Out of Body Experience, by Morpheus

Chapter 2
Out of Body Experience, Part 2

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Chapter Description: By Morpheus

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By Morpheus

Why pause here, you may ask? Well I’ll tell you. I was just remembering exactly how I felt as I entered that room in Lizzy’s body and saw myself lying peacefully on a hospital bed with IV’s and drips, and everything else you could imagine, that seemed to be connected to every visible orifice in my body.

If Lizzy had been old enough to drink then it would have been a sobering experience for me.

You know how it is when you sometimes see a photograph taken at an angle, from where you would never normally see yourself - not even in a mirror. Or listening to a recording of your voice and thinking that it doesn’t sound at all like you. Well, that is what I felt as I saw my unconscious body through Lizzy’s eyes!

I had gotten used to seeing my prostrate body during my OBE’s but it was still like looking at yourself in the mirror (almost), except that things weren’t reversed - I had invariably been lying prone, in the same position as when I departed from it. This was different. This was seeing myself from a completely changed perspective. As I have mentioned already, Lizzy’s eyes were sharper, the colour spectrum was subtly different and I was somewhat lower down as I looked at my body. But who am I trying to kid - it was really none of those things!

This was about looking at the grey and ashen skin on my face.

This was about looking at my unblinking eyes as my body lay there, unmoving!

This was all about looking at myself and appearing, to all intents and purposes, to be dead!

It was later that I found out my body was in a coma (tell me something I didn’t know!) and that I had a broken neck and suspected paralysis. They thought it was unlikely that I would ever fully recover again, and the prognosis looked bleak!

For the first time since the car crash, it really sunk home to me that I could have been killed - me - Howard James Cooper - dead!

I felt lost and completely out of control and needed to do something desperately, to make that semi-corpse come alive again. Lousie needed me - Lizzy and Jerry needed me - I had to do something - I needed to get my soul back into my body and make things well again!

I tried to put myself into the trance-like state that facilitated the OBE but couldn’t - it wasn’t my mind that was in control of this body’s brain and I couldn’t exert enough influence on Lizzy to allow her to do so. The influence I did exert though, was enough to upset Lizzy and she, again, felt my presence!

As before, they thought her cries of daddy were those of concern and upset at seeing my body lying there, not realising that she could feel my very presence inside of her. I decided to back off again, to let her calm down and try to leave her body later - maybe when she was asleep.

I had always been a very rational and pragmatic individual, very quick to adapt to any given situation - it had always been one of my key strengths - but this was testing my ability to the limit. There was nothing I could now do to help the situation so I decided to become a passive passenger again and, ever being the optimist, thought I would take this unique opportunity to feel life through Lizzy’s eyes. I hoped, however, that this opportunity would only be for a ’limited period only’ and that everything would soon return to normal.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I spent the whole of the remaining day sharing Lizzy’s world and made some intriguing discoveries, and even had some fun in the process!

It is one of life’s great mysteries how you can so easily forget what it is like to be a child - how you feel when you are small in a land of giants. I can vividly remember being six and having my father carry me on his shoulders around the room and of being petrified in case I fell all that long, long way down to the floor. I can remember trying to imagine how it would have felt to be as tall as he was, to walk around in his world seeing things from his lofty position. Of course when you do reach those dizzy heights you have grown up to it slowly and you end up forgetting that sense of wonderment and adventure you held as a child.

Well I was indeed blessed. I got to feel that wonderment all over again as Lizzy, unknowingly, took me on a trip back to childhood. The wonderment however, was twofold this time - this time I was getting to experience it as a girl!

The experience overwhelmed me and, despite the reason I was getting this opportunity, I was actually starting to enjoy it. It was all of the little things that engraved themselves on mind, and I wanted them to be engraved so that I could take them with me when I returned!

Things like stepping outside into the warm summer air and feeling the light summer breeze caressing my bare legs as Louise took us home, after the visit. Oh I had always worn shorts in the warm weather, both as a man and also as a child. This was different though. Lizzy’s legs were truly bare with no trace of hair on them - also her skin was much softer and more delicate. There was also that exposed feeling that came from wearing her dress, and feeling the warm breeze make it’s way much higher and more completely than I had ever felt with shorts. It felt glorious!

Things like Lizzy sitting on one of the hessian-backed chairs in the hospital, and feeling the rough fabric irritate the back of her thighs, then feeling her lift her leg and of her scratching the offending area.

