Always His Baby

Chapter 11
Hide and Sneaks

Chapter Description: Sheri hatches a plan to escape her grandmother's house.

Sheridan tries to remember the last Disney film she saw at the cinema. It feels like a distant dream and yet, in her reduced state, it also feels like yesterday. Or rather a premonition of what is to come. Trying to make sense of it gives her the shivers. Instead she tries to focus on the film playing on the TV. The talking cars that move on their own...There is a word for that but it escapes Sheridan just like so many other words have lately.

The movie isn’t really grabbing her. Kids movies are just nothing like they were when she was little. Really little. To be fair, this was the first one she’d seen in years, so chances were she just stumbled upon a dud. Disney moves when she was little consumed her imagination. Everything from Snow White to Aladdin to Tarzan...that’s the last one she can remember truly enjoying. After that she hit her teens and there wasn’t a place for Disney next to her posters of Westlife and Leonardo De Caprio. The humiliation of others finding her cuddling up to a stuffed toy from the Lion King would have ruined her Secondary school social life.

Only now does she ask herself, why did it matter? Why did she have to move on so fast? Dad had always said she didn’t need to grow up so quick. To just enjoy being a kid. She’d given a sigh of exasperation at him not being able to understand! It didn’t matter if she did still like Disney films...it’s not what the other kids her age liked. Mostly. So she had to keep up. Had to be ’mature’ as what others defined the word by. Boys and make-up and the latest pop music - that’s all girls her age should like, right?

Sheridan sighs, inwardly. When did she sacrifice her freedom and imagination for the need to conform? Why did growing up have to involve being so coldly cynical about the world?

"Turn the film off, Lee. Even the baby’s getting bored by it, look!"

Her elder (ha) cousin’s voice snaps her out of her contemplation, though there’s a delayed reaction before Sheridan frowns and realizes that she’s the one being talked about.

"Notta baby!" She protests and resists the urge to kick her buckled shoes against the carpet to add to the effect. "Jacob a baby. I big gul."

Is her speech getting worse? Did it always sound like that and she’s only just realizing?

Not that it matters because none of the other kids seem to be paying attention to her. The two that were on the ping pong table have grown tired of that. The film is turned off. Poor reviews for Cars in this mini theatre it seemed. Sheridan wonders if it was a God send. Had it been one of the classics - Sleeping Beauty or Little Mermaid or even Peter Pan - she would be glued to the screen and her brain melting evermore into toddler pudding. She feels a bit more focused now. Her little legs and tongue may be being naughty but her mind is a bright bulb keeping the truth of who she is revealed to her.

"What do you wanna do then?" One of the boys asks the rest of the group, none of them really looking at their toddler cousin, sat on her bottom on the floor near their feet. "My parents have nothing that fun here. Just more dumb kids movies. I wasn’t even allowed to bring my PS3 down."

"No board games?" Another kid, Cindy, asks.

The boy, Neil, shakes his head and shrugs; "Only the ones Mum and Dad play with their mates when they’ve been drinking. Trivial Purs-something and things like that."

Sheridan watches the bigger kids argue, feeling practically invisible. She looks to the TV, now blank and silent, finding herself missing the colourful images for what little stimulation they gave her. Can she just watch a movie if the other kids don’t want to? The dvd player suddenly looks so complicated. Can she work out how to put the Aladdin dvd in? Will she have to swallow her pride and ask one of her cousins to help? The boredom and anxiety make her fidget and she slips her thumb into her mouth.

That’s a bit better...

Until she finds herself being lifted up by her arm-pits. She whimpers at the surprise and the unsteady hands holding her. The girl who holds her, Jessie, giggles.

"We can do something fun with the baby! Show her off to our parents later!" She suggests, jiggling Sheridan; "You got anything we can dress her in? Maybe teach her to do a dance?"

"That might be fun!" Neil grins at them both and his new teeth show, making Sheridan think of a hungry shark. "We could put our dog’s lead on her and make her do tricks! Put it on YouTube! ’How To Train Your Toddler’."

The bigger kids suddenly erupt into laughter. Sheridan feels the blood boil and rush to her cheeks.

No. Way. No. Bloody. Way.

She roughly wiggles out of Jessie’s hands onto the floor. This time she does stamp her feet and glare up at the children surrounding her. The children who, not too long ago, she had towered over and made it clear who the boss was in this extended family. How dare they forget?

"NOTTA DOGGIE! NOTTA BABY!" She knows if she screams enough then Daddy might come back and get her. Or Grandma.

Hell, anyone, so long as she’s not in this room anymore. Feeling like the runt of the pack.

A finger and thumb pinch her dress, lifting it up before she can control her hands fast enough to stop them. Jessie giggles.

"You’re wearing a nappy like a baby, squirt!" She teases, giving them a prod; "Look! So cute!"

The others laugh again before Sheridan almost rips her dress out of Jessie’s grip and flattens it over her chubby little knees. She juts her chin out at her older cousin in defiance. She’s not going to let these brats beat her.

"Not nappy. Daddy said big girl pants." She puts her hands on her hips...or where they would be if she had any sort of womanly figure. "Go potty like big girl!"

"Wow. Well done you." Another kid says, as patronizing as they come. "Do you think you can play with us big kids for a long time without wetting yourself?"

Sheridan nods; "Yeah! ’Course."

