Ben There

Chapter 10
More Early April; Water, Mud and Juice

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Chapter Description: Things might be going to fast for Ben, or maybe they're not.

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Chapter 10: More Early April; Water, Mud, and Juice

Ben was lying on the den floor watching TV with his daddy and reading a new manga (which was the funniest one he’d read in a long time) and playing with his old R2D2 (that had shown up when the rooms were being changed around) and drawing a picture of a drag racer when Kathy came in and said, "Benji, com’n up. Mama wants to wash our hair tonight."

"Tell her I’ll do it when I take a shower."

Kathy left, but his daddy laughed and said, "You don’t really think that’s going to work, do you, buddy?"

"No, but I can do it, and I want to finish this chapter of this book."

"But you have to admit, your mom does do it better. The book will wait for you. Run on up there."

"Yeah, but I can do it."

His daddy pushed pause on the TV and said, "Come here, big guy."

Ben climbed up into his daddy’s lap and, because he knew he was about to get a lecture, his thumb climbed up into his mouth.

"You’re mom said you almost admitted you liked her washing your hair the last time she did it. Did you like it?"

"Kinda."

"Benny, it’s not because you can’t do these things yourself, it’s because people like doing things for you."

"Because I’m all shrunken."

"That’s not why, Ben. They liked doing things for you before too, but you acted like people trying to help were being insulting, and I’m glad you’re getting smarter now. People like to be nice."

"I know that."

"I know you do, but sometimes you pretended to forget. No one gets by without some help sometimes, right? And it’s nice to get some even if you don’t need it."

"But I just don’t want to take a bath right now."

"No boy ever has wanted to take a bath right now, buddy, but we got to do what we got to do. So, be a big guy and get up there and let your mom baby you, OK?"

Ben snickered, and his daddy gave him a hug and said, "And, hey, that doesn’t count as my good-night hug. You have to come back for another before bed time, you hear?"

When he walked into the bathroom Kathy was already undressing, and his mom had started filling the tub, and Ben said, "We’re doing it together? Can’t we take turns?"

"Why?" his mom said, and he really didn’t have an answer. He remembered what had happened last Saturday, but the embarrassment and modesty that had caused his reaction then were gone.

Kathy said, "Com’on, Benji, it’ll be more fun when it’s not a big hurry."

His mom said, "Uh-huh, Benji, I’m going to let you two have a soak and wash time before I do your hair. Now, with bubbles or without?"

Ben had already started taking off his shoes and said, "Without. Boys don’t take bubble baths."

Kathy said, "With! We didn’t have any last time."

"Kathy’s right, Benji. You can take turns deciding on bubbles, but I know some boys who used to like taking bubble baths a whole lot."

"Take turns? You mean we’re gotta do this lots now."

"Sure. Almost every night. Tonight both of you need your hair washed, but I’ll start doing just one of you each night from now on."

"But I want ta take showers."

"You might have to when there’s a hurry, but you’ll see this is more fun, sweetie."

Once the tub was filled and the bubbles were almost spilling out over the top, their mom said, "Ok, all aboard, and don’t forget to wash, and you can do each other’s backs too if you want. Call me when the bubbles are almost gone, and I’ll do your hair."

Ben had forgotten how to play in a bubble bath, but Kathy hadn’t, and she made hats and shoulder pads and boats until Ben started to get the idea, and she showed him how to ’luxuriate’ like a movie star too. Then she made herself some giant bubble boobs to look like a movie star, and that reminded her of a related topic.

Kathy said, "Why didn’t you want anyone to see your wiener? I think it’s cute."

"Is not! And don’t talk about stuff like that, Kathy."

"Why not?"

"People just aren’t suppose’ to."

"Well, it’s cute. And why didn’t you want me to see it?"

"Just ’cuz, and boys’ things aren’t cute."

Kathy stood and leaned backwards and said, "Do you think my veer-gin-ah’s cute? I don’t mind if it is."

"We’re not supposed to talk about it! I don’t know. Yeah. OK, it is, ’guess."

"Well, mom says I have a cute bottom anyway. See."

Ben laughed when he was mooned with spread cheeks because butts are always funny, while those other parts never are, and he said, "Vicky says mine is uber-cute," and he mooned Kathy to the same degree.

"Yeah, it’s kinda cute, but not that hole in the middle. Blylyuck!"

Ben laughed more and said, "Yeah, same for yours! Double!" Then, because he feared they weren’t supposed talk about that either, he said, "Bubbles are running out. We better wash. Turn around. I’ll do your back like mom said."

