed, his eyes had lost that spark of intelligence that even a young boy has. Elly patted the front of his underoos and he made no sign he found her touch embarrassing, he just looked curious himself. “Oh my, that does feel warm. Can you show us your stickies? Is that okay?” she asked him again to be sure.

Timmy nodded clearly. “Got stickies,” he said, this time telling me.

I could only nod back as Elly reached down and snaked her thumb into the elastic band of his Despicable Me underoos before yanking them down to his ankles and off his feet. He was now naked from the belly-button down. The tall, muscular young man’s penis was already going soft, it’s white gooey load plastered across his lower tummy. Timmy didn’t seem bothered by his exposure at all. He’d been pleading that he wasn’t a dumb toddler just moments ago, but now he looked down at his dangling exposed penis and grinned like an idiot, scooping up some goo on his fingers and offering it to Elly like a gift. She batted his hand away playfully and declared, “Icky! You silly messy boy.”

Timmy chuckled in delight at her insult and rocked from side to side like an impatient little tot while she inspected the damage. “Yep, you made a big creamy alright,” she finally announced.

“Awll gone,” Timmy stated.

“Yep, and since you’ve made a mess of your undies I think you might as well stay nakey like your brothers,” Elly advised.

Timmy didn’t seem upset by that at all. There were no arguments about that being for babies this time. “Nakey bum!” he cheered instead. And a minute later I saw that my earlier thought about Timmy’s weakness had underestimated Elly’s power a lot. It hadn’t taken another day after all, Timmy’s shirt lay abandoned by the sandpit and he skipped and ran and rolled about the backyard just as naked as the other boys.

Witnessing this show was hard, in more ways than one. Every step I took caressed my stiffy, but I’d seen where that led now. I had no idea what the mechanism was, only that orgasm spelled doom in this house. I spent the next two hours certain that Elly would grab my crotch at any moment and help me get a special release of my own. But that didn’t happen. Instead she simply made the boys dinner and managed to corral the three feral naked young men into the living room and get them into their seats. It wasn’t a perfectly neat dinner. All three took to standing or squatting on their seats more than actually sitting in them. They crawled around under the table, leant way across it so their unrestrained pee-pees came dangerously close to brushing against food. They mostly ate with their fingers and wore a certain amount of their meals on their faces, chests and tummies by the end. But it was about the best she could have hoped for and she dutifully and lovingly cleaned their faces and front-sides with wet naps at the end.

“You enjoy that?” she finally asked once the ‘boys’ were back down in front of the TV with a Disney movie on to distract them.

“If you mean did I cream my undies like Timmy, then no.”

Elly smirked. “You’re a tough one, I’ll give you that. From the photos and chat logs I thought you’d give me no more fight than Timmy over there. He was already watching toons and sucking his thumb by this time yesterday.”

“Is that your version of a compliment?”

“No Aiden, it’s just a statement of fact. I’m sorry that you’re so resistant. I think I could really make you happy if you let me.”

“You want to be my mummy?”

“Something like that,” she answered vaguely.

I shook my head. “You aren’t set up to deal with four big toddlers here. Hell, you’re not set up for three. I don’t know what you’re playing at here, but it ain’t running a nursery.”

She glanced out the window, at the orange and purple sky. “Well, it doesn’t really matter what I’m up to anymore does it? You’ve made it to sunset and a deal’s a deal. You’re free to go. I’ll delete the chat logs and images.”

I looked out the window, stunned that sunset had arrived already. I hadn’t even noticed it getting darker, I was so absorbed with watching the naked young men making a mess of their meal. But I’d made it. I’d survived my trial of self-control. Now, I could get the hell out of here without having to resort to my escape blanket. I thought about getting changed before leaving but I didn’t want to delay another moment in this house, with all the temptation to touch myself and end up a slobbering imbecile like the others. I had more clothes to wear in the car anyway. But there was one thing I wasn’t leaving here without.

“I need my phone back,” I said, holding out my hand. “For the GPS,” I added.

She didn’t move right away. She seemed to be considering my request. Did she know what I really wanted? No, she didn’t, because after a brief hesitation she went into her bedroom and returned a moment later with my phone. I powered it up and checked that all my Apps were still there and it was definitely my phone. Nothing seemed awry.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. I just wish you’d reconsider. Once you leave there is no coming back. You lose your only opportunity to live your fantasy,” she warned.

“I understand that,” I told her simply, and walked straight across the living room and out the door without looking back.

Back out in the air I felt better already. My erection was already lessening, but it would be much better when I got to my car and stripped off these little kid clothes. As I walked down the footpath to the driveway I pulled my phone back out. It was time to check on the evidence I’d collected on her, in case she didn’t delete her dirt on me and tried to extort me again later.

I swiped through the lock screen and thumbed the recording app. In an instant my screen was lit with the brightest collection of swirling lights. What the hell was that? Some kind of computer virus? Was it destroying all the data I’d recorded, or wiping my whole phone? For an instant I felt panic and anger. But then I felt a new sensation, a feeling of relaxation and calm. It was the swirling light. It seemed to pour into my mind through my eyes, filling me with peace and happiness. For a moment something told me I should look away. But I couldn’t. It was just too lovely to watch. And then I couldn’t recall why I’d wanted to stop watching. I could just stare into the pool of light forever. I felt like I was falling into the light and then came a sensation of intense, overpowering drowsiness followed by deep sleep.