College or Cribs

Chapter 10
Normal

Chapter Description: Chris's prediction about Wubby fails horribly. What consequences will be felt now that his girlfriend has caught him wearing an adult diaper?

Chapter 10: Normal

Chris bolted up to his feet, the adult diaper sagging noticeably between his thighs. Sherry closed the door without word, her eyes wide with disbelief. Both he and his girlfriend just stared at each other, slack jawed and silent. Chris was too panicked to breathe through his nose, and was audibly panting, suppressing a scream that he hoped would never come.

For her part, Sherry was mute. She didn’t move, and the color drained from her face as she took the scene in. She kept staring at Chris and prickles went up and down his body as her eyes moved down from his head to the diaper he was wearing, then back up to his face, then back down to his diaper. It was as if she were staring at a coiled snake ready to strike, instead of her high-school sweetheart.

“I can explain!” Chris blurted out. But he couldn’t. A lump had formed in his throat and it was quickly growing bigger. “This…this isn’t what it looks like.”

“Are you not wearing a diaper?” Sherry cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. “Cuz that’s what it looks like to me.” Her expression was one of utter confusion. She didn’t say it, but her face absolutely screamed “WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT?!”

The lump in Chris’s throat became a boulder. He couldn’t speak. His face got hot. His vision blurred. Tears came unbidden. His knees shook. He opened his mouth once to say something. Nothing came out. He shook his head, trying to think of something, anything to say. Nothing. Nothing. He tried it again. A whimper that felt like scream forced it’s way through his lips. And all the time Sherry stood there. Staring.

This was it. This was the end. This was how they broke up. This was how life as he knew it was over. First, she’d yell at him, call him a freak and a pervert; probably a pedophile too. That’s what everybody assumed at first and most who didn’t have this side of them didn’t bother sticking around to find out the truth. If he was lucky, it would end there. He’d be alone again. Forever.

If not, she’d tell everyone: His family, his friends from high school, his roommates at college. Even if she didn’t tell them directly, the “miracle” of Facebook. One post and he’d be the laughing stock of his social circles. Every bad episode of Jerry Springer, Maury, and Doctor Phil would become his life for the foreseeable future. It might even affect his scholarship. There was an LGBT alliance on campus, but there was no AB/DL one that he knew of.

If he was lucky, he’d get the questions: “What’s wrong with you?” “Is this a joke?” “So do you get a boner every time you see a diaper?” “Do kids turn you on?” “Were you abused or molested as a kid or something?” “Have you ever tried not being an Adult Baby?” And even after the initial onslaught of abuse died down, those few friends who stuck around and the family who was with him…there’d always be that lingering suspicion. Were they talking about him? Making fun of him behind his back? Judging him? Condemning him?

“I can’t,” he heard himself squeaking. “I just…can’t.” Chris turned away from Sherry as the first tears dripped from his cheeks. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her. He didn’t deserve her. He was filth. He had been loving her on borrowed time and it was now up. Time to pay with interest. He slammed his eyes shut and squeezed himself tight as he began to sob, his body jerking involuntarily as he worked himself into a frenzied hysteria.

Chris’s ears felt hot, and the world was ringing. Out of habit, he wiped away tears and rubbed his eyes. Wubby had somehow moved to Chris’s computer desk and now sat, gazing at his owner. The bear’s mismatched red and blue eyes twinkled back at him, but that’s not what stood out most to Chris. The stuffed animal seemed to smirking at him, the stitching that made up his mouth angled in a subtle Mona Lisa smile. The bear was mocking him.

For his part, all Chris could do was allow his body to be wracked by sobs. Then he felt a slender hand on his shoulder. He turned around and glimpsed at Sherry, staring at him, with nothing but innocent pity in her eyes. Wordlessly, she took him into her arms, and rubbed his back.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Sherry shushed as she rubbed his back. “I know, I know.” This only increased the deluge of self-loathing Chris felt. Great. Now she felt sorry for him. Still, some small flicker of hope glimmered. Maybe she wouldn’t leave him after all. But how could she be taking this so well? Most people would be freaking out or laughing their asses off in this scenario. Was it because she knew? She knew?!

“You…you do?” Chris choked out, still allowing himself to be held tightly by Sherry. Her caress was comforting and the gentle rubbing of his back was beginning to calm him. Sherry took a step back.

