College or Cribs

Chapter 13
Just Go With It

Chapter Description: Chris just let's it all go and enjoys being a baby...for a time.

College or Cribs: Chapter 13- Just Go With It.

Chris pouted with his arms crossed in his high chair. Breast feeding, intimate diaper changes with Sherry, you name it; his little sisters interrupted him. Even when they were his big sisters they were a pain. He wasn’t even technically trying to get laid and they were still cock blocking him at every turn.

Roxanne was busy mixing up some kind of bland baby mush in the kitchen. She reached into the fridge and squirted a large baby bottle into the concoction before mashing it up some more. From his perch, Chris could see Bri loading up the DVR and looking guiltily over her shoulder every few seconds.

“Bri?” Roxanne called out.

“Whaaaaaaat?” Brianna growled back.

“What was that, young lady?” Roxanne countered, a slight edge in her voice.

“I mean…yes ma’am?” came Bri’s reply in her normal voice. (For once.)

“Are you watching that cartoon show that you know I don’t approve of?” Roxanne was giving her daughter an out. Despite his grievances with the little brat, Chris was hoping Bri had the good judgment to use it.

“Umm….not….yet?” Bri answered with a hint of hope on her lips.

“No.” Roxanne said as she brought the bowl of mush and sat it on the tray in front of her (for now) youngest child. Chris eyeballed the stuff. He swore he saw it burble. And the serving size was waaaaay too big for a real baby. For Chris though? Maybe.

“But…but…but,” Brianna stuttered, trying to think of a rebuttal.

“If you want to watch some cartoons,” Roxanne offered as she scooped the first plastic spoonful of the brown mush, dripping with what must have been baby formula, “your father DVR’d some old Looney Toons like Bugs Bunny.” She turned to face Chris. “Here comes the choo-choo, train, Chris. Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga.” Chris crossed his arms and closed his lips tight as the spoon chugged alolong towards his mouth. He was still fuming from earlier. Besides, he was a baby right now, and he had the right to be fussy.

“Oh come on Chrissy,” Roxanne coaxed. “Please don’t do this now. You’ve gotta eat so you’ll grow up to be big and strong like your daddy.” Chris wasn’t buying it. He shook his head firmly. Nuh. Uh. “Just one little bite, for mommy? Pleeeeease….” Chris pouted his lips and slammed his teeth together. Nope. Roxanne cocked an eyebrow in thought. “I knooow what my big boy wants!” she declared. “Heeeere comes the air-plane! Yeeeeeeeoooooow….buzzzzzz…buzzzzzz!” Roxanne changed her imaginary track into an imaginary flight path...or maybe it was more of a dog fight the way she zipped and scooped down into the air only to pull up before crashing. Roxanne covered her mouth with her free hand and pinched her nose to give the genuine com-link sound. “Open up the hangar! Open up the hangar! Mayday! Mayday! We’re coming in for an emergency landing.”

While it was genuinely amusing watching his step-mother debase herself for his dining pleasure, Chris chose not to even crack a smile. He bit down on his tongue to better steel his resolve. Roxanne was an old pro at this and she’d take even the slightest opening. He couldn’t really control what he was dressed in, when he relieved himself, who changed him, or even when he was alone…but whether or not he ate was still one of the few freedoms he had in this form. And by golly, he was going to exercise that minute bit of power. Why? Cuz! That’s why! Then, like always, Bri ruined things.

“Hey mom,” Bri called out from the family room.

Roxanned sighed, “Yes dear?” she called back.

“What’s Bugs Bunny?”

Chris’s eyes widened in incredulous disbelief. “WHAAAAAAAAAA-?”

WOOMF!

The opening was all that Mommy needed…. Roxanne!.... all Roxanne needed and the gooey brown mush forced its way into his mouth. Chris swallowed more than by instinct. He grimaced. It was bland. It was mushy and gooey. It was….honestly not that bad. It was kind of like plain Cheerios soaked in sweet milk, and then the excess milk was drained out leaving the soggy. So yeah…kind of like a bowl of cereal with the wheat to milk ratio thrown off and reversed.

He opened up his mouth and said “Aaaaaah” to get some more. Roxanne looked positively relieved.

“There’s my good little eater!” his step-mother beamed as she dipped the spoon back into the bowl, getting another load of the baby cereal. She eased it towards Chris’s lips. Then, just as it was about to cross the threshold of his mouth, Chris clamped down, tight. He re-crossed his arms and shook his head. Nuh-uh. If she wasn’t going to at least put in the effort of making an airplane, then he wasn’t going to give in. He still had principles. Roxanne deflated and puffed a piece of stray hair out of her face.

