“I think I want to date Rick when I’m older,” Lizzy declared the next day.
Sarah and Jenny exchanged glances and looked at her.
“Um, you’re going to be a little old for him,” Jenny said.
“I know!” Lizzy said. “But he’s really cute, and I can’t stop thinking about him recently.”
“Sounds like someone has a crush,” Sarah said. “Jenny used to have a crush on him as well.”
Jenny tried to shake off the accusation. “That was a long time ago! I’m over it by now.”
Lizzy’s interest was piqued. “What kind of girls does he like? Do you think he’d like me when I’m older? I know there’s going to be a bit of an age gap, but I’m sure he won’t mind. A 16 year old dating a 19 year old or whatever isn’t *that* weird, right?”
“Uh, Lizzy, you’re not exactly 19,” Sarah said.
“Whatever!” Lizzy said. “I don’t want to get bogged down with technicalities. What kinds of girls does he like?”
“Well,” Jenny said. “He seems to have a thing for cheerleaders.”
“Okay…” Lizzy said. “Anything else?”
“He’s into ditzy blondes,” Sarah interjected.
“What do you mean?” Lizzy said curiously.
“You know, girls without much going on up here,” Sarah pointed to her head. “It’s why he’d never date Jenny, she’s too smart for him.”
“Hey, you’re being unfair to him!” Jenny said. “I mean, sure, most of the girls he’s dated haven’t had much substance to them, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.”
“Oh, come on!” Sarah snapped. “You just can’t see it because you’re still blinded by your old crush on him. He has a type, and it’s ‘body impressive, brain optional.’”
Lizzy nodded, “So he prefers carefree girls who don’t take school too seriously?”
“Woah, there!” Sarah said. “Slow down, Lizzy. You’re not thinking about trying to change yourself for him, are you?”
“You are!” Sarah said. “Don’t do that, Lizzy. No boy is worth throwing away your future for.”
“But I already have my future!” Lizzy countered. “It’s not like our parents’ house will suddenly disappear if I use this time being younger to really think about what I want out of life. I’m going to poof older any day now!”
Sarah wasn’t so sure. Her mom was a self-employed business consultant, which had come in handy because it meant she didn’t have to answer to anyone over her three days of missed work so far. But if her mom brought this new attitude to her work, she wasn’t sure where things would end up for her. They had done pretty well since dad’s passing, but only because her mom was such a hard worker.
“Sarah, don’t worry about Lizzy,” Jenny said. “Lizzy, it’s totally normal to feel this way about a cute boy or girl. Embrace your sexual feelings - explore them. You shouldn’t feel like your body is dirty or shameful. Sex is great, and when you have big boobs and an amazing ass again, I’m sure you’ll get whatever guy you have your eyes on.”
“Wait, how do I look when I’m older?” Lizzy asked. “Do my boobs really fill out?” She cupped her modest breasts.
Jenny wagged a finger. “Ah, ah, ah. Patience. You’ll be your old sexy self in no time. In the meantime, embrace the fact that women are sexual beings. Masturbation, porn, casual sex, sex before marriage - it’s only boring old religious people who judge you for these kinds of things. You’re not going to be a boring old religious person when you’re old again, are you?”
“No way!” Lizzy exclaimed. “I’m going to be cool like you! But, uh, what kind of porn do you watch, Sarah?”
Sarah stammered. “Well, uh, that is. I mean, watching porn is totally okay, but it’s kind of-”
Jenny elbowed Sarah in the ribs. “What Sarah means is, she’d be happy to show you the kind of porn she watches. Wouldn’t you Sarah?”
Sarah nodded meekly, and went to get a tablet. She pulled up Pornhub, and showed it to Lizzy.
“This is, uh, Pornhub,” Sarah said. “There’s all sorts of stuff on here.”
Lizzy took the tablet and started scrolling. A look of mild disgust played across her face.
“No, no, no!” Jenny said. “Sex is perfectly natural - the human body is nothing to be ashamed of, Lizzy. Here, click that video.”
Lizzy did so, and a badly acted porno started to play on the screen.
“Does, uh, does someone actually pay these people for this kind of acting?” Lizzy asked in a voice tinged with confusion and fascination.