She hopes to God she isn’t blushing right now. The thick fabric of the pull-ups rub against her and she’s aware of her weak bladder. They don’t know about the accident at the shop. Daddy said he wouldn’t tell anyone. She’s not sleepy like she was then anyway. A pink potty has been supplied for her in the downstairs bathroom just a room away. If she feels the slightest twinge then she knows where to go.

But does she want to play with the big kids? Wouldn’t she rather stay here, snuggle on the sofa, suck her thumb and watch Aladdin? No, not even that...Something more important she’s supposed to be doing...

Daddy.

It’s the first word that comes to mind. She just needs to get back out to Daddy. Not in front of her silly aunts and uncles. Maybe not even Grandma. Just talk to Daddy. Get him to help her be a big girl...bigger than she is now...bigger than her cousins. She’s already asked to go back and Jessie said the grown ups were talking and she needed to settle down. Well, she’s settled now. She knows better than to go shooting her mouth off about things no one else is going to believe. Accusations and wild tales that will just have the kids calling her a silly make-believer.

"What game should we play then?" One of them asks.

"Hide an’ seak!" Sheridan answers straight away, bouncing a little on her feet.

She expects her answer to be shot down, though she isn’t going to give up that easily. Except, thankfully, the others give each other a look as if to say that isn’t such a bad idea after all. The obvious answer is usually the best one. Plus it will provide the perfect opportunity for Sheridan to get the hell out of dodge.

(One of these days she’s going to ask Daddy what that saying comes from).

"Good idea, squirt." Neil ruffles her hair, threatening to ruin her perfect plaits. "Coin toss for who looks first?"

Sheridan chooses tails which manages to save her from looking first. However she would still manage to fit that into her plan. Easier if she has to ’hide’ though. It ends up being Jessie who is blindfolded and spun around ten times. She’s then left to count to twenty.

No time to waste, Sheridan makes a bee-line for the kitchen door. The others are too busy finding their own hiding places to care where she goes. Useless as baby-sitters really, she almost wishes she could file a complaint to their parents.

Once she’s in the kitchen, on her own, her mind clears a little bit more. Yet her anxiety peeks at the idea of being found in the kitchen on her own, a toddler surrounded by sharp knives and hot stoves. She has to think quick what her next move is going to be. Has Jessie counted to twenty yet? Sheridan attempts to count that much in her own head to test how quick it is...one, two, three, four, five, six, seven...eight? And then nine...what next? Is there one left before the numbers get bigger? Oh god, she can’t even count to...t-ten! Her breathing quickens as she tries not to panic. She bites her tongue to stop herself from screaming for Daddy.

The other door, the one leading to the living room and not the den, rattles as the handle is turned. Sheridan squeaks and practically throws herself into the nearest ajar cupboard before closing the door. Simple excuse if she’s caught. Just playing hid & seek. Not her fault if her rubbish cousins weren’t looking after her properly. She’s just a...baby. More or less.

Two pair of voices along with two set of footsteps enter.

"Has she rung you recently?" It’s Dad.

"Not quite. I received a Mother’s Day card that was sent from Florida." Grandma replies, regretfully; "Nothing in there apart from the usual ’To Mum, love Leila. No other name included so I guess she’s split up from her latest fellah."

"And of course nothing mentioned about..."

Grandma sighs; "You know there never is, Daniel."

Sheridan blinks. She sits so very still in her tiny, dark space.

"I know. I guess I was curious to know if...what’s happened...if it might affect her somehow." Dad answers rather cryptically.

"You’ll have to ask Ivy how it all works. Magic is one thing to accept but the idea of altering time feels like it’s going to bring on another stroke. I never quite understood it all, I never questioned it. I guess for Leila it must feel like only a couple of years since she left. Not-"

"Sixteen."

"Yes...That’s not why you wanted Ivy to help though, was it? To bring Sheridan’s mother back?"

There’s a silence but Sheridan guesses that Dad is shaking his head.

"I was so young when I was bringing her up. And you and me were at loggerheads for a long time. I don’t know what I did to raise a sweet little girl into someone so...spiteful. And angry." He sounds so much older than usual.

"You did your best, Dan. More than any father would." Grandma comforts; "Teenagers are always an emotional nightmare. Sheridan was a lot like her mum at that age. Leila never really grew past it either. Maybe you and I are just alike...we clung so much to them they felt like tigers trapped in a cage."

"Is that why you sent Ivy to me? You were worried Sheridan was going to turn out the same?"

"...Partly. Why did you accept her help if that wasn’t the case?"

"I’m not sure yet. I was desperate? At my wits end?" He laughs a little, ironically; "Me and Sheri had just had a huge fight. I was sat there in the house wishing I could just have my sweet and happy little girl back again. For things to be like they used to be. So easy and warm and safe. Then, next thing I know a bloomin’ genie is at my door saying she can grant that wish for me...Maybe if I’d taken a moment to think about it I would have told her to go. But I wasn’t thinking. And now here we are...and I’ve got the sinking feeling that I’ve made things ten times worse..."

The pair probably say more. Sheridan doesn’t hear the rest. She’s frozen. In time. In darkness. What little remained of the trust in her tiny heart has been shattered with a sledgehammer. She wants to be sick. She wants to suck her thumb. She wants to scream and cry. She wants Kiara to cuddle and maybe chew on her fluffy ear.

She wants to get the hell out of Dodge. Away from Dad. Away from everyone.

The cabinet is opened before has a chance to make her move.