D.E.A.L.

Chapter 7
Finale

And so it went. I began dividing my time between being Dani’s boyfriend and her little brother. I had equal fun in each, being able to connect with her on a physical aspect while I was older, but I think I had a bit more fun as a toddler. Perhaps the ?real’ me had been forced to grow up too fast or something, I don’t know, but I just loved to play. I loved being held, bounced around, pushed on the swings, all the sorts of things you have to leave behind with elementary school. I began spending less and less time as an adult, when it hit me. I needed to make a decision.

I couldn’t keep jumping around like this. Fairy tale that it had been, it was time to get on with my life, as it were. I had made the most of my present, but now it was time to look to my future. I was grateful for the magic key and all, but I needed to get real.

It tore me up, and surprised me that I found the decision of what to do so hard. I mean, it was a pretty heavy choice. I was actually thinking of wishing myself permanently (until I grew up again, that is) little. I...I...just felt...freer, happier, and oddly, closer to Dani that way. It might be a bit wrong to think about my girlfriend like this, but in that guise, she was almost like the mother I never had. She was kind, compassionate, caring, and loved me deeply, no matter what form I wore.

A week. I gave myself a week to decide. It was the deadline for several things, so it seemed appropriate. It was a week until school began, and it was a week before my birthday. I didn’t know or care if it really was mine or Hayden’s, I’d honor it just the same. I’d be...well...I could be any age I wanted, right?

It was halfway through this week that Dani and I attempted sex for the first time as well. I’m sure Hayden and her were intimate before I came along, but this was different, and Dani knew it. At first, I was a bit boggled by the physics of the act, my being a fox, and her a human, but she kindly explained it to me before the lights when out. Turns out that human-thera relationships were quite common, and the child of such couples wouldn’t be half and half, instead, it would be the species of the mother. Same with thera and thera children. There were no half skunk, half otters out there, only one or the other.

Our night together was beautiful, candlelit and gentle, but it also...it also made my choice a lot easier. Though I loved her with all my being, I did not have the desire for a physical relationship in that way. I...can’t explain it, but it was like...I liked being held, my head being rubbed, and my tummy scratched more then the act of sex itself. I sighed to myself, and realized what this meant. I went to bed ill at ease, but committed to my choice.

It was Friday night when I did it. Saturday was my birthday, and Dani had planned a weekend getaway to the mountains to celebrate before school started on Monday. I didn’t know how those plans would be shaken up by my wish, but I couldn’t let myself be talked out of this. I don’t know why I felt this overwhelming need to do this, but it was a strong impulse that I couldn’t deny.

The clock chirped 11:58pm at me, and I looked down at the slumbering figure that lay next to me. Tears ran down my face, but I knew this was what I wanted. When I was little, I had gone from being a kid that Dani babysat to her stepbrother. I knew we would go back to that once the wish was complete, and I was content with that. I’d retain my own mind, so I’d hopefully be less of a bother to her then a normal kid brother would be. She loved me still, and...

It’s time.

“Key...” I said, holding the silver little thing in my hands, close to my mouth, “I don’t know where you came from, or why I received you, but I just wanted to say, thank you, for everything. I know there may or may not be someone to hear this on the other end, but I hope so. You have my gratitude. You have given me everything I have asked for and more. But now, I give you up.”

“Key, I wish to be seven years old again. To be Danielle’s little brother. To truly start over in this new life, and to be able to start and live a normal one this time around. No magic, no wishes, just real life. Further, I hope you’ll allow me to stay like this, close to her, until life decides to bid us part. She means everything to me, please, give me the means for us to live happily ever after, if such a thing exists.”

The key chimed, pulsing in my paw. I gazed closely at it, and then the clock stuck twelve. As I watched, I began to shrink. My paws slowly transformed from long fingered and deft to chubby and awkward. My stomach puffed out a bit, and my russet fur lightened to a pale yellow, the color of a kit’s fur. My long tail, which I had since shut several times in doors, shank along with me, changing from a luxurious brush, to a small tuft of a tail. My evening clothes began to writhe and change as well, my shirt and pants merging together and thickening into fleece, becoming a pair of green footed pajamas. Around my waist, I could feel the boxers I had worn (my problems at night had since stopped) bunch up and spread my legs apart, as it became a diaper. The changes ended at about 12:05am. Sniffing once, I looked down at the key that still hung from my neck. I tried to find a clasp to remove it, but I couldn’t. Finally, I just closed my eyes, and with a yank, I tore it off. Holding it tightly, I kissed it, then opened my hands. It wasn’t there.

