Always His Baby

Chapter 17
True Love

Chapter Description: Dan faces a choice that will decide the fate of him and his daughter.

Three Days Ago.

The front door is slammed in Sheridan’s wake as she exits the house, ignoring Dan’s attempts to call after her. He sighs and moves back to the kitchen to clean up. The unwanted omelette is thrown in the bin, along with his own as he’s suddenly lost his appetite.

Pancakes. He should have made pancakes instead, what was he thinking? Pancakes were always Sheridan’s favourite. There’s even fresh honey in the cupboard. That might have made all the difference to how that scene played out. Maybe. Not very likely.

Dan sits at the table and pinches the bridge of his nose.

He really hadn’t meant what she thought he’d said. No matter what went on between him and her mother, Sheridan was never a mistake. She was the one perfect thing in his mess of a life. The one person that gave him a reason to get out of bed in the morning. He wishes he knew how to tell her that but he suspects she wouldn’t bother listening to him if he tried. Sheridan barely wants to spend more than a minute in the same house with him lately.

What had he done to make her resent him so much? He hasn’t changed, has he? She’s changed. She’s supposed to change, that’s the whole point of puberty. Of growing up. He’d always known it was coming. He’d never expected it to be this tempestuous. He always assumed the Kevin sketches on The Harry Enfield Show was nothing more than a comedic exaggeration.

Now Dan thinks Kevin’s parents got off lightly.

He picks himself up. There’s nothing he can do about it for now. There’s a house to keep and work to do. Same as every day. It’s monotonous and grey. But his daughter was always the light that shone on everything, turning grey to sparkling silver. Now she’s more like a blinding glare that makes his brain hurt.

It’s tough not to focus on it. He hates the two of them parting on an argument. Especially one of the worst ones where her mother is brought up which is so rare. He’s tried the opposite tactic. He’s tried not being so strict, being gentle and patient like when she was little. It just made her want to push his buttons more. His daughter was nothing if not clever. He just wished she realized how much instead of wasting it skipping school and being with that waste of space boyfriend.

There’s a knock at the front door that surprises him a little. He’s not expecting anyone. His heart leaps a bit at the thought of Sheridan having forgotten her key and maybe coming back, giving him a chance to apologize and try to make it up to her. Though he knows it’s most likely an annoying salesperson.

Dan opens the door to a woman with magnificent emerald eyes, wearing a purple poncho to match her odd hair.

"Uhm...hello?" He says, a bit taken back; "May I help you, miss...?"

"Call me Ivy." She says, stepping in through the door without even waiting to be invited; "You probably don’t remember me. We’ve never actually met but I think you might have heard my name mentioned before. Madame Ivina."

She extends her hand to him. Dan blinks as he thought, just for a moment, he caught what looked like sparkling fairy dust coming from the tips of her fingers.

"At your service, Mr. Tyler."

*

[I]Now

Dan watches Sheridan as she sits in the bath, surrounded by tiny mountains of bubbles and plastic toys. There’s strawberry scents wafting up from the warm water. It’s the perfect bath. Any other baby would feel like they were in a magical pink watery heaven right now.

Not Sheridan.

She remains sat in the water, almost still as a statue. Except her shoulders are slumped and her eyes downcast. Her little chubby finger is making random circles on the surface. Not out of amusement but just to create the slightest distraction or stimulation for herself. She ignores the toys and the bubbles. She’s quiet as a mouse. Any adult walking past would think she was being good as gold.

And it’s scaring Dan a bit. His daughter has barely made a noise since they left the park earlier that afternoon. She hasn’t responded to anything he’s said to her. His attempts to tickle and cuddle her are met with shrugs or attempts to wriggle away. Or, worse, she just sits there like she’s doing right now. As if she’s not even all there. A tiny, cute but lifeless baby.

"Gonna wash your hair now, Princess." He tells her, pouring the little plastic jug of water over her head.

Usually baby Sheridan would have giggled at the sensation. The mini waterfall over her. Sometimes she cried if she was cranky. She never did as she was doing now. She never just sat there, squinting her eyes closed a little out of reflex, before continuing to remain motionless.

Dan bites his lip. His stomach is sinking. He wonders if he should pay that Jake boy a visit and ask what he did to make his baby girl so miserable after they’d had such a lovely day together.