Things like just walking down the road and feeling the emptiness between her legs. I now realised that I had always been, unconsciously, aware of what lay between my legs when I had been in my own body. I liked to think that was because I was well hung but knew, deep down, that all men are constantly aware of their genitalia - they are always in the way, nudging and reminding you in whatever you do in a way that a woman can never truly appreciate. Whenever you sit down you can feel them - whenever you walk they are always begging for attention - whenever you see a pretty girl they always remind you of their presence, usually in the most embarrassing way. I had never realised how much they were always there until now, now that I no longer had them!

I could remember sometimes, when I had been a man, of experimenting - seeing if I could sit with my legs tightly pressed together like a girl’s, it had always looked so uncomfortable. I could never really achieve this feat for more than a short time as it had always hurt me and had felt extremely awkward, and it always amazed me at how easily females could achieve this Herculean feat, apparently without effort!

Now I knew - I was as aware of the gap as I had previously been of the constant presence of my cock and balls and I have to say, I felt liberated - it felt good (well, at least for a while anyway)!

It felt so nice to sit down and feel the flatness, and smoothness, that now existed between my legs. It felt so free to be unencumbered by the material that used to cling to my legs.

I am sure that what made it such a blast was the fact that I believed I would be returning to my own body shortly, and that this was a one-off deal. Being honest with myself though, I couldn’t deny my feelings about this - I felt envious for the first time, envious of how sensual the life of a girl must be and I wanted the experience to last a little longer!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

After we had returned home, I found that the rest of the day went fairly quickly for me; everything still seemed fresh, new and exciting! The only downside to this was seeing what the injuries to my own body, and my current comatose state, were doing to my wife and family and I did miss the special kind of intimacy that I had come to take for granted, with her. They were, understandably, taking this very hard indeed - the family was just not complete. My own body was lying in a hospital bed for some indeterminate period of time and Jerry was also there until his broken arm healed enough for him to return home.

Seeing Louise’s all pervading gloom certainly took the shine off of any feelings of pleasure I was having, and I was determined to try and return back to my own body this evening, I couldn’t see them suffer any more than they had to!

I had managed to keep my mind occupied whilst Lizzy took a bath, I didn’t want to invade on her privacy to that level, and was very relieved when she was put to bed. What I hadn’t expected though was to find Lizzy lying in my own bed, next to her mother. It made sense - they were both upset and I was sure that Louise, especially, would want the comfort and company that being with her daughter would provide.

I felt Lizzy drop off to sleep about five minutes after her eyes had closed, and listened carefully until I could hear the regular breathing of her mother before I made an attempt to leave her body again. This gave me the chance to see if I could assume some degree of control although I had felt somewhat nervous in case I failed. I started to wonder whether there would be a physical limit to how far I could travel - I knew that the hospital was about seven miles away and I just hoped that this wouldn’t be a problem for me!

Casting these thoughts aside I tried to let myself slide into a trance, trying to create the most sympathetic spiritual condition possible as I had done so many times before. I could still feel Lizzy’s presence here, despite the fact that she was sleeping, and - for the first time - I entered her higher state of consciousness, hoping that I could assume enough control to complete my task. I tried to concentrate and relax simultaneously, and I willed myself towards the ceiling as I had always done before.

I waited expectantly, for the anticipated feeling of lightness and floating.

This time there was nothing! Zilch! Zero!

I felt more than a little shaken and tried to compose my inner being so I could make another attempt.

Same result, nothing!

Within those few fleeting seconds my despair was total - I now, intuitively, knew that I would never be able to leave my body in the way I had been used to. Although Lizzy remained asleep, even then it was still her body and her mind that controlled it. My influence was minimal and I knew that it would never be enough to allow me to exploit my natural gift.

If you can try to imagine how it must feel to suddenly lose your eyesight, or to one day find yourself deaf or to not be able to speak - that was how I felt at that moment. If I could no longer leave my, or Lizzy’s, body then that would be the equivalent effect to me, of losing one of my basic senses!

On a far deeper level I also now knew that Lizzy had no psychic ability whatsoever, I could not sense it anywhere. If that was the case then I reasoned that it could mean that it must be something physical that allowed an individual to enjoy this freedom - something physical that she did not possess.

Surprisingly enough, this was only a secondary thought for me, until I realised that if I could no longer perform this - for me - basic function then I was, effectively, trapped here - trapped as a passenger in my daughter’s body!

It proved to be a long night until I finally managed to join Lizzy in her welcome oblivion.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When I woke the next day, at the same time as Lizzy this time thank God, I was no longer so enthusiastic about seeing life from her perspective. Where, before, I had been a reluctant but curious passenger within her mind and body - and everything had seemed like a big adventure, I now felt like a prisoner, a prisoner in a small cell - totally dependant on Lizzy for everything!