“Yes,” Sarah said.
“In fact,” Jenny said. “Another important thing to remember is that sex work is real work! It’s empowering for people who chose to do it! You shouldn’t judge anyone for being a sex worker.”
Moans started to play out of the little tablet’s speaker.
Lizzy seemed to be mesmerized. It was her first time seeing people have sex.
“Anyways, you get the picture,” Sarah said, pressing pause. “You can explore this more in your free time. On your own.” It was just too weird watching porn with her mom.
Jenny smiled. “Lizzy, the important thing to remember is that sex is a lot of fun, and totally normal. You’re going to make a lot of boys very happy when you get older, and have a lot of fun doing it.”
“Yeah…” Lizzy said. “Yeah. Um, can I take the tablet to my room?”
“Sure,” Sarah said.
“I think we handled that pretty well!” Jenny said, after Lizzy had left the room.
“Yeah,” Sarah said. “Although I think you laid it on a little thick. And you didn’t mention anything about safe sex or healthy boundaries.”
Jenny crossed her arms. “I didn’t want to scare her! She’s going to hear that kind of thing from everywhere else in society, we’re just the countermeasure. She’ll figure all of that stuff out in good time.”
“I mean, where will she hear that kind of thing from?” Sarah said. “We’ve been brainwashing her the last three days, haven’t we?”
“Whatever!” Jenny said. “The point is that your mom is going to be the coolest mom ever when she’s older. Keep your eye on the prize, Sarah!”
“I guess…” Sarah replied.
A few minutes later, when Sarah and Jenny had moved on to other topics, there was a beep from Sarah’s pocket.
Sarah pulled out the Tamagotchi and looked at its display.
Age: 34 Weight: 130 lbs Happiness: 5/5 Hunger: 5/5 Discipline: 0/10
“She’s an adult!” Sarah said, breathing a sigh of relief.
“Let’s see how she turned out!” Jenny said.
They both rushed upstairs to Elizabeth’s room. They knocked.
“Come in!” she said.
They opened the door and found her totally naked, and looking a little dazed.
“Hi, Lizzy, uh, Elizabeth? How are you feeling?” Jenny asked.
“Call me Liz - Elizabeth sounds so, like, old!” Liz said. Then she scrunched up her face. “But I guess I am a bit on the older side. Oh, my head feels funny.” She held her temples and felt like her forehead was going to split open. She now had two sets of memories in her head, and it was difficult telling them apart.
“Mom, are you okay?” Sarah said.
“Mom?” Liz asked. “No way - I don’t want to have kids, I just want to have fun and party.”
“But you do have a kid,” Sarah said. “You have me - I’m your daughter. Do you remember?”
Liz shook her head a few times, but then her eyes focused and she looked at Sarah and Jenny.
“Of course I remember you guys! You two were my babysitters a long time ago. I learned so much from you two!” Liz said, smiling. “Oh, and… it’s a little fuzzy but I think I remember now. I *am* your mom, Sarah.”
“Oh, thank goodness!” Sarah said. “And you aren’t angry?”
“Why would I be angry?” Liz said.
“Well, you grounded me for smoking a cigarette,” Sarah said.
“Grounded?” Liz said. “That doesn’t sound like me at all. And why would I care if you smoke - all cool kids do!”
“Right, but then Jenny and I had to take care of you this week because of that magic tamagotchi you gave me.”
“Oh yeah!” Liz said. “I remember my plan now - I was going to teach you some kind of lesson with that tamagotchi. I knew it was magic. I knew you were a good girl at heart, and that you’d rise to the occasion and do a wonderful job when faced with real responsibility.”
“Wait, you really thought that?” Sarah said. “And this was all part of your plan?”
“It’s kind of fuzzy now, but I did think that. And I was totally right!” Liz exclaimed. “It feels so, like, great to be me again!”
She walked up to her vanity and admired herself.
“Oh, my hair is so boring!” Liz pouted. “I’ll have to fix that. But, what’s this? Welcome back ladies!” Liz cupped her breasts. “It’s so nice being sexy again! I can’t wait to find a guy to fuck!”
“Uh, mom, you’re not going to sleep with Rick are you?” Sarah asked uncertainly.