Dani stirred, and I wiped away my tears. Easing her arm to the side, I tunneled under her outstretched arm. In reflex, she pulled me closer to her, and in a few quick moments, I was asleep.

***************************

“It’s time,” a deep voice said, pointing at a small figure that gazed down into the pool.

“Must we? They look so happy...can’t we wait?” The other said in a squeaky voice, one that perfectly hid her age. Though she didn’t like to admit it, she held several millennia under her belt. .

“You know what would happen. He used his Last Wish.”

“Must it be...that way?”

“We have to listen to the big guy. I don’t want to do it anymore then you do.”

The little girl sighed. “Alright, but please, make it quick, ok?”

***********************

Morning finally shook me awake, and I sat up, blinking at the offending celestial body. For a moment, I was disoriented, but a hand came down, running through my hair.

“Oya, kiddo, you’re not going to sleep in today? Of all days?”

Her voice was as soft and full of life as ever, and I shook my head, reaching for her hand. She danced away from me, and came into focus. She must have gotten up some time ago, because she was fully clothed, and looked as beautiful as ever...I shook myself again. She was my sister. Why was I thinking like that?

“I’m up, I’m up...”

She smiled. “Oh, that’s good. Hate to have to trade up to atomic nugies, I would. C’mon, birthday boy! Up and at um!”

Oh that’s right...

As I stepped off the bed, she reached over to unzip the pajamas I was wearing, and just a bit, they lay in a heap on the floor. I could tell that my diaper wasn’t the driest it could be, but nothing that warranted full on bath treatment. I let her push me back on the bed and go about changing me. I almost expected the key to still be there...y’know? But it was gone. She was saying something, but my hearing was drifting in and out. What had I done?

Finally, she said something that sifted through.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind, but I think we’re going to push back your birthday ?til next week. I’m going to get on the horn with God and see what he can do.”

“What?” I protested, childish disappointment outweighing self-doubt. “Why?”

“Because,” she said, dropping a shirt onto my head, muffling my protests, “school starts this week! Think of all the new friends you’re going to meet! I figured you, being the charming and dashing figure you are, wouldn’t have a problem making aquaintences. By next week, you can invite the whole lot of them, and we’ll all go to Treasure Island. How does that sound?” She poked me in the nose as I got the shirt on. I blinked, and thought it over.

“Wellllllllllll...I s’pose.” I said, then looked up at her with big, teary eyes. “We can still have cake though, right?”

She grinned. “What do you think breakfast is? C’mon, Noah!”

With that, Dani bent over and scooped me up, depositing me on her shoulders. Minding my head, we walked into the kitchen, which was literally covered in confetti, balloons, you name it. A large banner proclaiming ?HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ to me hung over the door way. It was a bit much...and I could feel real tears falling from my eyes. I buried my face in her hair, and began crying in earnest. Quickly, she got her hands around me and held me at arms length.

”Oh, Noah, what’s wrong? Birthday boys aren’t supposed to cry!”

I sniffed and grinned at her. “It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I wanna,” I said in broken sing-song.

She laughed and set me down. I gave her leg a big hug. “Thank you so much, Danielle. I love you.”

“Love you too, Noah.” She clapped her hands together. “Now, about that cake.”

Which was delicious, by the way.

Afterwards, I asked Danielle if we could go to the park. For old times sake. I was still...I was still a bit bowled over by the enormity of the decision I had made. My stomach hurt, my head rang with odd signals, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I thought if we went to the park, where I had had so much fun, maybe that would put an ease to my worries. She readily agreed, having already prepared for that. She readied the stroller, but my legs seemed to be fine, and I wanted to walk. She sighed and heeded my birthday wish, throwing a few supplies into a purse that I suspect would double as a diaper bag today.

December had come and gone, and January seemed determined to change everything. Gone were the Christmas lights and the decorations, gone was the light sprinkling of snow, a first for the area, and in it’s place, the sun bravely shown. It was still a bit nippy, so I was clothed in a bunchy sweater that added about twenty pounds to me. Probably Dani’s revenge for getting my way with the stroller. Ah well.

It happened so suddenly.

As we made our way, a terrible, loud screeching sound echoed over our heads, and we turned to see what was causing it. A car, a blue convertible was careening down the road. It swerved and dipped, and finally, clipped an oncoming car. The collision spun the car towards us, and at full speed, it came.

