You Ain't Never Had A Fiend Like Me

Chapter 1
You Ain't Never Had A Fiend Like Me Chapter 1

You humans have a lot of misconceptions about my kind. First off, despite what popular media might have you believe, we are not blue bearded creatures, nor are we blonde bombshells that expose our belly buttons. We have no appearance at all since we are ethereal creatures. When we appear to humans we tend to take their form because, as much as your kind hates to be accosted by strangers, you still react to that better than talking animals or appliances. Speaking of appliances, we could be living in your washing machine. That’s a rarity of course, but my point is we aren’t confined exclusively to lamps. We can also inhabit vases, teapots… basically anything where we’ll be comfortable for a few thousand years. And finally, the most important thing to clear up, we don’t grant three wishes. We only have to grant one.

Most genies follow the protocol that you’re probably already familiar with. Someone touches an item, a mist streams out, and then a genie appears and tells their new master that they will grant one of their wishes. I followed this same pattern for thousands of years myself, and it quickly got boring. For one thing, I got tired of seeing how greedy people were. It was a real rarity for someone to wish for something that benefited anyone but them. And I got sick of referring to humans as my "master." To think, a being with the powers and abilities that I have, being forced to serve your kind.

So one day I decided to try something new. There’s no "genie police force" or anything to watch over us, only the magical powers that restrict us to following certain rules, such as being trapped in a bottle (or toaster) until someone releases us. I’m not even entirely sure that we have to grant a wish, but considering how easy it is for me and the fact that failing to do so could result in my destruction, I haven’t experimented with that. What I have done, however, is wait for the person to make a wish. I remain in the object even after someone touches it, so that when they do make a wish, they have no idea it will be granted. I simply wait for them to say the words "I wish" and hope that it’s something I can use. Over the years I’ve gotten very got at technically granting the wish they made while at the same time having a little fun of my own. Sometimes it’s backfired because someone will just happen to say "I wish I had an iPad," and there’s just no other way to interpret that. But most of the time they lay the trap for themselves so easily, it’s impossible not to take the bait.

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Karen Moseley turned to the next page of the photo album and immediately smiled. The top picture showed her at age seven, smiling proudly as she stood behind a table that featured a handmade sign declaring that fresh squeezed lemonade could be purchased for only a dollar. The green-eyed brunette girl still had the same beaming smile, except now it was even better because she wasn’t missing one of her front teeth. She may not have turned heads on her college campus, but there were plenty of freshmen boys that had crushes on her after her first semester. But none of those came lose to the one held by the boy currently sitting next to her on the couch.

Gabe Tanner wore glasses and didn’t shave often enough, meaning there was usually wispy facial hair above his lip and on his chin. But he wasn’t unattractive by any means. It was just that Karen had never thought of him in that way. They’d become friends at the age of five, when she and her mother had moved in next door to Gabe following her parents’ divorce. Gabe’s parents were also divorced, and he lived with his mother. When they were little, they liked the fact that the other one didn’t constantly ask them questions about why their Daddy didn’t live with them. As they grew up, they sometimes confided in each other about the difficulties they faced as children of divorced parents, including the awkwardness of meeting the people their parents decided to date.

Even when they went off to different colleges, they still stayed in touch online. And whenever they were both home, they’d try to find time to hang out. During winter break, Karen spent most of the time with her friends. So Gabe looked forward to spring break. Their colleges had it the same week while most of Karen’s other friends were still in class, so he was able to hang out with her more. And here he was now, sitting next to the girl he’d had a crush on for basically his whole life, looking through a photo album because she’d decided she wanted to scan some old pictures and add them to her Facebook timeline.

Gabe scooted closer to her. She thought he was only trying to get a better look at the picture, so she turned toward him, and when she did, their legs touched. She thought nothing of it as she shifted positions, but Gabe briefly experienced heaven. She mistook the smile on his face as a reaction to the picture.

"Yeah, wasn’t I adorable with that missing tooth? It would make a whistling sound sometimes when I talked."

"I remember that," Gabe replied with a laugh.