They took turns washing selves and each other’s backs, and when Kathy had almost finished washing Ben’s back, she said, "Tilt forward some, so I can get lower." And then she goosed him with a wash rag.

And Ben squealed, jumped, splashed, laughed and yelled, "Don’t!

And Kathy said, "But I’m supposed to do your back, and that’s in the back."

"You’re not supposed to do that part!"

Kathy kept giggling and said, "Mama says to do that part very last, and Vicky does it like that, and she calls the wash cloth a goose rag after. That’s ’cuz ’goose’ means..."

"I know what it means! I’m not a little kid, Kathy!"

"Oh, yeah. Let’s call Mama for shampoos now."

After only three ’Mama’ shouts their mom came in, and the first thing she said was, "I would have wondered if you two had melted, because your both sweet enough to be made of sugar which melts in water, if it weren’t for all of that noise from in here. Benji, you’re by the tap, so you go first; squeeze in sideways in the tub."

After she knelt on the floor and had wet Ben’s head, she said, "Just how did this much water get on the floor? You two can be more careful than that."

Kathy, showing what a dummy she was, actually said to their mom, "That was from using the goose rag."

Her mama sighed and said, "That sounds like a Vicky term and, Benji, I don’t want you doing that to each other."

Ben said, "I didn’t do hers; she goosed me!"

Kathy said, "That’s what Vicky does sometimes, and you say to always make sure that part’s very clean very last."

Their mom said, "Yes, I say that, and sometimes other people might have to do it too, but I don’t want you doing that to each other -- Not any of those parts, because they are very tender. OK? Both of you?"

Ben said, "But I didn’t."

"I know. I’m just telling you for in the future, baby boy."

After she had washed Ben’s hair twice, and he was feeling all relaxed, and while she was letting the cream rinse sit, she opened the door and called Vicky.

Vicky came in ready for bed, in just panties and a T-shirt, and her mom said to her, "As soon as I finish Benji, could you take him out and dry him off. I need to have a private talk with Kathy."

Vicky said, "Sure! I can do dat."

Ben said, "I can dry me!"

His mom said, "You dry you, and Vicky can dry your hair. But stop crying about people doing things for you, Puppy. OK?"

Ben didn’t think he had been crying. He wasn’t a baby that cried at all, and he could do things, and that’s what he’d wanted to tell them, so how could that be crying?

Kathy said, "I think I’m in trouble ’cuz I used a goose rag on Benji."

Her mom said, "Not trouble, little girl, but we need to talk about it. And, Vicky, we need to talk about your teaching them words like that."

As soon as Ben was out of the tub, Vicky kissed him and said, "Gotcha between the eyes again, Benji!"

Ben rolled his eyes and snickered at his sister and her stupid kisses game all the time.

Vicky sat on the toilet lid and rubbed Ben’s head with a towel. She said, "Goose isn’t that bad a word, is it, mom? And I think Ben taught it to me a long time ago when we took baths together. Remember, Benji?"

Ben shook his head. He knew that he and Vicky had stopped bathing together about when he’d turned ten, but that seemed like a very, very long time ago to him now, and he couldn’t remember very much from back then.

When his hair was mostly dry, Vicky kissed him another time, and this time she patted his butt while she did it, and again she said, "Gotcha again!"

Ben said, "Com’on. Just stop it, Vicky. Geesh."

"Never. Never, not ever. Never." And she kissed him even again and yelled, "Gotcha again!" again even. And then she said, "Benji, how many times do I got to kiss you before you kiss me back?"

"Twenty-seven quadra-giga-zillion."

Vicky put her arms around his back, holding tight, and said, "Oh, Gosh, that’s a lot. I better get started. [kiss] One [kiss] two [kiss] three [kiss] four [kiss] five [kiss] six..."

Vicky didn’t have him in a head lock or anything, but she now out weighed him by forty pounds and was nearly a foot taller yet, if he’d wanted to, Ben could have struggled and escaped. However, it didn’t seem the time for that kind of fight, so Ben shook his head and pecked her cheek and said, "OK, there. Are you happy?"

Vicky said, "Well, it’s a start. Come on into my room, Benji. I have some things for you."

"Not more kisses!?!"

"No, nothing that good, but close. Now get a move on before I goose you like Kathy did."

Ben’s mom said, "You certainly will not do that, Vicky."

"OK, OK. Can I slap his little butt then?"

"No; you may swat his cute bottom though."

For the four days since the big room swap, Vicky had been going through all of her old dolls and stuffed animals, picking out those important enough and sophisticated enough to be on display in her new, real teenager’s room, and she had finally made the decisions. She had two boxes filled with those that didn’t make the cut.