Just then, Sammy walked into the kitchen wearing a long and baggy tie-dye shirt and jean shorts. If it hadn’t been for the very end of the short’s leggings poking out, Chris might have been worried that his fifth grade sister wasn’t wearing any pants at all. Ignoring the fact that he was actually showing more leg than she was, with the edges of his undergarment peeking out of the leg holes to boot, Chris suddenly felt very conservative and protective of his tween-aged sister. Kids these days! They were dressing more and more like adults all the time….present scenario exempted.

She better not be dressing like that in middle school, or she might get suspended for dress code violation. Or worse yet, some boys thinking they’re men might show some poor judgment and Chris might have to come down from college to put the fear of God in them. Nobody put the moves on his little sister, she was still just a kid and she’d always be his little oh for God sakes even in a diaper he was turning into his father.

“Hey Sammy,” Bri called out. “You just missed it. Mom was like ‘You can watch Bugs Bunny’ and I was like ‘What’s Bugs Bunny’ and then Chris was like ‘Say WHAAAAAAT?’ You should’ve been here, it was really funny!” Bri let out a few giggles reliving the memories. Maybe some things were universal (like shock and surprise), and some things weren’t, (like knowledge of classic cartoons.)

“Oh…” Sammy remarked. “What is Bugs Bunny?”

“SERIOUSL-?!” Chris started to

WOOMF

“Thank you Samantha!” Roxanne acknowledged her eldest daughter, while Chris swallowed down another spoonful of the…stuff.

“Welcome,” Sammy piped in, “Hey, how does Chris know about Bugs Bunny anyways? He’s not even a year old yet.”

Chris swallowed hard. Things were coming apart, and fast.

“Oh,” Roxanne explained, “when Chris was first born and not sleeping through the night, your father would stay up with him and watch old Bugs Bunny cartoons till he went to sleep. Some of it must have sunk in. That,” she added, “and I sometimes let him watch Baby Looney Toons when I bounce him on my knee in the afternoon. I think he even has Baby Bugs on some of his jammies.”

…..saved!.....

“Seriously though,” Bri interjected, walking into the kitchen. “Who is Bugs Bunny?”

“YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN’-!”

WOOMF! Damn, but she was good at this! If Chris didn’t stop this, it might get to be a habit.

“Hey, Mom?” Sammy asked as she walked over to the fridge and opened it, “Where’s dad?”

“He’s at work, at the hospital, honey,” Roxanne said as she scooped up another spoonful of baby mush. She began doing the airplane dip while quietly making the sound effects. Chris gratefully opened his mouth and let the plane land in the hanger.

“Then why’s his car still out in the garage?” Sammy asked. Roxanne paused.

“I don’t…know….,” Roxanne said with a slight frown. “Maybe he carpooled to work,” she said. “He does that sometimes.” But it didn’t sound as if she quite believed it. For her part, Sammy took it at face value and grabbed a peculiarly large baby bottle out of the refrigerator. She turned it over in her hands.

“Hey Mom, we’re out of milk,” she told Roxanne. “Can I borrow some milk from Chris’s baby bottle?”

“I wouldn’t,” Roxanne warned.

“Why not?”

“That’s not cow milk.”

Brianna was attacked by a fit of the giggles as the realization that Sammy was holding their mother’s breast milk in her hand. Sammy’s face went blank and her mouth twisted to the side. Gingerly, she placed the bottle of milk back into the fridge and scooted it back with her index finger as if she were prodding something unclean.

“You still want some of that milk?” her mother asked, a sly grin on her face.

“No thank you.” Sammy answered woodenly, “I do not. I shall instead partake of jelly and toast.”

Chris too, was overcome with laughter at the expression on Samantha’s face. Priceless. Just Priceless.

WOOMF!

“Alright,” gulp “enough!” Chris snapped at his step-mother. “I’ll eat! I’ll eat! Just stop that, please! But” he gave her the big puppy dog eyes, hoping she understood him, “would you mind doing the airplane thing at least?” He carefully moved his arms in the same swooping motions she had done earlier.

“Awww,” Roxanne giggled at the sight of her babified charge. “Does Chris wanna pway more airplane?”

Chris nodded meekly. He looked at his sisters, the two little girls who at one point at least, thought of him as the epitome of cool. “Yes pwease.” he nodded, “err..I mean please….aw fuck it…pwease.”

“I think that means yes,” Brianna helpfully concluded. Roxanne nodded her agreement and began doing the elaborate dance of the spoonplane, to which Chris waited with mouth open. Just for fun he closed his eyes and let the rest of his senses take over.

He was aware of how comfy and padded the high chair really was. It was kind of like a broken in recliner with a tray in place really. The onesie, though a little snug, did not feel confining and was decidedly comfy. His nose tickled slightly at the smell of his own fresh diaper wafting up to him. He really was baby fresh. It was pleasant to say the least, and every time he wiggled or shifted his weight, he was acutely aware of the crinkle and padding beneath his bottom.