"Do you remember my lemonade stand?" Gabe nodded. Of course he did. He’d helped her out, basically working for free as she bossed him around. He hadn’t understood at the time why he was willing to do anything she asked.

"You know I found out a couple of years ago that my mom paid most of my customers to buy from me? I thought I’d earned twenty dollars all by myself. It was nice of her, I guess, but sometimes I think she protected me too much." Karen had been home-schooled, and during her first semester of college she quickly learned that some of the things she was far from an expert in many of the things she thought she excelled at. Her mother dispensed praise like it would spoil if she held it back, and that made Karen think she was the best at everything. It had made for a very nice childhood, but Karen often joked with her mother that she should have been harder on her, to which her mother would always rebut "I can start now if you want."

"Better than my mom," Gabe said. "I could be elected President, and she’d want to know why I didn’t win by more votes." Even though he was exaggerating, Karen knew Gabe’s mother was a tough woman. She recalled witnessing him receiver a number of spankings as his mother didn’t even bother to wait until they were out of public view. The embarrassment for Gabe was often worse than the punishment itself.

Karen sniffled, not from nostalgia, but from the cold she was barely fighting off. "Can you pass me those tissues?" she asked, pointing to the table next to Gabe. He kindly handed them over. Karen blew her nose loudly, not the least embarrassed to have Gabe watching. She crumpled up the tissue and sat it on the edge of the coffee table before returning to the photo album.

Karen pointed out another picture. In it, she and Gabe wore superhero costumes as they were pushed on swings by their mothers. Their smiles were infectious. "I guess we didn’t have it so bad when you really think about it. Between finals and having to work and everything, well, sometimes I wish we were still at an age where our mothers still took care of all our needs." Gabe smiled. He wasn’t really listening, but he loved when she spoke to him. "And maybe then we could see what it would be like if our mothers had opposite personalities. What do you think?"

The slight pause made Gabe realize she was expecting a response from him. "Uh, oh yeah. I totally agree." Before he had time to figure out what he had agreed to, a man dressed in a suit suddenly appeared in front of them. He had literally appeared out of nowhere. Karen and Gabe stared at him in alarm, their mouths still waiting for their brains to register what had happened so they could scream in shock.

The man seemed to anticipate this, as he quickly said, "Don’t scream. And don’t get up." Almost as an afterthought, he added, "Those aren’t suggestions." To their horror, Karen and Gabe found that no sound would emanate from their mouths. And while they could wiggle around and pick up their legs, their butts remained firmly planted on the couch. They looked at each other, utter panic in their eyes.

"I’m sure you’re wondering what’s happening, so I’ll make this quick. I’m a genie. I was in that kettle that you brought home for your mother, Karen. Quite a thoughtful gift. Anyway, I’m now going to grant your wish. But first, any questions?"

They couldn’t explain the feeling, but something in their throats changed, releasing their silence. Karen immediately tried to scream, only to find the feeling return. Once she stopped trying to yell, it went away once again."

"Normal voice only, please," the man said.

"What wish are you talking about?" Karen asked.

"You said you wished your mothers still took care of all your needs. And you tacked on that you wished they swapped personalities."

"Oh my God! Are you going to turn us into babies?" Karen asked.

"Been there, done that," the genie replied. "I think you’ll both find my alternative far more creative."

Momentarily forgetting his crush, Gabe asked with alarm, "Both of us? But I didn’t make the wish."

"You agreed to it."

"Well, yeah, but I was just… uh…" Gabe didn’t want to admit that he had only agreed to please Karen. But the genie of course knew this without having to be told.

"I know what you were doing. But she made the wish for both of you, so that’s how it’s going to be." The genie raised his hand, his fingers together, preparing to snap. "Goodnight."

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The snap was completely unnecessary of course, but I like to have a little showmanship. Now this Karen girl is nice enough. But even the nicest human has a lot of problems. She honestly complains because her childhood was too nice. And believe me, even though she’s joking when she mentions it to her mother, she means it. It’s more that she hates having to finally fend for herself. Instead of complaining that her mother didn’t teach her those skills, she should be thankful her mother helped her out as much as she did. The world can be a cruel place, and her mother shielded her from it.