“Yeah,” she affirmed, her eyes drifting slightly to the side now that the intensity of the moment was beginning to shift to awkward. “Or at least I suspected it.” She let her arms drop to her side and began rubbing her left arm in a nervous sort of way. She was trying to find something to do with her hands.

“But how?” Chris was incredulous. He had hidden it for so long, and so well.

“Your closet,” replied Sherry. Now it was her turn to blush. “The one in your college apartment, I mean. I went snooping through it on one of my visits a couple of months ago. I was looking for condoms or porn or something….something to tease you with…you know. Maybe even a football jersey to pose in; I thought guys liked that sort of thing.” She puffed her cheeks up as she exhaled. “But instead, I found the diapers. I expected to find stuff from X-Mart, the kind of things I thought most guys hide under the pile of dirty clothes. But instead…”

“You what?” was all Chris was able to stammer. When had that happened? How? Then a single thought came to mind. “Valentine’s Day.”

“Yup,” she said.

“Fuck,” he cursed.

“That’s what I said at first,” Sherry replied. “I was actually kind of embarrassed. But if this,” she gestured to the sodden Depends, is something you need, then I support you. I still love you, even if you do wear diapers sometimes.”

The hair on the back of Chris’s neck stood up. Just hearing it said out loud made it unreal to him. A beat passed, and the phrase really sank in. Was this what relief felt like? Was this actually happening? It was. It definitely was. When Sherry leaned back into him and gave him a peck on the cheek, something below Chris’s waist stood up.

“Besides,” Sherry added with a light-hearted half-smile, “I’m willing to bet that you’re not the first or only guy who wets the bed sometimes.”

Breaks squealed in Chris’s mind, followed by a terrible car crash, followed by explosions, screaming and ambulance wails.

“What.” Chris said, as if something hadn’t quite sunken in. It hadn’t.

“I said I bet you’re not the first or only guy who has a bed wetting problem.” Sherry’s words were accompanied by an inner monologue of the telltale whistling of a bomb dropping. “At first I was wondering why you didn’t try something more discreet like pullups or underjams or goodnights or something, but I honestly don’t think they’d fit you. Besides,” she added, “I imagine those things are a little too babyish for you, anyways.”

“Yeeaaah,” Chris said. His mind raced even as his mouth dragged on. Bedwetter? How the hell had Sherry come to THAT conclusion? Pullups too babyish? Chris knew the stock of he had kept in his apartment. Against his better judgment he had almost exclusively fetish diapers; the kind with pastel blocks spelling “Baby” printed on them and teddy-bears and airplanes and umbrellas. The kind that were designed to LOOK like real baby diapers. No way any intelligent person would find those and come to the conclusion of “just a bed wetter.”

“Soooo, I’mgonnatakeashowercanwestoptalkingaboutthisrightnow?”

Chris blurted out.

“Sure.” Sherry nodded. She backed up to his bedroom door, and opened it up a crack. “I’ll just hang out while you clean up. Wanna go out and get some breakfast after you’re all showered up.”

“Okay,” Chris replied, wishing desperately that she would leave. Sherry smiled and slipped back out of the door and closed it silently. Chris trudged to his bathroom as his pulse slowed back down to a non-hummingbird rate. Whew. He turned on the water and let the steam spread out into his bathroom, turning it into a sauna. He stepped out of the Depends and balled it up, shoving it in the cabinet under the bathroom sink. He’d have to find a way to get rid of it later, but chances are he could hide it till at least the night before garbage day and sneak it into the bottom of the trashcan.

Chris closed his eyes and let the water soak him down. The embarrassment and torment he had just put himself through was being boiled out of him. Whew! Bullet dodged. But how? Something didn’t quite add up. Sherry wasn’t exactly a woman of the world, but she couldn’t be that naïve. Could she? Maybe she didn’t get a good look at the diapers. Maybe she was in denial. It was hard to say. The point was, that even though she knew something was going on, she still hadn’t sussed out Chris’s actual secret shame. The bed-wetting thing was kind of weird, and he was oddly irritated by the thought. He wasn’t some stupid bed-wetter, by golly, he wasn’t a baby. He just wanted to be. Okay, when he said it like that, it didn’t sound like something to be proud of.