Liz gave a slight grin. “How stupid do you think I am, Sarah? I may be a highschool dropout, but even I know boys that young are off limits until they’re 18. No, I want a real man tonight.”
“Wait, back up,” Sarah said. “You’re not a high school drop out!”
“What do you mean?” Liz said, confused.
“You’re a business analyst!” Sarah said. “You had, like an MBA or something.”
Liz shook her head. “Why would I want to do a boring job like that? It doesn’t really, like, mesh with my vibe, you know?”
“What is your vibe?” Sarah asked.
“Well…” Liz giggled. “Recently I’ve been making a killing on OnlyFans, but I’ve been on all sorts of sites before that.”
“No mom!” Sarah said. “Here, let me show you.”
She grabbed her mom’s hand and dragged her to her office.
“See that on the wall! That’s your degree, mom. Surely you remember?” Sarah said desperate at this point.
“Oh, ew,” Liz said. “Why am I wearing that boring business suit?” She pointed at a picture next to the diploma.
“That’s how you always dress, mom,” Sarah said. “You’ve never had an OnlyFans.”
“Hm…” Liz said. “It’s a little fuzzy, but I guess you’re totally right. I used to be a boring bitch. Now I’m fun! Now I’m a party girl for life.” Liz hugged Sarah and Jenny tightly. “Thank you so much for raising me right this time!”
Sarah pushed Liz away. “No! This isn’t you. I just wanted to make you cool! I didn’t want to lobotimize you and turn you into a digital prostitute!”
Sarah walked to her room and slammed the door shut.
“Wow, this is totally awkward,” Liz said. “I know what will cheer her up!”
“A party?” Jenny sheepishly asked.
“A party!” Liz said.
* * *
Sarah started hearing music downstairs. What the fuck was happening?
She rolled out of bed, and peeked outside of her door. She heard a bunch of people talking.
“Hello?” Sarah asked curiously.
“Look who’s finally up!” Liz said excitedly. “This party finally has its VIP.”
“Mom, your hair!” Sarah said.
“You like it?” Liz said. “I got it bleached.”
“I can see that,” Sarah said. “You look so… blonde.”
“Ooh!” Liz squealed. “That’s exactly what I was going for. I did a lot of shopping to throw this party together. Did you know I didn’t have a single sexy outfit in my closet? I had to throw the whole thing out and start from scratch.”
Rick walked up to the two of them. “Wow, Sarah, your mom’s so cool! Why’d you hold out on us so long?”
Sarah’s shoulders drooped. “She is pretty cool, I guess.”
“Yay!” Liz said, hugging Sarah tightly again. “Does that mean you’re not angry at me anymore.”
“I wasn’t angry at-, uh, whatever,” Sarah said. “No mom, I’m not angry at you.”
“Awesome,” Liz said. “Oh, I almost forgot! I got some magic mushrooms while I was out. I figure you kids are going to do them anyways, so you might as well do them with a responsible adult in the house.”
“Your mom rocks!” Rick said. “I’m going to round up the gang for this.”
Sarah gave a weak smile. “You have fun with the magic mushrooms, mom. I’m going to take a walk.”
* * *
8 years later.
Sarah waited for her name to be said. All of her hard work had led to this.
“Sarah Butler!” the voice rang out over the crowd.
Sarah hitched up her graduation gown and walked proudly across the stage, scanning the crowd for her mom.
She wasn’t there.
Not that Sarah was surprised. Her mom had always been flaky. Well, not always...
Sarah had tried to figure out how to get the magic tamagotchi to work dozens of times over the year, and had done extensive research to figure out where her mom had gotten it. However, her mom was no help in this venture. That information was locked behind the fuzzy memories of her past life.
Sarah had been forced to give up eventually. Her main consolation was that her mom was happy, even after all these years.
Liz was in her early 40’s now, and the easy money of Only Fans was in her past. However, she was still getting regular work doing milf videos for anyone willing to pay the right price.
Sarah came home, and found her mom partying with a crowd of people she had never seen before. A typical Friday night.
As Liz watched Sarah decked out in her graduation cap and gown, come and go without saying a word, Liz turned to the man she had been flirting with all night and sighed.
“I don’t know where I went wrong raising that girl.”