Still, I don’t plan to do anything horrible to her, at least not by my standards. I’m relatively sure she won’t enjoy any of it, but that means that I definitely will. It’s not my fault I get such intense satisfaction from watching humans suffer. It’s just the way I was created. And in the end, she’ll learn a very valuable lesson.

Gabe, well, he doesn’t need to learn much of anything. He sort of just got caught in the crossfire on this one. But with what I have planned, maybe he’ll wind up getting what he’s wanted for all these years too.

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Karen groggily opened her eyes, still feeling the affects of a deep sleep. Other than not having a splitting headache it was a little like the hangover she’d experienced early in the semester before she learned not to overdo it. As her eyes focused, the first thing she noticed was some clouds. And a sun. And a moon. They were stuffed objects floating well above her head, suspending by strings. It was a baby’s mobile.

"He lied to us!" she thought. She was a baby. She seemed to confirm this by looking over and seeing bars, meaning she was in a crib. The room was decorated in pinks and purples. Toys were scattered throughout the room. There was a rocking chair in the corner. And a changing table. But something was off about it. Everything seemed huge. Well, not huge to her, but much bigger than would be necessary for a baby.

She sat up, and when she did so, she noticed her breasts were still very much there, stretching out the cloth fabric that covered them. Her movement caused the material to brush against her bare nipples, and while it wasn’t painful, she didn’t like the feeling.

So she wasn’t a baby, at least not in body. But she was certainly in a baby’s room. And as she examined her outfit, a pajama outfit decorated with a fruit pattern that had built in feet and mittens, she realized she was dressed like one as well. By this time she had felt the bulk around her hips, and now she could see it pushing the cotton fabric to its limits. But just to be certain, as if her brain couldn’t believe it just yet, she reached down and pushed on the offending object, her finger slightly indenting the cushy material. It was a disposable diaper, no doubt about it.

Surprisingly she didn’t panic. When the genie announced his intent to grant her wish, she remembered cartoons about people wishing to be younger who had been turned into babies by vindictive genies. So even when the genie had told her that wouldn’t be happening, she had still expected it. What she hadn’t expected was to find herself still in the same body but dressed this way.

Of course the day before she had momentarily assured herself that the man in the living room couldn’t be a genie because they didn’t exist. But considering that he had appeared out of nowhere and was able to control their speech and movement, she quickly became a believer. Waking up this way had only confirmed it.

Karen’s hands fumbled over her garment, searching for a way to remove it. She eventually felt the line of a zipper on her back, but when she followed it down to the base she discovered that the two zippers were locked together. The awkward angle meant she couldn’t get a good grip on it, and when she yanked, she found that it was locked tight.

She knew there had to be more than this. Sure, in this reality, or whatever it was, she appeared to live and dress like a baby. But she wasn’t acting like one. What was stopping her from getting up, finding the key to her lock, and changing clothes? She answered her own question even before she tried standing. She did manage to get to her feet, but before she could stretch to her full height, she came crashing down on her well-padded rear end. So she couldn’t stand on her own, which meant she couldn’t walk. She crawled over to the side of the crib and gripped the bars. Using that as leverage, she managed to pull herself to her feet. She was as wobbly as a drunkard, but as long as she held on, she could keep herself from falling.

The top of the crib only came up to her chin, but the restrictive garment would prevent her from raising a leg over it. Plus as soon as she took one foot off the ground she lost her balance and fell backwards. She might have been able to pull herself over the top, but chances were high that she’d either flop to the floor on the other side or that her weight would knock the entire crib over. Neither one sounded like a good option.

So she was stuck in the crib until someone let her out. But when her mother came in she could just explain to her that she didn’t want to be treated this way. That’s when another horrible thought crossed her mind. "I probably can’t talk," she said to herself. But to her surprise, her words were completely intelligible. She breathed a sigh of relief because so far this was the only thing going her way. There was a chance her mother wouldn’t believe anything she had to say, but at least she could try to reason with her.