Alright, so maybe this wasn’t a solution to his problem, but it was a half-step. If she could accept the idea of wearing diapers because he was a bed wetter, maybe he could kind-of-sort-of-in-a-couple-of-more-years bounce the idea that he didn’t just wear them for bedtime. Maybe he could ease her into the idea. Anyways, it was now a better option than taking the secret to his grave.

Chris toweled himself off and walked into his bedroom. Wubby was still on his computer desk, waiting for him, ruby and sapphire eyes glittering. The damn thing hadn’t moved once. Chris shook his head, mostly to himself. Maybe he was imagining things. Maybe he was cracking up. After all, hadn’t the bear always had that placid little smile on it? But how did that explain the previous days past?

Had Chris dreamt it all? No, that was unlikely considering how long the experience seemed and how vivid it was. Besides, how had he incorporated the trips to the Library and the baby-sitting episode? Maybe he had entered some sort of bizarre fugue state where he incorporated the various real world stimuli into his fantasy; kind of like in “I Am the Cheese.”

Sadly, Chris was a pre-med student, and not a psychology one. These sort of things were beyond anything resembling his field of study. This sort of thing happened in some of the ab/dl stories he read online, though. In those stories, this was usually the calm before the storm.

Usually in those stories, the protagonist was doomed to make terrible choices of inaction and ineptitude, eventually dooming them to a life in diapers. Then again, the protagonists didn’t generally ever enjoy being babied. On a more reasonable note, what other choice did Chris have? He had no idea what was going on, and his girlfriend was waiting on him for a playdate…date he corrected himself.

Until he had more of an idea what had happened to him the other day, and what was going on now, his only reasonable option was to do nothing about current events and spend the day with the love of his life. There are worse things.

Chris quickly got dressed in some boxer briefs, baggy shorts and t-shirt. He combed his hair, brushed his teeth, and slipped on a pair of comfortable crocs. Then he stepped out of his room and stomped down the stairs of his house into the family room.

As usual, Briana and Samantha were both awake but still in their pajamas; the greatest luxury a suburbanite kid can have in the earliest days after school let out. Bri was sitting cross-legged on the floor watching something on the T.V., munching on dry cereal, while Sammy lounged on the couch, taking sips of orange juice. When the commercial break hit, she’d quickly bury her nose in one of her books, reading and re-reading plot points that she had lost track of while staring at the screen.. Not even bookish beanpole Sammy was completely immune from the powers of Nickelodeon, Disney, and Cartoon Network. Sherry for her part was sitting on one of the cushioned arms of the sofa, glancing back and forth from the T.V. to the stairs. She smiled warmly when she caught sight of Chris.

“Hey hon,” Sherry waved, “just hanging out with the girls.” She stepped up to Chris and inhaled deeply. “You smell better.” Chris unintentionally grimaced. He must’ve smelt like piss before. Depends weren’t particularly famous for odor control.

“Than what?” Sammy asked, butting into the conversation. Chris’s blood was ice. He looked to Sherry, eyes pleading for help.

“B.O and morning breath,” Sherry told Chris’s little sister. “Bad combination. It’s a good thing showers were invented because boys stink.” She smiled flirtaciously at Chris. Chris exhaled a sigh of relief and flirt-smiled back.

“Truuuuuuue that,” Sammy agreed as if “boys stink” was both obvious, and profound and thank-god-somebody-else-realized-it. Chris twisted his features into a playful frown.

“Hey!” he objected.

“It’s true!” Sammy answered, her smile becoming even wider. “Right Bri?” Bri just nodded, not even taking her eyes off the screen. Chris playfully smacked Samantha on the shoulder with the back of his hand. Samantha just giggled and recoiled. She loved egging her big brother on, especially in front of his girlfriend.

“So…breakfast?” Sherry asked.

“Breakfast,” Chris nodded.

And so they went about their day being normal college age love-birds. They went to breakfast, (her treat), and took a walk along a local jogging trail, hand in hand talking about nothing in particular. Then they went window shopping, which Chris despised but Sherry loved, so he grinned and bared it. Then they had an early lunch (his treat), and caught a movie matinee. They then just talked for a while as they drove around town. Finally, they went Dutch on dinner and Chris drove her back to his house so she could take her car home.

“I had a really great time today,” Sherry confided in him, “even despite the admittedly, odd beginning.” Chris blushed and crossed his arms.

