The Return to Innocence

Chapter 17
Chapter 17 Rob Story

The Return to Innocence - Part 17, Rob’s Story

Within 30 seconds there was an attendant standing behind him ready to comfort the little baby. Instead of picking him up and holding him as expected she put one hand on his shoulder while the other grabbed the back of his pants and diaper, pulling them away and looking inside. “Oh! Poor dear what is the problem? You haven’t made a stinky in your dydee?” She then turned Rob around and stuck two fingers down the front of his diaper. “Uhhh, Gross!” she said, as she reached for some paper towel and wiped her hands.

Rob wasn’t sure why she had reacted that way, then a few seconds later he realized he was peeing in his diaper. Piecing together the events, he concluded she must have immersed her fingers into a pool of fresh pee that hadn’t been absorbed by the gel yet. Rob stuck a finger in his mouth and giggled at her. After the assistant cleaned her hands, she stopped for a second, looked down at Rob and smiled at the infantile behaviour. “How can I get mad a little cutie like you.” She picked him up and carried the child over to the nearest changing station where he was quickly changed and placed back on the floor and allowed to return to the toys.

By the time the diaper change was completed he had completely forgotten about why he had been crying in the first place. The fact that Benny was allowed to play with the bigger kids was completely forgotten as if it had never happened in the first place. With his freshly diapered butt sticking up high in the air, Rob crawled over to the toys scattered in a corner of the room. He found an interesting plastic car with large green wheels that he pushed back and forth. He pretended that it was his work vehicle and he was driving home from work stopping at the grocery store before making his way to the daycare to pick up Benny.

Rob was thoroughly into his game when he stopped. He looked up towards the ceiling, then stuck a thumb in his mouth and took a short break like a man stepping outside for a quick cigarette. He slowly pulled the thumb in and out massaging his cheeks. The rhythmic motion relaxed the child as he meditated barely conscious of what was going on around him. Suddenly and baby stumbled past him, stopped and looked down at Rob. Without removing his thumb he looked up at the larger boy dressed in a yellow t-shirt and nothing below the waist except for his white disposable diaper. The child spied the toy car then reached down grabbed it and toddled away.

Rob was stunned. He sat there thumb still in his mouth as he watched his pride and joy walking away. Rob wasn’t sure what to do but he wanted it back. It was his, no one else can hold it. No one else but him was allowed to have it and it made him furious someone took it away from him. Rob was going to go after the toy when his emotions got the best of him. He started to cry as a baby could only do. His wails got louder as he became more irate. He couldn’t help himself, he’d lost all self-control.

An attendant came rushing over to check up on Rob, she made sure he wasn’t hurt and deduced that he was upset about something of little consequence. She picked Rob up and bounced in her arms as he slowly calmed down. Rob was still frustrated but soon he had forgotten why which allowed him to calm down faster. “There there little Robbie, everything is going to be alright. You just calm down and stop crying and act like a biiiig boy. There there, everything is going to be allll right. Oh, you poor thing it must be almost time for a nap, you look tired.” The attendant coddle Rob as he slowly calmed down. He was happy to be bounced in her arms as she rubbed his back. It was wonderful and secure even if it wasn’t his mother’s musings. It was almost meditative as he burrowed his head into the attendant’s chest. It was calming and his mind drifted into thoughtlessness where he focused on the rubbing and patting of his back.

Suddenly he realised the attendant was putting him down on the floor. He was a little annoyed not to have her complete and undivided attention, he wanted to be held in her warm and comforting embrace and he was becoming frustrated by her lack of attention to him. Without thinking he began to fuss and cry wanting to be picked up. He wanted to be in her arms and didn’t see why he shouldn’t be there. Over the past week his world had spiraled inwards to the point that he only saw the world from his perspective, he only saw his place in the world and had no interest that some other baby needed her help. His fussing quickly became a cry for help as he wanted her to pick him up now and cuddle him.

The attendant returned quickly and bent down to check that everything was okay with Rob. She knew he wanted her undivided attention, something she was used to seeing around the daycare. She also knew how to deal with such a situation. The attendant returned and bent down in front of Rob, placing a hand on his back. He immediately calmed down expecting her to pick him up. However the attendant deftly shook a set of oversized plastic keys in front of Rob, distracting him and causing into to grab the keys to investigate. Quickly the keys found a home in his mouth as he explored their texture with his lips and tongue. With his attention distracted he never realised the attendant had left to deal with another child. Rob was satisfied to remain on the carpet idly sucking and playing with his new toy.

A few minutes later Michelle came into the room to collect her son. She thanked the attendant for taking care of Rob and held out her arms for the little guy. Rob was very happy to finally be back in Michelle’s arms. He didn’t know why, nor did he care why he felt better in her arms but something about her feel and smell made him more secure. Especially in times of distress like now, Rob was happy to be held by her and only her.

Michelle cuddled her son close and prattled baby talk for a few seconds before looking at the clock on the wall. “Thank you for letting Benny play with the other children for a while, however I think he needs to come back more often to learn how to play with others. He hasn’t had as much experience playing with children other than Benny.”

Rob still had his thumb in his mouth but looked up at Michelle with a look of distain on his face at that comment. “How can she say that about me? Who does she think I am?” However he was willing to wait to discuss that with her, this was not the time nor the place to have that discussion.

Michelle thanked the manager for her help and left with Rob while Benny stayed at the daycare for the day. She walked out to the van and strapped Rob into his car seat before lowering the arm wrest. Michelle then jumped into the front seat and they were off. “Michelle. Dat wasn’t fair to claim I need to learn to socialize. I am 40, I think I have more than enough experience thank you.”

