Malice Aforethought

Chapter 6
Just Pretend

I woke up to the feeling of warm skin pressed against my own. Timmy and I had become entangled as we slept. Now we were locked in a close embrace, cheek to cheek, arms and legs interlocked. He was much bigger than me though, his powerful arms and legs seeming to envelop me, giving me a strangely arousing sense of littleness and safety. Timmy’s eyes fluttered open as well, perhaps roused by my movements.

“Mow-ning,” he chirped, planting a big wet kiss on my cheek. I instantly understood that he’d succeeded in relaxing completely like Eric, becoming truly little. I felt so happy for him and I felt something else, growing arousal.

Timmy was already aroused himself. Our pee-pees were pushed together in this position and his was brushing against mine through our identical sets of special undies. Slowly I felt Timmy begin to grind back and forth. It brought instant pleasure. This wasn’t something good boys did, was it? No this was naughty, but it also felt so nice, so right. I began to rub mine back and forth too, doubling the nice feelings. Timmy smiled and giggled. He was enjoying it too. In the back of my mind there was a niggling concern that this was all wrong, that I didn’t do this with other boys, and that stickies were bad, very bad. But the sensations of pleasure were too powerful. We embraced tighter, humping our crotches together, a tangle of flesh. And then a glorious rush was accompanied by the feeling of warm goo filling my undies. Moments later warmth spread from another angle as Timmy creamed his underoos as well.

As the pleasure abated I felt undeniably less focussed, like some empty space had opened up in my head and some important things had gone away to create that opening. But that wasn’t really worrying, it felt nice, like it was natural and nothing to be worried about. That niggling little discomfort in the back of my mind was completely gone now. After all I’d come here to play and relax, right?

Timmy climbed out of bed and, discovering Benny and Eric were already up and out of the bedroom, hurried off to find his playmates. I didn’t like being left alone either though. Being alone felt wrong, even a little scary. I climbed out of the bed myself, feeling the lovely soft carpet under my toes again. There’s a brief instant where I look at the dresser and wonder what clothes I should wear today. But that thought is quickly replaced by the thought of seeing the other boys and getting breakfast. I hurry out of the room in my undies.

I can hear the other boys down the hallway. I find them all in the kitchen. Timmy’s Superman underoos are lying abandoned on the floor. He must have discarded them when he saw Benny and Eric had already abandoned whatever jammies they’d had. All three young men were now nakey again. Benny was showing off his skill at climbing the entryway to the living room, reaching up to touch the ceiling. Timmy hopped up and down so he could touch the ceiling too, his pee-pee flapping wildly, his heavy feet pounding the floor. Eric just sat on his bottom watching them, nibbling idly on the tips of his toes and giggling at their adventures. I looked over their bare bodies, the dangling genitalia and then down at the Ninja Turtles adorning my crotch, hiding my private parts. Should I take off my undies too? It didn’t feel right to be the only boy worried about hiding my privates while they clearly hadn’t even a concept of privacy. What did that kind of freedom feel like?

“You okay there sweetie?”

Mummy interrupted my thoughts. She looked so pretty this morning. For some reason just thinking of her name, Mummy, made me feel radiantly happy. Maybe I should ask her if I can take off my undies too. She’d know if it was okay, even though I’m clearly a much bigger boy than the others. They’re all just silly toddlers now, even Timmy. But I don’t ask her. I don’t need to ask because I know it’s a stupid question. I’m a big boy, not a dumb toddler. I really shouldn’t even be running around with my undies showing. But then no one would get to see my ninja turtles. What’s the point of putting them on big boy undies if no one gets to see them? So no, that must be okay at least. But nakey is a no-no, that’s for stupid babies only.

“I’m okay mummy,” I tell her instead. “Wan’ my breakfast.”

She smiled warmly at me. “Of course, my big boy needs a full tummy. We’ve got a busy day.”