"Moooom!" she shouted. Or at least that’s what she tried to shout. Instead it came out like "Mmmmmaaa!" The sound of the incoherent baby babble resonated in her ears. This time she tried to scream "No!" but it sounded more like "Gaaa!" The frustration and fear firmly took hold of Karen and she continued to scream nonsensical words that eventually morphed into cries and wails. It was too much to handle, and soon she was crying just like a little baby, tears falling from her eyes. She felt snot dripping onto her lip and, having no other option, wiped it away with the mitten of her pajamas.

The door opened and Karen’s mother, Naomi, entered wearing her nightgown, her hair a total mess. She looked the same as she had the day before when Karen had last seen her. Naomi looked at Karen with concern and sweetly said, "Aww, what’s wrong baby girl?"

Karen subsided her crying slightly, took a breath, and tried once more to talk. But again it only came out as a string of gibberish. This resulted in more tears from Karen, who was beginning to realize there was no escaping this reality. Her mother stepped over to the crib, leaned as far over the rail as she could, and took a big sniff.

"Not dirty. Are you wet?" Karen shook her head desperately, but her mother either didn’t notice or didn’t believe her because she stuck her hand through the bars and grabbed Karen’s crotch, giving it a squeeze. It happened too quickly for Karen to move out of the way, but she did so immediately, feeling completely violated and totally embarrassed.

"Well if you are it’s not too much. And usually you get pee pee all over the place, don’t you? But let’s see." Naomi went over to a shelf, a shelf that Karen would have no chance of reaching on her own, and pulled down a key. Then she unlatched the crib and lowered the side. Karen tried to back away, but there was nowhere to go. Her mother reached over and grabbed her, pulling her closer. Karen wasn’t sure if it was her imagination, but it had seemed as if her mother had been able to move her much more easily than normal. She was quickly flipped to her back as Naomi removed the lock and slid up one of the zippers. Karen felt the cool air on her exposed back and realized that she was that much closer to hopefully getting out of her diaper. So as much as she didn’t want to be naked around her mom, she didn’t resist when Naomi pulled the garment off her.

Karen’s first instinct was to cover her bare breasts, but her mother was faster. Naomi lightly touched one of Karen’s hard nipples and said with a smile, "I know you weren’t cold in there. Baby must like the way this feels." She moved her hand away, and Karen promptly covered up, but she was still scared by what had just occurred.

Karen was still covering herself when her mother pulled the pajamas down to her ankles and then reached towards her crotch once again. But this time she stuck a couple of fingers between Karen’s thighs and into the side of the diaper, checking for wetness. The intrusion was bad enough, but as she pulled her fingers out they brushed up against the lips of Karen’s vagina. This world was a nightmare, and she’d only just woken up.

"All dry," Naomi said, not understanding why Karen continued to cry. Then she noticed Karen’s runny nose and grabbed a cloth from the nearby dresser, using it to wipe Karen’s face. "Oh, baby’s all stopped up. I know just what you need." Karen knew whatever it was she wouldn’t like it, and she was right. Her mother returned from rummaging in a dresser drawer holding a rubber object that had a bulb on one end and a nozzle on the other. Though they’d fallen out of practice, Karen recognized it as something used to clear out babies’ noses. Except this one was sized for her.

She shook her head frantically and tried to crawl away, but Naomi sat down in the crib next to her and held her tight. "Now hold still so Mommy doesn’t hurt you. I know you don’t like it, but it will make you feel better." Karen realized her mother had said this as if she expected her to understand it and comply. So in this world she could understand adult language but just couldn’t speak it? She didn’t have time to ponder that because her mother brought the object closer to her nose. Karen flailed her head around. Her mother moved her hand from around Karen’s waist to her head, trying to hold it still. One of her fingers accidentally found it way partly into Karen’s mouth, and in her mad thrashing, she bit down without thinking about it.

"Ow!" Naomi shouted, yanking her hand back. Karen turned to look at her. She felt bad for hurting her, but there was no way to convey that. Naomi’s loving eyes turned cold as she stared Karen down. "So you’re going to be a bad baby today, huh? Sometimes I think you’ll never learn."