And while his tongue did not necessarily dance with each spoonful, there was a hint of the sweet, sweet nectar he had been wrongfully deprived of in every bite. It wasn’t the same as straight from the tap, but it did serve to at least sate his appetite and his lust?...not quite…craving…for the time being. Kind of like a nicotine patch…or perhaps even more appropriately, methadone.

Just to show he was paying attention. He made sure to open his eyes every few spoon fulls or when Roxanne failed to do the appropriate number of theatric sound effects.

“Why do you have bottles of…of..breast milk” Sammy finally spat out, “in the fridge?” She crunched into some crispy toast with purple jelly as if to get the imaginary taste of mother’s milk from her mouth. Girl had no clue what she was missing out on.

“Because breast milk is good for babies and I don’t always have the time or convenience to breast feed him.” Roxanne answered matter-of-factly as she scraped the last of the baby cereal from the plastic bowl.

“Yeah,” Sammy countered, “but you have like 3 or 5 of them easily in there. Why so many?”

“I’ve got at least half a dozen bottles in the fridge,” Roxanne corrected Samantha, “and maybe I wouldn’t need to fill so many if Chris didn’t have two big sisters who kept on interrupting us first thing in the morning when I’m getting Chris up.”

“Whu-oh!” Bri said in a cartoony, nasally, falsetto before scampering out of the kitchen. A “not so fast” was all that it took for Bri to come shuffling back in. Sammy at least had the decency to look sheepish.

“Sorry, Mom,” the girls said in unison, eyes downcast.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” Roxanne lectured. “Chris is the one whose breakfast you’ve been interrupting for the last half week or so. He might be a baby, but he’s still a person, and has feelings and he’s your little brother besides.”

Holy crap!! Roxanne was on his side of an argument for once? How often did that happen? Growing up, Chris had been bombarded with speech after speech about being a good example and taking care of the girls. Now Roxanne was defending him. Maybe it was because regardless of reality, Mommy always took the side of the baby. Now it was Chris’s turn (again).

“Sorry Chris, I love you.” Sammy said before leaning in and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. Chris giggled at that.

Brianna, never one to be topped, leaned in and-

PHHHHHHHHHT!

-blew a raspberry right on Chris’s cheek, he cheeks puffing up, face turning red and eyes bulging comically in the process.

“You! Good! Baby!” she grunted before skipping away. Chris allowed himself a hearty laugh.

“Don’t go too far,” Roxanne called after her youngest daughter. “You and I are going shoe shopping today! Those old sneakers of yours are pretty worn out.”

“Aww….” Brianna pouted. “Stupidmeanydoodooheadnonononon!”

Roxanne rolled her eyes as she unbuckled Chris and sat him on her hip. “We’re going to the mall. If you come with me and get a new pair of shoes…” she let the offer hang in the air, “we can go to Dave and Buster’s for lunch.”

Brianna sped back into the kitchen. “Whatwhatwhat?!” Her chubby hands were shaking with excitement. “Dee En Bee? Dee En Bee? Deeeeeeee Ennnnnn Beeeee?”

Roxanne nodded. Dave and Buster’s had been one of Brianna’s obsessions since at least last Thanksgiving when Chris had come to visit. It was a restaurant chain that featured the twin joys of Video Arcades and overpriced fried food. It was like a Chuck E. Cheese’s that catered more to the teen and tween demographic, making it slightly more tolerable for adults.

“DEEEEEEEE ENNNNN BEEEEE!” Brianna shouted as she stomped around the kitchen, her fists pumping into the air. “DEEEEEE…..ENNNNN…BEEEEEEEEE!”

“Brianna Aryana Cole!” Roxanne snapped. Uh-oh…Roxanne had dropped all three names. A line was being drawn in the sand. “Stop that silliness right now, or we’re not going!” Brianna immediately stopped in her tracks.

Brianna immediately stood up straight, smoothed down the skirt she was wearing, held her chin up high and in perfectly over enunciated English said, “I am very sorry, Mother. I was merely excited about going to Dave and Buster’s.”

Roxanne let out a breath and relaxed herself. “That’s fine, Bri,” she said, “now please go get the diaper bag so we can go.”

“Okiedokiefinokie!” Bri said in her chipmunk voice before scurrying off to the nursery.

Roxanne aimed her eyes ceiling ward. “Just one normal child, can’t I have just one?” She turned to look at Chris, still resting on her hip. “Please, grow up normal, please…for mommy?” Chris yawned and rested his head on Roxanne’s shoulder.

“Don’t bet on it,” he mumbled.

“Heeey, I resent that!” Sammy broke in, offended by her mother’s comment.

“You also resemble it,” her joked.

“I mean Bri, yeah,” Sammy defended herself, “but I’m normal.”

“You almost drank breast milk,” Roxanne chuckled.

“Yeah…on accident!” Sammy’s face was read with indignation.

“Okay, okay, Sammy, calm down,” Roxanne soothed her daughter’s embarrassment. “I was only joking. Now go get ready to get in the car.”