I take the seat she’s pulled out for me at the table. “What we doin’ today mummy?” I ask her, curious.

“Oh lots of fun things sweetie. Things to help you relax more and be a good boy.”

That’s right, I was supposed to be relaxing, playing with Eric and the others. I felt much clearer about that now.

“Did you make some stickies for me this morning honey?” mummy asked as she beat some eggs in a silver bowl.

“Uh-huh!” I chirped instantly. I hadn’t even thought about holding such info back as private. My response had been instinctive.

“Good boy! I saw that Timmy’s big boy undies got all creamy and I was hoping you’d had a fun morning as well.”

Her praise made me feel even better about what we’d done. It had felt naughty before but it couldn’t be or mummy wouldn’t be so happy. “My undies creamy too,” I told her.

“Oh really? Would you like to show me?” she asked, pausing her cooking.

But now I shook my head. “Too big for that mummy,” I reminded her.

“Oh of course,” she replied, going back to cooking.

I wasn’t a dumb toddler and mummy knew that. In fact I wasn’t really even a boy at all, that was just pretend. I was really a big grown-up man. How weird that I’d almost forgotten that for a second there. But mummy knew that, so there was no need to tell her. It was fun to pretend I was just a boy and mummy was so nice for letting me.

Breakfast was especially yummy. I used my fork and knife cuz I’m big and I only got a little syrup on my chin and a few drops on my chest and tummy. The other boys got real messy using their fingers and mummy had to clean them up afterwards. I could tell it was hard on her having to deal with four boys and I felt naughty for pretending so much. “I can help with that,” I offered, standing up as she tried to clean Eric’s face while he squirmed and whined.

“No Aiden, mummy has this. You be a good boy and sit for me,” she directed.

“But mummy I can help,” I insisted.

“No Aiden, that’s not your job. If you want to help mummy you can sit on your bum and play with your brothers,” she ordered.

I didn’t like being told I couldn’t help, but mummy wanted me to pretend better, so I went over to where Timmy and Benny were playing on the floor and sat on my bum with them. Mummy had already cleaned their faces and now they were occupied with some matchbox cars. Benny reached out and offered me one when I sat. He was a nice boy. I took it with a nod. The toy was a bit sticky from his syrupy fingers but I didn’t mind. It had flames on the sides and looked real cool.

I barely even noticed when Eric joined us. My car was so cool. I imagined it was in a cool chase movie and the cops were after the bank robbers who’d taken the car. It raced through the streets, sliding around bends in a cloud of smoke. Bang-bang, the robbers shot out the windows at the police, but they couldn’t shake them. It could only end in a massive crash. I gave the robber car a fantastic shove and watched it skitter across the tile floor and right into a couple of Timmy’s cars.

“Don’t!” Timmy snapped, an angry expression suddenly on his face. He grabbed up my car and held it tight.

I didn’t like being told off. I extended my open hand. “Give it back,” I demanded.

He shook his head. “Mine!” he declared.

My temper flared instantly. That wasn’t his! I’d been playing with it. “No! Dat’s mine! Give it!” I roared back.

Timmy clapped it tight between both his hands. He wasn’t gonna play fair. He was just a stupid little baby, sitting there with his pee-pee dangling all free cuz he didn’t even wear undies. The stupid baby didn’t deserve any big boy toys. He’d probably put my cool robber car in his mouth and ruin it, just like Eric was gnawing on a yellow toy school bus right now. I reached out and grabbed one of his toys and smiled defiantly.

Timmy pouted, his lips quivering. I could tell he was on the verge of tears. Good, he deserved it, stupid cry-baby.

“What’s going on here?”

Mummy was standing above us, drying off her hands with a tea towel. She didn’t look happy with our spat. I quickly pointed to Timmy. “He took my car,” I explained.

“Mine!” Timmy screeched in response, tears now freely running down his cheeks.

“Aiden took his,” Benny interjected, pointing at me.