I knew that I would have to attempt to leave Lizzy’s body again and I also knew that it was going to be an attempt that was doomed to failure. I could no longer shed any tears from my own volition, but I could feel the same sensation of anguish and pain that would have accompanied them.

Would I be sentenced to spend the rest of my life in Lizzy’s body and if so, how would I cope?

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Well, as I had predicted, all the subsequent attempts I made to leave Lizzy’s body failed. I hoped that it was not a self-fulfilling prophecy and that I had not convinced myself that it could not be achieved and therefore had made it impossible to do so, but I knew that this was not the case. I simply did not have enough control of Lizzy to meet the physical aspects of the transformation.

I retreated entirely into the background for a few days, unwilling to intrude into Lizzy’s young life and unwilling to face my predicament.

I had spent my time listening in to all of her thoughts and, sometimes, opening my spiritual eyes through her own but, in the main, I was taking little notice of them.

What finally snapped me out of, what I think was an understandably self- indulgent mood, was Lizzy herself. After a few days I had started to get bored and I started to tune in a little closer to her thoughts. I had not been surprised when I had found her thinking and worrying about me. She seemed to be sad, both for myself and for the rest of the family, but the pervading impression I got from her was one of curiosity - I think that she may have been aware of my presence and started to feel excited!

What to do, what should I do?

Should I let her know that I was all right, and that I was still here with her, or should I just remain in the background - leaving her to grow up unencumbered by what may prove to be an unfair burden on her?

It was a tough call to make but I decided to compromise. I would fade into the background for now, but would try and re-assure her while she was asleep, hopefully she would think she was dreaming but I would be still able to influence her thoughts and encourage her when it was needed. I felt proud of myself as I felt her mental probing cease, proud of my totally unselfish act that was born out of love for my daughter. In truth it hadn’t been that hard a decision to make - when you truly love someone you would be prepared to make any necessary sacrifice for their well-being.

Having made that decision I too found things easier to bear. I may never get back to my own body but I could still enjoy my family - it could have been far, far worse - I could have been dead!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Life went on and as the weeks turned into months I started to get used to living my life through Lizzy, and I was now finding it hard to know what were my own thoughts and what were hers. Oh of course, that is a bit of poetic license but what I’m trying to say, I suppose, is that the daily reality of living my life through Lizzy’s body was starting to seem almost normal.

I deliberately deluded myself that anything she did was what I wanted to do myself, anything she thought I wanted to think, and anything she felt then I wanted to feel it too, until I reached the point where it no longer mattered. Sure, intellectually I knew that this wasn’t the case but if I thought about it too much then I think I would have gone insane!

That was how I accepted the lack of direct control I had over her actions and this is how it continued for another three years. Yes three years had gone by until everything changed again.

It had been fascinating experiencing the joys and trauma’s of growing up with, and as, a young girl starting to enter her puberty. There were far too many new and interesting ways of looking on life from this new perspective to relate to you but I’ll try to highlight a few.

Of course, the physical changes were the most obvious, and the easiest for me to describe but it wasn’t just these things that stood out for me. It was things like the friendship that Lizzy had with the two little girls (little girls! Who am I calling a little girl, I was one too now, to all extents and purposes) next door. The lack of aggression in their play, the fun we derided from simple things like putting on lipstick, dressing up and putting on Louise’s oversized shoes before strutting around the room feeling really sophisticated and grown up. All of these things were totally new to me and great fun. Maybe I was finding it far easier to accept this feminine existence than I would ever have thought possible but I no longer cared.

When the physical changes hit however, boy did they ever hit!

The most earth shattering time for me, was when I, I mean Lizzy, hit puberty for her first time. Of course, for me, it was the second time but Jesus, what a difference to what, in retrospect, seemed such a simple transition from boy to man. I can certainly empathise with Louise now in how she used to suffer during her menstrual cycle!

The first signs of Lizzy’s impending womanhood were the itching she had started to get around her chest when she had just turned twelve. I was fascinated to see her swollen nipples when she had a bath and, also, the puffiness around them. I had long stopped trying to melt into the background during her more intimate moments. After all, I felt like I was part of her in every way - and I no longer felt like a voyeur, or an intruder. God, it was wonderful to feel her excitement as she anticipated the puffiness developing into breasts and all the joys that developing into a woman would bring her. Her innocence and naiveté moved me more than words can describe, and I can remember feeling incredibly sad knowing that this excitement would not last for very long as she matured into full womanhood.