“Can I stay here and wait till you guys get back?” Sammy asked, hope in her eyes.

“Whatever would you do here, all alone?” Roxanne inquired. Sammy shifted uncomfortably from side to side.

“Y’know…stuff...” she meekly tried.

“Liiiiiike?” Roxanne prodded. Chris sighed. Roxanne was trying to give her an opening, all she had to do was take it. Then a light came in Sammy’s mind and her face lit up.

“Well, let-me-see” she started to hold up her fingers, “No Dad, no you, no Chris, and no Bri,” she emphasized the last name. “What can I do? How about getting a chance to read enjoy the quiet?”

Roxanne nodded her approval. “Well I suppose you’re old enough to stay home by yourself for a few hours.” She said. Even with his eyes relaxed and half-closed, Chris could see Sammy puff out her chest a little bit and swell up with pride. “Just make sure,” Roxanne added, “to keep the doors locked, don’t answer the phone unless the Caller ID says it’s from me or your father, and don’t answer the door for anyone.”

Sammy rapidly nodded her understanding and agreement. “Yeahyeahyeah,” she said, “super-safe.”

Right about then Bri trudged up carrying the diaper bag, grunting and groaning like she was dragging along a ball and chain. “Whaddya have in here, an extra baby?” she quipped.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Roxanne commented dryly before heaving the bag onto her free shoulder. “I’ll have you know that yours wasn’t any lighter when you were his age.” Chris highly doubted that. “Okay, Bri, it looks like it’s just the three of us.” Roxanne announced. “Samantha is staying home for the morning, so that means more arcade money for you.”

“Yaaaaaaay!” Brianna jumped up and down before doing a mini victory lap around her mother.

“Okay, okay, enough stalling.” Roxanne said. “Let’s go.”

And off to the mom mobile they went.

The next time Chris found himself being quickly strapped into the red mini-van’s rollercoaster restraint sized baby seat was much less jarring or disturbing than the first. Chris was falling back into the routine now, (though can one day’s crazy events repeating themselves truly be called a routine?) and adjusting back to infancy much faster than he had the first time around. Perhaps it had been good that he had been conscious when the transformation happened this time around? It is much less jarring going to sleep as an infant and waking up as one too, than going to sleep as an adult and waking as an infant or vice versa.

Roxanne stroked Chris’s hair as she finished buckling him in. “There you go, baby boy,” she cooed, “all comfy and snuggly like a buggly?” Chris nodded. “Good.” She gave him a kiss on the forehead

The car seat felt good. He felt safe. Cared for even, and cradled, definitely cradled. Most modern baby restraint equipment tried to simulate and recreate that most ancient of positions, as if to give the child a comfort on some sort of primal level. Chris was totally feeling it right now. Very primal. Super manly…shamanistic…ah fuck it…it was babyish and he loved it. No one here had the ability to judge him for what he was, so why bother justifying it even to himself?

As the mom-mobile backed out of the garage and started down the road, Chris saw Brianna, who eyed him warily. Her eyes sparked with the promise of mischief and conflict. Chris smirked. All her life, Brianna had never been a big sister. She had always been the baby of the family. Always coddled and protected. Never the protector or the bully. Was that jealousy in her eyes? Was Chris actually making his baby sister jealous? He knew that look. Hells yeah he was.

She leaned over and stretched out her hand to touch him. She quickly jabbed him on his naked leg with her index finger before drawing it back. “Poke da baby!” she announced.

Chris shook his head sheepishly. “No…no poke da baby,” he whimpered playfully.

Brianna smiled evilly before nodding. “Poke da baby!” she snickered as she again leaned over and poked Chris’s thigh. Chris’s eyes narrowed. Brianna met his gaze and narrowed her own eyes. Quick cuts and close ups of their eyes squinting were interposed with Japanese computer animation giving the illusion of motion even though both were standing perfectly still. Chris nodded once. Bri returned the nod. Challenge accepted. Game on.

“Poke da baby!”

Smack!

“Poke da baby!”

Slappityslappityslapslap!

“Poke!”

Slap

“Poke”

Smackitysmack!

The siblings’s limbs flailed frantically at each other. Brianna trying to poke Chris, and Chris trying his best to defend from Brianna’s teasing attacks, slapping her hands away before she stick her chubby finger into his unprotected flesh. Chris held the advantage due to his longer arms, which because of whatever magic made him seem a baby, Bri seemed unable to anticipate and compensate for. As far as she was concerned, her baby brother kept getting in the way of her teasing. Truly, it was a battle for the ages (slight pun intended.).

After at least five minutes of this incessant poking and slapping, Chris, caught up in the fury of the moment, raised his arms up and bellowed, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

“That’s enough!” Roxanne yelled from the driver’s seat. “I cannot concentrate on driving with you two screaming like that!” Her eyes glared and her nostrils flared in the rear view mirror.