She said, "You and Kathy can’t take them all, I want to keep some, but you can have three of those each, Benji."

"I don’t really need ’em. Boys don’t use those, you know?"

"Oh, don’t be so silly, Benji. They aren’t supposed to be useful. And think of Higgins and Carrot. I know they get along OK, but don’t you think they’d like some more friends to talk to while you’re at school?"

Ben snickered at the girl silliness, and Vicky pulled him into her lap where he almost fit.

"Besides, I think some of these used to be yours anyway, little bro."

Ben didn’t recognize any of the stuffed animals but, just like with the old bath times, that didn’t surprise him. There had always been times, which his parents told him about, that he couldn’t remember; he didn’t realize that for him to remember things that happened when he was nine was now like most nine year-olds remembering things from when they were three.

"I’m not your little bro, Vicky! I’m nearly three years older than you." Ben was naked, sitting on her lap on the floor, and even on top of her legs his head wasn’t above hers, but he saw no incongruity between all that and his statement.

"I know, Benji. And I know your gonna get big again and get bigger than me again soon, but can’t we pretend you’re my little brother while you’re shorter than me? Because the closest I’ve ever had is yucky old Kathy."

"Kathy’s not bad at all!"

"I’m kidding, I like Kath a lot too, but it’s not the same as having a little bro though. So, will you be my little bro for a little while, please, pleased, please. It wouldn’t be that bad, and just for pretend."

"OK. But only at home, not outside."

Vicky couldn’t see how that would work, how anyone outside would think he was older anymore, but she said, "Goody! I wonder if little bros are as ticklish as big bros have been lately," and she began tickling him until he rolled on the floor laughing.

Then she said, "But you have to pretend too. So call me Big Sis, OK?"

"No."

"Please, Benji. It’ll make it so much better."

"I don’t want to call you that."

"OK. But then take some of these animals off my hands at least. If you don’t, Kathy will get more, and soon she’s going to have to sleep in the hall because there won’t be room in her room for her."

Ben gave into Vicky, so that Kathy could still sleep in her bed, and he planned to just put them in his closet. He picked a panda and a very real looking grizzly bear. But he couldn’t make up his mind between the raccoon and a spotted, blue, very soft dog (that Higgins would like), and Vicky said, "I’ll tell you what, you can have both if you pretend with me and call me ’big sister’ sometimes."

"Ummm, really?"

"Yeah, little bro, even though it means I’ll have to give yucky Kathy something else too."

"OK, big sis, I guess."

"Yay! Gotcha right between the eyes, baby bro!" she said after she had kissed him again.

He didn’t think he’d agreed to ’baby bro’, but before he could point that out his mom came in, and she said, "Come on, Benji; it’s story time. It’s the little girl’s turn to read in her room tonight, sweetie."

As he carried his new menagerie to his room, with every intention of putting them into his closet, he named them Ting-Tang, Growl, Ringo and Henry. He remembered that Peter had about more than a dozen animals in his room, and Danny had a stuffed bear on top of one of his bookshelves, and Danny seemed cooler and cooler to him these days, even if he was just a little eleven year-old little kid, so he put the new animals on the bed with Higgins and Carrot, and thought they looked OK there.

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Ben’s daddy had an important golf game on Saturday (with a guy that give his company money to do stuff), and Ben almost, nearly had to go downtown and see an exhibit of antique dolls at the museum. Ben kept reminding everyone that he was nearly sixteen and didn’t need to go, but his mom kept saying he’d like it, but he knew she just didn’t want him at home alone because he was all shrunken.

However, Maggie saved the day. On Friday, as she was leaving, she said she wanted to rearrange the pantry and could never find the time during the week, so she wanted to come in on Saturday. Then Ben said he would help instead of go look at dolls all day long, and Maggie said he could help her as long as he found a friend to come over and keep him out of her hair; because a spider had landed on her head once, and she never wanted anything in her hair ever again!

Danny had a Boy Scout thing to do, so he settled on Peter, who was fun, even if he was only about the same age as Kathy.

Ben and Maggie had all of the cans off the pantry shelves when Peter arrived and, because he saw Peter everyday at school, Ben didn’t notice that the nine year-old was now an inch taller than he was.

Maggie said, "So, Petey, how are you these days, and how is that scamp that lives with you doing?"

"I ’K, ’guess. Do you mean Bobby?"

"And just how many scamps do you keep in your house?"

"He’s a pest but really funny."

"If they weren’t cute, big brothers would probably eat all baby brothers, huh?"