Her first period was a joy for her and she had been so excited as she shared the moment with Louise when it first arrived - this was, obviously, an incredibly important event for a female, and marked a girl’s entry into that exclusive club of womanhood. My sadness for her was soon realised as by the third or fourth cycle she had gotten fed up of the cramps and the accompanying moods that they brought with them, and was soon cursing their arrival every month.

Of course, along with puberty came boys, or at least the ever- increasing interest that Lizzy had in them. I think that this was even harder for me to come to terms with than either her menstruation, her growing breasts (an interesting handful by now), or any other of the feminine changes I had shared with her up until now!

I could feel and hear her thoughts when she looked at a cute boy (see, see how naturally it’s become to think about boys that way) and for the first time in nearly three years, I began to feel an identity crisis. This was similar to my earlier experiences with her, as I anticipated her following through with some of her thoughts. I needn’t have worried though; I soon started to enjoy the experience despite my reservations.

I can vividly remember Darren, a really handsome boy a little older than Lizzy, trying to get Lizzy on a date and her reaction to it. Where I would, in the reversed circumstances, have felt a hard-on I now felt a variety of new sensations. I could feel Lizzy’s nipples harden. I could feel a warm sensation from around my groin that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside of me (later manifesting itself as a sticky dampness). Strangest of all though, I felt a dizzy light-headedness - similar to what I had experienced after receiving a burst of pure oxygen when I had been mountain-climbing when I was younger.

Her reaction was amazing and I was a little shocked at the charming naiveté she felt as her fantasies revolved around the romance of the situation and the sense of power she felt from knowing that she was attractive and desirable to someone. This was directly opposed to the raw lust that I knew that Darren must have felt. Maybe this, more than anything else, describes the difference between the genders - it was certainly the single most important thing that I can remember!

Of course she accepted - well he was pretty cute!

Going dating gave a whole dimension to ’dressing up’ for both Lizzy and myself. Lizzy, because she had a whole new reason and purpose driving her motivations, and myself, well - I knew what would be going through the other guys mind when he saw me/her so I felt a little like a tethered goat. What I didn’t quite appreciate at the time, was that this emotion - this whole feeling of vulnerability - was actually self-induced and, ultimately, pleasurable for her. This time she was dressing up to go out with a boy and, this time, it was for real!

Clothes were chosen to be subtly revealing and designed to leave the boy begging for more. Make-up was chosen to highlight the areas she wanted him to notice and to disguise those she didn’t. I knew because I was privy to her thoughts.

The feeling of the cool evening air on Lizzy’s legs as the light breeze played around her legs. The swish of the dress as it brushed against her nylons as she walked along the street, holding Darren’s hand. The smell of a male, as Lizzy rested her head on Darren’s shoulders at the end of the evening. All of this was new and each memory precious.

As Lizzy kissed Darren goodnight I started to understand the attraction that a girl might feel for a boy, experiencing all of these things through her senses.

It was a real buzz and, as Lizzy’s dates became more frequent, I began to anticipate each new date with an increasing excitement.

Well, nothing really changed very much with this situation over the next year, as Lizzy’s life became my life and everything started to become routine. Things would not stay this way however, as a new upheaval to this cosy state of affairs hit us all.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Throughout this period my families’ visits to see my body, frequent at first, had tailed away as they accepted the fact that I might never wake up again. However much they still loved me, my body’s condition made it too painful for them to keep torturing themselves this way, and I was grateful when only Louise kept up any sort of regular visit and even these were few and far between. I had found it too much to bear myself, having this constant reminder of what had been lost! I wasn’t to have known then though, that I was about to be given a chance to return back to my own body, and it was a chance that I would rather have not had!

Lizzy was thirteen now, and we had been regularly dating a boy called Barry of whom we had grown particularly fond. He was tall, dark and had the most kissable lips! I much enjoyed the stolen kisses, as well as the hurried fumblings, in the odd moments that we managed to get alone. It was one day, as we were looking after his younger brother Stephen, seven, that everything changed.

Oh, it had all seemed so simple at first. We were sitting outside on a bench, overlooking the front garden, and Barry was a little drowsy from the heat of the warm afternoon sun. Stephen was playing on his small bike and showing off when, all of a sudden, he lost control and went hurtling into the road.

Lizzy’s heart stopped for a second and then she leapt from the bench and dashed across the sidewalk to try and grab him before any oncoming traffic could reach him. Barry was sitting up, and wondering what the hell was going on and the next thing we knew, Lizzy was turning around to see a small pick-up bearing down on her. She only had time to push Stephen away before we were hit and Lizzy was thrown into the air, landing behind the slowing vehicle.

After that - Silence.

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