“He started it!” Bri pointed an accusing finger at Chris. Chris just stuck his tongue out for rebuttal.

“He’s a baby!” Roxanne roared. “I cannot believe we are having this discussion!”

Bri shrunk back in her seat. “Sorry, Mommy,”. Roxanne huffed and puffed for a few moments and then seemed to calm down. The car was dead silent for a minute as the dragon went back to sleep.

“He’s probably just cranky because I forgot to give him something to drink with his breakfast,” Roxanne told Brianna. “Bri, could you please reach into the bag and give him a bottle or something?”

“Okay,” Bri meekly replied, still cowed by her mother. “Uh…it doesn’t have to be…uh..milk..does it?”

Eyes still on the road, Roxanne shook her head. “No, there’s some apple juice in the left end pocket.”

“My left or your left?”

“Bri…just find it.”

Clearly annoyed, Bri unbuckled her seat belt, leaned over to the car floor, and dug through the diaper bag, looking for the juice. After about half a minute of searching pocket after pocket, she finally came up with a bottle of juice, it’s amber contents glowing as the morning sun passed through it.

“Found it!” Bri declared with some satisfaction. “Uh…now what?”

“Give it to him,” Roxanne instructed, somewhat impatiently.

“Here ya go Chris.” Bri offered up the bottle to him, “Some nice juice-juice Take it.” Feeling slightly petty, Chris decided to push his advantage. He reached out with his lips and began suckling on the rubber teat, never lifting his hands to take the bottle away from Brianna’s grasp. The juice electrified his tongue. It waltzed on his palate like the finest of wines. Compared to the mushy cereal, this was a shock to his tastes buds. Chris drank slowly, ever so slowly so he could savor this moment.

“Moooooom,” Bri whined, “he’s not taking the bottle.”

“Then just hold it for him for a little while, hon, we’re almost to the mall anyways.” The taste of the apple juice was sweet but the taste of making Brianna his bitch was sweeter. He gulped and gulped and gulped some more, all while his sister held the bottle and sighed dejectedly.

Finally, the mom-mobile came to a complete stop, and Chris decided to take the bottle from his sister.

“Finally!” she huffed as she proceeded to scramble out of the van. “Let’s go, let’s go. Dee En Bee! Dee En Bee!” Chris heard the back hatch whoosh open and a very large thud a few moments later, along with some clinking and clacking.

Roxanne slid open the side door that Chris was on. “Now just hold your horses, missy,” she chided, “Shoes first, remember? Dave and Busters isn’t even open till at least 11 so we have plenty of time to shop.”

“Fiiiine,” Brianna sulked.

Roxanne leaned over to Chris’s seat. “Let’s just check,” she said, and slipped her fingers into the leggings of his diaper. “Still dry,” she confirmed. “Good.” She rapidly unbuckled Chris from the seemingly impossible trap mechanism and hoisted him out of the car and into the mall parking lot.

Chris squinted involuntarily as the sun blinded him. Once his eyes adjusted, the ground was littered with a thousand tiny sparkles as the sunlight glinted off a hundred different car roofs and windshields and dents. Chris immediately felt hot and was sure he was mere moments away from being drenched in sweat. The diaper wasn’t helping any, but at least his legs and arms were free and uncovered. Hopefully, Roxanne would carry him inside quickly.

Then Chris’s eyes lit up with disbelief. His jaw dropped open and the bottle fell to the ground.

There before him, was four double wheels, a fully reclining bedding feature with a canopy for maximum comfort, a tray with amusing baubles bouncers and bumblers for his eating and entertainment with a handy storage compartment underneath for his diaper bag, and painted black with army green interior-just like his car from college- ……….

It was Systematic (Bomp)……,…Hydromatic (Bomp!)…… Ultramatic (Wooooo! BOMP!) It was the Greased Lightning of Strollers. And it was sized to fit him perfectly. Chris nearly fainted. Dreams do come true! They do! His ride had been pimped. Dear God, Chris hadn’t thought he’d be saying this, but he mouthed the words “Thank you Wubby, thank you,” as he was lowered in and strapped into his fancy new ride.

Chris was grinning like an idiot as the carriage started moving towards the mall. It was happening! It was really happening! He felt like getting on the new ride of a theme park for the first time. Cold air blasted him in the face as Mommy opened the doors and they strolled inside the mall (for that is what strollers do.) It was more than just the cold air that was making him shiver though.

Chris balled his fists up, waited for the looks of envy from the fellow passer-by…for he was a King and they should be envious of him and his chariot. Chris waited …and waited…and waited. Nothing. People kept passing right on by as Mommy pushed the stroller through the mall, her and sissy-Bri’s conversations muffled by the overhead canopy.