It happened so suddenly.

Without even a warning, I was roughly shoved backwards, hard, and I landed badly, banging my head against the concrete. I was just trying to shake the daze off when I heard. I can not put the sound into words, and I will not try. And that was it.

The blue convertible smashed into the fence next to where we were walking, and smoke began to pour from it’s engine, darkening the sky. I tried to stand up, but my legs didn’t hear me. It’s like they weren’t there. Shoving that aside, I crawled over the wreckage. Danielle...

Then I saw her. She...she had tried to get clear, but..

I made my way to her, and with tears pouring from my eyes, I realized that she was gone. There was blood everywhere, and her wounds, though I couldn’t see them, must be horrible. I stared at her face, frozen, staring ahead, and I screamed, a long, howling cry that came from the depths of my soul. There would be no final words, no tearful good bye. It had happened so suddenly.

A pain, intense and undeniable, raged at my neck, and suddenly, my vision was bathed in silver light. I clutched frantically at my chest, realizing in an instant what it was. The little key shined bright, but I didn’t care.

“Please! Please save her! I wish...I wish for you to save her!” I howled, to the winds. “Please!”

Sirens echoed in the distant, very close, but I was a million miles away. Nothing happened. Nothing happened.

“Please! I wish for you to save her! I wish I wish I wish!” I shouted, over and over, but still, nothing happened.

“Please!”

The key shattered.

The pieces floated up in front of my face, and the world spun, draining of color. Every shard of light became a mirror, and in every mirror held a face. In that moment, I knew. I knew it all.

It was about this time that the ambulances finally came. Shadows fell over me, but truth or no, I couldn’t let her go. I grabbed onto her body, and three people had to pry me away. They assured me that things would be alright, as they loaded me into the ambulance. I shared it with the driver of the car who had done this. Shivering, I looked over at him.

He had no face.

The world shattered, and I was cast into darkness. By my mind still drove on.

My name was Noah Cisteine. I had a mother, a father, two cats and a fish named Gary. I was seventeen, a junior in highschool, and I drove a beat up Toyota truck. It was a piece of crap, but it got me to where I needed to go. I was kind of a loner, given to black trenchcoats, my thin frame and attitude not supporting many extra-curricular activities. Depressed often, I tried to view things from an existentialist standpoint, that all decisions must be made for the now, and screw the future. Because of that, when my friends came and went, I usually didn’t do anything to keep them. I did great in school, but I was empty. She changed all that.

Her name was Jamie Yolen, and she was my first girlfriend. She had dug me out of my lonliness, and drug me snarling and biting into the light. I don’t know what she saw in me, all that mattered was that she loved me. She brought out things in me that I didn’t know were there, and for the first time, I was truly happy. My mother, a strong, independant woman, stayed out of my life, and I had grown up not knowing the loving touch of a hand across my back. Jamie gave all that to me and more.

Then he came into the picture. Kyle Tovan. He shared a study period with us, and when I transferred out of that class to get more sleep in the morning, he made quick friends with her. Soon, they were always together when I couldn’t be, and that started to worry me. I didn’t have a job, didn’t make much allowance, but he had a good job at his dad’s office. He was also very active in sports and was an up and comer on the football team. And worst of all, he carried a harmonica with him at all times, and broke into song whenever Jamie was around, something that made her laugh. It tore me up inside. I had never had a girlfriend, and I was terrified that I might do something that would make Jamie hate me. So I let them see each other, not saying anything, until it finally got to much to stand. I tried to tell her not to see him anymore, and...well...she broke up with me. On Christmas.

It was like the end of my world. My only light, gone. I had no friends to turn to for help, and my family only made things worse with the constant ?I told you so,’ and ?just Deal’. The new semester rolled around, and I saw them constantly, and I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t sleep at night, my grades suffered...my world was over. Deal. What did they think that meant?

I filled the tub with cold water, then dumped a bucket of ice into it as well. A nervous, terrified feeling shuddered through me, but I had made up my mind. Live for the now...and the now was terrible, lonely and cold. I barely felt the shock of the water as I stepped into it, my head swarming with all the pills I had stolen from my mother’s cabinet. There was a razor on the sink, but I couldn’t bring myself to doing it that way. My eyes felt heavy, and before I sat back to let the waters close over my head, I reached up, and with a thick black marker, I wrote my suicide note.