Naomi sat the object down on the crib and stood back up. Karen was smart enough to realize that even if she’d won this small victory, she wasn’t out of trouble yet. She remembered that her mother now had Gabe’s mother’s personality when it came to dealing with children, and visions of all the spankings he’d endured filled her head. And if her mother still saw her as a nineteen-year old misbehaving baby, the spanking she could endure might be quite significant.

But instead of spanking her, Naomi reached out and wrapped her arms around Karen’s waist. Confirming Karen’s earlier suspicions, her mother easily lifted her out of the crib and held her on her hip as she carried her across the room. Karen squirmed and struggled. She still had her full strength which made her a handful for Naomi to deal with, but eventually she found herself being laid down on top of the changing table. Her legs brushed against something hanging from the ceiling, and which she looked she saw two cuffs hanging from long ropes that were attached to some kind of pulley.

Karen didn’t have time to think about this though as a strap was pulled across her waist and fastened. She continued to struggle as her mother grabbed one of her wrists and forced it into a cuff attached to the side of the table, rendering it mostly useless as she could now only moved it a few inches. "If you don’t behave right now things will be even worse." The coldness in her mother’s voice made Karen stop struggling. She let her other wrist be cuffed to the table without a fight.

Naomi walked away for a moment and returned with the nose-cleaning apparatus. "Now hold still," she commanded. It was mostly unnecessary as Karen couldn’t move much of anywhere. Her mother held put one hand on her forehead, holding it down as she brought the rubber item close to her face. Karen steeled herself as her mother stuck the nozzle into her nose and squeezed. The feeling wasn’t painful, but it was strange and uncomfortable. Karen couldn’t help but struggle, much to Naomi’s annoyance and she continued to squeeze the bulb and suck the mucus out of Karen’s nose.

She withdrew it from Karen’s nostril and went for the other one, but Karen wasn’t about to let it happen so easily this time. She fought against her mother’s hands, twisting her head back and forth. But her mother prevailed, inserting the nozzle into her nose and squeezing. Perhaps this side of her nose was even more stopped up, but the sensation was worse. Karen struggled and kicked her legs, which were still unrestrained. Without thinking she brought her knees up close to her chest, and when she did so, she hit her mother right in the ribs.

Naomi let out a gasp and backed away from the table. "Bad baby girl!" She slapped Karen hard on the side of the thigh, enough to make her let out a yelp of her own. "I see you’re going to be a fussy baby today." With expert precision, as if she had done it thousands of times, Naomi locked Karen’s ankles into the cuffs suspended from the ceiling. The ropes still had a lot of slack, so Karen was still able to kick her legs around. That is until her mother pressed a button on the wall. The pulley system sprang to life, lifting Karen’s legs in the air and spreading them apart. She tried to bring her legs back together, but the ropes held them tight. Karen looked at the control panel, which featured a number of buttons. She wondered what all of them were for and hoped she wouldn’t find out.

Naomi stepped in between her legs, now in no danger of getting kicked. She undid the tapes on Karen’s diaper one at a time. Karen looked at her mother with pleading eyes, begging her not to do this, knowing that trying to talk was pointless. But her mother continued anyway, and soon all of the tapes were loose. Naomi grabbed the top of the diaper and pulled it forward, leaving Karen completely naked in front of her mother for the first time in many, many years, and certainly for the first time in such a humiliating position.

Karen was able to lift her head high enough to see another change this reality had brought. She normally trimmed her bikini line, but that was about it. Now, however, her crotch was practically bald, only showing the faint sign of hair beginning to return. Her mother must have been looking at the same thing, because she ran her fingers over Karen’s crotch. Karen was surprised at how sensitive it felt and disgusted that it was her mother causing those feelings. "You’re getting a little stubbly," Naomi said matter-of-factly. She returned to the dresser, and Karen watched as she plugged a small ceramic box into the power outlet. Karen didn’t have time to wonder what it was because her mother returned to her side and said the words that sent a chill down her spine. "Okay baby, time for your first punishment." Karen squirmed helplessly as her mother pressed two buttons on the panel, one after the other. Her ankle cuffs were pulled together, but any relief she got was short-lived as the pulley moved across the ceiling, back over her head, lifting her legs until she was forced to bend her knees against her chest. Her butt was completely exposed, and though she could move it back and forth, she couldn’t escape what was coming.