He tentatively waved to a few shoppers as he passed by, desperate for attention, and a few waved back to him, to which he involuntarily blushed and then turned away. Then again, Chris thought, why should they look at him or be envious of him? To them, he was just another baby in a stroller; a perfectly common occurrence, ordinary even.

If he had ponied up the cash and showed up to an age-play convention, or even posted this picture online, all of his ab/dl friends would be so jeal…..oh yeah…they didn’t exist anymore. Chris felt his eyes get slightly watery, and brushed a tear or two away. He pushed those thoughts aside. He should be happy, really… he should be.

But now, here he was, alone, as a baby, and now he had to go shoe shopping with Roxanne and Brianna. Ugh…he hated shoe shopping. Having to give opinions, none of which mattered, and look at all the different styles of shoes, all pretty much the same. The fact that it was for Brianna, meant that there’d be endless bickering that he’d have to put up with, and worst of all no one was going…to…ask…him…anything.

He was just a baby. He was just here along for the ride. It didn’t matter what he thought, and he wouldn’t be asked to participate, and here he was in a perfectly comfy stroller in a nice cool mall. Chris smiled softly. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

Chris leaned back and stretched out in the stroller, and closed his eyes. He felt a slight tingle indicating his bladder was full. Without any effort, he wet himself and felt the warmth spread out over his crotch. “Ahhhhh…” he sighed. “This is the life.” Chris popped his thumb in his mouth and sucked it for a few minutes as he felt the stroller glide along the tiled mall floors. He soon felt himself drift off into a dreamless sleep, the white noise of the mall coupled with his own soft snores were the last things he heard before losing consciousness, the wet diaper like a nice warm blanket around his crotch.

Chris awoke later to the feeling of two fingers poking into the leggings of his diaper. He awoke to find Roxanne kneeling in front of the stroller, checking him for wetness. “Yup,” Roxanne confirmed, “Chris needs a change.” Chris rubbed his eyes and leaned a little to the side to take in his current surroundings. Chris saw white tiled floors, and hallway directly behind Roxanne that forked left and right.

He couldn’t read the writing, but he could still identify the familiar blue and white signs. A man’s silhouette pointed to the right. A woman’s silhouette directed shoppers to the left. To his far left were two doors. One with a very short silhouette with a diaper on, legs splayed out, and another with a woman cradling a baby. Bathroom break, Chris deduced, and they were right outside the changing station.

“But Moooooom,” Brianna whined. “Dee Em Bee. You promised!”

“You can wait a few more minutes while I get him changed.” Roxanne told her daughter.

“No I can’t, no I can’t, no I- “ Bri stopped mid-sentence, her lips pursed in sudden thought. “Hey Mom,” she backtracked as she glimpsed at the sign of a woman cradling a baby. “you know how I interrupted Chris’s milk this morning?”

“Yeeeeessss?” Roxanne answered warily.

“Well, what if, what if, what if..you know-?” Bri started drawing circles on the floor with her feet. “What if you fed him here to make up for it?”

“And what would you be doing, young lady?” Roxanne asked, the suspicion in voice still evident.

“Dee Enn Bee Arcade?” she asked. “That way,” she added before Roxanne could get a word in, “I could play the games while you feed Chris, and then we eat andthenwegohomeandyouwon’thavetowaitonmeplaying?!”

Chris’s eyes shot up and he began begging like a puppy dog. “Please, please,” he whimpered, hoping his facial expressions would convey the meanings of his baby-babble words. “I don’t know if I’m gonna be like this tomorrow, and I may never get this chance again. And like you owe me,” he added.

Roxanne seemed to mull this all over for a few moments before finally saying, “Alright”.

“Yay!” Both Chris and Brianna celebrated. Roxanne reached into her purse and pulled out a few green bills. She counted them out carefully before placing them in Brianna’s hands.

“Now this should be more than enough for you,” she began lecturing, “and as soon as I get there, you stop playing and come eat lunch with me, okay?”

“Yes, Mommy!” Brianna bounced up and down.

“And go straight there,” Roxanne instructed.

“Yes, Mommy!” Brianna shook her head up and down rapidly, as she ran away from the public restrooms.

“And go no talking to strangers or leaving Dave and Busters without me!” Roxanne called out to her daughter’s back.

“Okiedokiefinokieeeeeeeeeee,” came the echoing reply.

Chris cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted after her. “Thank you Bri! All is forgiven! I love you!” Chris felt the stroller move again; back, then forth, as Roxanne attempted to do something resembling parallel parking the gigantic stroller. Next, Chris was greeted by Roxa…errr…Mommy’s smiling face as she deftly unbuckled him from his super cool ride. She placed her hands on his hips and easily hefted him up over her shoulder.