Sorry,

I Just could not

Die

to

Escape

All

Love

Ta, everyone

And then my head went under, and my heartbeat slowed. The pills made sure that I wouldn’t wake. Darkness set in, and my life ended. A miserable end for a pathetic soul.

“Noah.”

I blinked as the word pierced through my thoughts. I opened my eyes to a miasma of white.

I was in a hospital bed. A hospital gown hung loosely over me, and an IV ran from my arm to a machine on the side of the bed. My head hurt terribly, but I didn’t care. Dani was gone now. I knew where I was. This had all been a lie.

“No it wasn’t.”

“What?” I asked, looking around for the source of the voice. There was no one in here though, not even a nurse.

“I said,” the voice replied, and I became aware of little hands waving to get my attention from the side. “It wasn’t a lie.”

I looked over, and recognized the little raccoon from before, Gabbie. She was garbed in a white blazer over a flowing white skirt, and she had a green ribbon tied up in her hair. She smiled up at me, but I turned away from her, and laid down. Tears fell.

“I know the truth now,” I said hollowly. “I killed myself, didn’t I? I killed myself and I’m in hell.”

Suddenly, she was right there, sitting on the bed next to me. “Well, you’re partley right. But this isn’t hell.”

I shifted the other way. “Are you an angel?”

“We are many things to many people. Angel is just one of our names.”

“Oh.”

“Noah, listen to me.”

“No!” I cried, sitting up. We were the same size, and I looked into her eyes. “Dani is gone. Dead, or whatever. Did she even exist?”

“She existed for you, Noah.”

“Then all of this was a lie! There was no Hayden, that was just me thinking about Kyle. No Mary, just my own distant parents. No...Dani...she was just...”

She bopped me on the head, silencing me and causing me to bite my tongue. “Hush! Geeze lousie...”

“Look. Hayden Welk is a real person. We govern incalculable worlds and dimesions, and from time to time, we see two threads of fate intermingle. Like yours and Hayden’s. You both...well...you led very different lives...but...well...shared similar ends...”

“He killed himself?” I asked, barely listening. Presented now with the answers my soul had longed for, I didn’t care. I just wanted this to end. To be left alone.

“He did. He did at exactly the same time you did. We upstairs, well...we decided to switch you up, give you the key and different starts, and see how you would do.”

“Is that what you things do for fun?”

She looked hurt, but her eyes softened.

“No, Noah. The big guy has plans for us all, in this world and the next. We exist to make sure you’re ready for it.”

I growled in frustration. “Who, God?”

“He has gone by many nam...”

“Ok, I get it. Why did you take my memories, then? Why did Hayden get to keep his?”

She looked thoughtful, an odd expression on an adolescent raccoon. “Well, we were testing you, Noah. Your challenge to overcome was the situation you had been born into. You had no control over it, and upstairs, we tend to give those of you the benefit of the doubt. Hayden’s challenge was himself.” Her expression turned sad. “He failed.”

“What’s going to happen to him?”

Gabriel shook her head. “None of your concern, kid, but points for asking. No, his story is at it’s end, and it’s almost time for yours to finish as well.”

“I don’t understand. If you are what I think you are, how can you ever forgive me for what I’ve done? And what do you mean, benefit of the doubt?”

She tapped me lightly on the nose. “Don’t worry about it! Diversity erases all lies. Every hero gets a happy ending, right? That’s how the fairy tales go, right?” She smiled, and turned as the door behind her opened slowly. “At least, in the best ones, it does.”

The man she had addressed as Michael back at Treasure Island stepped through, wearing a stern expression and a long, flowing white robe. It almost looked like he was dressed up for a medieval faire, but I didn’t say anything. His eyes narrowed on me anyway, then he turned his attention to the little girl.

“I can’t believe you’re still in that guise.”

Gabriel stuck her tongue out at him. “Oh, hush. I kinda like it. Everything go ok?”

He grinned down at her. “Doesn’t it always?” He extended a hand, rough looking and worn to me. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but blue skies, long days, and peace. I hopped slowly off the bed and took a few cautious steps. My legs held me up, but I knew they would. There was nothing wrong with my legs. Not here. “Seems you have might have a birthday to be getting to, if I recall.”

I extended my paw to him, and he took it, drawing me close. In his other hand, he held someone else’s, a slender, light colored human hand. Nodding softly, he took my hand, and placed it in hers. I looked up, and knew, knew without a doubt, that I was home, and that I would know everlasting peace. I gazed into her eyes, and quietly said through the tears, “I missed you.”

The End.

 

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