"I know you’re not feeling well, but that’s no excuse to act up like you’ve been doing. But because you’re a little sick, I won’t use the paddle." Karen supposed this was a good thing, but the force with which her mother slapped one of her butt cheeks made her think it couldn’t have been much worse either way. The sharp stinging pain made Karen cry out. She momentarily forgot that she couldn’t talk and pleaded with her mother to stop, her desperate cries of nonsense mixing with cries of pain as her mother alternated between her two cheeks, and though she wasn’t aiming for it, occasionally hitting the bottom of her vagina. Karen lost count of the swats and was quickly reduced to a sobbing mess. Her loud adult-level wails echoing throughout the room. If her nose hadn’t just been cleaned out, it surely would be now.

Naomi finally stopped the spanking and looked down at Karen, who stopped wailing but continued crying to herself. "That’s it," her mother said, but not in a reassuring tone. She was angry. She reached beneath the changing table and came back up with something Karen had never seen before, but she quickly figured out what it was: a pacifier with a pink leather strap attached to it. Except the bulb on this pacifier was huge, bigger than both of her big toes put together. Naomi hovered it over Karen’s mouth, but Karen kept her lips sealed. Naomi responding by slapping her butt again, this time putting her flat palm against both cheeks at once. Karen’s automatic response was to gasp, and when she opened her mouth, Naomi shoved the pacifier in.

Karen tried to spit it out, but her mother held it tight. Her cries and desperate pleas were drowned by the bulb, reduced to nothing more than muffled mumbling. Her mother wrapped the strap around her head, pulled her hair out of the way, then pulled it tight. Karen heard a lock snap into place. Even with her hands free she wouldn’t be able to get this off. She used her tongue, trying to push the bulb out, but there was absolutely no slack on the strap. Her efforts were only rewarded with a little bit of drool making its way out of the sides of her lips.

"There. Much better." Naomi said before returning to the spanking. Karen was surprised how well the pacifier drowned out the sound, because even though she was screaming at the top of her lungs, she was barely making any noise at all. Karen’s throat was sore by the time her mother finally finished the spanking, and she couldn’t really see that well because of the tears in her eyes. Her mother tenderly wiped her eyes with a finger and gave Karen’s butt a gentle pat, though after what it had just endured, it was still enough to hurt a bit. Karen was sure her ass must be as red as a firetruck.

"That was for biting Mommy," Naomi said. Karen didn’t care what it was for, until she remembered that she had also kicked her mother. Was there still going to be a punishment for that? "Now let’s see if you’re really sick or just acting poopy." "Acting poopy" was a phrase her mother used to describe people who were in bad moods, but at the moment it reminded Karen that she was trapped in diapers and might very well be acting poopy later. But at the moment she had other concerns. Her mother once again reached under the changing table, down to the shelf that held all sorts of horrors for Karen. When she popped back up, Karen’s eyes went wide in fright, and despite her sore throat, she continued to scream.

What set Karen off wasn’t the thermometer that her mother was holding, though it was three times as thick and twice as long as a normal one. No, what made her panic was the tub of Vaseline in Naomi’s other hand. Considering that and the gag in her mouth, Karen knew exactly where that thermometer would be going. "As bad as you’re acting I shouldn’t even give you any of this," Naomi said, indicating the Vaseline. Karen hadn’t thought the situation could get any worse, but the idea of her mother just pushing that thing up her butt without any preparation sounded pretty awful. So considering the alternative, Karen was glad that her mother set the tub of Vaseline on the table next to her and dipped the thermometer into it. But she was much less glad when Naomi did the same thing with one of her fingers.

 

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