Chris could feel her hand pat his rump softly. “Not poopy, yet,” Mommy commented. “So, which first, baby boy?” she asked “Diaper change, or lunch?” Chris was about to bother committing a response when he felt a warm tingling sensation in his crotch. Chris let out a long sigh of relief as he re-soaked his Pampers and he quickly found his thumb making its way to his mouth. The warmth splashed down his crotch and he felt his taint and lower cheeks getting wet and slippery as the saturated Pampers worked to absorb his latest accident. It was like slipping into a warm bath. He sucked contentedly for a few seconds until the stream stopped. Mommy must have felt the added warmth, because she gave the back of his diaper an extra pat and squeeze. “Diaper change it is, then,” Mommy decided.

Mommy picked up the diaper bag from the stroller and into the changing room they went. It wasn’t anything amazing or immaculate, but it definitely had a clean feeling to it. The wall was lined with wall mounted changing stations with little privacy blockers installed, kind of like the urinals in a men’s bathroom. (The better ones anyway.) Each station had its own identical covered trashcan with the swinging lid. The changing stations themselves, however, were far from uniform.

To the far right walls there were stations decorated with diapered koala bears being held by their koala mothers. “Koala Care” Chris thought, but unlike everything else in this fantasy world, they weren’t sized for giant babies, just the regular ones. The ones to the right had pictures of baby elephants following their parents, trunk to tail, but they were equally insufficient for a baby that wasn’t an actual baby. “Diaper Depot” Chris recognized them. (What? When you’re growing up and obsessed with babies, you start to pay attention to different changing station logos.)

But the third set of changing stations were just right. They were easily big enough to double as military bunk beds. They were so big that only three of them took up the entire far wall. A simple pastel bee decorated it. Chris didn’t recognize that one, but some part of him immediately liked it. “Huh…Bay-Bee Changing Station”, Mommy remarked as she walked up. “Cute.”

Mommy had to take a step back as she pulled down the changing table from the wall. If she noticed she didn’t say anything. Still supporting Chris, she reached into the diaper bag and with one hand flung the changing mat open before draping it over the pull-down counter.

“Down-we-go,” she announced in her silly sing song voice. Gently, she lowered Chris down onto the changing table. Chris allowed himself to giggle and blush at all the attention. This was the life. Soon, Mommy was unbuttoning the crotch snaps to his onesie. She lifted his butt up just enough so she could slide it up past his tummy.

Chris looked down at his now very wet Pampers. The swelling of the diaper had caused the rubber duckies and bathtubs emblazened along the crotch to more closely resemble the Penguin’s sweet ride in Batman Returns and the bathtubs to look like something President Taft would have used (may the great man rest in peace).

Mommy tore the tapes off and slowly opened the diaper for a look see. Chris shivered as the cold air hit his wet err…manhood…and his prick almost instantly became hard. Chris began to squirm slightly and Mommy quickly closed the diaper back onto her baby boy as a new stream of pee began to make its exit out into the open air.

“Not quite done yet,” she teased as she gently padded the warm front of his Pampers. Chris didn’t care. He could feel her hand through the warm diaper. It felt strong, and gentle, and hauntingly familiar, almost like the way his real…Chris shook the thought away before it could fully be formed. It was better to be a baby right now. Babies had fewer problems and far more sensual pleasures. “All done,” Mommy asked bringing her baby out of an increasingly rare moment of introspection. Chris could only slightly shrug. He really didn’t know.

Mommy opened the diaper back, and the strong smell of urine hit Chris’s nose. He wrinkled it and hoped it would be over with soon. Smelling like a bathroom wasn’t the most enjoyable experience to the nose, even if what caused it felt like heaven to the bladder and skin. Mommy didn’t even flinch as she popped the lid open on a tub of wipes. Her love was so great for him that she was immune to his condition.

Just as she had when Chris had first awakened into this glorious dream, she gently caressed him with the baby wipes, taking away all the icky sticky germs. Not a spot was missed. Buttocks and genitals were gently and thoroughly bathed by her experienced hand and she made sure to give a firm but gentle grip on his member as she cleaned it last. She began humming a little tune while she worked, which sounded vaguely like “This is the way we (insert job here) so early in the morning.” Chris imagined she was thinking “This is the way we change our kid, change our kid, change our kid. This is the way we change our kid, so early in the morning.”

Mommy balled the diaper up and did a half turn, keeping one hand on her precious little angel as she through the wet Pampers away into the awaiting bin. Then she turned back and reached into the bag and she unfolded a new diaper for her little miracle. Up went his legs as a new Pampers was slid underneath him and he didn’t dare to exhale till his tushie had been caught by the soft padding.

Next came the baby powder, and Chris could swear he could feel the individual particles of talc land softly upon his bum and privates. His nose was treated to the sweet fragrance of the baby powder mingling with the diaper’s perfume and the unmistakable aroma of Mommy’s jasmine perfume. The diaper was expertly pulled up and snugly taped on, and Chris was delighted to see that finally, finally Cookie Monster adorned his diaper. He popped his thumb in his mouth and rhythmically sucked on it so that none of his senses would be deprived during this experience.