He takes his daughter out of the bath, cuddles her in a towel until she’s nice and dry, then puts her into a fresh nappy along with a tiny blue night-dress that’s more like a pretty t-shirt than a dress as it doesn’t cover over her nappy. Sheridan doesn’t seem to care. Not because she’s distracted by blissful innocence.

She just doesn’t care. Dan can do what he likes with her it seems.

"Come on, my princess." He says, holding her close and taking her downstairs. "Let’s see if we can get a smile on that pretty face of yours, hmm?"

Dan tries everything. He temps a biscuit in front of Sheridan’s face, waving it around and threatening to eat it for himself if she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t. He puts all the most lovely and colourful toys she has in her reach. He puts her favourite Disney song on the kiddie cassette player. He sings along to it, reaching out to take her little hands so he can have the littlest of dances with her.

Once again she pulls her hands away and turns her head to avoid looking at him. The way she’s hunched almost makes her look like a hedgehog attempting to make itself invisible to potential predators. Is that what Dan is to her right now? A threat?

Dan stays crouched in front of her on the soft living room rug while their song - the Aladdin tune - continues to play.

"Oh Sheridan, darlin’." He says, heavy-hearted. "What’s wrong? Can you just...try to tell me please?"

His daughter’s expression shifts a little. Her lips pursed.

"I know. You’re too little to talk right now...And that is my fault." He confesses, thinking she’s worked it out already.

Her clever little mind still struggling to remain in there.

He was told to expect this from the start. And he’s been able to handle it until now. He was told that the confusion and the mental struggle would result in tantrums and nightmares. Things that he knows how to calm down and ease away the fear and anger to bring out his happy baby again. He could cope with that. That’s what all babies did after all.

Except babies are never like this. They sulk, they get angry, they get scared and they get lonely. But they don’t get...depressed. That’s exactly what Sheridan’s eyes are screaming right now. There’s no spark. No fight. And it’s killing Dan right now to see it.

He picks her up and sits her with him on the sofa.

"I thought you were enjoying this, Sheri." He tells her softly; "You were having such fun at the park. What happened? Did that boy say something to upset you? Whatever it was, you don’t need to pay attention to him. You don’t need him...you’ve got me. You’ll always have your daddy, ey?"

Dan reaches out to attempt to stroke her cheek again. This time Sheridan bats his hand forcefully and makes a sound that almost sounds like a sob attempting to be choked back.

He watches as tears stream down his baby daughter’s face.

"Oh sweetheart. Please don’t cry." He whispers, wanting to wipe her cheeks but she clearly doesn’t want him to touch her right now.

Sure, babies cry all the time. They cry for food, for a drink, for changing, for comfort. They scream and they bawl. Sometimes they sniffle and whine. But babies don’t...cry silently. They don’t cry like they don’t want to be seen crying. That defeats the whole purpose.

His daughter is crying tears of defeat. Except it’s Dan who feels beaten right now. And he deserves to be beaten around the head with a sledgehammer.

"Sheridan...Oh god, what have I done?" He asks, knowing full well the horrific answer.

A hand touches his shoulder.

"You haven’t done anything." The woman...Ivy, tells him, standing behind them; "It was my spell. I thought this was what you wanted."

He shakes his head; "My daughter being miserable? No. I’m pretty sure that was the last thing I wanted. Look at her...what is happening right now? Does she remember? Does she hate me?"

Ivy moves to crouch in front of the baby. She looks into her eyes a bit as if she were a doctor checking her vision. She gives a thoughtful hum and stands up.

"Basically her mind is on a precipices right now." Ivy explains, bluntly; "She remembers her adult thoughts but she’s ready to give up and give in to being a child in body and mind. She’s not going to fight being your baby anymore."

"But then...why is she so...So sad?" He asks, hating the very sight of her in such a state. It’s cutting him up to see her so upset. So lost and dejected.

Ivy shrugs; "I guess the feelings she has might be so strong that...my magic isn’t going to be able to make them go away. Even when she’s a baby, growing back up, she’ll carry the weight of this sadness from before. Without even knowing where it’s from."

Sheridan doesn’t even seem to be listening right now. She’s returned to sucking her thumb while keeping her eyes downcast. It doesn’t matter if she listens or not. Grown ups are talking. Doesn’t concern her.