“Me too,” he said, blushing. It had been a great day. For too long, they hadn’t had a whole day to themselves where they could just spend time with each other. That was the problem with long-distance relationships. But today had been good. Almost perfect.

“I’ve gotta get going.” Sherry told him. “I promised my parents I’d be home tonight before they turned in.”

“They’re still waiting up for you?” Chris questioned, “They’ve been doing that since high-school”

“Well,” Sherry rolled her eyes inwardly, “I’m still their little girl, to them. It’s annoying when I come home for the summer, but I suppose I still enjoy knowing that they worry.”

“Yeah,” Chris agreed, “I guess so.” Then they kissed, passionately, desperately, both knowing that neither truly wanted the other to go. And then their lips parted, their eyes opened, and they went their separate ways for the night.

Chris watched her drive off and smiled, still glowing from the kiss. His reverie was suddenly broken when he heard the distinctive giggle of two familiar voices. Chris walked up to the door to his dad’s house and stopped. Shushing noises and muffled giggles greeted his ears.

BOMBOMBOMBOMBOM!

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Chris pounded on the door as hard as he could, surprising the little pests that were his sisters. He flung open the door to see both of them scampering away.

“Are you STILL in your pajamas?” Chris called out after them.

“Yeah!” They called back triumphantly in unison.

“Sheesh…kids.” Chris muttered to himself. “So immature.” The hypocrisy of his statement didn’t particularly rattle him.

His day concluded, Chris tromped up the stairs to his bedroom. What. A. Day. Hell, what a morning. Fuck that, what a past couple of days. Thank goodness for today. Chris needed a little normalcy after what had gone on. Normal was good. Normal was calming. Normal was well, normal.

Speaking of normal, Wubby was still on the computer desk, where he had been left. No more sudden teleporting around the room. No more deranged sanity questioning encounters. It was over, if it had ever really happened. Chris chuckled to himself. Then giggled. Then laughed. Then guffawed. Then burst out into full on rolling on the floor laughing his ass off!

How stupid was he?! Really?! A magic teddy bear that altered reality so that everyone saw him as a baby? How ridiculous did that sound now that he had put it on paper. Well, the paper of his mind anyways.

Then Chris got an idea. Put it on paper. Why not? It had been a pretty good story after all. Maybe he’d write it as a story and put it on the message boards he frequented. If nothing else it would be worth a laugh, (maybe even a little more than a laugh later once he put this whole business behind him.)

Chris peeked outside of his room to make sure no one was going to barge in at any minute, then closed the door. He tiptoed to his computer and logged on. It was time to throw caution to the wind. Time to break his ab/dl fast, and binge on the interwebs.

He felt a twinge of guilty pleasure as he typed in one of his usual community sights, www.nightlynappies.com His screen went blank, and his screen flashed the message “Oops! Google Chrome could not find nightlynappies.com.” That was odd. Chris leaned forward and checked to make sure he hadn’t typed in the address wrong. Nope. Everything was spelled correctly. Maybe the server was down.

He tried another sight: www.ararmory.com The screen again read “Oops! Google Chrome could not find ararmory.com” Huh…maybe it was a connection problem. He checked Facebook, and Yahoo, and reddit, and half a dozen other mainstream sites. They were all working perfectly.

www.coontalestribune.com ? Nothing. Like the sight didn’t exist.

Then Chris went to google. He googled “Adult Baby”, and none of the usual sights, or indeed any fetish sights at all, came up. He tried “AB/DL” and infantilism. Nothing. Every single trick and search term. He even looked up “Paraphilic Infantilism” on Wikipedia. No such page. He checked the history. It hadn’t been deleted. There was no record of such an entry ever having been there. In desperation, Chris typed in “Fetish” into Wikipedia, and found a whole list of different fetishes. Just none of them having to do with adult babies or diaper lovers.

There wasn’t even a youtube of a Jerry Springer episode or a Netflix of “Taboo”.

He even went to several collegiate sights looking for research papers on the subject. Nothing. It was as if AB/DL’s had never existed.

Chris stared at the screen, unblinking. It was as if he was alone; as if the entire AB/DL community had simply vanished from the internet without a trace; or worse yet, he was the only Adult Baby out there. He was alone, with no one to talk to. No one out there who understood him and had the same interests as him. He was a freak.