Work done, Mommy cleaned her hands with a baby wipe and then buttoned the onesie back up. Chris felt great contentment as he was lifted back into Mommy’s arms and the changing mat was bundled back up into the bag from whence it came. And the best part hadn’t even started yet. Resting on her hip, Chris reached for Mommy’s breast and gave it a lot squeeze. Rather than swat it away, Mommy just looked at him and shushed him, “I know, I know.”

“Yeah, you do.” Chris agreed, his eyes filled with a combination of love, lust, and hunger. Mommy carried him back out into the hallway and dropped the diaper bag back into the waiting stroller. She then adjusted her grip on Chris and moved him from her hip to being cradled in her arms. Cradling, that most primitive and intimate of holds.

Chris heard a slight woosh as Mommy did a U-turn and walked into the nursing room and closed the door. She turned on the lock, undoubtedly making the sign by the door read occupied, before going to sit down. She smiled down at Chris with nothing but a mother’s love in her eyes. Chris heard a soft creaking as Mommy sat down in the provided easy chair. Good. She should be comfy too.

When she lifted up her shirt and unlatched her nursing bra, Chris heard himself whisper, “Finally….” Much like when he a virgin, he didn’t so much as pounce at her as he did slowly, very slowly ease into her. He sucked on her tit and felt the sweet, sweet milk of her bosom flow into him. Finally, with no threat of interruption, no impending mental breakdown, and no little sisters, he could enjoy this.

Mommy rubbed his back as he slowly supped, playing games with her nipple and his tongue. She started humming a song again and caressed his whole body up and down as the melody of “Hush little baby” hung in the air. No words were spoken. No silly baby talk. None was needed.

Chris could feel her heartbeat. It was steady, content, and at peace. She was at peace and so was he. He began to hum along with her as he suckled, and his infant mewling joined her music in the air.

She stopped him for only a moment while she adjusted him and had him switch breasts, but then the same waltz and songs and communion began again. Chris felt a deep warmth form in his belly. A warmth that spread slowly but noticeably through every limb. But this wasn’t the warmth of release, the catharsis of pressure abating, of using his diaper for its intended purpose. This was the warmth of taking something into himself, of taking Mommy’s milk, Mommy’s essence, inside of himself and becoming one with it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Chris vaguely wondered if Vampires and Babies had more in common than appeared at first glance.

“This is awesome,” he thought. “Everything is awesome! I will never, ever, get tired of this.”

Finally, of his own volition, and on his own time, Chris stopped breastfeeding. “All done?” Mommy asked. Chris didn’t need to answer. She shifted him to sitting on her knee and rubbed his back, giving it gentle pats.

“BURP!” Chris let out a loud belch after the first few pats.

“Good boy!” Mommy praised. “Now just a couple more.” Chris was more than happy to comply. Forget burgers and shakes, this had it beat hands down.

Sated beyond what he thought capable, Chris relaxed every muscle in his body as he was plopped down and buckled into his stroller. Time to relax and nap and possibly make guilt-free snarky comments while Mommy and sissy-Bri ate their gross food. He closed his eyes but was still acutely aware of the twists and turns through the ball to Dave and Buster’s. Left, right, right again, left, and straight for a while.

“What…is…this?!” Mommy asked, sounding amazed. Chris propped one eyelid open. Dave and Buster’s was gone! In the restaurant’s place was a horde of neon lights and signs while the tell-tale dings, rattles, buzzes, and beeps of Dave and Buster’s arcade section were now multiplied ten-fold. Where there was once a family restaurant and Arcade was now just….well a very, very, very big arcade.

“Mom! Mom!” Brianna called as she rushed out into the Mall proper from this new attraction.

“Brianna Cole!” Mom scolded Bri, “I thought I told you to go to Dave and Buster’s!”

“But Dee En Bee isn’t here anymore, mom!” Brianna exclaimed. “This place is so much better! It doesn’t have any food, and it has NOTHING BUT VIDEO GAMES!”

“Well, young lady,” a strange voice came from out of the arcade, “that’s not entirely true.”

Chris opened both his eyes now. Out from the doors of the arcade came an oddly dressed old man. His pants were black with purple stripes and baggy, while he wore black and white wingtip shoes. His red and yellow checkered shirt was partially covered by a red and black polka dotted vest. His white goatee came out to a devilish point and his mustache curled in a way to make even Snidely Whiplash envious. His hair sprang out wildly from underneath his top hat. Despite being obviously very spry, the man was 80 if he was a day.

But most noticeably of all, to Chris at least, was the ring on the old man’s right middle finger. It was gold with a very familiar looking ruby in it that sparkled and danced as the mall’s fluorescent lighting hit it. The old man looked at the whole family, and then he looked over at Chris and his gaze stopped dead. He looked over at Chris, and winked.

He knew!