“Well hon, you didn’t handle that situation very well. You have to share with others and not have a tantrum when you don’t get your way. You are going to have to learn to play better with others or you are going to have an awfully rough time.” Rob just sat there and pouted. He told himself, “She doesn’t understand. Grown-ups never understand.” For the rest of the journey Rob sat is his seat and said nothing just stewing over his latest frustration.

Once Michelle pulled into the parking lot near Rob’s lab facilities his demeanor changed as his anticipation grew. By the time Michelle had parked Rob was a chatter box of excitement. At one point Rob realized his diaper was getting warm however it was quickly dismissed as he strained to see what was going on.

Michelle opened the side door of the van and unstrapped the baby standing him beside her. “Please baby, don’t move you are standing in the middle of the parking lot.” Rob nodded in agreement however it did not stop Michelle from worrying as she kept a close eye on Rob. He was impressed by the ease it took to unfold the stroller. As an adult it was simple, however in Rob’s position he could see everything from a new perspective. Rob did not struggle or complain when Michelle grabbed him under the arms and hoisted him into the stroller’s seat. As he was carefully placed in the seat, Rob could tell he was damp as the diaper seemed a bit cold against his skin however he didn’t feel like it was soaked.

They walked across the parking lot and to the main doors. Once they arrived he could hear Michelle grunting and struggling with the door. Although he couldn’t see he knew that having a diaper bag, purse and stroller to navigate through the large wooden doors of the physics building was no easy task. Why they had never installed a hydraulic handicap door all of a sudden seemed perplexing, he would have to discuss it with the administration once this crisis was over.

Then out of nowhere a familiar voice called out. “Let me get that door for you.” Michelle stopped struggling and smoothly passed through the entrance.

however it was readily He realized this as Michelle walked up to the front doors only to be met by a grad student who politely held the large wooden doors open for a mother and her son.

“Why thank you for helping. I don’t know how I’d have opened these old doors. You think they would have modernized the building with all the high-tech research going on here.” The 25 year old student just smiled and agreed with the statement. “Now that is a cute little guy you have there. What is his name?” The student bent down to look at the child but Rob was not happy being examined by someone especially someone he recognized from his lectures. She was a top of the class student. He had many conversations with after class discussing complex theories about field dynamics and temporal equations. Rob had briefly considered bringing Karen into the project in a junior role however it’s sensitivity has made it implausible.

Now she was just another woman in the eyes of a year-old baby. Rob looked up at her with wide eyes and an open mouth. Not sure what his next move should be, Karen acted immediately. She produced a Kleenex and wiped away a large gob of drool hanging from his chin making its way onto his shirt. “Now he looks much more suave.” As she looked down into the eyes of the professor. “Someday your are going to make a very cute man with your big dimples.”

Suddenly Rob became very uncomfortable as this foreign woman stuck her face in his personal space. Frankly, the only person Rob felt comfortable around was Michelle and he felt a growing panic rising from his gut. This feeling wasn’t like his need to poo that gave a low rumble from the same area but a sense of impending doom that this strange woman represented. Rob didn’t understand why he was scared by her. He’d had many discussions with her and besides no student had ever scared him like this student did at this moment. As the panic continued to rise in Rob it felt like it could overflow causing him to explode. If fact, he wasn’t if he might have peed himself, as his diapered seemed warmer than usual.

Susan could also see the tell tale signs of a baby in the midst of a panic attack. The fidgeting and grunts of displeasure were enough to let Susan know he wanted his mommy right now and was not comfortable around her right now. Michelle also recognized her son’s discomfort and understood it was time to continue to the lab. “Well we should be off and thanks again for helping with the door.”

Susan just smiled and waved at Rob before disappearing into the crowd. Rob did not wave back as he still didn’t like her, at least for the moment. He did feel bad not being more friendly and at least smiling but for some reason he just was comfortable with a new person today.

Michelle pushed the stroller, towards the annex where the research labs were located. As they passed through the crowded hallways Rob noticed an added bonus to his present height. From this position he could see underneath most of the ladies skirts. Surprisingly a few did not have underwear however this was just a passing note that barely registered with Rob. All children at his age didn’t care what others wore and frankly most babies didn’t care what they wore either. It did surprise him that the women were not more modest. They must realize he was looking up their skirts however if they did notice they didn’t seem to care. He giggled at the thought of what he might be able to get away with.

For the first time Rob saw a bonus to his situation. Imagine the conversations he could overhear because the participants would expect he didn’t understand. He daydreamed possible situations, like pulling off a heist with him as the ?inside man’ or maybe a career as a model.

He was brought back to reality when a familiar voice appeared from nowhere. “uuuh...Hi Margaret, what are you doing here? Is your husband with you today? ” It was Margaret, Jeff’s wife, she stepped across the threshold of the elevator. Rob began to tense up as he was unsure if their disguise would survive in front of someone who knew him.

“I’m here to meet with, Tim. We talked on the phone yesterday, he asked we meet in a few minutes.” Michelle’s speech slowed as a quizzical look came across her face. “There haven’t been any problems over the past week?”

“Well...no, not really.” It was obvious that Margaret was uncomfortable with the question. The elevator doors closed behind Margaret with an ominous thud, leaving her alone with Michelle and the child. She started fidgeting with the foldable playpen in her other hand. “Jeff has been a little ?under’ the weather.”

Michelle and Rob looked at each other at the same time. Michelle gaze moved to the playpen and then up towards Margaret. “Your daughter is a little old for a playpen. Is there someone else in your family with a recent need to use it?” Michelle continued to sense a growing uneasiness from Margaret as she nodded ’yes’.

“Margaret, is that playpen for your husband?”

- to be continued.