"That’s awful...Stop it. Change her back." He tells the genie. "I take back my wish, just change her back to a teenager."

"It’s not that simple-"

"Make it simple!" Dan raises his tone, getting up off the sofa to meet the woman’s eyes; "This isn’t even what I wished for! You messed it up so fix it. Now....Please!"

"Your wish was clear, if I recall." She says, folding her arms; "You wished for your happy little girl back. She’s not going to get more little than this...well, she could, but I doubt it would help."

"Yes and what was the first part of that wish?" Dan challenges; "Happy. I just...wanted her to be happy. Her being little, physically, had nothing to do with it!"

Ivy blinks; "Well, you didn’t make that very clear-"

"I’m her dad. She’s my daughter." He tries to explain, passionately, to the genie; "No matter what age she is, she will always be my little girl. Even when she’s in her sixties and I’m in my eighties, she will still my baby! Do you understand that?"

The genie closes her mouth and goes silent. A little humbled by the declaration. The two of them look to the baby who is now looking up at her father from the sofa, eyes still watering in uncertainty, thumb in between her lips.

Dan tries to calm himself. He doesn’t want to upset Sheridan more by shouting in front of her. He must seem so big and scary right now. Just like the day in the supermarket. So long ago.

"I thought you were doing this because she would be happier when she was little, like I remembered her." He says a bit quieter to the woman; "But she’s not...she won’t be while I keep her like this against her will."

"Well I did say at the start. I can’t change people’s emotions." Ivy admits, a bit helplessly; "I can’t force her to be happy...I, too, thought she’d enjoy returning to childhood. There’s definitely been moments of promise, where she’s let herself sink into it, but it’s not enough for her, somehow."

"Well if she doesn’t want it then neither do I..." says Dan.

He turns back and sits beside Sheridan who has remained watching him. He wonders if she can still understand him. If she’s heard a word. At least she’s meeting eye contact with him now, though her expression remains pained and broken. He brushes his fingers against her wet cheeks.

He’d rather suffer her hatred forever than hurt her this way.

"...If that is your decision." Ivy nods.

"It is...so please, just-" Dan looks up to see that the woman has vanished into thin air. He groans; "Why does she have to keep doing that?"

He looks back at Sheridan.

"Right...C’mere, you." He brings her closer to him, putting his hands on her sides; "...I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for what I’ve done. I’m never gonna ask for it. I told myself I was doing this just for you. For you to be happy...but I realize now how selfish I was just so happy to have my baby back. I was wrong. I underestimated just how strong and resilient you are...I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that, most of all...and you shouldn’t either."

He takes a breath. This is taking more effort than he imagined it would. Sheridan is watching him intently. It’s unclear if she can understand a word he’s saying. He just hopes. She’s such a clever girl. Always was.

Dan lifts her up by her arm-pits, holding her level with his face.

He smiles; "Just know that, no matter what happens after this, even if you never wanna speak to me again...I’ll always be here for you. Always."

Sheridan’s little hand reaches out to touch her father’s cheek. It’s also wet like hers. Dan smiles at the touch, sniffing a little. Taking in that sweet bath-clean baby smell one final time, locking it to memory along with all the other precious sensory mementos.

He smiles at her and pulls her close, gently putting his lips against hers and giving her the chastest and sweetest of kisses. Dan closes his eyes, as does his daughter.

The moment barely lasts more than three seconds.

When Dan opens his eyes, he finds himself face-to-face with the sleepy expression of his fifteen year old daughter, sat on the sofa with her legs folded underneath her, long blond hair tumbling in curls down to her returned breasts, thankfully dressed in an adult-sized version of the night-dress she was wearing as a baby before. Before the spell was broken by the one renowned cure told in countless fairy tales throughout the ages.

His hands are still on her, moving to her shoulders, holding her secure. In case she topples. She’s grown four and a half feet but he still feels the urge to treat her like fragile perfect china.

Sheridan blinks her eyes open. She looks down at herself. At her chest. At her hands. Dan watches patiently as she takes a breath and checks herself over before feeling her own face. Making sure everything is in place as she remembered probably. He gives her the shyest of smiles as she meets his eyes, her own still a little red with tears.

Miraculously, she smiles back. Just a little.

"Hi, Daddy..."