I felt betrayed. Benny had been nice before, but now he was taking Timmy’s side. It made me so mad I wanted to bite him, or yank his hair. But before I could, mummy said, “Okay, that’s enough of that. Both you boys are in time out.”

I couldn’t get over how big mummy looked when she was standing and I was on the floor. Now that she was all angry and punishing me, she seemed bigger still. I didn’t want a time out, like a stupid little kid. That wasn’t fun pretend.

“You can’t!” I insisted.

Mummy looked really angry now. “I most certainly can. If you can’t play nice with your brothers then you’ll spend some time alone.”

It was so unfair! This was all his fault. But I couldn’t come up with the words to explain that. I couldn’t make myself calm down and rationally discuss it with her. Something told me that’s what I should do, but the emotions were just way too strong and the words too hard to think of. “Dat’s not fair! I big!” I yelled instead.

Mummy had my hand tightly in her grasp a second later, yanking me to a standing position. “When you act big, you’ll be treated that way. Right now you’re being a selfish little boy and you’ll go to time out.”

I had to fight hard not to burst out crying right there. As it was I could feel a few tears escaping down my cheeks and I turned away so the other boys wouldn’t see. Mummy led me out of the kitchen and into a corner of the living room. “Right now you’re acting like a four year old. So you’re going to spend four minutes right here. And you think about what you did to little Timmy.”

“But he took it!” I blurted out between sobs.

“I don’t care. He’s much littler than you are. You know that. He doesn’t know any better and you should have been looking out for him.”

Mummy left me alone facing the corner. I couldn’t remember a time when I was more humiliated. I didn’t want to pretend I was little anymore. I wanted to be in charge again, not stupid mummy. I was at least glad to see her forcing Timmy into the opposite corner. It was funny watching her drag him along as he cried his eyes out, since he was so much taller and wider than her. But he still let her stand him there and he stayed after she left, howling at first, then slowly calming down and just sniffling.

I tried counting the seconds so I knew how long I’d been waiting, but I kept getting tripped up after I passed ten. After three tries I began to get really concerned. Surely that wasn’t normal for a big person like I really was. Even big boys should be able to count higher than that, right? It seemed like forever before mummy came back over and put her hand on my bare shoulder, reminding me that in addition to forgetting my numbers I’d been walking around in just my undies all morning.

“You feeling calmer now?” she asked.

I nodded. I wasn’t feeling angry anymore, just scared. “Mummy, I can’t count right,” I told her, unable to contain my panic.

“Oh sweetie, that’s okay. You don’t need to be doing any tricky maths while you’re here anyway.”

I was so glad she was here now. Just her voice seemed to calm my worries a bit. “But what about after?” I asked. “I shouldn’t be forgetting numbers mummy,” I explained.

But she didn’t look worried at all and that made me feel better too. “Don’t you worry your little head about that darling,” she assured. “You’re just doing a very good job at relaxing and pretending. Why don’t you just let mummy do all the thinking for a bit? You’ll have much more fun that way.”

“Just while I pretend,” I insisted.

“Of course honey, just for now.”

Mummy let me cuddle close then, resting my head on her shoulder. That made me feel so much better, knowing she’d keep me safe for now while I had my fun. There was only one other thing that was worrying me. “Mummy I don’t got clothes on,” I whispered, feeling awkward about it now.

“What do you mean honey? You’ve got your special big boy undies on remember? You aren’t all nakey like your little brothers, right?”

She was right about that. The thought of her seeing my pee-pee jiggling around like theirs made me shudder. “Yes mummy,” I whispered back.

“Of course not. But we need to be getting you and your brothers dressed in any case. It’s little one’s story time at the library in an hour.”

We were going outside? That wasn’t something I normally did when I pretended I was little. But mummy said we were getting dressed, so I wouldn’t be going out in my undies. Of course not, what a silly thought to even have. I just needed to dress like a proper big boy again. Yeah, this would be okay.