"Nah. ’Cuz they smell real funny and would probably taste awful."

Ben said, "You didn’t clean Peter’s bottom too, did you?"

Peter said, "What!?"

Maggie said, "No, I never had that privilege. I haven’t known Peter and Bobby as well as I do you, Bwana."

Peter said, "What are you talking about? No body cleans my but...bottom."

"Maggie said she cleaned the bottom of my other friend that came over."

Pete said, "Not mine! She just comes and visits with my nanny sometimes. And used to bring this stupid little girl with her."

Maggie smiled and said, "Monique is a long way from stupid, Petey, and you know it too, you do. But she may have cooties, I’ll own. Now you two go find a way to keep out of trouble while I clean up that mess Benji made in the pantry."

"You told me to do that!"

"I only said it was a mess, I did. Not that that was a bad thing."

Ben and Peter went upstairs to work on Ben’s Lego town, and then went into the yard and played with the soccer ball and played fetch with Laddie for a while.

When Maggie called them to lunch and as they sat down in front of their grilled cheeses, she said, "And I know both of you have sat at a table before and haven’t forgotten how to do it. Right, Bwana?"

"Yeah."

"So there will be no spills at lunch today. Right, Bwana?"

"OK, Maggie, OK."

"Why does she call you that all the time, Benji," Peter asked.

Ben didn’t answer him, instead he yelled, "Hey, Maggie, can we go to the park!?!"

"And what?" Maggie asked, "Look for salamanders, so you and Petey can get all covered in mud, like you did last week?"

"Well, yeah," Ben said.

"And then you would have to be banished to the back yard until Petey went home, because that bathroom barely withstood a boy and a girl hunter. It might not take two boy ones. Would you want to do that, Bwana Ben?"

"That’d be ’K," Ben said, getting a bit worried.

"And what do you think your mom would say to me, if I let you do that, Benji?"

"I don’ know."

"Petey, have you ever hunted salamanders? Ben’s only done it once, but he caught four on his very first time, and brought home a ton of mud. Would you want to do something like that yourself?"

"I ’avn’t, but sure. It’d be fun."

"Humm, and what would your mom say, Pete, if you came home covered in mud?"

"I don’ know. Not care?"

"Well, see there, Pete, you are right. Because, being the wise woman that I am, I talked to both of your moms about just such an expedition this morning, in case someone asked, and both said it would be fine. But you will be exiled to the backyard when we return."

"Yay," Ben said, "They’re really neat to catch, Pete, except there’s quicksand."

Peter, who didn’t own a dog, said, "’K. Can we take Laddie too? Maybe she could help find them."

Maggie said, "That might not be such a good one. I’ve never heard of a newt hound in the whole wide before."

Ben said, "But we can train her, and she could tell us which rocks and logs and mud patches are best!"

And so, when the sandwiches had turned to crusts and the canned peas were far from the tuna on the pantry shelves, instead of all mixed up together, two boys and a dog and Maggie climbed into her husband’s pick-up and drove to the hunting grounds.

But, alas, for all her fine attributes as a retriever, Laddie proved to have no ability at, nor interest in, sniffing out amphibians under water. Rather she ran to each stone Ben and Peter were going to turn over and splashed enough to warn their quarry.

However, she proved to be great at finding the deepest mud holes and, once they knew none of them were two feet deep, our intrepid hunters were seeking those as much as they were newts, though they denied it.

Maggie displayed strong and continuous support from the banks but showed no inclination to rescue hunters or shoes when they were trapped (though she insisted that both be dug out of any mud bank at once.)

But Peter, and Ben too, and Maggie most of all, knew that the point was the quest, not the prey. So, that zero salamanders were caught, nor ever in danger, on that day did not matter, but when the, not very, disappointed huntsmen trod their, not very, weary way towards the safari vehicle and were not allowed to spread their mud across the park’s playground, that was the only big disappointment of the hunt.

In the truck Maggie said, "And Benji, does Laddie like water baths as she does mud baths? Do you know how to wash a dog?"

"Yeah! Can we do that when we get home?"

"That would be a fine and useful thing for keeping you out of my hair."

A minute later Ben said, "Hey, Maggie?"

"Yes, Bwana?"

"I don’t got no swim trunks now, but do you think boxers would look like a swimsuit if we went swimming in the back yard."

"I think they would fool anyone peering over the fence just fine, but where do you keep that swimming pool hid?"

"I meant we could go in the sprinklers after we wash Laddie, and then not need a bath to get the mud off."

"A-ha, I think that would be a grand way to avoid a bath for a while. Petey, what would you think of going about the back in your boxer’s shorts?"

"I can’t, ’cause I got the other kind of underwear on."

"And if we can find some of Benji’s shorts that would fit, which I’m certain I can?"

"Yeah. Cool," Pete said.

They took off their clothes in the garage, and then washed the dog, tumbled, played soccer, swung on Kathy’s swings, wrestled, jumped and ran, all under the spray of two water sprinklers. When Peter’s mother arrived, all the mud had vanished from boys and dog, to be replaced by four grass stains on knees, but those were not considered nearly as contagious as mud.

After Peter left, Maggie said, "OK, Bwana, I think you have vanquished the mud enough to come inside, but those boxers take longer than real trunks to dry, so take them off on the porch."

"No way, Maggie!"

"And why not, now?"

"’Cuz you can’t see me naked!"

"And why not, now? Yours won’t be the first behind I’ve seen, you know. I’ve seen those of many of your friends and one of your sisters, and I saw a new one today when I brought Petey’s shorts to the garage."

"Yeah, but that’s different. I’m lots older, and you know that."

"Mr. Bwana Ben, I do know that. I know things about you that you don’t know, because I am she that washes your clothes and cleans your room and your bathroom, so I even know how well you aim that thing you don’t want me to see and its range. And, Bwana, I am going to see your behind in time; it might as well be today."

Ben knew this was a lost cause unless he wanted to stay outside alone until the shorts were bone dry, so he said, "But not outside! I’ll take them off just inside the door."

There was only one neighbor’s window that could see the porch, and it always had its shade down, but there is being naked outside and not being naked outside, and Maggie accepted the compromise.

"Just right by the door then, Bwana, and then I’ll get you some juice while you find new ones."

Ben pushed his boxers down and sprinted upstairs. When he got back to the kitchen there were two cups of juice on the counter. One was a regular small glass; the other had a top with a small square, closeable nib on it.

Maggie said, "You may choose your cup, Bwana. If you pick the glass you must sit at the table until you’re done. If you want to go to the den, you must take the sippy cup."

"No way I’m using that thing! Why do I gotta? Even Kathy doesn’t."

"Well she does at times still, I know." (Which was true, that’s why they were in the house, and she had had that table rule until last summer, but mostly she just kept one beside her bed in case she got thirsty during the night now.)

And Maggie said, "They aren’t much different than a water bottle, now are they? And you like to sip for a long time and without sitting all the way up first when you’re on the floor. Do you know how hard it is to get all them little dribbles out of a rug, Bwana?"

"I’ll just stay at the table. I’m not using that stupid thing!"

"I said it was your choice, Benji, and so it is."

Ben sat at the table, but he didn’t want to drink the whole glass at once, and he wanted to drink while he played video games. And it was so dumb that these people kept treating him like a kid just because he was shrunken now, and he sat at the table, and he sulked, and it took longer than ever to finish the juice.

His mom walked in then and said, "Hey, there’s my baby boy. Did Maggie give you a bath already, or didn’t you want to go salamander hunting?"

Why would Maggie ever give him a bath!? "We went, but then played in the sprinklers. Do I gotta use baby cups now, Mom?"

"They’re for bigger kids than babies, baby, and Maggie and I thought it would be a good idea sometimes. Is that why you’re so sad, puppy?"

"But why? And why do you call me baby all the time, and even Kathy you call ’little girl’?"

She moved him into her lap, which was now a comfortable, comforting spot and said, "Well, I call her baby girl sometimes too, you just don’t notice, but I call you ’baby’ more because for a while you didn’t like to hear the word ’little’ at all. But you knew you were always going to be my baby, just like Kathy and Vicky are, no matter how big or old you got. OK?"

Ben was quiet, and she said, "I think you should try that cup and see how it works before you get mad about it, but just wait and see all the packages the girls are bringing in. There was a toy store near the museum having a huge sale. And I got my babies lots of things."

Kathy charged in and said, "Look at these, Benji. We’ve got dolls to bathe now, and some boats and a submarine that really goes under water to play with in the tub. And we got you this bear, that looks like the very first teddy bear ever that they had at the mu’sum, but you better make sure Growl doesn’t hurt him!"

Ben picked up the new bear and gave it a test hug and said, "Growl’s not mean, Kathy! He just likes to growl anyway."

"And I got two really old timey dolls, like in the ’zem, and you get this wood racing car thing. Do you want to come to my room and play with the dolls? I got neat anti’c clothes for them too!"

"No way! I’m gonna go set up this racing ramp!"

 

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